Suffice it to say this approach for posts-- doing it when I'm in bed, committed half to sleep and half to wake-- has been working for me. It's an appropriate intersection between having the energy to type out thoughts, the focus and time to do so, and the honest feelings to fuel them.
Gee, when I put it like that, no wonder it's kind of my most reliable writing conditions.
I've never been entirely satisfied with the way people talk about dreams.
Oh man, I'm one sentence into this post and the word "dream" has already lost its meaning to me a la jamais vu.
Firstly, the word has two meanings: the hallucinations we experience when sleeping, and the lifelong ambitions we hold close to our hearts.
Conceptually, I do not like this conflatio...
2025-11-15 03:15:57 +0000 UTC View Postso I've set down, in quick succession, some of the biggest insecurities I could think of
and for some reason I haven't caught fire yet
so that's nice
I can't say I'm Fixed :tm: but it feels like the internal pressure is much reduced.
like... everyone (You !!) has been generally supportive. because, duh.
some of these things, like the posting cringe aspect, still need to be...
2025-11-12 19:18:46 +0000 UTC View Postthe wheel that i am always spinning myself in, though, is this
with any of these projects, i just have to write it
and i have a lot of text and note files
but not enough up until the end of the game-- outlines, sure, but not the detailed writing
so oughtn't i just finish that detail?
but the problem i have is that whenever i get a certain distance in, i lose grounding. this is...
2025-11-04 18:39:48 +0000 UTC View Postand then there's the brand of insecurity that is just
[ID: A meme featuring a person sitting on the edge of a cliff which is labelled "idea". In the middle, there is a gap labeled "Being cool", and on the opposite side of the image an object sits on a second cliff labelled "Results". In a sec...
2025-11-02 22:05:16 +0000 UTC View PostI want this to be like, I am working and you pass by.
And you look over my shoulder and see something interesting and in an unspoken moment of "hey what's that?" I can scooch aside and be like "oh yeah come check this out"
But the reason I don't ultimately comes down to fear
I am afraid that if I do I will somehow ruin the game for you
I am afraid that sharing...
Since I always choose to use the energy I have to actually work on development, I'm gonna try a different style of post.
I'm laying in bed writing this, not quite having mustered the force of will to get up and begin the day.
Maybe I write this over a few days. Maybe I can speak more candidly this way, or maybe it will motivate me. Or be a better use of time.
Or all of the above.
earlier this month we celebrated kyra's 21st birthday. she was well-groomed. her kidney issues were under control. i gave her extra treats and love. she'd been so snuggly lately.
one night last week she started throwing up repeatedly. her breathing was strained. her coordination, suddenly staggering. we said after the fourth time, that if it happened again we should take her into the vet....
2025-07-25 00:52:01 +0000 UTC View Posthi. not dead. been meaning to write sooner.
i've been meaning to write sooner for about three months now tbh.
the problem is that every time i'm like "i have writing energy", i have to choose between either using the energy to post here just to say that i am in fact still truckin', or just doing the aforementioned truckin'. i tend to choose the latter.
the substance of the trucking...
2025-07-12 18:16:37 +0000 UTC View Postwe have achieved Roommate and thus our living situation is, for the first time in about a year a half, something resembling relatively stable
hallelua
as always, thank you all for sticking through it <3
cass and i are still cooking and i want to continue to cook before i start sharing more directly.
but i do feel like i have something i never have before, a fully customiza...
2025-04-10 18:05:49 +0000 UTC View Postfinancial stability continues to elude us (we have been full no-contact ghosted by three roommates in a row now),
however,
we are schmoving
i don't think development is going fast,
and i don't have any particular milestones to show off
but what i can say is that i currently feel the best i have about it since the end of reborn's development
so firstly, i have this ...
2025-03-05 05:32:21 +0000 UTC View Posti'm getting through the current events.
i think they might be impacting my mood and function.
either that, or i'm simultaneously so resilient as to be unaffected by them, while also being so fragile that i am actually just using them as an excuse.
jury's still out on which of those is more likely.
i'd be lying if i said if i said my work was at all focused.
there has...
wanted to hold off on posting kuro until last to preempt any expectations that other protags would be changing more too
general id for the blind audience, all of the images in this post are graphics for a protag, i don't think there's anything i can say here to make this meaningful for you all, sorry friends
kuro is, in my opinion, both the least popular and least appealing protag. ...
2025-01-10 13:38:29 +0000 UTC View Posti dont have a post i just have an image or two, i'll have a post tomorrow* bye
[image id: a before and after comparison of reborn protag decibel]
2025-01-05 00:57:42 +0000 UTC View Posthey okay good morning we are here on the last day of 2024 where did the year go
with regards to the prior writing, there has been a slow trickle of encouragement and positive comments about it which has meant the world to me. thank you so much <3
with regards to the new project, i've been trying to make sure i'm writing from a place of genuine passion as opposed to oblig...
2024-12-31 21:58:45 +0000 UTC View PostSweet Cyanne,
Did the Gorgon blush to see you?
Did ...
Sweet Cyanne,
I am certain I am being haunted.
Could it be your spectral soul in there,
Looking back at me as I at you?
By now the servants have stopped k...
Sweet Cyanne,
How curious it was to me that the entirety of my mind could be possessed in
1.1 by 5 cm
Of your littlest, orphaned digit.
And who among the elder titans even--
Rodin, Canova, Duchamp, Berini,
Those many names my dad hand-drilled into my soapstone ...
we will do this in parts. it'll be more fun that way.
i'm only going to include this in the first part, but it will apply to all of them that i post here: trigger warning for arachnophobia and sexual assault.
what i will be posting each day for a bit is a relatively spoiler-free excerpt, a series of letters that may be found in a room empty, save for cobwebs and a single statue buri...
2024-11-28 18:53:39 +0000 UTC View Posthi loves
i'd be lying if i said i hadn't spent most of the month hard-Coping. finding the focus to write has been challenging. aside from the political climate, our situation still isn't exactly stable. we're looking to pick up a roommate to make house payments, but there's a lot of housework to do before then in terms of presentability and safety, so most of my effort this month has gone th...
so this is rough, and i'm still coming to terms with it myself.
the extent to which this was decisive was unexpected, right?
i mean, everything is an information bubble, but the polls showed a lot of promise, didn't they?
is there anything she could have done better?
is there anything he could have done worse?
does it even matter if it doesn't reach the tons of people who were ...
happy halloween friends~
I continue to quietly work forward, but i'm not quite ready to share a bit more yet, so in the meanwhile, have this.
lucia was actually the first i did. i lik...
2024-10-31 21:28:19 +0000 UTC View Postokay so patreon is doing this really cool thing where the text is black and the background is black
here is a screenshot of the above line being typed already so you can see what i mean:
i can see the text if i highlight it. but.
this is not helpful, guys.
so anyway i gu...
2024-10-18 19:49:27 +0000 UTC View PostI've written 3.4k words today. Some more the day before last. And yesterday was just an emotional rut.
I think this two-hours-a-day system has run its course.
I've been closer to every other day lately, and less productive over all, I realized, since it set in somewhere partway through September how financially uncertain our situation is.
(Here, I'll add a continued note of thanks...
1.3.
The week has been a struggle and it is not a triumphant return to word count. But it is one.
A second pass at editing was had, and I have adjustments to both text and process to make. I am still calibrating there, but in the meanwhile, I haven't been idle.
I've been doing a healthy bit of spriting instead, nice for a change of pace-- less interesting, but more relaxing than c...
2024-10-08 00:43:36 +0000 UTC View Post2.4 today.
Yesterday I ended up just spriting instead of writing. Just a little sidetracked on a littler project for Reborn. Oops.
Oh, but who am I kidding, no one here wants to hear about Reborn things...
Actually, it has been nice to be able to have that to go back to and poke at from time to time.
My relationship to the project is quite different now that I have something...
Yesterday became a "break" day on account of 19.5.0 finally being put out to public!
If you haven't already gotten in on it and you're itching for some more Reborn, now's a good time... Here's a thread.
Writing-wise, today became a planning today. I've been ha...
2024-09-30 21:50:18 +0000 UTC View Postfew days ago, finished the prior scene.
then i broke. ...breaked? took a break.
though the first thing might be accurate too, i had a Rough day in there.
1.6 yesterday.
2.8 today.
meant to post again sooner but both of the last days i expected to write more than what i did in the first session and then post after that. and then i didn't actually end up doing that.
oh well.
2024-09-28 19:53:15 +0000 UTC
View Post
4.4 between today and yesterday. Mostly today-- yesterday I tried a couple different times to write, and wasn't really up to it... so I took a tactical retreat, slept on it, came back raring to go today.
Though I'm glad I gave myself the chance to try yesterday, what I did was definitely more effective than abiding strictly to my two hour minimum.
Far be it for me, the person who 2024-09-24 14:27:37 +0000 UTC View Post