Colleen Hoover: well golly
Hoover: i don't know why everyone's so scared of lil' ol' me
Hoover: i'm just a girl, after all
Hoover: just a harmless girl
Hoover: i just love normal girl things
Hoover: like canning my own jams and fruit preserves
Hoover: wearing a gingham dress while churning butter on my family homestead
Hoover: and feeding my hungry hungry boys a nutritio...
Nora Roberts: ah here we are
Poe: nora? aren't you usually at the romance campfire?
Roberts: yeah but i wanted to bring you a new member
Poe: a new member?
Roberts: yeah meet colleen hoover
Colleen Hoover:
Poe: oh, uh, hi
Roberts: yeah she just wasn't fitting in over there
Roberts: so we thought we'd bring her here
Roberts: we thought she'd just fit in better with ...
That's right, we're going to tell you about Homestuck and YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN. (I'm actually not in this episode, my co-host Ethan flies solo with two guests... Jerna and Gertrude Perkins. Enjoy! It's Homestuck, people like Homestuck!
2025-12-01 05:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i want you all to say hello to graham linehan
Rowling: he'ss jussst a normal man
Graham Linehan: [wearing tin foil hat] trans free masons run the country!
Rowling: yess yess i know i wass ignoring graham for a long time
Rowling: i thought that hiss unhinged behavior and general repellentnessss...
It's a full moon, and Stephen King's evil alter ego, Richard Bachman, has escaped!
It’s the night of the full moon, and someone forgot to lock up Stephen King securely. Now Steve’s evil alter ego, Richard Bachman, has escaped! The Pals have no choice but to hear his murder clown hotel story.
CAST
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy Stephano king
Musk: itsa me, you besta friend elon
Musk: elon musk!
Musk: i got something to show you
Musk: you ever wanted to be the subject of an epic roast?
King: me? subject to an epic roast?
King: wow, that sounds like a lark!
King: yes, ac...
Beatrice Winifred Iker: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the demon at the HBCU
Lovecraft: what's a HBCU
Iker: it's a historically bl
Poe: oh no don't say it in front of howard
Poe: the abbreviation will do just fine
Iker: "don't say it in front of howard?"
Poe: yeah we don't want to get howard agitated
Iker:
Poe: you have to ...
This week, we look at the forgotten 1994 action flick The Shadow and find a surprisingly fun little romp, studded with absolute stars like Alec Baldwin, Penelope Ann Miller, Tim Curry, a young Ian McKellen, John Ione, Sab Shimono, Koop, Neelix, Bob the guardian angel, Willie...
2025-11-24 05:00:02 +0000 UTC View PostVery excited to receive my contributor copy of "Five Raging Hearts," a very cool new collection of splatterpunk shorts written in response to these dark time. It features stories by Wile E Young, Craig Brownlie, Judith Sonnet, Matthew L Reyes, and Roxane Llanque... with an introduction by yours truly, ie me, Bitter Karella!
you can find it at:
2025-11-23 06:16:43 +0000 UTC
View Post
Guillermo del Toro: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of frankenstein
del Toro: but
del Toro: this frankenstein is a little different
Bram Stoker: yes we know, guillermo, this frankenstein is hot
del Toro:
del Toro: oh
del Toro: i've mentioned this before?
Stoker: i'm so tired of all these hot, hot frankensteins
Stoker: fi...
It's the Fabulous Funnies -- a 1970s cartoon that adapts Alley Oop, the Katzenjammer Kids, and other beloved comics of the last century into the most boring, didactic series you've ever seen. The kids will love it, I guess. It notably does NOT include Tumbleweeds. Hmm. It's ...
2025-11-17 05:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostKing: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the running man
King: it's about a dystopian future where real people's pain is exploited for television ratings
King: you might even call it
King: reality TV
Koontz: wow! this sounds cool!
Koontz: i just have one question
King: what's that, dean?
Koontz: why isn't Pennywise in this? ...
Joe Hill: but if you think THAT'S scary
Hill: wait until you hear about the tale of the black phone 2
Hill: oh hero, named Finn
Hill: like Stranger Things!
Hill: is now in the 80s
Hill: like Stranger Things!
Hill: but get ready
Hill: cuz the sequel is going to be even more KING-ESQUE
Barker: does it take place in maine
Hill: NO
Hill: i mean that it harnesses the...
Stephen King: okay guys today my boy joe is going to tell a story
King: and we're all gonna give him our full attention okay?
Barker: sure
King: and we're gonna act like it's really great, okay?
King: because it is really great!
King: you'll love this story
King: now joe, he's a chip off the ol' block
Joe Hill: dad please stop
Hill: i need to find my own voice
Hill...
King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the
Elon Musk [rising out of bushes]: eyyyy stephano king Musk: itsa me, elon!
Barker: hey it's your pal
King: he's not my pal!!
Barker: look everyone it's steve's pal
Poe: that's enough clive
Poe: you're going too far
King: elon why are you here? shouldn't you be back at tesla?
King: you kno...
It's the Fabulous Funnies -- a 1970s cartoon that adapts Alley Oop, the Katzenjammer Kids, and other beloved comics of the last century into the most boring, didactic series you've ever seen. The kids will love it, I guess. It notably does NOT include Tumbleweeds. Hmm. It's ...
2025-11-10 05:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: submitted for the approval of the
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyyy Stephano king
King: oh criminy
King: this again
King: is there no one who will rid me of this vexing trillionaire
Joyce Carol Oates:
Oates: they should abolish same height marriage
Oates: temperature is just a theory
Oates: less cheese on things
Musk: eyyy she posta da crazy talk...
It's HP Lovecraft’s turn, so he tells a story about a town with a dark secret that is almost certainly “There’s a squid”.
It's HP Lovecraft’s turn and nobody can stop it, so he tells a story about a town whose sinister residents guard a dark secret that is almost certainly “There’s a squid”. Howard and Mary go head-to-head in a...
2025-11-07 18:44:57 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: hey guys guess what?
King: the blue wave is back!🌊🌊🌊
King: it's curtains for DRUMP!
King: end of the line for mango mussolini!
King: no more orange julius caesar!
King: i haven't been so excited since we finally defeated bu$hitler back in '09!
HP Lovecraft: now i don't usually pay a lot of attention to New york city
Lovecraft: that seething, ...
Clive Barker: hey steve where's your friend elon
Stephen King: he's not my friend
Barker: yeah sure so where is he?
Barker: haven't seen him allllll day
Barker: wonder what's up with that
Barker: sure hope he's not having a bad time
Barker: ha ha ha ha
[twitter headquarters]
Elon Musk: eyyyy itsa me, elon musk!
Musk: eyyyy New York you gotta electa cuomo to...
Brom: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of slewfoot
Brom: it's about this puritan woman who befriends a devil named samson
Barker: why's it called slewfoot, then?
Brom: because
Brom:
Brom: because fuck you, that's why
Brom: so there's this puritan village
Brom: and let me tell you
Brom: puritans FUCKING SUCKKKK
Brom: t...
just a helpful reminder
2025-11-03 18:00:13 +0000 UTC View PostSince I mostly only post Midnight Pals stuff here on my Patreon, I don't know how familiar some of you might be with my other projects. So you may not know that I also have a regular weekly podcast with my good friend Ethan! We mostly do it for fun, so I keep forgetting it's a thing XP Anyway, I figured I might as well also post that here, just so those of you who can't get enough of Bitter Ka...
2025-11-03 05:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostVivian Moira Valentine: [descending into frame on a black parasol] hello lovelies of the night!
Valentine: I've got a fun flirty little tale for you, as sweet and spooky as a dark chocolate truffle
King: wow! i don't know what this is, but i'm sold!
Valentine: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the shadows over ravenskirk
Valentine: it tak...
Very excited to announce that, in honor of the holiest day of the year (Halloween), Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals: The Podcast is BACK, with a special Halloween treat -- the pals finally get back at those bullies over at Clarion West! We had a long hiatus due to real world badness, but glad to finally get back on track! Give it a listen if you like to laugh, cuz I think this o...
2025-10-31 20:33:43 +0000 UTC View Post[at unicorn fuck club]
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy it'sa me, elon!
JRR Tolkien: elon musk?!
Tolkien: my word! I don't think we've ever had you at OUR campfire before!
Tolkien: you're usually over there with that
Tolkien: [grumbling] midnight society
Tolkien: it's just that you're usually hanging out with Stephen king
Musk: si, Stephano king anna me
Musk: we ...
Whitley Strieber: welcome back, grey wolves, to the dreamland with whitley Strieber
Strieber: the podcast that asks the questions the Bilderberg illuminati reverse vampires don’t want you to ask
Strieber: remember: the truth is out there!
Strieber: keep watching the skies!
Strieber: i want to believe!
Strieber: trust no one!
Strieber: today we've got a revelation that's g...
2025-10-28 16:00:18 +0000 UTC View PostJust a little announcement that I'll be at the One Year Anniversary for Sacramento's Bloodstone Books on Nov. 1. I'll be on a panel with cool authors like Tara Sim and Hironn Ennes! Check the link below for more info:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DPj8ZagAYvY/
2025-10-27 19:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostHailey Piper: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the game in yellow
Piper: what if there was a book that, if you read it, it made you go insane
Piper: but also it made you super horny
Piper: would you take that chance?
Barker: i don't know why you're even asking lol
Piper: look, has it ever happened that you find you've exhausted all th...
2025-10-26 15:47:37 +0000 UTC View PostCharlie Jane Anders: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the lessons in magic and disaster
Anders: sometimes having a relationship with your parents is difficult
Joe Hill: don't i know it!
Stephen King: what's that, joe?
Hill: nothing
Anders: sometimes a relationship w your parents is like being on the conveyer belt in the classic movie ...
2025-10-23 16:00:19 +0000 UTC View Post