Patron Spotlight: Josh Simons

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When I told Josh Simons, known as @JoshuaMSimons in the twittersphere, that the random generator gods had seen fit to make him my June Patron spotlight, at first he wasn’t sure what kind of interview we should do. Unlike the cosplayers and creators who have been previously featured, Josh didn’t have a particular project or craft he wanted to highlight — instead, we settled on sharing a “fun story,” one in which Josh says he was “young, stupid, and learned an important lesson.”

Josh works in healthcare in the Chicagoland area and plays, by his own admission, “a LOT of D&D.” He grew up as both a sports nerd and a theater kid, and proceeded to pursue education in Business, Humanities, Philosophy, English Literature, and Music Theory. He continues to be an overachiever post-graduation: He plays in three D&D campaigns and DMs a fourth, plays a few musical instruments, brews his own beer, and does Tough Mudders with his dad. 

To get back to when Josh was young and stupid, we’ll have to rewind to 2013. “I was in New York City for school,” he told me. As a theater kid in New York, he was living the dream. “As often as I could afford it, I would go see shows both on and off Broadway.”

Josh had been corresponding with a girl on a dating app. She was also interested in musical theater, so he pitched a date idea: They would go see “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee,” a show that Josh lovingly describes as “kind of goofy.” He’d performed in the show in high school, and was eager to see it from the audience instead of the stage. Unfortunately, the show wasn’t playing nearby. “I searched far and wide for a performance,” he said, “and eventually found one in Hoboken, New Jersey, just across the river from NYC.”

At first, the date went smoothly enough. But when it came time to transfer buses, the trouble started. “We found ourselves at an intersection waiting for one of two bus numbers to arrive at our stop,” Josh recalled. “When the first one arrived, I asked the driver whether or not it was the right bus, and he told me that he could get us close, but still a few blocks away from our destination.”

A few blocks? Josh was confident that he and his date could handle that. He knew there was a stop about two blocks from the theater and assumed that was the one the driver was talking about. But when the driver booted Josh and his date off the bus at the end of the line, they were still nowhere near the theater. “My poor date and I wound up running about two miles in 80° heat in order to catch the show on time,” he said. “I have never had a date go as poorly as that one did, and I don't think she ever forgave me.”

Josh learned something important from this experience. Was it to plan ahead, or carry a map, or never trust bus drivers? Was it to always wear running shoes on dates?

Nope. Josh has one message for you, fellow Patrons: “Never go to New Jersey without a car.”