Shadowcroft Year 3 - Chapter Twenty-Three

Inga finally relented. <Very well, Logan. We’ll call it a murder factory, but we can’t use the name Willy Wonka. Thanks to all of your culturally specific references, I’ve taken it upon myself to extensively study copyright laws throughout the multiverse. While dungeoneers are bad, IP attorneys are so much worse. Even I’ve heard of Disney.>

Logan didn’t even blink at that one. Out of all the weirdness, the fact that Disney had multidimensional IP lawyers seemed like the least weird thing he’d heard all day. <Fine. We’ll call it Wally Wanko’s Murder Factory. If only we had Marko, he could use his gravity manipulations, A.K.A. juggling, for the soda pop room and some kind of candy blade fans. That’s a pipe dream, though. But I’ll still want a conveyor belt room, and we definitely need a chocolate river, boiling hot and deadly. Do you think we can build a boat?>

Inga didn’t even pause. They were already mapping out the general set up. <We’ll want minions and traps up front,> she sent. <We can turn the soda pop river into chocolate, very hot chocolage, and use it to connect the two parts of the dungeon. It will be splendid!>Logan then had the idea of turning the cavern into a grand staircase that led down to the chocolate river. But the entrance would be equally as grand. They could create a huge gate with the name of the factory stamped up high. Then it would be a gumdrop path that led up to the front doors, which they could cut into the rock candy cliffs, kind of like Petra, the UNESCO World Heritage Site in the Kingdom of Jordan back on Earth.

Logan contemplated the natural aspects of the cavern. <Those stalactites are rounded, but you could fly some waddlers up there, right?>

Mariah looked dubious. She squeaked suspiciously. “Mushrooms not growing on the ground tend to suffer from vertigo. I prefer to verti-stay.”

Inga winced. <Why am I not surprised your skullcap waddler floor boss has the same sense of humor as you?>

Logan was on a roll. <We fly Mariah and some waddlers up to the stalactites, maybe some Kurrybooboos, and they lick the candy until it’s razor sharp.>

<Sharp candy?> Inga’s antennae shrank as her brow furrowed.

<Trust me, Inga. You don’t even understand the connect of sharp until you’ve had a candy cane, sucked on by a five-year old, until it has a tip that can punch through a molecule. Your Lunar Horror Creations can fly them up to the roof, and we can make hidden roosts for them. When the time is right, we trigger the trap. Stalactite spears fall, and we have my skullcap waddlers riding in on your killer moths.>

Inga’s excitement filled the bare inner sanctum. <Yes! I love it. One thing I was thinking, we’ve been taught to maximize Apothos usage to fill up space, but I’m sensing that with this dungeon, the malleable nature of the candy environment will allow us more freedom to use blank spaces and ruined rooms. If we do this right, we can imbue the atmosphere with an unsettling sense of foreboding—like a derelict business going bankrupt. What if Wally Wanko is past his prime? What if his business is failing, and he has gone insane? To deal with his fears and disappointments, he created a twisted world of bittersweet memories of more successful times. Would that be a good backstory?>

Logan had to take a minute. <Inga, that’s so Marko of you! But yes, I think we definitely work on that theme. The boat we create for the lava chocolate river can be dilapidated, but we’ll need to make it seaworthy. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s map this out and get started.>

Connected to the dungeon, Logan showed Inga the basic design. From the imposing rock candy gates, the raiders would take the gumdrop walkway to the front doors which would open into the reception room. Logan considered putting a trap on the gumdrop walkway—maybe add some explosions—but no, they would lull raiders into a false sense of security with a normal pathway.

Then, when they reached the reception room, that was where Inga’s hideously powerful Golden Centipede Spartan floor boss, Roy Boy, would be waiting. They’d have working at a reception desk itself while a hoard of other insectile horrors hide in the walls, waiting for their chance to strike. Strange, that the candy room would vomit out giant insects. It was perfect. And it was a kill room, where they should be able to take out least one of the dungeoneers. It was a tactic that they’d used during their Freshman year finals. Instead of playing it safe early on, they’d front load the entryway with some of their toughest minions.

Also in the reception room would be a cheery fountain, with a depiction of Wally Wanko himself, who would look like Logan when he was in his first fungaloid form—a happy little mushroom man topped with a top hat, holding a cane, and wearing a brand-new purple suit. Thematically, this would be Wally Wanko at his most cheerful. If the raiders made it to the inner sanctum, or even to the Conveyor Belt Hell room, they would find Logan’s current form, which was tall, dark, and twisted. His suit would be full of holes, the cane would be gone, and the hat would be evil.

Such an evil hat…

The reception room’s fountain would also serve as the first of Logan’s digestion pits. And the minute they crafted the fountain, they started loading it up with jawbreaker boulders. The white, bespeckled stones were absolutely everywhere. Logan had some plans for those, but he soon realized something else. He couldn’t make his Crimson Coral, but Inga, with the help of her Lunar Horror Creations ability, could take the jawbreaker material transform it into neigh-indestructible armor with a little bit of elbow grease. It was a subtle act of crafting. The newly minted armor were endogenous manifestations that would never survive outside of the dungeon walls, but the minions didn’t need to leave the confines of the dungeon.

This was purely defensive.

Logan tried, and he was able to use the jawbreaker armor as well. That would tie all the of themes together—candy, mushrooms, and insects.

To be sure, Inga’s candy-coated centipedes added a sense of the macabre to Wally Wanko’s Murder Factory. And that meant Mariah could have her own armor as well, speckled white jawbreaker covering her mushy mushroom body. But since Logan couldn’t summon her staff, they still needed to manufacture a suitable weapon.

Logan kept his mind open as they continued to meticulously build their dungeon.

The reception room connected to the Delicious Hallway of Bubblegum Doorways. Those doors on the left would lead to boring office rooms—mostly derelict spaces, full of either crumbling rock candy walls or filing cabinets full of bogus documents. These would also be endogenous manifestations, relatively cheap as far as Apothos was concerned.

One of the filing cabinet rooms would have giant centipedes tucked away as well as one of Inga’s Chrysalis Jewels, just a little taste of the treasures to come.

It was always good to tease raiders with potential riches.

Meanwhile, the bubblegum doorways on the right would lead to the Grand Cavern Staircase and Fun Land, which was a whimsical place of green sugar-crystal grass, and imposing rock candy stalactites and stalagmites. They changed the formations to be red, not striped, which matched the green of the sugary grass and the white of the thick frosting that lay across the room like frozen snow.

A gleaming fondant staircase would circle around a burbling pit of killer fungi, Logans’ second digestion pit. The Grand Cavern Staircase and Fun Land would have the falling the stalactites and along with Logan’s minions, all mounted on Inga’s Lunar Horror Moths like a Na’vi riding a toruk.

Inga had more questions. What was fondant? What was a Na’vi? And what was a toruk?

Logan explained the thick, French frosting as well as the big blue people and the giant birds from the movie, Avatar. Logan started to talk about the sequels, which was a daring gambit for any production company, but Inga silenced him immediately. Specific cultural references wouldn’t help them.

The fondant on the stairs wasn’t just for show, however. It served to conceal slabs of thick, yellow quicksand cake—hot, undercooked, and extremely gooey. While trudging down the steps, the raiders would eventually find themselves knee deep in molten hot baked goods, slogging through a confectionary bog, which was as delicious as it was deadly. They’re movements would be severely hindered when the ceiling came falling down and the monsters attacked.

Logan had another epiphany. There was some strange rock that smelled like spearmint. It was actually wintermint, and it had magical properties. It was very cold and could drop the temperature of a room. The wintermint candy would also make amazing spears.

With only a little concentration, he had a weapon for Mariah!

The whole place had so much magic running through it, that some of the building materials had special abilities. It was how they could turn the soda pop river into a molten lava chocolate river.

Speaking of which…

Assuming the raiders survived the Reception Room, traverse the Grand Cavern Staircase and Fun Land, they would eventually find themselves down on the Dum Dum Docks—a whole pier made out of Dum Dums, which was a nice foreshadowing of the Game of Lollipops Throne, the last bit of grandeur left for Wally Wanko.

There on the Dum Dum docks, the dungeoneers would board the Good Ship Smartie, a whole boat made of magical Smarties resting on ridiculously hot chocolate. At the bow, Mariah would be waiting for the raiders, decked out in jawbreaker armor and wielding a wintermint spear that had a fifteen percent chance of slowing enemies with a successful strike. They’d also added a variety of openings to her Jawbreaker armor so she could pour out narcotic spores from her gills.

They couldn’t well block those up. Logan wanted to make sure that the boat ride was as psychedelic as possible. Just like in the movie.

The raiders not driven to the edge of insanity by the boat ride would arrive at the Gummy Bear Docks, which would invariably take them to the Enchanted Candy Forest. If they didn’t get off the boat, there was a secret pier down the way, right before the rapids smashed the boat to pieces and killed any adventurers still on board.

Most likely, though, the raiders would debark for the Enchanted Candy Forest, where a myriad of even more horrific creatures awaited. Logan and Inga went for a dark, sugary Mirkwood feel to it, and that included giant spiders on cotton candy webs. The webs themselves were pink and blue, but the spiders were covered in a rubbery coating of gummy bear material, which looked rather horrific against that bulging black bodies. The gummy armor on their cephalothorax and abdomen allowed their legs more movement. Their fangs dripped with venom that tasted like root beer.

Logan sampled it. It was very rooty.

He hadn’t loved spiders back when he’d been human, but now, hanging out with Inga and her love of cosmic etymology, he now found them oddly endearing in a strange sort of way. They were so hideous that they became cute, especially perched in their neon-bright spun sugar webs. Sampling their venom was peculiar, sure, but it wasn’t like the deadly toxin could hurt him. One of his passive fungal form powers was Poison Immunity. He had no immunity against delicious root beer.

Square in the center of the Enchanted Candy Forest was the last of Logan’s digestion pits, which was already busy breaking down more jawbreaker boulders. Those boulders were filled with potent Terra Apothos, which could be stripped of Affinity and repurposed. With the influx of energy from the Celestial Node and the Pure Apothos from the boulders, Logan was able to generate more minions, including a whole regiment of Kurrybooboos. The adorable cleric mushrooms were going to be everywhere, providing healing for their troops.

The main exit from the Enchanted Candy Forest snaked through the trees. However, there were two side exits that lead them to dual jawbreaker boulder traps straight out of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc. Logan liked that both side passageways had the same trap because there was a chance that the raiders would think the coast would be clear and be less prepared.

However, if they followed the pathway to the main exit, it would funnel them into the Wintermint Corridor, which was a rocky passageway, riddled with spikes. The air was so cold in the cramped corridor, that it would supernaturally slow the raiders. If they took a passageway to the left, it would lead them a supposedly empty room, but the floor was made from moonsand. It would act like quicksand. While they fought to free themselves, Inga’s nearly invisible Tsuki ants would descend on the trapped raiders like a Biblical plague.

Logan felt bad about that trap. Well, almost.

The passageway to the right of the Wintermint Corridor would be full of Logan’s waddlers and spore wargs, who would come charging into the corridor while the dungeoneers struggled against the biting cold.

If the dungeoneers made it to the end of the Wintermint Corridor, they would enter the pièce de résistance: the Conveyor Belt Hell Room, which would have the last of their minions prepared to bring death upon the raiders. Along with the monsters, the room would be full of conveyor belts carrying different colors of explosive candies and chocolates.

Treacle had spent days working with both Logan and Inga to make sure they understood the basics of crafting with Mallus, or kinetic energy, and Fulgur, or electrical-based Apothos. The candy materials were so malleable, that were able to fill them Mallus. Logan made the joke about malleable Mallus. Inga didn’t laugh.

The final dungeon was nothing like Logan or Inga would’ve ever planned on, but in the end, the world of Sucrosia had been a blessing to them.

A platform in Conveyor Belt Hell, where the raiders would enter, had a view of the inner sanctum, the grand throne room of Wally Wanko, which would be guarded by both Logan and Inga. Logan would be playing the titular character of Wally Wanko—the once jovial candy lord now perverted by his failures and a life of excess—a nod to Marko.

Piled around the dilapidated throne would be heaps of Chrysalis Jewels. The Gemstone Butterflies would fluttering through the air, drifting on an unfelt breeze. As an homage to Logan, it would also be full of candy mushrooms, which were for decoration only. However, they gave that throne room a strangeness that Logan appreciated. He knew that Marko was watching, and the satyr would be so proud of them. Thematically, their dungeon was perfect!

All during the setup, though, Logan was worried that at any minute, they’d discover dungeoneers at their doorstep. Since they didn’t have any active raiders, Inga’s Golden Spartan Centipede stood sentry at the reception room, keeping an eye out.

Even if the floor boss didn’t see anything, Logan and Inga could feel any movement in their dungeon’s AOI, or area of influence, which extended well beyond the entrance.

So far, no one had showed. Another blessing.

They worked overnight, so by Monday around noon, they were ready.

Exhausted but satisfied, Logan rested on his throne, one leg draped over the armrest. Inga sat on a sugar toadstool near him, looking almost as tired as Logan felt. She also looked worried.

Thanks to their symbiotic bond, he didn’t even have to ask her what was bothering her. Her thoughts were splayed out before him like a picture book. She was nervous about a team of raiders showing up that weren’t on the list they’d prepared for.

<We got this,> Logan sent. <I have to say, this is our best dungeon yet. It has so many kill rooms and innovative traps. Plus working with the candy has been a lot easier than shaping stone.>

Inga gave him an uncertain smile. <While I appreciate your talents as a motivational speaker, it doesn’t change the fact that an S-Class dungeoneer could show up and destroy us. I don’t want that. My journey at Shadowcroft has been… very unexpected. We’ve had so many adventures together and I’m not ready for them to end.>

<They won’t,> Logan assured her. <Even if our cores get shattered, we’ll go on, Inga, in the Tree of Souls. But that’s not going to happen. We have our amazing minions. We have our traps. We have a plan. No matter who comes through that entryway, all we have to do is execute our vision and we’re going to walk away, victorious.>

Logan meant every word. In the end, though, Inga was right.

There was no telling who would show up at their door. But that was what it meant to be a dungeon core in the real world. This is what life was like every day for those who graduated from Shadowcroft. Danger came with territory. So long as they followed the plan, fought smart, and worked together as a team, Logan was certain that there was nothing they couldn’t overcome.