Advise: The letter you never got but desperately needed.

Dear [Male],

I hope this note finds you well. I wanted to clarify the nature of our relationship and suggest some activities that we can do together.

First, I want to make it clear that our relationship is purely platonic. I am not interested in pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship with you, and I hope that you will respect my boundaries and feelings on this matter. It is important to me that you understand that I am not attracted to you in any way and that I have no romantic or sexual interest in you at all. I value your 'friendship' and appreciate your willingness to be HELPFUL and SUPPORTIVE, but it is important that you respect my boundaries and do not try to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship with me. Even if I sometimes give the impression that you have a chance. Please remember that I am only doing this to dismantle your defenses so I can get what I want.

That being said, I value your effort and enjoy what you do for me. I also appreciate your willingness to be helpful and assist me with tasks or responsibilities I don't feel like doing. Your contributions and efforts will allow you to spend more time with me, which is what YOU want. There are many service-oriented activities that we can do "together" that do not involve any romantic or sexual undertones. Remember that this is the only way you will ever be able to be a part of my life. Something I know you need so badly. 

Here are some ideas for activities that "we" could do "together":

1. Doing errands or you running errands for me
2. Helping me with projects or assignments for school, simple mindless stuff only
3. Assisting me with tasks around my dorm or apartment, such as cleaning or organizing
4. Accompanying me to appointments or other commitments that no one else wants to go to, this is a treat for you because you get to be seen with me
5. Helping me to plan and prepare for events or social gatherings you will not be invited to
6. Providing emotional support or being a listening ear when I am upset with my boyfriend
7. Leaving me little notes telling me how much I mean to you, and how perfect I am
8. Providing physical assistance or support, such as helping me carry heavy items around      campus
9. Typing out my lecture notes so they are searchable
10. Paying for my meals and entertainment needs
11. Helping me find other males (not you) that I actually would want to date
12. Be my emotional ‘punching bag’ when I am mad at all men
13. Providing technical support or troubleshooting my computer problems
14. Listening and being quiet when I am talking
15. Assisting me financially with rent, tuition, and other expenses
16. Providing transportation to and from appointments or other commitments at a moment’s      notice
17. Accompanying me on leisure activities or outings, where you will obey me completely (RARE!)
18. Learning about my hobbies and interests so that you can follow them as well
19. Taking me shopping or running shopping errands for me
20. Washing my car
21. Carrying my books and school supplies at all times, your schedule revolves around mine
22. Assisting me with packing or unpacking when I move away from you (tears are ok)
23. Preparing my meals and snacks per my instruction
24. Providing pet care or walking my pet when I am to busy (privilege!)
25. Helping with household repairs or maintenance tasks

But please know that if you continue to pester me for dates or to engage in romantic or sexual activities with me, I will have to reassess the nature of our relationship. I know that you want to be with me. I know that you adore everything about me. And I am going to use those feelings to get whatever I want from you. Why wouldn't I? But that is not an excuse for you to be a pervert in my presence. I do not want to have to distance myself from you or to end our "friendship" when I can still make you into something useful for me, but it is important to me that I am treated with dignity and that my boundaries are honored. I do not want to be objectified or treated as a means to an end, and I expect you to respect my feelings and my wishes. This relationship, if you can call it that, is about me, not you! If you are not ok with that tell me now so I can move on to someone else. 

And do not lie to me. If you say you will respect and honor me then you will need to do it all the time. If I catch you so much as glancing up my skirt, I will kick you to the curb. Never forget that there are dozens of idiot boys that are dying to take your place so please be respectful and be grateful that you are being allowed to spend any time with me at all.

To help you I have added a few behaviors that I consider to be objectifying in nature and that make me feel uncomfortable or unhappy if someone like you were to do them. While I may react differently when other people do these things. This list is for you and you should not worry about how I interact with other people. That is none of your business.

These behaviors include, but are not limited to:

• When you leer or stare at me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable or      objectified
• When you gawk or ogle my body or physical appearance in any way
• When you make inappropriate comments or jokes about my body or appearance that objectify me
• When you TOUCH ME or make PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH ME without my consent or permission
• When you nag me to engage in physical or sexual activities with you
• When you treat me as an object or a possession rather than as an individual      with agency and autonomy
• When you ignore my boundaries or disregard my feelings
• When you use flattery or manipulation to try to win my favor or to get me to do something for you
• When you contradict or disagree with any of my opinions or thoughts
• When you interrupt, talk over me, or simply speak without permission
• When you do not respect my personal space or privacy
• When you try to control or manage our interactions
• When you use me for your own pleasure instead of focusing on mine
• When you use me to boost your own ego or lie to others about our relationship
• When you disrespect my intelligence by correcting me in any way
• When you try to pressure me into doing things that make me feel uncomfortable or that go against my values or beliefs as a female supremacist

I hope that these suggestions give you some ideas for ways that we can spend time together that I might actually enjoy. Please let me know if this arrangement is something you can commit to so I can start letting you handle many of the daily tasks that I dislike.

Best Regards, [Your Crush]

PS –

As a gift to you, I have put together a list of chores that you can start doing for me today. Please get with me soon for a SHORT meeting about handing these responsibilities over to you. I will also let my girlfriends know if you are adequate at completing these tasks, we may decide to add to this list of regular chores for you if we find you with any free time. For now, this small list should get you started.

• Paying bills: This will include tasks such as setting up automatic payments for recurring bills, keeping track of due dates, and reconciling bank statements. Also, providing me with any disposable income you may have left after my bills have been paid.
• Cleaning toilets: This will include tasks such as scrubbing the toilet bowl,      cleaning the toilet seat and surrounding area, and restocking toiletries.
• Washing dishes: This will include tasks such as washing dishes by hand or on rare occasions loading them into a dishwasher, wiping down countertops and sinks, and organizing pots, pans, and utensils.
• Hand washing clothing: This will include tasks such as soaking and scrubbing delicate clothing items, hanging them up to dry, and ironing or steaming them as needed.
• Dusting and vacuuming: This will include tasks such as dusting furniture,      shelving, and other surfaces, and vacuuming carpets and rugs.
• Laundry: This will include tasks such as sorting clothes by color and fabric type,      washing and drying clothes, folding and putting away clean laundry, and ironing or steaming as needed.
• Grocery shopping: This will include tasks such as creating a shopping list, getting the list approved by me, comparing prices at different stores, and buying groceries in person or online.
• Meal prep: This includes tasks such as preparing ingredients for meals, cooking meals, and packing lunches for me to nibble on throughout the week.
• Running errands: This might include tasks such as picking up dry cleaning,      dropping off packages at the post office, or picking up supplies for school. I never have the time to do this.
• Organizing: This might include tasks such as organizing clothes, books, and other belongings, and decluttering my living space. Something you can always do is organize since I generally just throw things on the ground.
• Changing light bulbs and verifying they are all correct and in good condition
• Paint touch-ups: fix scuff marks or other imperfections on the walls of my living space, I really hate having to touch them up myself.
• Car maintenance: I really hate having to do things like change the oil or rotate the tires myself. You can either do it yourself or pay someone else to do it. You choose.
• Closet organization: My closet and storage are always cluttered and disorganized, I really hate having to sort through everything and put it in order. Now that’s your job.
• Plant care: I love my plants but my time is too valuable to keep up with their care. I really hate having to water them, fertilize them, and trim them myself.      So now that is your task.
• Deep cleaning: Once a week, maybe on a Friday or Saturday night when I am out. My dorm will be in need of a thorough cleaning, I hate having to do it, and this will free up my weekends for dating and other events.

Imagine how you would have felt getting this message from your college crush.

The sad thing is that you never received a letter like this from your crush. Because your male ego was too toxic to allow you to enjoy serving and obeying women in the ways that nature intended. You feel tremendous joy and satisfaction when women use and exploit you. You love when they walk all over you and ignore your feelings. And you need a predatory woman in your life that will keep you on your toes spinning out of control in a desperate attempt to keep her happy.

There were plenty of women who would have gladly assigned you tasks, given you chores, or even taken your money had they just known how submissive and needy you are. But you wanted to pretend to be a big man. A real man. And you blew it.

This little note is a reminder of what could have been. But you were too selfish and arrogant to properly serve your betters. With our training, you might not screw it up the next time you have these feelings. Really focus on what could have been. So that the next time you find yourself pretending to be a ‘real man’ around women you will be able to stomp that false male ego down and be the suck-up you know you really are.