Saturday Update December 28 2024

I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday! As I get older I start to expect less for Christmas so when someone puts effort into me and goes out of their way I am truly beside myself with tears. I want to thank my fellow YouTuber and friend Sleeeeepybug for surprising me with a gift and also to say you should totally check out her channel!

My darling husband got me many home appliances that I needed and things I wanted but kept putting off getting for myself, and my mom got me a random assortment of useful everyday things (as well as silly socks cuz I like silly socks).

But what I think I liked most about this Christmas was on Christmas eve, staring at the dim glow of the lights on my Christmas tree in the dark, that was warm like Christmas lights were in the 90s. I baked chocolate chip cookies, leaving them out on a plate, knowing they'll still be there when I wake up, but lighting a candle next to it anyway. Sometimes you just gotta do things that make your inner child happy.

And what a surprising Christmas gift that on Christmas eve we are finally allowed to show off Day 4 of your boyfriend! I wanted the first video to be the nicest route because it's gonna get dark! I think the next route will be the neutral or more realistic route where I'll go along with Peter but won't fully agree with him and his delusions. Perhaps last I'll do the meanest and probably most brutal route, gonna have to dig out my Chara sweater!

Since I’ve been taking kind of a break not much has changed in videos I’m editing and games I plan to play. I just recorded 2/3rds of my last playthrough for Pygmalion’s Folly which has the NSFW scenes. I haven’t finished playing all of the demo for Predator’s Syndrome but I have a part one video finished and scheduled, it’s about 2 hours long! Although the game is still technically a “demo” I think I’ll treat these playthroughs of Predator’s Syndrome as parts of the full game, cuz it’s very long and I probably won’t replay it from the beginning again. I’ve also started recording Killer Chat which is also pretty long, and I think I’ll put that game in parts too.

Like I said, the list of games I want to record are the same as the last update, “Lover’s Trophy”, Fox’s route in the Price of Flesh, both for my adult patreon mostly, and several games from the monstrous desires game jam like “carved in stone” and “my new tenant”.

I tell ya this “job” can be easy or it can be hectic! I’ve been doing Youtube since January 2021 and I never expected to be here now. It feels so strange having people actually see and hear me, and I am beyond grateful for every single person who chooses to watch my silly videos. We’re quickly approaching 50k subscribers and I want to do something to celebrate! I know I want to try and make a video on why I chose the name “Espoir du vide” but I was also thinking of doing an “ask me anything (within reason)” thing that's open to my patrons. That’s one of the few downsides to being a youtuber, there’s so much I want to do but have so little time and energy!

But if there is something you really want to do or learn, GO FOR IT, do it, start learning it, start trying it! You can even say to yourself “as an experiment i will” and then try that thing! If it goes good than you keep going and if it messes up, well it was just an experiment! There is no “right time” to do something you’ve always wanted to try, and there is no way to know how it will turn out when you do. But one thing is for sure that if you don’t give it a try it will always be a loss.

Thank you for reading this, thank you for the support, and thank you for being here!