Update

So, this feels like an embarrassing post to be made for me, but I felt like it needed to be made.

First and foremost, I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout my journey so far. I'm going through so much in my personal life at this point in time, and am currently staying my ass in some much needed therapy.

I'm sorry for constantly dipping in and out and not showing up with any content like I keep promising. I know the year is almost over, and it seemed like I was constantly slipping behind, re-enacting the same patterns, so I did some self-reflection while I was away.

I realized that, for one, I am overly ambitious and need to take things slow. I've been putting too much on the table for me to swallow with projects in the background, and I decided to take a moment to step away from everything and just breathe.  At this point in time, I've paused all interactions on Fiverr and will wait a LONG while before I open it back up. Alongside this, any hidden projects that I was taking a part in I've either withdrew from or decided to stretch out my time working on it (and cap how much I'll work on it). This way, I don't have to deal with too many close deadlines. And as for collabs, they're still coming, but they won't be soon. Not until I feel confident that I've caught up with everything and don't feel like I'm overworking myself. With the way I was going with all of this in the background, there was no way that I'd ever catch up. I was very quickly breaking down and burning out over time. I don't think I would've been able to continue anything soon at the rate I was going. I hope with these changes that it'll help me in being able to deliver the content that you all pledged for.

As for the missing audios, from what I see, half of last month's content is not out and this month is almost over. It's possible I even missed an audio or two in September, but I'd have to check that again. When I was in the midst of denial and stubbornness during the last text post I made, I tried to continue a cycle by trying to make November's calendar with my usual 9 audios per month while still trying to play catch up with 4 other audios. All the while having other life responsibilities that I have to deal with. Even trying to think that was a good idea was stupid. Point blank idiotic. No matter how I look at it with a reasonable head, there's no possible way that I can just quickly lay everything out and post everything that's missing in a week or two. And I don't want to risk fucking up my mental health further by overworking myself on something that I find joy in.

So, I decided that I will, instead, slowly post all of last month's content throughout the end of this month. There's only four that I'm missing, and two of them have already been recorded ("Demon Girl Bullies Her Favorite Human Slave" and "Trapped in a Grocery Store in a Zombie Apocalypse"). Tonight, I'll be editing those two audios from October's calendar. And after this text post is published, two of November's audios will also be posted. Posting all of October's audios is my priority (along with my health, obviously), but if I have the extra time and I'm not overworked, I'll post two more of November's audio ideas I had. The rest, I'll see about migrating into December's audios or having some type of workaround that doesn't involve impossible feats.

P.S. I love you guys, truly. The messages I get always brighten my day whether on YouTube or over here on Patreon. And I'll try to be nicer to myself and get to know myself better so that I don't repeat this cycle of overworking myself and delivering empty promises. I want to deliver quality audios without sacrificing my sanity or health. Please, don't fall into hustle culture where you have to sacrifice so much of your health just to get an end product or result. It's not worth it. I can certainly attest to that with all of what I'm going through now. Of course, we all have to work to get by in this day and age, but please make sure to schedule rest breaks for yourself. Eat some food. Drink plenty of water. Read a book, play a game, check in with yourself or your family, or just do something fun to take your mind off of things. Don't just work until you drop like I was doing. It's not sustainable and you'll hurt not only yourself, but others. There are people out there that worry and care about you. My reality check was my little brother asking why I don't play with him and why I'm always busy. What a horrible moment for us both and I don't want him to feel like that again, so I'll work on myself and do better.

Anyways, enough soppiness. Love you guys, take care, and I hope you'll enjoy what's to come!