(The latest in the "Letters from Heather" series, loosely based on a true story. Take my word for it, fellas — if you're a denizen of the modern age, and happen to have all of your precious images stored only on one ganky old external hard drive, get a second drive and make a copy so you don't experience the same tinge of horror I did. A backup drive is NOT a backup drive if you only have...
2021-07-12 14:14:04 +0000 UTC
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I don’t know about you guys. But when I live somewhere for a while, I get attached to it, warts and all.
Like, changing apartments. There’s that last few hours, when all of your shit is packed, or has already been hauled off, and for the first time since you moved in, the space seems a little… alien. Here’s this place, where you’ve spent the past year, or two, or three, and you...
2021-06-30 17:24:57 +0000 UTC
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"Trademark Rule 2.72, 37 C.F.R §2.72 establishes the basis for what constitutes material alteration. This rule was established in the 1983 case of Visa International Service Association v. Life-Code Systems, Inc. If the modified mark contains the "essence" of the original mark, material alteration has occurred. The basic change that occurs is small enough that it creates the same commercial im...
2021-06-29 18:32:15 +0000 UTC
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Shit, dude. "Unruly" would be an understatement. I will admit that, before recording this, I jotted out a quick bullet point list of top-of-the-head occurrences that are pretty commonplace for me, but might come off as just wacky to someone who is just getting to know me.
Let's just say there were stages. Stage one: breaking all of my fancy wine glasses. Stage two: getting a fresh b...
2021-06-29 18:05:29 +0000 UTC
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Truly, one of the more eerie and mysterious ways to rouse yourself with the dawn. That being said, I do tend to sleep pretty late most days, much to the chagrin of my circadian rhythm.
But at some point, I vowed that I would actually get it on tape. Or, on phone. Nailed it.
What’s the opposite of a knell? A peal, maybe? Yeah, I like that.
2021-06-04 21:19:48 +0000 UTC
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You know, it occurs to me that I haven’t really talked about Astrid yet.
Not sure if you’ve been keeping tabs on Instagram, but there were a few times where we hung out, and just did some silly Instagram story posts. Some drinking and cooking involved, too.
Anyway, she’s amazing. She’s @3astrid33 if you’re interested in checking her out. We met online late last year (commo...
2021-05-26 16:55:47 +0000 UTC
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This is my standard outfit for going out to bars. Remember? Jeans and tee shirts for the win, and a standard-issue button-down gives me the brand of casual that you could only find in a... '90s Seattle alt-rock bar. I'll take it.
Hashtag born in the, hashtag wrong time, hashtag wrong place.
But it's a picture of me, taken in a mirror!!! So it's a new perspective — do you...
2021-05-25 20:17:49 +0000 UTC
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Want to know a fun fact about me? I never got into The Wire. Remember, that four-season super-complex, well-constructed think series that was a part of that first big post-Sopranos wave of Golden Age television? Yeah. Never got into it.
I’m not sure why. Technically, it’s a masterpiece. Well-acted, perfectly written, great pacing, superb production. Suffice it to say, I think...
2021-05-25 19:21:55 +0000 UTC
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...standing in line at the deli, and this is the point of view from some bloke sitting at a cramped table during the lunch rush, noshing on a pastrami on rye.
Do you know what I miss the most about the States? There is this chain of Jewish delis in my old city. (If anyone is an ATLien, Goldberg’s, amiright?) They had this breakfast special, that was a fresh bagel, cream cheese, smoked s...
2021-05-24 21:13:35 +0000 UTC
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Body positivity alert! Since that’s one of the things that I guess I’m all about (or at least people have told me that I am), I might as well spread it around, and practice what I preach.
One of the things that’s nice about having huge hooters, is that if I gain a little weight, nobody really notices. Especially because I tend to gain weight in my belly. Maaaybe a bit in the thighs,...
2021-05-22 16:40:23 +0000 UTC
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Searching for a lighter. I had, like, four here, but I can’t find one.
Brushed the top of Natalia. Bunch of weird l… apparently, I’ve absentmindedly stuck, like, three lighters in my bra tonight. I am the official boob version of the grandmother who can’t find her glasses, even though they are on her forehead.
Also, yes, I have a printer! Did they ever get to make a really p...
2021-05-21 22:30:48 +0000 UTC
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The key to a good pizza dough is fermentation, at least for a day. Let all the bacteria eat up the starches, create lactic acid and CO2, and break down the gluten chains.
Fun fact. I’m gluten intolerant. Not the type of person at a restaurant to ask if such-and-such contains gluten, or anything. I always have been, and continue to be, sort of a human garbage disposal. I’ll eat literal...
2021-05-21 21:58:54 +0000 UTC
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Merely making pizza, when Olga strikes my jar of pizza sauce. I attempt to recover; Natalia knocks over a bottle of wine (still some left in it too, by gum!), toward the floor. I catch the bottle of wine with my foot so it doesn’t break (massive props); it still splatters all over, and now I need to re-bleach these stupid little curtains. (I just cleaned them a week ago… Come on, champ!).
2021-05-21 20:58:59 +0000 UTC
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Pretty self-explanatory. But, the short answer is "yep." The long answer is as immersive as I could be with a couple of glasses of wine already in my system.
I guess people ask this one, because it's completely crazy, but since they're boobs, they're treated differently, and are sexualized, and are a bit more familiar. Like, if someone had some huge Seinfeld goiter on their neck, yo...
2021-05-20 23:31:52 +0000 UTC
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Normally, I would say a little something here, but I think all the details made it into the video.
I think the first time I saw something like this was on some YouTube clip a friend sent me a little while back. I think it was from some daytime talkshow from the 1990s? Jenny Jones, or something? Anyway, she had this dancer on the show, who had positively monster boobs, and her tri...
2021-05-20 15:16:26 +0000 UTC
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(I’m really loving how this one came out. What I love about this whole series, is that all these pieces, especially at the larger sizes, have this sense of respect for the format. Like, it’s easy to make breasts this large look cartoonish, or like a caricature. But, these images sort of answer the question, “for real, what IF there was a woman whose breasts were just this big, and wha...
2021-05-18 21:27:03 +0000 UTC
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“Oh, he’s totally cool,” or “Yeah, he’s a great guy...” Those only carry so much traction. But in this case, with the radar I’ve developed, I can kinda sniff out the weirdos.
And besides. I’ve told myself over and over that I was gonna do it at some point, if it ever came up. For something with a reason, like some art book.
But he actually was a huge deal, and was wo...
2021-05-03 21:28:18 +0000 UTC
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A little pairing of tracks. The first, I can't really blame anyone for — I would assume the same thing if I met me.
The second... I'm no Adele. And I haven't put a lot of music out there into the world, for the usual reasons. I haven't had any formal vocal training, but for me, singing is a nice form of self-expression, the ukulele has been a good friend throu...
2021-04-30 16:22:22 +0000 UTC
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Another vignette about an alternate reality Heather whose boobs never stopped growing. Etherial artwork done by the amazing @AldoinHeaven [Twitter & IG].
This piece just kind of flows. When I wrote this short story (as is the case when I write most things that, you know, have a description of some tangible object), there’s always this little Golum Smeagol in the vack of my ...
2021-04-28 00:12:19 +0000 UTC
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(Making this available to the “Heather’s Life” tier; if you’re interested in more from this series, and other pieces of fiction, check out the next tier up!)
Another vignette about an alternate reality Heather whose boobs never stopped growing. Etherial artwork done by the amazing @AldoinHeaven [Twitt...
2021-04-24 09:55:38 +0000 UTC
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(Note: It gives me a warning if I try to use the word p*rn? Which I can understand. This post is in no way p*rnographic, nor does it link to anything like that, but Patreon is cool, so why bug the Trust and Safety Team? So I'll just stick with an asterisk in the text. -H)
There are times when I find myself completely baffled by the kindness and generosity of the friends I've made...
2021-04-23 20:31:55 +0000 UTC
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Ha. Yeah. This one. I mean, you can probably guess, right?
It's ok. I try my best to explain. I'm still just a little curious as to what folks expect when they actually just come out and ask. And, I mean, it's not like I'm "perky," no matter the bra. So... yeah?
Anyway. Just a fun one. Also, music by David Holmes, from the "Ocean's 11" soundtrack. The song is called "Sna...
2021-04-14 17:39:37 +0000 UTC
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(The next in a series of vignettes about alternate reality Heather, whose boobs never stopped growing. Illustration by the fabulous @aldoinheaven [on Twitter and Insta].)
I think I definitely bought it for the bathroom. The view is still a little whamp-whamp, but it’s a few floors off the ground, and the layout is really solid and modular. My first big-girl purchase with the last couple...
2021-04-11 05:15:39 +0000 UTC
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My first foray into the wilds of this whole recording thing. It's fun! That being said, I'm still learning the ropes, especially when it comes to the editing part . I can rock AP style like I'm ringing a bell, but when it comes to a program even as simple as Audacity, I'm still pretty much a novice. So, go easy on me while I continue to figure all this out. :-) But, I'm having fun, and I think ...
2021-04-09 16:55:45 +0000 UTC
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The next vignette about an alternate reality Heather whose boobs never stopped growing. Artwork done by the amazing @AldoinHeaven on Twitter.
I really love this one. Very relaxed, demure, abstract... and SUCH a splendid aesthetic on the expression. Now to find a nice warm rock where the girls and I can lounge like igu...
2021-04-02 17:39:39 +0000 UTC
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Another vignette about an alternate reality Heather whose boobs never stopped growing. Artwork done by a good friend, the amazing @victormarquez_pinup_art on Instagram, as a sweet, spur-of-the-moment thing. When the inspiration hits! (Look forward to seeing more of the dreamy, etherial work of @AldoinHeaven [Twitter & IG] coming to this series soon, btw - just saw a preview and it’s so co...
2021-03-30 18:06:24 +0000 UTC
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(The first in a new series of vignettes about an alternate reality Heather whose boobs never stopped growing. Artwork done by the amazing @AldoinHeaven on Twitter.)
No clue it would be my last trip to the beach before everything shut down… Those last days of summer before the crispness of ...
2021-03-23 00:36:16 +0000 UTC
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I’m not a service member, so I’m not exactly sure how I might be able to get my hands on one of these (top image from Google). And I know this is the last thing most people tend to say about military issued attire… but my god that looks comfy! (A maternity flight suit that the Air Force started issuing last year? Cool for a bunch of reasons!)
Longtime readers will ...
2021-03-15 14:03:06 +0000 UTC
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Recently, a rather busty friend of mine on Instagram told me about this woman she was working with on a custom bralette. She was stoked, because, like me, she’s never owned a brawl it. But this woman specializes in all sizes, handmade, all that good 21st century gig stuff.
I got her address, and reached out to her… I’ve heard that before. No offense to the clothing designers of the ...
2021-03-12 21:38:59 +0000 UTC
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Like, have you listened to them?
I know,
Dancing Queen,
Waterloo,
Does Your Mother Know...
I was born in 1984, and it wasn’t until the early 2000s that I told a much older friend of mine that I had just discovered ABBA. He dead-stared me in the eyes, with no conceit, and no ill will — and with only pure interest! — was all like, “oh, you just discovered...
2021-03-11 22:31:51 +0000 UTC
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