Hot Dog Appreciation Day: Jaguar Grapes

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that when we go surfing together, one of us surfs and the other is the board.

But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where “barnfind” can mean a forgotten car, a possum nest, or a new romance.

The kids these days have it easy, with their streaming and their video games. Time used to be you had Price is Right, Susan Lucci, or staring out the window. Sissyneck was a Window Boy.

Sissyneck realizes it’s not about the taquito and Fresca allowance you get, but the themed daddy’s you meet along the way.

Now let’s move on to the Comments, where it’s working! The whole Jason Pargin Pre-Order Grift is working. Somebody show this to him so he has to keep doing BIGFEETS.

Viewmaster is talking about the time Seanbaby found a book called Renovo Storytellers, easily one of the worst books to ever How to Dry Herbs: The Complete DIY Herb Drying Guide, by Sally Ann Johnson Copyright 2015-

Mordred proves that we’re really making a meaningful difference in the world. Some people want to provide clean water to third world countries, some want higher education to be free, we just want you to hear “martial arts master” and think “panda sweater.”

Stephanie was the kid who looked for the Nintendo Seal of Quality on every game, and got burned every, single, time.

Skebotron has seen behind the veil, and some truths cannot be unseen. No matter the cost!

Craig has uncovered the Hot Dog Secret Agenda: reintroducing basic reading comprehension to the internet.

Now on to the Discord, where we’re all wondering one important question: If you passed the Buddha on the highway, what kind of truck would he be?

If you said a “nirVANa” that’s cute, but the real answer was to run him off the road.

Any other community would read this insane paragraph from Dennard’s The Predatory Female and go for the easy scrotum jokes. We’re so proud of you all for choosing the harder, more obscure, less rewarding jokes about A Frames.

Adrienne only had one problem with the Gorilla Flow commercial - no, not the piss insecurity, the incontinent patricide, the extinction of the mountain gorilla, none of that. She just wanted to know: What about the ladies?

John Fenley knows 1900HOTDOG exists to mock him, he has to – we’re all up in his SEO. But if he didn’t before, Velo made sure he does now.

Velo won last month for introducing us all to Gorilla Flow, the gift that keeps on giving for 30 straight seconds at full force. It would be insane for him to win twice in a row, so our winner is Velo! Look, if sabotaging a political campaign doesn’t earn you the world’s only picture of martial arts master Jackie Chan looking bashful in his adorable little outfit-

-then we don’t know what does. Take care of it Velo, there’s only one and you know that, since you won this exact picture last month.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll steal the unregistered domain for their active political campaign and redirect it right here, just so they can read this sentence: WE’RE BEHIND YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

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