Sir Kenneth Branagh: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of Sir Kenneth Branagh's Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
Branagh: it's the Frankenstein film most to the vision of its original creator
Branagh: me, sir Kenneth branagh
Branagh: and that means no igor
King: no igor? oh but you gotta have igor!
Barker: yeah we all love igor
Barker: he's...
13h
2025-10-20 18:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostDean Koontz: you know what you guys?
King: now dean you know you've got to say the words
Poe: oh it's dean, steve
Poe: let him have this
King: saying the words is part of the fun, edgar
King: besides he's got to learn sometime
Koontz: you know what guys?
Koontz: you know if i had to write a story set in any decade
Koontz: you know what decade I would set it in?...
Someone mentioned that I come across as warm in videos, so maybe I'll try making some video announcements instead of just typing them. Hopefully people don't get sick of my stupid voice lmao
I'm just super excited to mention that Moonflow (my book!!!!) got a mention in the new Charlie Jane Anders' column in The Washington Post!!!!
"“Moonflow” is both profound and prof...
Cat Voleur: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the story of the end of the world
Voleur: what if the world ended and you were stuck on a tropical island with your incredibly hot lover
Voleur: wouldn't that suck?
Voleur: wouldn't that just be the absolute worst?
Voleur: i mean, just imagine
Voleur: it's just you and your insanely hot lover
Voleur...
Scott Cawthon: i have big news about the new five nights at freddys movie!!!
King: there's a new five nights at freddys movie?
Cawthon: yeah! the kids will love it!
Cawthon: no way has the animatronic pizza robot fad died down!
Cawthon: this party ain't ever gonna end!
Cawthon: Five Nights at Freddys 2 is gonna be amazing!
King: wait, this is a sequel? i don't remember...
Jennifer McMahon: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the girl who gets kidnapped by fairies
Arthur Conan Doyle: ah yes yes yes
Doyle: as the resident expert on fairies and fairy behavior
Doyle: i can say that's pretty standard fairy behavior
McMahon: but then, after 15 years, this girl comes back
Doyle: oh my god an actual witness r...
Ryan Murphy: hey horror fans it's me ryan murphy
Ian Brennan: and I'm ryan murphy
Murphy: and together we're
Murphy: no wait I'M ryan murphy
Brennan: no no you're ian brennan
Murphy:
Murphy: ok wait i prepared for this
Murphy: [looks at hand, on which is written 'You are Ryan Murphy']
Murphy: ok horror fans so it's me
Murphy: reasonably sure i'm ryan murphy
K...
Muriel Eddy: hello dear readers
Eddy: are you ready for some delicious gossip about your good friend hp lovecraft?
Eddy: remember you heard it hear first
Eddy: off the record, on the QT, and very hush hush
Poe: no now Muriel, howard's a friend and we don't gossip here
Barker: shut up edgar i want to hear this
Barker: this tea better be hot
Eddy: oh it's hot
Eddy: PIPI...
M. Lopes da Silva: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of what if elon musk got killed
Aubrey Wood: ah yes what if melon husk got unalived, hypothetically, in Minecraft
Wood: lol just kidding!
wood: …. unless?
da Silva: what if elon musk got killed
King: siiiigh
King: oh if only
Poe: steve you can't mean that
King: no of course n...
David Sodergren: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the haar
Koontz: what's haar?
Sodergren: it's like fog
Sodergren: but more Scottish
Sodergren: and you know what they say
Sodergren: IF IT'S NOT SCOTTISH, IT'S CRAP!
John Carpenter: so this is story about the fog?
Sodergren: yes
Carpenter: well, i told a story about t...
King: so what did we miss?
Poe: well apparently the first amendment doesn't exist anymore
King: what?! but that's my favorite amendment!
Poe: wait i'm getting word that maybe it does
King: phew! that was a close one
King: glad that got settled
Bitter Karella: well well well
Karella: guess who's a big deal published author now
Koontz: who?
Karella:
King: she's ta...
King: boy that sure was a long and relaxing break but it's sure nice to get back to the campfire
King: [dusting cobwebs off campfire] sure hope nothing crazy happened while we were gone
JK Rowling: [in full SS uniform] ACHTUNG!
Rowling: JETZT SINGEN WIR ZUSAMMEN DAS LIED UBER UNSER LIEBER FUHRER ADOLF H. HITLER UND DEN SCHWEINDOGGENEN HUND
Rowling: jetzt mussen wir die finalishen...
2025-10-05 16:00:33 +0000 UTC View PostEdward Lee: hey broooo
Lee: it's time for a bros night out!
Lovecraft: oh no
Lee: we're gonna have so much fun, bro!
Lee: Jordan won't even remember his ex
Jordan Shiveley: sighhh
Shiveley: [plaintiffly touching framed photo] the void…
Lee: bro
Lee: bro trust me
Lee: once you see this place, you're gonna forget all about the void
Lee: we're gonna get ...
Jennifer Armentrout: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the scone of stone and bone
King: what's that smell?
Armentrout: oh you mean that garlic smell?
Armentrout: that patented Hellmans original mouth-watering garlic aioli smell?
King:
King: yeah that smell
Armentrout: that just happens to be my latest book
Armentrout: I've...
HP Lovecraft: before we begin tonight, i'd like to observe a moment of silence for the victim of gun violence
Barker: you mean victims?
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: no
Lovecraft: just the one
Koontz: which one?
Lovecraft: oh you know the one i mean
Barker: oh yeah we know the one i mean
Stephen King: you know howard
King: that charlie kirk
King: i hate to say it
Kin...
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i've just dissscovered a chilling transss conssspiracy
Barker: is this the one to allow slighter taller than average women to be department store clerks
Rowling: NO
Rowling: IT'SS NOT THAT ONE
Rowling: but that one iss real by the way
Barker: sure
Rowling: did you know that transss are, right now, Ruye Wiluplita w Reggrice ddelri...
2025-09-10 14:59:50 +0000 UTC View Post[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i want you all to give a warm welcome to graham linehan
Rowling: i've decided that it's high time we welcome him back into the mainssstream of the gender critical movement
Rowling: he'sss definitely very normal and not unhinged
Rowling: graham has been unfairly targeted by the police for attacking a t...
2025-09-05 22:04:47 +0000 UTC View Post[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: tonight i want to talk about the ssscourge of ssslightly taller than average department sstore clerksss
Rowling: when will we be free of thiss long national nightmare?
Kathleen Stock: a just question, my liege!
Rowling: in fact i [cell phone ringing]
Stock: your mobile is ringing
Rowling: my w...
check it out, my psychedelic trans splatterpunk horror novel moonflow debuts today! :D Here's a little taste of some of the mushrooms readers get to meet! :D https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/bitter-karella/moonflow/9780316581936/
2025-09-02 18:45:11 +0000 UTC View PostTabitha King: did listening to lou bega’s mambo no 5 incessantly on loop for hours help inspire you to write?
Stephen King: it did!
Stephen King: but why wound readers’ brain with words?!
Stephen King: when I can set their souls on fire with a slanderous mambo?!?
Stephen King: [rolling fedora down arm & popping it onto head in one fluid motion] ladies and gentlemen
Kin...
Stephen King: alright, time to get to work
King: gotta get some writing done
King: and that means
King: i gotta put on
King: SOME TUNES
[King rolls a fedora down his arm & pops it on his head in one fluid motion]
King: [flailing wildly] A LITTLE BIT OF RITA'S ALL I NEED
Tabitha King: [busting into room] NO
Tabitha King: [smashing record player] NO
Tabit...
Bitter Karella: well well well
Karella: guess who's got her debut horror book coming out next week
King:
Poe:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Koontz:
Karella: c'mon guess
King:
Poe:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Koontz:
Karella: it shouldn't be this hard
Karella: c'mon you know the answer
Karella: you know, the book MOONFLOW?
Karella: the novel that's "...
Edgar Allan Poe: ok guys so kind of a thing tonight
Poe: GRR Martin is coming over to talk
Poe: and i need you all to NOT ask him about finishing game of thrones
Poe: i'm looking at you clive
Barker: yeah i'm just gonna ask him
Poe: don't deny it clive, i know you're thinking-
Poe: oh
Poe: clive please don't
Barker: i'm gonna do it
Poe: it's rude
Barker...
[at space coven]
Hugo Gernsback: I've had enough of this!
Gernsback: for too long, my precious hugos have been besmirched by scandal and controversy!
Gernsback: but no more!
Gernsback: i'm taking charge now
Gernsback: no more chinanery!
Gernsback: no more shenanigans!
Gernsback: and most of all
Gernsback: no more clownish buffoonery!
[immediately slips on a banana ...
David Barnett: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of withered hill
Barnett: its about this woman who gets trapped in this weirdly horny british village
Barnett: for being too big a slut
Mary Shelley: lol no such thing
Edward Lee: bro
Lee: bro
Lee: where is this village?
Barnett: oh you wouldn't want to go to this village
Barnett: ...
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
John Boyne: dark lord! dark lord, help me!
JK Rowling: whatsss wrong?
Boyne: i'm being bullied!
Boyne: me! john boyne!
Boyne: author of the boy in the striped pajamas
Boyne: [whispers] a fable
Boyne: nobody has ever been as bullied as me!
Boyne: first the holocaust survivors bully me!
Boyne: then the gamers!
Boyne: now the tr...
Paul Morrissey: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of andy warhol's frankenstein
Barker: uh huh
Barker: was andy warhol involved?
Morrissey: why are you asking questions when you already know the answer
Bram Stoker: ugh are you going to make this one all sexy too?
Morrissey: i thought you approved of dracula getting sick from the blood...
Paul Morrissey: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of andy warhol's dracula
King: wow! andy warhol made a dracula movie?!
Morrissey:
Morrissey: yeeeeah
Morrissey: sure he did
Morrissey: that's the ticket
Barker: so exactly how involved was andy warhol in the making of this movie?
Morrissey: oh he was real involved
Morrissey...
JRR Tolkien: exciting news everyone! there's a new lord of the rings movie!
Tolkien: finally, it's going to answer that big question on everyone's minds
Tolkien: what was gollum doing?
King:
Poe:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Tolkien: everyone's always asking me, what was gollum doing?
Tolkien: people want to know, what was gollum doing while all that exciting...
2025-08-10 18:36:17 +0000 UTC View Post