A/N: Quick little 2:30 A.M. chapter. I got caught up working on this one and didn't get to the Double Shopping Bag oneshot... But it'll be up tomorrow! Triple cross my heart and hope to die. For real this time!
Chapter 6
Runaway Heiress
Rain was falling. It always fell here, pelting the ground and turning it too ...
2025-07-05 09:30:44 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: For Double Shopping Bag folks, the June oneshot is almost completed and will be going up tonight. I'm also aiming to get the next Missing-Nin chapter done today, before moving on to MODLOW and Dark Days over the weekend.
Chapter 34
I Want You
“I was a lonely child,” Apolline said.
She lifted her ha...
2025-07-04 21:38:30 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 7
On the Way to School
“That portrait by the door is kind of impressive,” I said. “Even without a mouth she still manages to raise a fuss.”
Tonks pulled me through the doorway into her room. By Grimmauld Place’s standards it was pretty cheerful, meaning nothing inside of it looked like it could kill or mutilate me. Tonks had ...
2025-07-02 03:09:44 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 28
Celebratory Recreation
Fleur’s tongue was pressed inside of Harry’s mouth. She was sitting next to him, her breasts squashed against his shoulder, kissing him fiercely. At the same time, naked in an almost fetal position, Narcissa lavished oral love onto Harry’s cock.
She went halfway down him, dragged her head back up, and re...
2025-06-30 06:11:40 +0000 UTC View Post
I'm going to start posting some of my old original stories that have been rotting in my drive , and working on them in my free time as a hobby. I'll be posting them on Royal Road, and I plan to start a second SFW Patreon as a cover story so that I don't have to tell strangers I write porn when they ask!
I'm only going to be doing a couple short chapters each week so that it doesn'...
2025-06-28 06:27:44 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: This one took a long time. I did a poll for Double Shopping Bag members a while ago asking if people preferred longer chapters even if they were slower to come out, and most people voted for increased length, so I've been trying to write longer updates when I can.
This one is over 6k words, while some chapters for this story are 3k, so keep that in mind when...
2025-06-28 02:11:38 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 5
Kurotsuchi of Iwa
The night got very loud from there. Naruto didn’t mind. Loud was his element.
“—and then my third mansion will be in Mizu no Kuni, right on the beach, and it’ll have boats and an aquarium and — get this! — waterbeds in every room. With fish swimming inside of them!”
The man that Naruto had corner...
2025-06-26 09:24:47 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: I was initially going to have a smut scene at the end of this chapter, but that was too much. It's already a long one as is. So I moved that part to the next one.
Chapter 32
The Gurg
“Zat giant eez serious,” Apolline said.
“Seems so,” Harry muttered. Despite sounding nonchalant, his head...
2025-06-24 09:42:22 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 4
Raining Feathers
Naruto tore into two turkey drumsticks, wielding one in each hand and switching between them. Plates were scattered around him piled with bones. Some were stacked three plates high, and there were at least ten plates total on his side of the table. Kurotsuchi had just two on her side. She watched him with a look bordering ...
2025-06-21 06:30:14 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: With this one done, that's two of the three that I lost and had to rewrite. Only Missing-Nin chapter 4 is left.
Chapter 32
Chief
“I’ll kill you!” hissed the Death Eater.
The only one of the attack squad that remained conscious, he still didn’t look good. Harry’s statue had the man in a fierce...
2025-06-19 06:23:05 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: The original version of this chapter included the orgy, but while rewriting it, I shortened it a little bit because I really wanted to get this chapter up in one day. I know that's a little annoying, but on the plus side, it'll also let me expand the orgy and make it even longer.
Chapter 27
The Free Man
Corban Yaxl...
2025-06-17 08:45:57 +0000 UTC View PostI'm home! You might've noticed my untimely (but fortunately temporary) demise over the last week and a half. I mentioned that I was going to Virginia to help my grandparents move, and that's true, I was! I also said I had chapters prepared ahead of time, and that was true. Unfortunately, when transferring airports, tragedy struck. They lost my checked bag-- including my laptop.
I...
2025-06-17 01:12:03 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: I might add a Percy/Tonks scene to the end of this chapter when I post it on the public sites. I can't tell if I want that scene at the end of this chapter or at the beginning of the next one, and I won't really know until I write the next chapter. Either way you Patreon folks will get the scene at the beginning of Chapter 7.
Chapter 6<...
2025-06-06 08:40:53 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: From Friday this week through next Sunday, I have to travel across the country and help my grandparents move from their house into an assisted living community. I've done (and am still doing) my best to prepare some chapters in advance, hence why updates have been pretty slow for the last week-ish, and I'll try to write while I'm there when I have free time, but ch...
2025-06-05 05:32:36 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 30
The Ball
The band’s first song was a somber one full of droning notes. Under hundreds of eyes, the champions began to dance.
Harry tapped his foot to the beat under the table, rolling his head side to side. Madame Bones and Professor Sinistra sat to the sides of them, but they hadn’t spared a glance for the dancing champions. Th...
2025-06-02 20:57:02 +0000 UTC View Post
A/N: This one took way longer than planned, so sorry about that. I knew basically how I wanted to end the chapter, but kept going back and forth on the best way to get there.
Chapter 26
Allegiance
There were still lingering flames, but Harry felt cold. Cold and numb. Blood dripped from the fingers of his mangled left ha...
2025-05-31 00:41:00 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Yes, Stinkitus is a real medical condition from the Harry Potter world. I wanted to use Spattergroit because the name is fantastic, but Spattergroit lasts for months, so alas it didn't make sense as a short-term excuse.
Chapter 30
Sick Leave
These days, due to their sessions reviewing his memories, Harry visited Du...
2025-05-28 08:19:49 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 5
A Very Different Percy
I swung my hand. My new wand swung with it, cutting through the air. At first I thought it made whoosh-ing sounds, but after further investigation, I was confident that it was more swish-y.
“Careful!” Ron yelped, shying away. “You’re gonna poke someone’s eye out like that!”
A...
2025-05-26 07:50:19 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 29
Office Hours
Behind his desk, Harry’s head was tilted toward the ceiling as he sat, lost in thought. Lesson plans were spread around him but he had something else on his mind. Unconsciously, Harry’s fingers brushed one of the drawers of his desk. Deep inside, protected by a rather nasty defensive enchantment, lay a chunk of Voldemort...
2025-05-23 22:00:45 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 25
Here Lies Godric’s Hollow
Thirty minutes before.
Fleur brought the slice of golden toast to her lips and bit, relishing the crunch.
When she first arrived in Britain, the food had been one of her greatest enemies. It was not exactly inedible, but so often their English meals were overly heavy, and they lacked ...
2025-05-22 18:39:51 +0000 UTC View Post
A/N: Naruto fights are so fun to write.
Chapter 3
One Hell of a Massage
Billowing ash exploded into the air. At first it shot in an aimless column. Then it spiraled, reaching like an arm to grasp its target. The girl spat ash for fifteen straight seconds, only cutting the stream when there was a small mountain of...
2025-05-20 08:27:24 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 29
Yuletide Fun
Winter fell over Hogwarts like a comfy cloak. Students added layers as they roamed the halls. The Beauxbatons delegation shivered at all hours and complained of the dreadful chill, while the Durmstrang students marveled at Britain’s warm climate. Quietly, a small clandestine group was working dutifully on preparations for s...
2025-05-18 05:10:28 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 28
Never Too Old to Learn
Harry’s office was a quiet one. Near his classroom, in an area of the castle that didn’t see much traffic, Harry enjoyed the space he’d been given. He liked how quiet it was. Plus, he got enough guests to keep it from feeling lonely.
“She’s at it again!”
“Hello to you too,” Harry said, sm...
2025-05-15 19:33:41 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 24
Good Investments
“So? What’s your plan?”
Harry finished pulling his shirt over his muscled torso and looked back. “Who says I have a plan?”
Daphne sighed. She set down her wand, which she had been using to clean herself of his remnants. As she fixed her dress, moving the straps back onto her shoulders, she said, “I...
2025-05-14 07:43:29 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Reminder, the length of these chapters in longer than my usual chapters because I'm trying out something new, so when diving in, expect something as long as two Professor Potter chapters. Enjoy!
Chapter 4
Necessary Purchases
It turns out, Luna was the only one from the group who wasn’t staying at the Burrow. She was a neighbor, a...
2025-05-13 06:32:15 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: My plans for this one include equal parts sex, shenanigans, worldbuilding, and eventually a serious plot. Oh, and don't forget some good action along the way.
Chapter 2
My Big Mouth
“Cacaw! Cacaw!”
“Five more minutes…” nineteen-year-old Naruto Uzumaki mumbled.
He waved his hand, trying to fend...
2025-05-10 07:14:16 +0000 UTC View PostChapter 35
Haven
“Peeeeeercy! It’s really you Peeeeeeercy!”
“Grover?” I said.
“Yeah?”
“I get that it’s exciting. But can we move past the poking?”
“Sorry.” He stood up straight. He looked more like how I remembered him now, just an older version that stood about six feet in height. “It didn’t start...
2025-05-09 20:00:17 +0000 UTC View PostA/N: Squashies didn't exist until the 2010s, but I wanted a quintessentially British treat and they're the only one I know, so I just kind of rolled with it. I hope you can forgive me.
Chapter 27
Field Day
By the time they had their wands returned and were released from the Ministry cell, it was extremely late. D...
2025-05-08 05:41:22 +0000 UTC View Post