Questions thread for KJB Q&A 2!

Previously, the Twitter account (Alice hosts it, right?) pointed out how easy it would be for SPECTRE to blackmail Bond if he were a trans person. Considering how many spy stories involve questions of loyalty, reality and identity, what are some ways you can think of that would make for interesting ways to explore gender and/or trans identity in the spy genre? Any tropes you would play with?

Tarp_o

If Boffins and Goons have apps for when they need work, do Assassins (as the higher-end threat) have a professional body that hosts events for members? If so, who's the most insufferable one at those meetings out of all the assassins thus far?

Manic Misanthrope

Not really a question but listening to you take these plots apart made me realize that it isn’t actually my stupidity that makes me struggle with the plot of these movies, rather the logical part of my brain just refuses to go along with the nonsense and short circuits, therefore I never can actually remember the point of the plot afterwards…

Afwei

Do you feel like the repeating of plot points and scenes from one film to the next (thunderball beats being recreated alot) has to do with home video not Being A Thing yet? I would imagine that it makes sense to repeat old highlights if most people could probably only have seen it once like 10 years ago, if they saw it at all. I mean it could also just be "fuck it" writing, but given that i was born after Home Video was ubiquitous, i've always assumed that if people couldn't watch the same film again, they at least would like to see versions of old scenes they recall again as an approximation.

Which roleplaying game would you kill James Bond on, and no, you cannot pick Dungeons & Dragons. What plot of these cursed films has Devon brought to a D&D table?

The Bond books written by Ian Fleming are already public domain in some countries (ie, those that use a 50 year posthumous copyright term). But, in countries which use a 70 year term (e.g. the UK/EU, USA, etc.), they will be public domain after the end of 2034. Do you think the franchise will change in any meaningful way when they become public domain more broadly? Or is capitalism just gonna capitalism?

How would you kill James Bond if time and resources weren't an issue?

ArtSupportingLesbian

Same apologies, I have the same curiosity. I am a committed atheist but I have a great deal of respect for people's faith. I can totally see why so many people convert to Islam, but I am still curious about your journey there.

Anna Feruglio Dal Dan

Hey Alice sorry if this is a bit personal but I was wondering what made you decide to convert to Islam? Sometimes I think about converting to Judaism but then I remember that I'm very noncommittal about religion and lazy as fuck. "It's called "Kill James Bond" Mr. Bond. It's quite an entertaining Pod Cast." Love the Show.

Sirloinofice

I’d love to hear y’all’s thoughts on the effect Bond has had some on drinking culture. From the Vesper martini being the ultimate dipshit drink order to whether ordering a drink shaken, not stirred somehow subverts toxic masculinity. Love the show!

Zach Simonson

What's your favorite [bigotry noise], if you have one?

Twi

Which one of you is the least likely to become a supervillain. Another question who would you have as your lead henchman and what would your required uniform be.

A Trans Robot

To all present; Unusual supervillain lairs, what's your favorite so far, and what wild ideas do you have? Or would you go with a more livable place instead of maximizing dramatic effect?

Jorg2

If you added a fifth category to the SCUM system, what would it be? Or are there any metrics that were originally considered but got cut?

Jazz Fox-Canning

Is there something fundamentally English about the character of James Bond? As an American, I feel like a lot of his appeal in the U.S. is that he can be suave and stylish without reading as femme to the mainstream, but some of that is intrinsically tied to his English-ness. Is that similar for a mainstream English audience? Are there other aspects of the franchise that are uniquely English? I was really interested in your discussion of colonialism in the early-Bond Caribbean -- I imagine that would have read differently to a US vs English audience.

Lex

Alternatively, ConneryBond, LazenbyBond, MooreBond: Fuck, Marry, Kill?

George Baily

Do you think that if Bond's next actor were a woman and/or person of colour, anything will fundamentally change with the series, or will it just be more of the same with no introspection of any sort?

George Baily

"Now this illicit Podcast station is greatly offensive to Her Majesty the Queen, 007. Do dispose of it please."

khaliqtessi

Could you rewrite any of the movies so far to be more palatable or is the very DNA of the Bond franchise cursed and it would be better to create a new franchise under some other name?

khaliqtessi

Can we get the official KJB position on the theory that the 1996 movie the rock is actually the final movie in the Connery bond era? As evidenced by this totally not deranged video https://youtu.be/9FdnevXjqdc

Pedro Bento

Are there any Bond series actors (any character, not just Bames himself) you would love to have as guests on the pod?

Jazz Fox-Canning

Would you consider any of the characters in the films you've seen to have trans energy? If so, who?

Evie

Imagine you could finally kill Bond, but only one of his "incarnations". Which one do you choose to eliminate?

Sonja

Do you have a favorite Bond theme? Also, what do you think of young Q? Love the podcast!

Do you think that the next James Bond should be played by a twink like Q currently is?

What extra body part lets the world know of your raw sexual power? The third nipple one is true, you gotta meet my husband some day.

Liz and Ash in Florida. It's very hot! Climate change will kill us all.

What is the theme song for the movie where Bond breaks into your secret lair? We all know the name will be something lame like Colonialism Continues To Kill

Liz and Ash in Florida. It's very hot! Climate change will kill us all.

God damn it I was going to ask that

Liz and Ash in Florida. It's very hot! Climate change will kill us all.

Who is your favorite semi-recurring character from the series? I'm talking the many faces of Felix Leiter, Sherrif JWPepper, or is your favorite still yet to come? There's Valentin Zukovsky coming way later, and Jaws coming soon! Probably a few I've forgotten.

khaliqtessi

When is Alice going to review all the bond watches?

Spectra

What do you think would be the most cursed setting for a new bond film (either present or back in the past)

I'm curious about your past feelings about the Bond movies (well, those of you who have seen them). Are you former fans who have become disillusioned with the series, or have you always disliked them?

Which bonds could you take in a fight?

Which James Bond film would be most improved if Bond was played by Betty White?

Anime Omelette

Which wine (or other drink of your choice) pairs best with which Bond and why?

How many of the original novels have you each read? What do you think made them popular in the first place, and does any of that stand up to a modern reader's perspective (especially given how awful they are in all other aspects)?

Big Titty Goth Girl

That's literally just Devon

ZaitsevFred

Would Bond, a new BBC miniseries written and produced by Steven Moffat be better or worse then the modern Bond films. Would it be better or worse then Sherlock? What are some of the stand out moments you imagine might be in such a series.

What’s your Bond Girl name?

Samariel Hastur

What movies or series are potentially up for use in bonus eps? Is there a list we can all see? Is there any you feel obligated to do but DREAD eventually doing?

George Rohac

For all hosts (but mostly Alice): Major Geoffrey Boothroyd famously objected to Ian Fleming's choice of handgun for Bond, referring to the Beretta 418 as "a lady's gun." Given your collective expertise with both guns *and* gender, which gun would you pick for Bond and why?

Jack Holmes

Kronsteen spin off when?

He does it just like Doctor Who

Following on from the recent controversy over whether the man with the golden gun theme song is good (it is), I’m curious to know which bond theme each of you would considers the best. Personally I’ve always loved On Her Majesty’s Secret Service despite the lack of lyrics.

Under what circumstances would the three of you accept the roles of three comic-relief henchmen in a Bond movie?

Sonja

So you're approached by Eon with a bold new vision for the Bond franchise; you're tasked with rebooting the series as a furry anime. What species are each of the core characters/archetypes?

Leo Curtis

They should just make that Metal Gear film already. Snake (all of the Snakes) are better at being Bond then Bond is

J

Interested if you guys have read the novel for Spy Who Loved Me because I remember it being unbelievably rapey, and had nothing to do with the film

George Harris

What fit would you assign the henchmen in your secret lair? My own mind drifts to the memorable and tight Spanish Foreign Legion: https://tinyurl.com/4wyktphp

Penwize

According to this story it is possible we may one day be able to talk to whales. If we could, what would you say to whales, and why https://www.livescience.com/can-humans-understand-whales.html

noah

You have been selected for a top-secret mission and will be equipped accordingly. What everyday object does Q modify for each of you and how? (Should it happen to be a watch, which watch and why?)

We all know Bond fucks. But which one fucks best and why ?

dan

All the Bonds fight each other. Which Bond wins ?

dan

As winners of the Kronsteen Rosette, what underappreciated piece of villainy have you just had screwed up by your boss?

Petra The Alright

Of the movies you have seen what was the most ridiculous evil plan a Bond villain has ever come up with? (This can include videogame Bond stuff as well)

Larrykins

Hitting on the Lazenby and acting question again: Would he be the ideal bond actor, if he just got a handful of different personality walks? And relatedly: Does Bond ever choose to get involved with the adventure? For example Indiana Jones in "The Raiders of the Lost Arc" repeatedly chooses to be part of the adventure. He threatened the Nazis to blow up the McGuffin with a rocket launcher, which would end the adventure. But he did not. Because he as well wanted to know what was inside. Did we ever get a scene where Bond chose to be part of the movie?

Jonas Schwammberger

Congratulations! You're the directors for the next Bond movie. Who will play 007, who will be the villain and what is the device/weapon that threatens to end the world?

Q for Alice, Abigail, and Devon: how have the various bonds shaped the concept of "cool?" Has it always been unambiguously for the worse? Loving your work!

James Bond vs Golgo 13 who wins? We all lose regardless

And what fate has befallen your Largest Henchman?

Jazz Fox-Canning

if u could make james bond watch one episode of philosophy tube, which one and why?

Do you think the natsec/intel community would be more evil or less evil in a world without the influence of the James Bond franchise?

Which pair of Bonds would make for the best couple? ('best' is up to interpretation)

thejackalope231

Would Austin Powers be able to kill James Bond? Would the answer depend on who's playing Bond?

Subspace Jet Witch

What colour are you picking for your henchmen jumpsuits?

John Harwood

What’s the worst James Bond character death?

What is the best dressed bond villain and/or bond girl so far?

James Craft

Which bond girl would you have as a guest on the podcast? (Alice might need to prepare the spray bottle of this one!)

Butcher

Are you going to invite Liv Agar at some point? Their insight could be enlightning.

Lauren Cabral

To everyone: if you were quantum leaped into the role of M, how would you kill James bond while maintaining your cover

Are there any films that aren’t on theme for this podcast that you are tempted to do a bonus episode on anyway, either because it has personal significance to you, you have a lot to say about it or you think you’d get some good riffs out of it?

Q2. Ian Fleming is a petty bitch who named villains after the Übermensch who stuck his head down the bogs at Eton. Describe 'Fleming' in "The Shit with the Silver Spoon in His F*cking Mouth".

Roger Moore had a rubber nip on, Connery did 'Asia' face. what's the worst disguise these fucking clowns have worn?

For All: What non-Bond-theme would work best as a future Bond theme and why is it Snake Eater?

Jack Drummond

How, if you had the chance, would you actully kill James Bond. You can go all out on the prick no budget, no law will prevent you. (Not attempt, actully off him)

Nikki

Now that we're three Bonds deep, f*ck, marry, kill.

And why lol

Ramona Mantegani

Worst Bond to get blazed with?

Ramona Mantegani

For everyone: If you could take one character from one Bond movie and put them in any other Bond movie, which would you choose? Love the show!

Hannah Oberhardt

Each of you: please choose one gadget from a film you have covered so far to own in real life. What is it and what would you use it for?

Mo Haworth

I believe they are -properly- "Casinos Royale".

Robert Young

What would be your (any and all of you) overly elaborate method for executing James Bond?

Of the films you have covered so far: 1. Which characters had the best fit? 2. Which characters had the worst fit?

Calum Ferguson

Hetero?

Calum Ferguson

Would you rather be 3 feet tall or 9 feet tall? You would keep your current proportions and suffer no ill health side effects in either case. Please consider carefully, this is very important.

How long until the franchise executives reveal that James Bond served in the Second Battalion Parachute Regiment in Northern Ireland as part of Operation Banner?

How many casino royals are there? I thought there was just one wth

Of the movies seen so far, which theme song would you sing in karaoke?

Shon Richards

Would you (as a group, reaching group consensus) rather take on 100 Knick-Knack sized James Bonds or 1 James Bond sized Knick-Knack?

RIP Officer DeeDee Megadoodoo

Obviously each one of you could, if need arose, kill James Bond. The question is, how many cloned James Bonds could each of you kill before one of them managed to stumble drunkenly into taking you out?

Nah

Which bond character would make the worst customer? Which would make the best?

DK Jones

Ok, *side* side question, does “he learned the game from his uncle James, now he’s heir to the name” imply that Bond (senior) is training a series of child soldiers to take his place? Wait, and surely James Bond Junior implies his father is James? How is his uncle James too? HOW DEEP DOES THIS RABBIT HOLE GO?

Will you ever cover James Bond Junior, and, side question, what thought process do you think went into “James Bond, there’s a good source for a Saturday morning kid’s cartoon!”?

What are all y'alls Bond villain personas?

Corran MacCorran

Follow-up question: which outfit from the films would you most like to have yourselfs?

What is the best fit you have seen in a movie so far?

HJ

Have you considered the "Good" equivalent to the Kronsteen Rosette be called the "Quarrel Cross".

Moira

Alice, which Bond watch do you covet the most, and which deserves to die in a fire? Everyone, which Doctor Who showrunner (classic or current) would be the best or worst-suited to write a Bond script?

Don Kasak

I know that Armie Hammer is a little...controversial these days, but have you considered doing a non-Bond episode on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.?

Brian Taulbee

What's your favorite bond movie interrogation scene?

Inanna

What are your snacks of choice? What is the weirdest Japanese advert a bond actor has started in?

How did Lazenby, a man with apparently no ability to act, compare to Moore, a man with apparently no opportunity to act?

Made up name

Which episode, past or future, do you think is going to feature the most Alice + Abi militaria nerd content?

You all are Bond villains and it's the end of the movie, so it's time for your over-the-top, ridiculous death scene. What does that look like?

Which of the Blofeld performances that you've seen thus far have been your favorite, and why is it Telly Savalas?

David Alexander

Is there a Soviet equivalent of James Bond, and if so is it any good?

What genre that Bond movies have yet to clumsily appropriate would you like to see them appropriate next?

You are tasked with producing, writing, and directing an official James Bond film. Your only rules are that this film can not be a parody

Google Hushabye Vally

As someone who is often accosted by his friends for never having seen a James Bond film, I've been loving KJB! If you could corral all the various Bonds into a battle royale, which do you think would be victorious?

In the parallel chad universe where George Lazenby stayed on as Bond, which actors took over the role in the subsequent decades?

Reginald K. Baytor

Fuck marry kill, the 3 bonds you have covered.

sensual kazoo

What's your preferred theory for how Bond changes his face and body every few movies? Regeneration? Code name? Parallel universe? One of those masks that never otherwise gets used? Highly painful and invasive surgery?

Which one of you would make the best bond villain?

tenet episode with hussein when

HJC

If you're forced to abandon your underground volcano base what would your choice be for the next supervillain lair?

Ship's Bosun Saoirse

(Besides Abigail) :-)

If a woman were ever going to play 007 in the series, which actress would you like to see in the role and why?

I think the better question is which Bond girl *doesn't* fake an orgasm when sleeping with Bond

Katrina

If you had to write a James Bond movie yourself, what would it be? (beyond the final death of Bond of course)

LeondeBowa

Thoughts on Deep Space Nine’s bond parody episodes with Doctor Bashir and his hetero life partner Garak?

Handcuff him to a concrete block and throw him in a river?

Which bond girl fakes orgasm when sleeping with bond?

DK Jones

If you were a Bond villain, what would be your convoluted master plan to kill Bond/general villain shit?

After listening to your podcast, a rewatch of Tenet was a very interesting experience. That film was obviously influenced by JB, but I was wondering if doing the podcast has made watching any specific film different then before you analyzed a James Bond every other week?

Are you ever going to cover the Alex Rider series of books/the one crap film?

What is the best "counter media property" for when you are bummed out from watching James Bonds nastyness?.

Angerboda

Since Ken Adam's retirement, do you think the quality of supervillain bases has gone downhill?

Simon Bitdiddle

How do you think Bond would change if he were a competent agent? (Not relying on sheer luck).

OrangeFlavouredPineapple

Who would you like to see replacing Daniel Craig other than “no one” and “Abigail”? If there’s actually no one, then who would make the most interesting/entertaining choice?

LucasProbably

KJB Crew, you are each made minor character allies as yourselves to Bond like Kerim Bey, Tiger Tanaka etc. How do you assist Bames Jond and what details do you have in the film to show how you’re a much cooler person like the allies above?

1. Which movie or which Bond are you most looking forward to discussing? 2. Favorite theme song out of the bunch so far? 3. How would each of you, personally, kill James Bond?

Dana Himrich

what is the correct response to meeting roger moores james bond

Christine Pizan

What was the first Bond movie you saw at home? In the theater?

Mike Kirschner

Has Jame Bonds ever smoked weed?

obliteron

Can you read this question in the bonus voice for the bonus episode? That’s it, if it’s a no, coolio.

Pat Lee Nichols

Have you had much pushback from or other interesting interactions with the "mainstream" Bond fan culture? Loving the show btw x

Cursed one: what awful poshboy oxford/Cambridge College vibes does each individual bond give off?

Rufus Dean

Did the Soviet Union have a version of James Bond? What would that look like?

J

Top 3 things you will refuse to explain?

Dormagio