Saturday Update December 7 2024

Gosh darn Saturday already?! It snuck up on me again!

The winter blues have started so I've been resting a little more. You know, when it starts to get darker and colder and you feel less productive and tired and sometimes depressed? 

I'm glad to say that I've gotten all the endings of Pulsatio Cordis and finished editing it!! If all goes well the video should be up tomorrow!

Can I just gush about this game for a second? I really love how they portray mental health in this game, not just with Liev but also the main character. I could definitely emphasize with the MC as well as Liev sometimes about his family life. In part three you learn a lot more about Liev and what he's been through. When I finished recording and getting all the endings and even reading the little endnote from the developer, I hovered the mouse over the QUIT option to close the game for the very last time, feeling a deep sadness that I'll probably never see this “world” again. That’s the mark of a great game!

I love reading about people's stories, about their OCs, about the world's they created in their heads.

I learned (from tiktok of all places) about something called maladaptive daydreaming and it sounded a lot like what I spent almost all of my childhood doing. I still think the overly intricate universe that I made up through middle and high school wasn’t EXACTLY maladaptive daydreaming, but it seems pretty close.

And now that I see other people's “worlds” through these games, it's beautiful to see just how creative everyone is. 

One of my favorite and most used OCs was a character I named Luna. I meant to mention her in the game “Astronought” when he nicknamed the MC “Luna”, but cut it because I couldn't find a picture of her on my computer (and I felt a lil cringy). She was the “world hopping” OC that I would insert into fanfictions or pair up with fictional husbands I liked at the time. I'm kind of glad that now that I'm older, I'm more into shipping myself/Espoir with my husbands. 

I don't want to get too deep into the OC universe that I made up as a kid but it was a mix of sailor moon, sonic the hedgehog, X/1999 the movie, and little bits of other cartoons, video games, and media I consumed in the 90s.

So back to channel stuffs! I’ve recorded more HOMICIPHER and explored chapter 5. I think it was the final showdown with Mr Scarletela and also the scene where Mr Crawling stands up. I think I’ll have to do one more HOMICIPHER video after this one because there’s still a few more endings. This is another game that I’ll be awfully sad to close for the last time.

I still need to edit the video for a game I played called “Hold your tongues”. I don’t know how people will feel about this one because it’s more vague than the lore of FNAF! I can’t wait to read people’s comments about it!

OH and remember a game I played nearly 2 years ago called “The Diner”? Well that’s got a major update as well and is called “That New Diner”. I started recording it and it’s pretty similar but the art has gotten a major update!

I still need to get on recording the adult patreon videos, I want to go back to Rire in BTD, and Jak from Lover’s Trophy, and I believe I can now do Fox’s route in The Price of Flesh! If you are on ,y adult patreon, feel free to suggest a game you’d like to see in the comments here or anywhere!

I have a metric ton of games sorted in various “to play” folders including some from the Spooktober game jam and the “monstrous desires” game jam. I still really want to start “Killer chat” , a game about, I think, chatting discord style with actual killers who fall in love with you? And also, if I can sort out the technical difficulties with it, the Toji adult fan game. 

I'm sorry that I very frequently forget games that I've said I'll play, sometimes a game will excite me more than others and a few get forgotten. There’s games from 2 years ago that I still haven’t gotten to. But everyone has been so patient with me and I’m really grateful for it!!

I’m still thinking about podcasts, or “talking videos”, one’s where I just talk about things…however I have no idea what things you guys would like to hear, and also whether it should be a patreon exclusive thing or on my main channel. I might make it for the main channel because one thing I personally love is when a youtuber tells their story or talks about personal things or their feelings, so maybe some of you would enjoy that? I’m always open to suggestions (because contrary to popular belief, i have no idea what I’m doing LOL) 

But I’ve been doing really well, I’m so glad I started this Youtube journey and met all of you! We’re actually very close to 100,000 subscribers! I’d like to do something special when we reach 50,000 but I don’t know what. Maybe I should finally tell the story of the name I chose on my channel. I made a post about it here if you haven’t read it. It's a Saturday Update post called “Espoir’s story”. (i REALLY need to organize/name these better)

Thank you for reading this, thank you so much for the support, and thank you for being here! We’ll get through this winter as long as we keep moving forward, and if you need to rest, you rest, you don’t need to have a certain amount of work done to deserve rest!