jimquisition

The Difference Between Charmingly Janky And Unacceptably Broken (The Jimquisition)

As a lover of so-called Eurojank games, I have a high tolerance for bugs and roughness - within reason. Also, contextually. See, there's a difference between a scrappy game that needs some polish but did its best and... Bethesda's track record of blatantly unfinished nonsense.

Podquisition 511: Swimming’s Secret Menu

A little encouragement goes a long way.

Games we played this week include:
Life is Strange: Double Exposure (08:00)
Metaphor: ReFantazio (21:30)
UFO 50 (36:25)
Nintendo Alarmo (59:10)
Starship Troopers: Extermination (1:07:20)

Starship Troopers: Extermination - The Only Good Bug (Review)

So I really, really, really like this one. I love Starship Troopers anyway, but I was surprised at how enjoyable Extermination was. It comes with a lot of caveats though, so if you CLICK HERE you can see all my thoughts!

Transformers: Galactic Trials - Cut n' Shut (Review)

A Transformers racing game isn't a bad idea. THIS Transformers racing game is an appalling idea. It's called Galactic Trials and it costs forty bucks despite looking and feeling like some mobile freemium crap. CLICK HERE for the full teardown!

Horror Games, Overexposure, And Silent Hill Spammequins (The Jimquisition)

Silent Hill 2 Remake is better than I expected, but while Bloober Team impressed me in some areas, its love of hackneyed horror tropes had at least one ruinous effect - it turned Silent Hill's Mannequins into Spammequins. Let's talk about monsters in horror games, and why too much exposure to them ruins their effectiveness.

Podquisition 510: Beginnings, Redefined

Can you believe such a catchy slogan could turn out to be so wildly inaccurate?

Games we played this week include:
Silent Hill 2 Remake (06:50)
Metaphor: ReFantazio (27:15)
Satisfactory (40:40)
Cryptmaster (45:15)
UFO 50 (55:05)
Spell Brigade (1:07:10)

Silent Hill 2 Remake - Just Put The Gun To Their Head (Review)

Here we are! People have been anticipating my review on Bloober Team's reimanining of Silent Hill 2 and the time is upon us! The game is... not bad? It's got some detrimentally bad stuff IN it, but the stuff Bloober got right is damn surprising. CLICK HERE ...

The Dilemma Of Ubisoft's Dilemma (The Jimquisition)

Ubisoft is in trouble. Sales are down, market value is down, investor goodwill is down, down, down. Ubisoft, quite honestly, deserves its straits and more, but the problem in wishing for that is how many undeserving people get dragged down as well.

The Legend Of Zelda: Echoes Of Wisdom - Octorok n' Roll (Review)

The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom is brilliant, as far as I'm concerned. You can make a squad of Octoroks and shoot the hell out of things. Anyway, I reviewed it rather glowingly, and you can get the proof of that if you CLICK HERE!

Podquisition 509: Respect the Glass

Don’t you dare question it.

Games we played this week include:
The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom (07:30)
Void’s Vigil (24:25)
Balatro (31:15)

Innovative Hardware Will Beat Better Graphics In Next-Gen Consoles (The Jimquisition)

The most exciting idea about the rumored Switch 2 specs is clipping the Joycons into the side with magnets. That is more important than fancy graphics, and I mean that. Just like the DualSense Controller and the Share Button are better PlayStation upgrades than Ray Tracing ever could be.

Podquisition 508: Porcine Pursuit

It’s been too long.

Games we played this week include:
The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom (08:50)
Earth Defense Force: World Brothers 2 (17:30)
Void’s Vigil (26:30)
The Plucky Squire (29:55)
Halls of Torment (33:30)
Serious Sam (35:25)

Earth Defense Force: World Brothers 2 - Getting Antsy (Review)

Earth Defense Force: World Brothers 2 is such a great game. It lets me play EDF in a way I actually like, for one thing. It's also packed with content and action as well as being wonderfully stupid. CLICK HERE to read my optimistic thoughts!

Halls of Torment - Stat's All, Folks! (Review)

I've been playing Halls of Torment's Early Access build for a while, but got my hands on a final version recently, so here is a full review of a very, very good Survive 'em Up with a Diablo aesthetic and a truly impressive amount of depth to its upgrade systems. CLICK HERE ...

The PS5 No (The Jimquisition)

Sony's shareholders want more money, so it's time for a hardware update! The PS5 Pro has been announced. It costs a stupid amount of money and it's a stupid amount of worthless. Let's take a big wee-wee all over it, shall we?

Funko Fusion - Intellectual Property Damage (Review)

Funko Fusion truly, deeply offends me, but it's provided me with a great example of what I've been calling the battle for context. This excessive exploitation of media licenses is getting out of hand, and the grab-bag of abuse "intellectual property" in Funko Fusion is a stunning showcase. 2024-09-20 12:49:23 +0000 UTC View Post

Podquisition 507: That Stings

We’re simply too enthusiastic.

Games we played this week include:
The Plucky Squire (04:55)
Satisfactory (10:30)
Funko Fusion (12:25)
Zero Zero: Perfect Stop (24:45)
Serious Sam 4 (28:20)

Is This The Most Insulting Crap A Game Executive's Ever Said? (The Jimquisition)

Former Sony Europe CEO Chris Deering has said some genuinely offensive garbage in the wake of the industry's awful layoff epidemic. His callous suggestions to those laid off include just getting over it and having a beach holiday, because from his perspective it isn't really a big deal.

And ain't that the problem? This is from HIS perspective, and an executive's perspective is absolutel...

Astro Bot - Adorobot (Review)

Good lord this is one of the best games ever. A delightful mascot platformer, a stim toy, a big nostalgia trip. CLICK HERE to see me praise the heck out of a Sony thing after all that Concord unpleasantness.

Podquisition 506: Dead To Us

Good riddance.

Games we played this week include:
I Am Your Beast (19:55)
Warhammer 40k: Space Marine 2 (27:40)
Leo the Firefighting Cat (47:55)
Astro Bot (50:45)

Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine II - World War T

Space Marine II is one curious game. It's both really fun and really frustrating. Entertaining combat and beautifully brutal visuals are marred by frankly baffling design choices and some glaring oversights when it comes to balancing gameplay across three different modes. I really like it, but have a lot of complaints, and you can 2024-09-10 15:54:54 +0000 UTC View Post

The Frustrating Contrast Between Concord's Failure & Astro Bot's Success (The Jimquisition)

Concord represents a new low for the "live service" goldrush, lasting only two weeks before Sony pulled the plug. Meanwhile, the same publisher just put out Astro Bot to joyful acclaim! One is a game nobody asked for, the other is a game people clamored for. Why do companies keep pumping their budgets into the former and neglecting the latter?

Because executives and investors are inheren...

Podquisition 505: Prolonged Concealment

Brought to you by lead.

Games we played this week include:
Astro Bot (11:25)
Gori: Cuddly Carnage (20:30)
Desvelado (39:10)
Squirrel with a Gun (40:45)

Gori: Cuddly Carnage - Toy Gory (Review)

It's a game I can't stop shouting about, a cute and utterly brutal hack n' slash game that reeks of the 2000s. Gori: Cuddly Carnage is an absolute riot, and you can CLICK HERE to read my rave review.

The Literal Doom Of Derivative AI (The Jimquisition)

Google researchers had their AI "make" a Doom level, and now they're claiming they have a game engine. It is arrogant nonsense, and it only proves how desperate they are to take jobs away from every type of creator they can.

It's particularly offensive to do this with Doom, since making maps for that game is a particular art form, and individual creators are regarded very highly. To trai...

Podquisition 504: The Coldest Open

Oh, you’ll never guess what madcap nonsense we got up to this time!

Games we played this week include:
All Will Rise (3:50)
Crypt Custodian (13:55)
Gori: Cuddly Carnage (19:30)
Butts in Space (32:25)
Concord (40:00)
S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2 (41:20)
Path of Exile 2 (42:00)
Date Everything (43:25)
Immortal (45:50)
Project Timmy: Sasha’s Curse (48:25)
Civilizatio...

Concord - Zero Shooter (Review)

I absolutely detest Concord, and while some of that isn't the game's fault, plenty of it is. Let's talk about a game so insecure about how derivative it is, it made things worse on purpose. CLICK HERE for all of that guff!

Fake Gamers And Their "DEI" Obsession (The Jimquisition)

Do the so-called gamers who whine about "wokeness" and "DEI" actually play or care about the games they claim to protect? Do they know the slightest bit about the medium they're prattling on about? Is Black Myth: Wukong good? Is Dragon Age: Veilguard "erasing straight people" with its gayness? All I know is, Gori: Cuddly Carnage is pretty great!

DOOM + DOOM II: Mod Off (Review)

I wasn't going to review this rerererelease, but I got pissed off by the ineptitude one too many times. Let's see how the clowns at Microzenithesdid ballsed this one up by CLICKING HERE!

I Played Valve's New Shooting Computer Game Called Deadlock And Have Opinions That I Am Posting Online

I played the controversial Deadlock and have some opinions, so what better thing to do than post those opinions online? Come with me on a very serious journalistic endeavor and CLICK HERE for more!