SamuZai
Paradosi

Paradosi

patreon


Paradosi posts

September Monthly Prompt

I've been writing up new prompts for October. Sadako is one of them. All things spooky are welcome if you have something you'd want to see.

Wooing a Femme Fatale (Overwatch)

He had been surprised when middle management asked him to sign on a mission with Widowmaker. As far as he knew, she usually worked alone.

It paid very well, and considering Ta...

View Post

ASoBaH Poll #8 Tiebreaker

Arya still has the shadows haunting her dreams. 1000 Patreonbux to anyone who figures out who's sending them. :V

Robb's would be more grounded. But it's also an opportunity for me to drop some hints. With all the butterflies flapping around, expect the unexpected is the name of the game.

View Post

The Prophesized Hero of a Kingdom of Comically Evil Elves

The glare of the screen was a harsh mistress. It was three minutes to midnight and I still had maybe a third of the case briefing to write. And an early class tomorrow…

Same old, same old, basically. Not like law school had been my wet dream. But when your mom runs one of the top firms in the country, you already know what you’re doing since you learn your ABCs.

It could be wors...

View Post

ASoBaH Poll #8

The poll I mentioned earlier. We be returning to the north for one of the incoming PoVs.

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 40)

       Davos

Another storm had fallen upon them in the night, the sky above Dragonstone chased with thunder. He knelt in the sept as he prayed for the good fortunes of his wife and sons.

The Seven were silent as they always were, but he hoped they heard him anyway, their statues staring down at him with gemstones for eyes. He had h...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 39)

       Solomon

The last time he cared to look into a mirror, he could hardly recognize the thing looking back at him. He had become one of the things that went bump in the night, a horror movie pretending to be a man.

The last time… in the past tense as if he wasn’t still.

The color might have been returning to h...

View Post

Quick (ish) Update

It just hit me that it has kinda been radio silent on my end.

First things first, finishing up Solomon V right now. It might still drop late tonight, but most likely tomorrow. Solomon chapters tend to be chonkers.

The Prophesized Hero of a Kingdom of Comically Evil Elves is running late, I know. Who knew that pulling an entire world out of my ass on such a short deadline wo...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 38)

       Cersei

Her son sat the throne of the Kings of the Rock of old, a thing carved from a vein of gold that ran down the back of the cavernous throne room. He cut a dashing figure, a crown of antlers and shimmering rubies resting on his golden curls, only marred by a petulant frown.

She knew he wanted nothing more than to take th...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 37)

       Brienne

The cheers from the stands drowned out the world as the third tilt between Ser Morwyn Peake and Ser Ryamar Belmore began. One could even be forgiven for thinking the realm hadn’t been put to the torch with all the souls swarming the tourney grounds outside the King’s Gate, highborn lords and hedge knights from as far s...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 36)

       Asha

Volantis sprawled across the land like the fat wife of an old merchant one foot into his grave. No city she had ever lain her eyes on was even half as bloated.

The last time she had seen it, half of its vast harbors were in a state of disrepair. Now those harbors were swarming with the green and white sails of Volantene...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 35)

       Jaime

He lounged on the grand barge of the Merling Queen, surrounded by beautiful women of every stripe. It was every boy’s dream, and yet his heart was heavy and his thoughts troubled and fractious.

The bedamned peacock ruled in King’s Landing now, with Margaery Tyrell as his queen. His sister might have escaped the noo...

View Post

August Monthly Prompt

I'm thinking of having two votes for October. One with the usual suspects and one with spooky-themed options. #givingyourselfmorework

Wooing a Femme Fatale (Overwatch)

He had been surprised when middle management asked him to sign on a mission with Widowmaker. As far as he knew, she usually worked alone.

It paid very well, and considering Talon pa...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 34)

       Sansa

Having read the letter for a second time, she set it down on her bed, her thoughts troubled. While it read much the same as any other letter from Father, she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in her tummy.

Perhaps it was that her mind was playing tricks on her, making her see shadows where there weren’t any. Ever ...

View Post

OBSOLETE (left for posterity)

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 33)

       Eddard

The winds blew colder tonight than they had in nearly ten years now. The long summer was waning. Winter is coming, and none of them will see it.

He was the Hand of the King and yet he felt as helpless as a Flea Bottom beggar. Even now his silence haunted him.

If he had argued Robert down, he would have ...

View Post

My Pokémon Life as an Eldritch Abomination 4

I tried to act the very picture of a delinquent as Lusamine’s eyes cut into me like two chips of (very green) ice. Which was to say I had my feet kicked up on the table all cocky-like.

Meanwhile my thoughts were going a mile a minute as I tried not to stare at something else. That being the baby bump she was rocking.

Now, maybe I was jumping the gun here, but Lusamine was exac...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 32)

       Davos

Black Betha had been one of the first to return to Dragonstone, the storm having scattered the royal fleet across the narrow sea. Fury had returned next, his lord and two of his sons returned to him with it, though he only dared to feel relief after he caught sight of Lady Marya’s sails the day a...

View Post

ASoBaH Poll #7

Alongside a Davos PoV showing Stannis's response to Renly's ratfuckery, we'll be tuning back into the Solomon show in Dorne. Take the wheel, chat.

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 31)

       Cersei

It was not the first time that she found her dreams taken by the familiar sight of the Stone Garden, scents of old wood and damp soil tickling her nose. Though it had never felt as true as it did now, as if she were truly there.

“Solomon?” Her heart had ached when he spoke to her of leaving for Volantis, daring to...

View Post

My Pokémon Life as an Eldritch Abomination 3.5

       Interlude: Crazy Hot

Her eyes moved quickly across the screen as she looked for anything interesting in today’s reports. Nothing. The same as every day.

Lusamine eventually looked away with a sigh, nails tapping lightly against the wood. It hardly surprised her that they were still no closer to locating UB-06 Doppelgänger...

View Post

The Next Story Tiebreaker

I need to invest in cloning or AI. Then I could write all of these at the same time. :V

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 30)

       Jaime

His eyes had opened at the touch of the sun, the familiar scents of flowers and honey tickling his nose. Another clutched at his arm, still tangled in dreams.

It was the third night he had shared with the Black Pearl of Braavos, or Bellegere Otherys as he had come to know. Also the however many times removed granddaugh...

View Post

Vote PSA

The vote's ending soon and we've got something of a tie. Figured I would poke peeps.

Struggles of a Pale Orc (Original) 13

Magic Murder School (Original) 7

Harry Potter 13

Warhammer 30K/40K 12

My Pokémon Life as an Eldritch Abomination 10

View Post

July Monthly Prompt

If we get a situation where My Pokémon Life as an Eldritch Abomination wins both this vote and the next story vote, I'll just write an extra chapter for it.

Wooing a Femme Fatale (Overwatch)

He had been surprised when middle management asked him to sign on a mission with Widowmaker. As far as he knew, she usually worked alone.

It paid very well, ...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 29)

       Margaery

The sun caught on her garden as she worked, smothering every part of her with a gentle warmth. It had been queer at first to feel the wind on her skin where there was none, to feel the sun when she sat in the shade, but she had quickly grown to love it.

Even now she could feel every snip of the shears as if she was ...

View Post

The Next Story Poll Options

The other post is paywalled, so I figured I would do a non-paywalled version. I'll yeet this when the poll closes and make that one public.

Struggles of a Pale Orc (Original)

A guy gets isekai'd into... yeah, that's an entire tribe of very loud and very intimidating orcs surrounding him. Also just as confused as him. The culprit happily reveals herself as one of the...

View Post

The Next Story Poll

Concurrent with the other announcement. The original ones first.

Struggles of a Pale Orc (Original)

A guy gets isekai'd into... yeah, that's an entire tribe of very loud and very intimidating orcs surrounding him. Also just as confused as him. The culprit happily reveals herself as one of the goddesses of said orcs. Her answer to the orcs being slowly driven into ex...

View Post

A Dreamer in a Dream Hiatus

I was hoping the issue would resolve itself, but all that's done is constantly push the update schedule back. The truth is it's been taking me two or even three times as long to write a Dreamer chapter as a Blackjack and Hookers chapter. Who would have known trying to blend ultra solipsism and Elder Scrolls metaphysics into a compelling story would be hard? :V

My plan is to take some time...

View Post

My Pokémon Life as an Eldritch Abomination 3

Malie City felt like a slice of home. At least it did if I ignored all the Pokémon just hanging out or working alongside people.

The girls made for fun conversation also, but then a starving man would think anything a five-star meal. Rapp proved herself a follower through and through despite her spunky demeanor. And I was hot, sure, but the pinkette barely made a peep of protest even wit...

View Post

A Song of Blackjack and Hookers (chapter 28)

       Solomon

The locals oft liked to say that a woman's war was in the birthing bed, and that was true enough. Watching Cersei give birth was easily almost as bloody and at least half as loud.

Pycelle and the midwives performed their work dutifully, even admirably, but he wasn’t one to leave things to chance when he could stack...

View Post