Life Update

   Hello everyone, I've been rather quiet for far too long. I figured I owe you all an explanation as to why.

        I'm really, very tired. I recently got a new job at a Pita Pit in the PSU (Portland State University) area, have been regularly donating blood plasma twice a week, and working on finishing the writing and story portion of My Earthly Home. On top of that, we just made it out of allergy season (of which, I have it chronically bad) and have been otherwise sick or so exhausted, I've been sleeping my days away (I slept 18 hours from Friday afternoon until the late morning of Saturday). Then, of course, I have been fighting depression which has mostly settled down for a while, thank you God.

   I have been at my limit for a good long while. Pushing myself to 150% all the time for the past ten years has left me at about 20% functional capacity for even the most basic of things. I've been letting myself become dehydrated because I'm too tired to get up and drink water, which in turn leaves me more tired to get up and drink water. Donating my plasma hasn't helped here but, please don't worry, they test my blood for hydration levels before donating and I have always been within the safe boundaries (I also took last month off to replenish). 

   A lot of creatives like myself struggle with this work/life balance. For me especially, I feel like "Well, I've wasted this much time being sick/depressed/incapacitated, that should count as a vacation," and I go back to work, smacking against a wall wondering why I'm still too tired.

   For the most part, though, things are getting better. My income has improved, I have somewhere to be to recharge my social meter on a regular basis... Quality of life is finally starting to become comfortable rather than making do.

   I am currently saving up for a new computer, a good one, since that is really the final technological barrier I have standing before me. My computer is a high-end PC... from 2009. Has a video card from 2014 at least (GT 640, lol). Photoshop is lagging so badly and I'm running out of RAM too quickly for simple character designs with minimal layers. Sometimes crashing and corrupting (I always run backups!).

   So, all in all, stuck between recovery and that "invisible work" I always talk about. I'm writing; can't show it. I'm fixing my finances, technology, and body; can't really show that either. Character designs are roughed but I can't finish them.

   *sigh*

   Working hard or hardly working. That is the question.

  [Thank you all for sticking with me. It's a painfully slow process that's... well, painful. Even though I'm trying to cross the ocean in a canoe, at least I have a paddle. I'd be dead in the water without you guys. Thank you.]