Lil Dee

Padrona of Praiano part 2

while editing these, I realized that I enjoy the darker, more mysterious images. they have way more atmosphere...(takes note of this for future work)

also...something about these, for me at least, has the gravity of the ancient about them

to resist is to exist, another human experience:

I think I am resisting again, the flow of my life by not knowing who I am. I don’t align with identity, but perhaps knowing more of the self allows more solidity than being a wisp on the wind, always being set a drift by curiosity, experience, all idly in the mind—and all quashed by harsh demanding choice in a limited expanse of existence. To have purpose is a factor in identity,...

Feeling my Feelings?

for a long time my therapist would try to insinuate that I do not allow myself to feel, rather I rationalize my way out of feeling with logic; instead of just allowing the emotion to take over me, to take over the moment, and then allow that momentary feeling to pass. Like most things I find difficult, I tend to avoid them, that being my attachment style (anxious avoidant)...But struggling with...

The Feminine Urge Part 2, Look 2

something about finding your own aesthetic in the midst of societal screeching and influence, the struggle between the many ideas & forms of the feminine energy

Outlander

I recently got to spend some time in the Scottish Highlands for a project that involves my day job, and as an unashamed Outlander fan-I cannot begin to describe the happiness I felt frolicking in the mountains of Glencoe. Seeing the mountain range stretch out in front of me as I walked a long the stream, surrounded by the bounciest, softest grass I couldn't even imagine existed, was a healing s...

Blame

It’s not your fault. It’s mine for not knowing myself any better than I did years ago. I am no more myself or any less afraid to be, but I have stopped caring about identity having anything to do with my value or meaning. I embrace my chaos and to my best extent try to control it on a tight yet seemingly long leash.

I am banging myself around with should’s and...

Identity

It wasn’t so much about having to form a sense of identity, because I never had one, and knowing what I know now, I don’t need one. But you knew that, and you ate that shit up as a predator would: my emptiness, my possibility, my eagerness (or rather willingness, to please) what other people would confuse for naïveté was really unbridled existence and curiosity, love– and I didn’t nee...

Betrothed part 4

one more part to go ❤️‍🔥

Betrothed, Blurred Video Full

https://mediazilla.com/q3yWIO8F8d

Room Service part 1 of 3

69

As I said the number aloud, “69…” the worry shed off me like water repelling oil. The shame of thought burnt my cheeks as the realization hit me: not every person had the same trauma, the same over sexualized existence.

To some people, without the added sexual context or scenario to accompany it, 69 was just another number. Having to worry about reciting a series of numbers includ...

Over

I’ll give you up now

I wrote about my feelings (whether or not about the truth, is up to me) but your silence and position to distance says more and more by the day; that perhaps you really are the avoidant monster created from fear of scandal, love of the self always to be greater than—all (more evidence of the lack of love, it was just mine says the grief. The unwillingness brought ...

Untamable Wilderness part 2

if anyone draws from these, please tag me! I'd love to see how you draw the surrounding foliage and flowers 🌼

Sit Like a LADY !

Unknown Recipient, 2

Whenever I am summoned against my will to present myself to you, prostrate myself at your door**

**(instead of door read: dm box filled with countless others YOU are trying to possess, not the other way around,((you won’t by the way, I am rare, but in a stupid way.))

for your approval? Attention (though never given) shoul...

Upcoming Looks + a cute booty pic

there is one look that’s missing, but I guess that one will be a surprise!

the goat farmer part 1

you'll see...there will be 4 parts to this one!

Watching the Neighbors

In all the chaotic unfolding of life, I thought I saw you, in the thick of darkness, a stark pale figure. Same glasses, same stature of paunch, exact outline and hue of receded hair. You were with a dog, off leash but under your control. A real bitch, finally! One you always wanted, obedient, timid, but beautiful, with no hint remaining of self.

As I gazed o...

Sticky Situation

the violence of self betrayal

Unknown Recipient: part 1

I am spiraling out of control and I think that acting in equally chaotic ways makes me feel like I am in control of the chaos in my life, but in reality I am just giving into chaotic patterns in an effort to stop the change that is necessary to grow, the stress and force of it molding me into myself, but the unknown qualities of it terrify me. And so I pick patterns that are equally chaotic but...

Perception & Perspective

Perspective shifted when I realized someone didn’t have to be wrong in any given conflict. Fault could be shared into divided work, something to create more union in the shared effort of relationships. That there is truly an infinite number of possibilities per person. That our feelings are indicators of connection and compatibility, and not universal right or wrong. There is alway...

the shadow man part 2

Bluey Party

allowed me to play dress up as an adult 🫴✨

Which led me to the thought that there’s been a trend— having to deal with censorship online has led me to be more clothed in many of my posts and photoshoots, but there’s an aesthetic that I enjoy with more wardrobe as opposed to less, more layers to play with and peel back, and more to tease~

Mistake!

I moved one of the novel tier sets to sell, thinking it would show up for novel tier members AND for purchase for free members, but it only shows it to one or the other! SO if you are experiencing any difficulties at all, please reach out to me and we can work it out together! :)

24HR DOG part 1

Padrona of Praiano part 1

The Feminine Urge part 1, Look 2

What does it mean to be woman? A subjective idea to be sure and in an infinite (unimaginably so) array of variation, meaning, feeling, appearance.

Singular to one’s opinion, and yet so readily demanded and dictated by so much external noise,

influence, pressure.

Woman.

Molded, kept, trimmed and not allowed to spread and g...

Expression Study

In case you’d like to practice or do a study of some different facial expressions ♥️

Parisian Nights part 2

Heart Sick;Lover Boy

Happy UnValentine's Day 💔💢‼️