Livestreams!!

Hi :) How long can a dissociation episode last? I had a bad one in front of my therapist the other day and i still haven't been able to totally shake it off.

Brittanyann

Hi kati 😊 Have you done a video on projection and projection identification? I've had a look but haven't seen any so wondered if it would be something you could add to your (I imagine incredibly long) list xx

Stephanie Mariam

Hi Kati I hope your well! I was wondering how to handle relapse of depression and anxiety when it comes to not being able to find work? I have now been unemployed a year today and I've been trying so so hard and am continuely knocked back and people aren't even trying to support me through this I've just recently finished year 12 and can barely get out of bed because I feel like I don't have a purpose (somewhere I need to be each day) and my depressions really good at reminding me of this every single day no matter what I'm doing

Chloe rawlins

OK, better. Dear Kati, why do you think a psychiatrist would tell a patient it is alright to kill yourself?

Steven Schlereth

OK, I just posted something and nothing is showing?

Steven Schlereth

Do you know much about the DNA testing for finding the right medication?

Leisha Arthurs

Thanks for the response!

Kayla Clare

Yes, it was very helpful! You are right about not being worried until we know more. I do not want to lose her. I've had 15 different counselors in the last 6 years and she is the only one I can truly open up to. You even said that it's looking better and I just want to have hope that it will. Thank you so much!!

Jennifer Hall

Just an update in regards to new therapy .Yesterday I learned about radical acceptance meaning when a trauma has happened instead of wishing it away or thinking of how it would have been if it hadn't happened you say it happened it is just something that happened...apparently this takes practice 😒

Jenny Hughes

Thank you!! :)

Sammi Lawrence

you can call CPS or the police yourself to report it. They will ask you the questions as they fill out the form.. school counselors can do it too (and they are actually mandated to do it) So I would bring it up with your school counselor. I would definitely talk to them about this.. and let them know your concerns. You could even see if they have another family member they could live with for awhile.. cause they will ask that if the report gets taken. xoxo I hope that helps! Oh and know that all states have very very similar rules/laws about this. xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope you get to see him again soon!!! I am so sorry.. but something we have to remind ourselves of is that our treatment team people are just that.. people. We get rushed, behind schedule, have our own stuff going on etc. Something I would ask you to do is to think through your session.. you didn't do anything differently or wrong.. right? You showed up like always and came ready to talk.. therefore we can know it wasn't you!! Sometimes a simple fact check can remind us that it's not our fault and we didn't do anything wrong or differently. He was probably just running late or had another patient emergency. I know that's put me off before! xoxo I hope that helps honey :) xoxo

Kati Morton

It's because an ED is really a coping skill.. and when things in our life can feel or be out of our control we control the only thing we know how.. our bodies, food, exercise, etc. In truth the way to recover from this is to learn to do other things to help us feel in control that aren't related to food.. and to find healthy ways to process all that we feel as a result (like journaling, talking to a friend, going for a walk, etc). xoxo I hope that helps and makes sense!! xoxo

Kati Morton

Of course you are allowed to ask!! It's your diagnosis.. and it's okay to say that you don't think the depression and anxiety really captures what you are struggling with. Also know that she probably won't say no, but will consider it and possibly ask you follow up questions to see why you think you have BPD. Cause like I have said before, only you know really how you feel. So speak up and know that even if she disagrees now, that doesn't mean we can't keep bringing it up when things happen that make you think it's BPD. xoxo I hope that helps!!

Kati Morton

I hope my answer on the livestream was helpful :) xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope my answer on the livestream helped :) Changing the way we talk to ourselves and judge ourselves can really change how we feel :) xoxo

Kati Morton

It is possible.. but we have to keep healthy boundaries for ourselves and if we feel ourselves getting pulled in too much, we may need to take a break and step away for a bit. Remember we have to take care of ourselves first, and this is actually a great time to practice healthy boundaries and also getting more in touch with yourself and what your mind and/or body is telling you about what's going on. If we listen our body tells us when it needs a break or when something has become too much. So yes we can support someone, but we are going to have to learn how to do it in a healthy way.. and that takes practice :) xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope my answer helped!! xoxo

Kati Morton

Hey honey! No I haven't talked about what makes a good therapist.. but I have added that to my list because I think that's a great video idea :) Oh and I don't actually take clients who watch me on YouTube anymore because it ruins the therapeutic relationship.. I need them to see me as just a regular therapist and watching me online for awhile before coming in makes it hard to have a healthy therapeutic relationship. xoxo I would put together a food and self care plan with your therapist this week.. I know one session isn't a lot of time, but I think it's enough to help you feel more prepared for the trip. I would write down the things you are worried about and then talk them out first.. telling her you really feel you need a food and self care plan for the weekend. She should be able to help you with that :) xoxo

Kati Morton

Hey Jenny :) It can be hard to start a new treatment especially if we really want/need it to work. I would just do some calming self talk, because there are other options out there, and if you don't like it or don't feel like it's working, not all is lost. It also takes us more than 2 sessions to know if something is going to work, so give yourself a break and the time you need to get a bit more comfortable. Since this is SO different from your last therapy experience, it is going to take you awhile to feel okay with it.. but know that that's normal and give yourself time. Also, bring this up in your next appt, so you can get some assurance that it's okay to worry about this. xoxo Keep me posted!! xoxo

Kati Morton

Great question! Flashbacks are replays of things that already happened to us.. it can feel like we back there and it's happening all over again. Dissociation is when we feel completely disconnected from ourselves and what's going on.. almost like we are watching ourselves (but this is in the present, not the past like a flashback), and psychosis is when we see and hear things that are not there. This happens in the present as well, and they are not based on anything that has happened to us before. It's almost like our mind makes them up.. I hope that helps!! xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope my answer was a bit helpful :) there is so much to talk about when it comes to this.. So I have added it to my list for monday videos :)

Kati Morton

No not at all!! That sounds a bit odd to me to be honest. When my clients struggle with dissociation, I am working to try and help bring them back safely... it almost sounds like your therapist is triggered or something. I would talk about this and even ask her why she thinks it happens.. cause I don't think that's a good thing. xoxo

Kati Morton

If we struggle with dissociation almost every day, I don't think mindfulness is appropriate. We have to be able to stay present enough to use the mindfulness tools, and if that's too triggering, then I think it would be best to work in one on one therapy first to calm our system down, and then try it again. Because it can be so helpful, but we have to be present in order for it to work. xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope my answer was helpful.. I know it's hard to acknowledge that we are struggling with something.. but the sooner we start talking about it and getting the support we need, the better :) xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope my answer on the livestream was helpful :) xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope my answer on the livestream was helpful :) xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope my answer on the livestream was helpful :) xoxo

Kati Morton

Of course!! happy to help :) xoxo

Kati Morton

Meet Up is great! I refer a lot of my clients to them!! haha!! I think the best way to find a group is to call treatment centers and ask them. It works if we call a treatment center that works with our diagnosis, cause they will have the best options :) For psychiatrist, I usually have more than one I give clients, so I would ask your therapist about another option. Also, I would give that one you called another shot. You can at least ask them for other names as well. It's honestly all word of mouth and referral based.. i know it's annoying, but by getting options/names that way will give us the best options. xoxo

Kati Morton

I hope my answer to this was helpful.. I know we are all worried, but until we know more I don't really think we can do anything. xoxo

Kati Morton

What is your opinion on taking classes that could be triggering for you? im currently taking a gerontology class in college (the study of aging) and my grandmother just passed away 3 months ago. I can feel the anxiety come up when we are talking about grandparents and stuff like that and I know if I drop it I won't graduate on time but at the same time I'm still grieving about it and I dont know if I should stay in the class or not. Thanks!

Sydney

Any advice to tackle fears of judgement? I can barely walk down the street because I'm scared a look or a glance off anyone that makes me think negatively. When I do tackle it I walk looking at the ground but then think that people are going to think I'm weird and spend ages worrying about that. I'm so scared of judgement how do you get out of this cycle?

Amy S

Hey Kati :) just wondering if you have any tips or suggestions for someone who is incredibly empathetic and highly sensitive but wants to be able to support a friend who just lost a second family member in less than a year? is there a way to stop yourself being pulled too far into their grief and getting overwhelmed by their emotions? I didn't know either family members personally but both times it has just seems to hit me really really hard, which makes it equally as difficult to be there for them. Thanks!

Sammi Lawrence

hey Kati, how do you get rid of thoughts that you aren't worthy of help for mental health problems? When I've tried to get help previously I've just been ignored or brushed off and it's led me to feel like shit most of the time because I'm already having problems with not feeling wanted and feeling like an inconvenience to my friends and family which leads my anxiety to rise a lot.

Beth McKillop

Hey Kati, a few questions... 1. Was watching the Friday livestream, follow up questions from one of the guests, would you take on a client who came from watching you on YouTube? 2. I was speaking with a friend, we've both have had shitty therapy experiences and we're trying to work out what makes a good therapist. We were kindof saying someone who has more life experience or just been doing this therapy stuff for longer. Especially in the UK we don't have the best services. I'm lucky that now I have an incredible therapist, after around 8 crappy ones, I had one who shouted at me throughout the session I laugh about it now... Wondering your thoughts on what makes a good therapist?Not sure if you've spoken about that before. 3. I have a family thing this weekend which I need to travel for and have to go, but dreading it and especially as a lot of it is centred around food and will only have this weeks session to prepare for it with my therapist, which doesn't feel enough. My eatings just been in the not great phase and I hate bringing it up with my therapist plus there's other things that seem to take priority... Ik this will make it worse, and I know that I'm being way more obsessive over my eating and it's controlling my suicidality and sleep. I tend to react to stressful/overwhelming events after so during I will be fine but when I get back I will go into another low, which I don't think I can handle now. I just don't need this now and it's all feeling really overwhelming and the traveling component isn't helping my anxiety.

Hailey

Hey Kati I have my second appointment with my new therapist she is trained in attachment based therapy. my question is how do you get mentally ready for therapy how do you work out the nerves ...I am really scared of this not working

Jenny Hughes

Lee McKenna

#KatiFAQ:Hey Kati, How are you? What are your thought / advice about the emotional ramifications of being adopted? I feel like I have all sorts of attachment issues as a result. Added to that the CSA I experienced in the adopted home my adopted parents were emotionally completely unavailable and dismissive. I’ve been blessed to have found my biological mum about 9 years ago and she’s really lovely but I feel like I can’t be honest with her. And truthfully there is a part of me that is angry that she gave me away starting a chain reaction of unspeakable trauma. But I also don’t have it in me to want to hurt her, and now I feel if she knew the truth about my childhood she will blame herself and carry around guilt that I do not want to lay on her. Being adopted I have always felt unwanted and unloved and I walk around with the biggest gaping hole in my heart stemming from the profound sense of abandonment and rejection. Please help if you can with your always on point and wise advice. Thank you, Karen

Karen Kotzenberg

Have you ever felt that a client's dissociation was impacting you personally? Sometimes when I am dissociating a lot more or a lot more severely my therapist has later told me that it made her feel dissociative too. She has said that when I'm "not in the room" it makes her feel pulled away from the room too and that its uncomfortable. Have you ever found dissociation to be "contagious" in that way?

Kayla Clare

Hey Kati, Just wanted to say Thank you for another amazing Live stream, by far the funniest one I have seen 😃, You are both awesome. Thank you so much for everything you do. xoxo

Emily

Thanks Kati for answering my question on YouNow :) It was a a bit of a random one.

Bridgette Hall-Smith

Thank you Brit <3

Bridgette Hall-Smith

I've started going to a mindfullness group, im finding really hard and think its activating my dissociation, making it more frequent. I thought this was improving my mood, but not thats all over the shop too. Is mindfullness appropriate in the treatment plan of dissociation?

Mags

My restriction question is about: sometimes I get where I just don't want to eat. I use to not eat at all, now I don't get hungry a lot. I don't want to get fat, I don't want to eat, some days I eat normal sometimes nothing. People will ask how long it's been and I think and it's been like 3 days. It's just, I'm not sure, I purposefully and sometimes literally don't realize I restrict. But is it an ED?

Manda Mandrell

Hoping to watch but I've had what feels like a really shitty day - and would love a shout out from you! Today was my last day in daycare - a job that I am extremely passionate about - because counselling really flares up my mental health, so decided to pursue my recovery rather than my passion! On top of that ... I also got sent home EARLY! cos of having a tummy bug! And now my head is pounding and am gonna listen in the background whilst I snooze! ❤ ya!!

Nicky Fitch

What should I put on a job application that asks about mental health?

Siobhan

Hi kati, is self harm covered under disability act in work? Can someone loose their job if the bosses find out?

Michelle

Hi Kati! Your videos have helped me so much & I finally became a supporter of yours on patreon today so yay! I am trying to think of a way to keep my question short and sweet but I am not really sure how to ask it without giving some background so sorry about the long spiel... So basically I was selectively mute since I was about 2 and all the way through highschool. I have worked really hard on my own and in therapy to overcome it and I am at the point where people who meet me now for the first time can not believe I ever was shy let alone had SM! But even with all of that I still often times find myself thinking of myself of that awkward human who can't talk. & if I get anxious or nervous in social settings, I sometimes find myself feeling the same way I used to where my words get choked up in my throat and I hate it. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this? Thanks for everything !!

Rachel B

IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY!! Hi Kati, is it normal to have a lot of different diagnosis? Anorexia, depression, GAD, social anxiety, body dysmorphic disorder and after last live show when I asked if Wellbutrin can cause mania, I now think I may have bipolar, and my life is practically a textbook version of borderline personality. I have been diagnosed with major depression, GAD, social anxiety, and panic disorder. I want to ask my therapist if she thinks I could have BP or borderline personality but I'm afraid she will think I'm making my symptoms up or that I "Want" to have these disorders. which if I'm being honest I kind of do. I don't know why, but I do. Depression and anxiety I don't think explains everything that I struggle with. I'm afraid that if I do get the balls to ask her she will say no. I am not able to leave her if I wanted to go to another therapist because of my attachment and abandonment issues. I really like her but in my gut I feel like its something more than Depression and anxiety disorders. I guess what I'm asking is, is it even possible to have all of these? how can I ask her? ( I did watch your last video and it did reassure me that I am ALLOWED to ask but now I don't know how). and is there a reason someone would want to have a worse diagnosis than they already do?

Brittanyann

Hi Kati :) hope you are well & recovered from your travels! My question today is about control. I've noticed a lot of people talk about their need to control their food intake other wise they would not be able to function/stay well/ they feel they will break. It's nothing to do with loosing weight/gaining weight, but instead just about feeling in control? Why does this happen and how can someone over come it? Thank you x

Stephanie Mariam

Hey Bridgette! Im of course not half the goddess Kati is on this subject but I wanted to let you know your not alone on this! I honestly have no friends because of it. I talk myself into thinking no one would ever want to spend time with me and if they did it's because they feel bad. PLEASE DO IT! I'm not an expert (OBVIOUSLY) but just start talking :) eventually you will find something you have in common and if it's an activity of some sort thats even better. You can say we should do that sometime. That way you are doing something that kind of distracts you from the akwardness. I.e shopping 🛍 If they smile or laugh and say yes or sure, then be proud of yourself. :) They want to do it! Or even a movie! You don't talk at a movie and then afterwards people usually talk about the movie, then by then hopefully you would get more comfortable. After the first few initial hang out it will be easy. just some of my thoughts!

Brittanyann

Hi! I was the person who asked how to help a friend who is in an abusive household on the Friday the 13th Younow livestream. 1. They are younger then 18 2. They know that what is going on is abusive 3. It's emotional abuse. How do you report emotional abuse? Should I talk to them about this? We're in VA and I'm not sure about the laws of reporting abuse and such, especially when it comes to school counselors. I already brought it up with my other friends but we're not so sure how to go about it. Thanks in advance!

OfficialLilac

Hey Kati! Yayyyy live streammmm!! I saw my psychiatrist the other day and I don't know why but he was just really rushed and dismissive, but he's usually really great. And so there's stuff that I needed to tell him but I just shut down and just thought I'd waste his time if I did. I guess my Q is how do you deal with that sort of situation? I just keep thinking it's something I did wrong...thanks heaps! ☺️

Tina

10:00 AM Saturday (officially today ha) and 10:00 AM on Monday! :)

Sammi Lawrence

Hi Kati :) This is going to be a random question and I hope it makes sense... I have exciting but scary news... I have found myself falling for someone in the last few weeks at work :) We occasionally catch up outside of work but the when we spend time together, I always feel like I am wasting her time or she is spending time with me because she feels obliged to. I also find it difficult to make contact with her outside of work or make plans or to catch up. I feel like I am annoying/pestering her and therefore 9/10 times I end up just not initiating conversation. It is a reasonably new friendship to begin with and we only met each other a month ago. She is already in a stable romantic relationship, which I 100% respect and do not want to intrude into. The thing is that I just genrally enjoy her company and I love talking with her. So really, my question is 'is this a lot of negative self talk towards myself?' And what can I do to feel ok just initiate conversation without feel like I am bothering her? I just thought I'd ask as I feel my outlook on the scenario is stopping me from making a really great friendship, (even though I am a totally smitten) :) Love to hear with you have to say!

Bridgette Hall-Smith

I was talking to my therapist about finding a psychiatrist. She gave me a number to someone and they never called me back. I am still currently looking for one and I asked her why it was so hard to find suggestion from others on the internet. She told me that therapist are not allowed to ask patients for reviews. Which explains a lot because the reviews I have found that people chose to do on their own are super negative. I went through my EAP at work but they are the ones that referred to my crazy weird psych.! What are some ways that I could find a psychiatrist and a support group? The support groups I have found are through NAMI but it looks like it is for low income/Medicaid clients and I don't qualify for that. There was also groups on the website "Meet Up" but it was a little sketchy or rather my anxiety made it seem sketchy 😜! I have also asked around to friends, my doctor and therapist but so far it's been like finding a needle in a haystack! Never thought it would be this hard to find someone.

Katie Borkowski

Nooooooo, I gotta sneak on the school computer lol. I am unsure, from Twitter, that if today's video is about Obamacare/ACA but maybe you could speak about it? Like what's going to happen to people like me who is dependent on their parent's insurance for therapy? I keep imagining the worst like not being about to see my social worker who has been the first person I can actually speak to about the hard stuff. I don't think I could handle that kind of change.. What can be helpful to do in this situation? Thanks Kati!

Jennifer Hall

Thank gosh for notifications ! Have no idea what that is in New Zealand time haha 😂

Brooke Hanrahan