"Casting a Spell" — Rulebook Rock mp3

And finally, the last of the three new songs I'm releasing for the Rulebook Rock EP in July! I won't be creating music videos for these, but they'll be distributed to streaming platforms.

Rulebook Rock is inspired by Schoolhouse Rock, an educational children's musical program from the 70s, 80s, and 90s. This particular song is based on I'm Just a Bill and features my spellcaster characters Wisteria, Augury, and Edith.

Lyrics

GINNY (spoken)
Phew, you sure gotta know a lotta rules to be a spellcaster in D&D! What’s a cantrip? And how do spell slots work, anyway? Any advice?

WISTERIA
Casting a spell, yes we’re casting a spell
To deal some damage or to heal the unwell
But now we’ve come to some confusion ‘bout how spellcasting works
And we don’t always have the slots to Scorching Ray all these jerks
But we really want to make them pay, if there was only a way we could tell what to do when we’re casting a spell?

GINNY (spoken)
Holy gelatinous cube, spellcasting sure sounds complicated! Does that mean I can’t just cast as many spells as I want?

AUGURY (spoken)
That’s right! Easy spells are free, but more powerful ones cost more. Think of spell slots like gold coins that you can spend on magic. As you level up, your budget grows! After all, all magic has a price...

AUGURY
Casting a spell, indeed we’re casting a spell
It’s like drawing from a limited well
And now we’re paging through the rulebook for a list we can read
To see what kind of power Magic Missile might need
It looks like it’s a level one, and we still have a ton, cross it off then we’re done when we’re casting a spell.

GINNY (spoken)
I don’t know, that monster looks pretty powerful! Will Magic Missile be strong enough to make a difference?

WISTERIA (spoken)
That’s a good question! You can always cast a spell with a higher level spell slot, and some of them even get more powerful. In this case, every level gets you another magic missile.

GINNY (spoken)
Hot diggity blink dog! That’s amazing!

EDITH
Casting a spell, you know we’re casting a spell
And maybe Guiding Bolt is all good and well
But when we’re fighting bigger monsters and we need some more juice
We might need a few more damage dice to kick their caboose
Why not cast it at a level five, kick it to overdrive, it’ll never survive when we’re casting a spell.

GINNY (spoken)
Gee wizard! Thanks everybody, I think I’m ready to play a caster class now!

WISTERIA (spoken)
Oh no, you’re definitely not. Spellcasting is way too complicated to fit into one song! You still need to learn about verbal, somatic, and material components, and ritual casting, and scrolls… but it’s a good start.

WISTERIA
Now we know the way we can tell what to do when we’re casting a spell!

EDITH (spoken)
And maybe don’t pick a class where you have to dedicate your life to becoming a conduit for divine power. How ‘bout the one where you’re just… born with it?

AUGURY (spoken)
Oh, don’t even get me started on Sorcery Points…