Getting in over my head

Thank you Lauren for this topic and the wisdom of your experience regarding accepting one's 'new' self when we experience chronic mental or physical illness and aging. You've concisely summarized the main concepts: accepting your new self and grieving the loss of your previous self. Accepting that we need to moderate our activities to meet our new capabilities. It doesn't mean stopping our activities or interest, we just purse them at a slower pace.

For me, the best framing is to recognize that not comprehending my capacity leads to unpleasant feelings and worse outcomes due to prioritizing the wrong things and running out of "spoons" before getting to the good stuff. Failing to plan appropriately is just dumb, letting emotions like pride run the show. It's simply smarter to understand your abilities better and plan accordingly. Prioritization plays such a huge role in this, and framing it in terms of priority can make it sound less like a deficit or limitation because it leaves the door open to achieving more on some days when the stars align, and at least achieving the important things on days where there are more challenges.

Andy

I can relate to grieving a change in capacity. Now. I’m facing another change in capacity with aging. It’s helpful for me to think of it as a difference rather than a deficit. Thank you for sharing your experience!

I just wanted to say that everyone is different. Robin Cunningham, who went public with his schizophrenia after he retired, had gotten an MBA and went on to be a financial advisor, saving companies from being bankrupt. He had the career, the money, and the family that are beyond the average tokens of conventional success. I, on the other hand, was encouraged by my treatment providers to work part-time. That may or may not have been the best decision. Now, I am used to it. For me, life is fulfilling without a full-time career. In fact, I never wanted a career, because I always identified with the underdog. I have enough money to get by, and that is fine with me. Plus, my spiritual path gives me fulfillment. That is my main prop in life.

You're not alone in your insights because it's called life, and it brings challenges everyday for everyone that breathes. You're awesome!

Lauren, just yesterday I was thinking we hadn't heard from you in a while and worried a bit. And here you are today! And with something that can be applied to so many things. I've been struggling with aging change of capacity. What you said also applies to that. Thank you, very helpful.