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OTHER SIDE DINER MUG- Pre-Order Live!

Want to drink hot beverages just like the characters do on Rude Tales of Magic?? Well now you can! Pre-order your official Other Side Diner Mug today! We're running this pre-order until the 31st, so mugs will arrive in time for the holidays! Get yours today šŸ’• ā˜•

PRE-...

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Rude TAROT of Magic: The Tower

The Tower. The Crisis. The Downfall. It reminds me of a riddle!

A frog, eager to rise above his peers, hopped off his lily pad onto an exposed root at the bank of the creek. The root, taller and more elegant than all the lily pads available, elevated the frog in the eyes of all the frogs, toads, salamanders, fish, snakes, spiders, flies, mosquitos, and moths in the area.

ā€œI love y...

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Rude Talks of Chatting Episode 68: Hell Rules w Caldwell Tanner

It's here. The Episode of Rude Talks of Chatting where Ali, Branson, Carly, Chris, Joe, and Tim answer questions about Episode 68. And it happened in the strangest of ways. 

The entire cast met via zoom to record an episode of the hit series Rude Tales of Magic. But then technical issues made the recording impossible. A selection of the crew decided to record a last minute Rude Talks...

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Rude TAROT of Magic: Eight of Swords


EDIT: I (guess who!) read the Roman numeral of 8 as 7. It's a mistake anyone would make but I (seriously, guess!) was the one who ended up making it. The below caption does not work for the card in question but what if it did? Wouldn't that be cool? 


Seven of Swords. Trickery. Deception. Makes sense in theory, but how do trickery and deception work in practice? ...

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TEETH LIKE BEAK: An Hour Of Joy with Tim Platt at City Vineyard in NYC

I'm doing a new, intimate hour of stand up and music in NYC on October 26th!

This is me prepping to eventually record an hour so I'd love to have a nice warm room. It's all my (imo) best stuff and it's ONLY an hour so I think it'll be fun. 

Get tix here: 2023-10-05 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post

Rude TAROT of Magic: The Moon

Look, I was going to write something about trusting your intuition through uncertainty and allowing your unconscious mind space to assert itself atop of your mindful anxieties but then I started to read the labyrinthos.co page about this card. Everything seemed normal until I read the line ā€œYou are the crawfish embarking on the pa...

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MƖRK BORG - Episode 2 - Psalm I

"How will you face these last days? Robbing graves for soil-stained wealth, or facing down the apocalypse, hoping it can be fought?"

We're back for another round of the grimiest RPG in the biz, MƖRK BORG. Featuring Ali Fisher, Christopher Hastings, Joe Lepore, and Branson Reese.

Refresh yourself on the previous episode 2023-09-27 08:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post

Rude Talks of Chatting Episode 67: Boy Do We Ever Have Such Sights!

Branson Reese, Christopher Hastings, and Tim Platt answer questions about the first 67th episode of all time and also "shoot the shit" about whatever madcap nonsense floats through their nimble minds. 

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Rude TAROT of Magic: Ace of Cups

"If you love the beach life, cruise life and everything fun in the sun, there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy these famous quotes by Jimmy Buffett.

This collection of best of Jimmy Buffett quotes will inspire you to live your life without regrets. While some Jimmy Buffett 2023-09-25 10:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post

Get Your Livestream Tickets Now!

Our first livestream in two years! You won't wanna miss it ;)

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Rude TAROT of Magic: The Chariot

According to Labyrinthos.co, the Chariot card means you have incredible willpower while the upside down Chariot card means you have bad willpower. I don't like that. I don’t like when an upside down tarot card just means the opposite of a right side up. That feels like a cop out to me. It feels very easy and I think interpretation should be a little…oh who am I kidding...a LOT more...

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Talkin About COUNTING CROWS with Ali & Tim

Two former enthusiasts and current not-quite-apologists take a walk down that nostalgic road where Counting Crows once reigned. An honest conversation where humor and heart find a home in lyrics like "I deserve a little more."

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Rude Talks of Chatting Episode 66: It Looks Like You're Trying To Save Your School

Ali Fisher (Cordelia, Carly Monardo (Albee), Christopher Hastings (Frederick Debonesby), and Tim Platt (Davo) answer questions about the episode where friends, family, and foes reunite in passionate conversation. 

Referenced in the Ep: The Great Illustrated Classics https://www.greatillustratedclassics.com/...

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Rude TAROT of Magic: The Emperor

Me: Yo! Did you see this freak’s chair? So tall and ornate! So cushioned and…perfumed???? This chair is insane! One day, I would like to sit in a chair like that!

You: I’m afraid there is no path for you to sit in such a chair.

Me: Huh? And WHY not?

You: Because to sit in that cha- to sit in that THRONE, you must succeed the current Emperor. And to do that, a ma...

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Rude TAROT of Magic: The Lovers

What are Lovers if not participants in that grand experiment: Love! But what is Love? 

Love is…well…amazeballs! 

Love is badass personified; The ultimate chiller, smacking down the enemies of awesome! 

Love is a Mom n Pop storefront but with a fortune 500 budget…and culture and building. 

Basically, Love is like a Venn diagram on steroids!

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Talkin' About HOSTING with Christopher & Carly

Christopher Hastings & Carly Monardo, through scientific study and emotional availability, have mastered the art(?) of hosting parties, get togethers, hangs, meals, holidays, and- now- podcasts about that. Listen to their tricks and tips! 

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Rude TAROT of Magic: Judgement

Imagine the end of days. Imagine a horn, a magnificent horn of Judgement, blaring a bawdy triumph with just enough sauce that you release your fearful wince to think ā€œis this supposed to have that much sauce?ā€ Just as you return to full bodied worry re: the oncoming evaluation of your soul, the song is cut mid-(what you later realize to be)riff. You look up to the cloud platform to see an a...

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Rude TAROT of Magic: Four of Cups

If ONE cup runneth over

then I’m grateful for my luck

If TWO cup runneth over

pal, I hope the drink don’t suck.

If THREE cup runneth over

might bigger cups be needed?

If FOUR cup runneth over?

My patience’s been exceeded.

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SLEEPVENTURE: THE BATHHOUSE

Even freaks gotta sleep. Get in here, stinky.

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Rude Talks of Chatting: Ep 65 Enter The Mother Pt 3

In a very strange episode of Rude Talks of Chatting, Ali, Branson, Joe, and Tim answer questions about the episode of the show where the status quo is forever shifted because now we know about a new Pepsi Brother. 

This clip will give you a taste of a movie mentioned early in the ep.

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Rude TAROT of Magic: The Fool

Ah, the mirror: The Fool’s respite. Whether on pond or glass or very dark car, The Fool turns reflection into a pantomime, a canvas upon which the Fool’s face paints with caricature and impression. I’m talking about making faces at yourself, for yourself. I’m saying that’s a thing fools do.

The straight stare of a Normal Mirror Lookerā„¢ cracks when they see all the bul...

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Rude TAROT of Magic: Nine of Coins

NINE OF COINS teasing the thoughts of a
SWEET MAN tortured by the FEES lost
TENENTS cutting the corners
PAY RENT, PAY RENT, cut, cut
On the fence, could not to offend
PAY RENT, PAY RENT
PAY these RENT CHECKS
Place them in MAIL box til a quieter time:
Lights down, you'll PAY YOUR RENT oh!

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TUESDAY

August 8th- Enter the Mother Part 3 (of 3)

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Rude Talks of Chatting: Ep 64 Enter the Mother Pt 2

Branson, Carly, Chris, and Tim answer questions about THE Part 2 with the Heart WOOOOOOO! 

That's right, it's the Part 2 with the Heart WOOOOOOOOOO. WOOOO like a scream. Like going down a water slide or something. Part 2 with the Heart WOOOOO. 

Rude Tales of Magic, baby! We do this to get nuts!!!

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Rude TAROT of Magic: Page of Cups

Here’s some lore: Davo INVENTED holes! That hole he fell in all those episodes ago was actually a callback* to the original hole Davo HIMSELF invented in a freshman seminar called ā€œInnovating Emptiness: Perspectives on Repurposing The Blank As Public Space For Collective Benefit and Solo Satisfaction.ā€ Davo was so fucking inspired and drunk as fuck that he was like ā€œwhat if the ground d...

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Rude TAROT of Magic: Five of Cups

Ah, the five of cups. One of the most famous cards in tarot. Most people learn about the iconic "five of cups" long before they learn about tarot, so entrenched is this image in popular culture. But the card is so much more than its Michael Jordan sized reputation would have you believe. It's actually a metaphor for when there are five cups. You see, people in medieval times didn't like when th...

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Cordelia & Stirfry Have BOTH Been To Rome?!

After the chilling & amorous mysteries of the Lindsingham Manor were revealed, Cordelia (Ali Fisher) and Stirfry (Tim Platt) walk through the Teenage Woods to have their first real conversation. 

Finally, after four canon episodes of divided purpose, both parties admit to each other that each has visited Rome, that ancient city known throughout Cordelia for its proximity to The V...

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Rude Talks of Chatting Episode 63: Enter The Mother Part 1

The Bran Man, Joey Baby, Dr. Hastings, and Fox Maniac answer all your questions about episode 63. And that's not all! They also, well, chat!

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Rude TAROT of Magic: Three of Coins

So, look. This one's a reference to Jesus Christ, the troll with an extra hole. He shows up in Rude Tales. Freddy even goes inside the hole. I just can't believe this is the card for this week. Like, imagine you just got into the show. Maybe three episodes in. And you're like "hey, I wanna support those guys, they seem sweet" and so you join the patreon. And then you're hit with this? What the ...

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ANNOUNCING: Our New Tiers!

Greetings one and all! We have some exciting Patreon news from the world of Rude Tales of Magic! We are introducing new premium Patreon Tiers: say hello to Gnome Gnobles and Big Freaks.

Gnome Gnobles replaces our original Elf Lord tier! This tier will be set at $25 a month, and come with the following ...

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