Rude TAROT of Magic: Eight of Wands
The catapult is so much larger than its missile. Yet the missile travels farther than the catapult could possible imagine. Strange...
2024-07-15 09:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
rudetalesofmagic posts
Bears! Part 3 Bonus: Oh No! A FIASCO fell in my Honey Heist!
For a special peak behind the BEARS! The Blessing of the Obelisk curtain, we present Tim's instructions for Part 3, incorporating some rules from the game Fiasco by Jason Morningstar. Jeez! You let a guy DM the podcast for two episodes and suddenly he wants to run a second game?? The nerve...
2024-07-09 21:05:43 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: Four of Wands
If an album were a religious service, then each song be a prayer. If a single were a religious service, then I would have to guess that a chord change be the prayer or something.
2024-07-08 14:07:21 +0000 UTC View PostRude Talks of Chatting- BEARS! The Blessing of the Obelisk Episode 2
SPOILERS FOR THE ACOLYTE & THE UNAIRED NEW SEASON OF ANDOR
Tim Platt and Christopher Hastings answer YOUR questions about Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk Episode 2! They talk animals, games, AND how they doin'.
2024-07-01 18:27:30 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: The Star
The STAR of ONE franchise becomes the "special surprise guest appearance" of another. Doesn't that break your f-ing heart? I know it does mine...
2024-07-01 14:54:08 +0000 UTC View PostOpening Monologues for BEARS! The Blessing of the Obelisk Parts 1 & 2
Below are the opening monologues for BEARS! The Blessing of the Obelisk Parts 1 & 2.
PART ONE
Thank you, Grave Freaker.
My name is Tim Platt and I’d like to talk to you about 300.
Ah, 300. What is 300?
It’s half 600, and twice…30, I think?
But 300 is more abstract than that. 300 could be anything.
To me, ...
2024-06-26 16:11:02 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: The High Priestess
Who gave the Priestess an edible!?!?! I'm joking of course. The "high" in the card means something different. I was just trying to impress you.
2024-06-24 11:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostRude Talks of Chatting- BEARS! The Blessing of the Obelisk Episode 1
Tim, Chris, and Joe talk the talk about why obelisks, why obelisks like that, why obelisk SOUND like that, and, again, why obelisks. We also talk about MORE!
2024-06-18 11:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: Two of Coins
I had planned to excerpt lyrics from the song "Two Coins" by the band Dispatch but I thought it would ultimately be disrespectful to Joe's character work, Branson's art, Carly's taste, Chris's morals, Ali's resume, and it would actually be amazing for me, Tim.
2024-06-17 11:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: Ace of Swords
"Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes, I'm Siskel, yes, I'm Ebert
And you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered
Like my Waffle H...
Rude Talks of Chatting: Weird Times in Piss Harbor- When The Times Get Weird... Ep 12-
A finale lovingly discussed by Branson, Ali, Joe, and Chris. We talk fav moments, the power of the creative impulse, and, of course, Drillo, the Living Drill. The gang sings each other's praises while teasing what delights are yet to come in Rude Tales of Fricken Magic, baby!
Rude TAROT of Magic: Six of Coin
"'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger<...
COMING IN TWO WEEKS- Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk
Oh, bother! We're just two short weeks away from the next adventure in the grand Rude Tales tradition: BEARS! The Blessing of the Obelisk is a madcap 4-part story running in June and July from the twisted mind of Tim Platt.
Follow our bears as they journey to the darkest depths and farthest horizons as they seek their delicious prize. We're playing the awesome g...
2024-05-29 19:24:11 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: Two of Swords
"Joan of Arc walks into my mirror, A burning sword.
I'd like to cry. I look into her eyes.
I see she's seen the long days and night.
'Ooh,' she says, 'The games are still the same, I see,
But they've changed the names now.
Are all Lionhearts put in parks, apart?'"
-Kate Bush
2024-05-27 11:00:10 +0000 UTC View PostQ&A With Jonathan Large & Kneel
You had questions! The centaur (Chris Hastings) and the statue (Ali Fisher) had answers! Find out best houseguest practices, favorite sins, how memory works and more with in this candid interview.
2024-05-22 08:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostAnnouncing our Next Campaign- Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk
If you've heard today's Rude Talks you already heard this incredible news, but the day has finally come- we're excited to announce the next incredible Rude Tales Saga. Get ready for BEARS! The Blessing of the Obelisk, premiering on June 11th! This thrilling four-part adventure is DM'ed by our very own Tim "Grizzly Man" Platt! If you ...
2024-05-21 19:53:04 +0000 UTC View PostRude Talks of Chatting: Weird Times in Piss Harbor Episode 11- Gloop's Soup with Zach Cherry
Teasers & Features, Revelations & Recriminations: this ep has it all!
Ali, Branson, and Joe answer YOUR questions and talk about Zach Cherry, noble sacrifice, mascots, and what is to come...bwa ha ha!
2024-05-21 13:51:28 +0000 UTC
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Rude TAROT of Magic: Three of Wands
Here's a riddle to STRIKE (wands!) your FANCY (rule of THREES):
Three classmates skipped school on the same day.
The First Classmate, desirous of success, went straight to their job with hopes that their academic sacrifice would convince their boss to promote them to FULL time employee.
The Middle Classmate, desirous of experience, went to the zo...
2024-05-20 13:16:26 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: Nine of Swords
Ah man! If you drew this card then the image ON the card might happen to you. Dangnabbit!
2024-05-13 11:00:10 +0000 UTC View PostTalkin About DIGIMON with Branson, Joe, and Tim
Flash back to a few weeks ago when the cast was recording IN PERSON. We have finished an episode but have 30 more minutes in the recording studio. Three brave men step forward to TALK ABOUT a show that has stood the test of time: Digimon, Digital Monsters!
2024-05-07 11:00:00 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: King of Swords
If your opponent plays the King of Swords, you must remove ALL Chaos Cards from your deck. Any Chaos Cards currently in play must be flipped face down until either you or opponent cries a LOT or the HBO Card is played.
2024-05-06 11:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostRude News: The Sun Sets on Piss Harbor, and what's that lurking around the corner??
Wazzzup!!!
Exciting times are around the corner in the Rudiverse, and we're getting the ball rolling on the stunning announcements. The Month of May is honored to host the final two thrilling installments of WEIRD TIMES IN PISS HARBOR. Dropping on May 14th is episode 11- like a cold drink of water, this ep will be a sweet surprise for sure!! Then on May 28...
2024-05-02 20:27:15 +0000 UTC View PostRude Tales Live: Lent Enders- THE VIDEO EXPERIENCE
Happy Tuesday, Dear Patrons!!
Over on the main podcast feed, we've dropped the audio from last month's smash-hit live show, LENT ENDERS, but for you, our noble and just patrons, we invite you to not just hear Lent Enders, but to in fact see it!! That's right, here's the video from the show, including a few special moments that don't make the main feed... enjoy!
Rude TAROT of Magic: Page of Wands
"I'd like to live beneath the dirt
A tiny space to move and breathe is all that I would ever need
I want to live beneath the dirt
Where I'd be free from push and shove like all those swarming up above
Beneath your heals I'll spend my time
Shout your name into the wind
I'll wiggle in the earth and dew
Shout your name into the wind
And sometimes I will think of you
Shou...
Tommy & Moose Q&A
Tommy Whistle (Tim Platt) and Moose (Joe Lepore) get on mic on a Friday night to answer YOUR burning questions!
2024-04-24 11:00:08 +0000 UTC View PostRude Talks of Chatting Weird Times in Piss Harbor Episode 10: Logic and Treason OR: Moving the Goalposts
Branson, Christopher, and Tim answer YOUR questions about the ONLY podcast where co-workers help their associate move apartments!
2024-04-23 11:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostRude TAROT of Magic: Five of Coin
Hardship and insecurity are not it, pal! Get over that bs quick, pal. Please, pal.
2024-04-22 12:00:08 +0000 UTC View PostTonight: Moose & Tommy answer your questions!!
Wanna ask Moose and Tommy anything in a no-holds-barred Q&A? The bad boys of the podcast are recording tonight so patrons get your Qs in now!
Head on over to the Rude Talks of Chatting channel in the discord, and use the form there to submit those precious Qs!!
Rude TAROT of Magic: Queen of Coins
I once blew a bubble so big that the whole county dropped its petty urgencies and admired the soapy globe. Even now, years later, I still get messages of gratitude stuffing my inbox and, yes, actual mailbox. I’ve often wondered why so many people still feel so strongly about the giant bubble I blew. I think it’s because, for just a moment, my bubble gave them perspective. It gave them relie...
2024-04-15 11:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post"So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Tommy Whistle
Lyrics:
My belly be rumblin
so I'll lasso a fly.
But when I'm done gulping
and the bug's been all swallowed up
then I'm back to being lonesome,
so lonesome I could cry.
Written, performed, and recorded by Tim Platt
2024-04-11 11:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post