Monthly Q&A! Are suicidal thoughts bad?
Added 2016-08-05 17:21:09 +0000 UTC1. Could you talk about severe anxiety in possible 'sexual' situations? Even as innocent as dancing with a man in a pub or club make me so uncomfortable when they touch me. How can I de-attach myself from feeling this way in specific situation?
2. I don't really know how to word this but could you talk a bit about suicidal thoughts ... I DONT want to commit suicide but I do think of it a lot, I think of it when I am in situations where it could be possible to do it and how. This has been going on for about a year now, a few months back I witnessed someone trying to take their own life on the train tracks (they got off the tracks just in time) and I was the only person out of about 20 people who went over and supported them until help came. Why didn't others come to help? This really opened my eyes to my own issues and reaffirmed that I don't want to do that or be in a position so out of control! But I still can't stop thinking about it…
3. Can you maybe talk about the difference between intrusive thoughts and flash backs please.
4. I’ve been seeing my therapist for a year now and recently she suggested having sessions every other week instead of every week. I get it- I don't really work on anything in therapy, we basically just talk for an hour about what's going on in my life. There are so many things that I dislike about myself and my life, but I haven't told her about them or I've brushed them off as not that important to me. I want to start actually doing some work, but I don't even have a goal besides 'be a different person' or 'look like a different person.' How do I communicate this when she seems to think we're doing so well?
Comments
Hi Kati. I have a related thought to the flashback versus intrusive thoughts. I experienced three deaths in the past three years (my grandpa and two kittens.....all of this is what triggered my ED to act up again). Anyways, I often have what I call flashbacks of what they looked like or the trauma of finding out my kittens body was shutting down etc. I try to get the thoughts out of my mind. My husband thinks they are just memories not flashbacks. How do I know the difference?
Em
2017-06-24 02:57:27 +0000 UTCHehe, thank you x it's not been reported yet x my friends boyfriend is a defence lawyer and pretty much helped me to see its all too raw atm, but it will get reported once I'm strong enough x
Nicky Fitch
2016-10-11 21:19:09 +0000 UTCI hope it went well!! You got this!!! :) xoxo
Kati Morton
2016-10-11 20:53:23 +0000 UTCI see my counsellor tomorrow. I have written her a letter for me to read out. Once she has heard It, she will have to report it. So tomorrow is the day. I'm so scared Kati!
Nicky Fitch
2016-10-09 10:42:02 +0000 UTCThanks Kati! I see my counsellor on Monday so I think we'll spend the whole appointment talking it through. I don't know if he will do it again - and he knew it was wrong and did it anyway. They are my two reasons atm. Thinking that I may get closure from this too. What he made me do to him, he can easily make boys do it too. It's so bloody hard though! It's all I'm thinking about! I do think I am going to report him. I just don't know when x will definitely keep you posted - thank you for taking time to reply x x You looked good on the red carpet at the steamys BTW!
Nicky Fitch
2016-10-06 22:08:54 +0000 UTCI would honestly only report him if you worried that he was still doing it to someone else.. or if it would help you move past it more quickly in therapy. Have you talked with your therapist about it?? I would also hear them out and decide what's best for you and your recovery. As a side note, it is hard to go through that process, so make sure you have a lot of support should you decide to report him. It can bring a lot of stuff up.. xoxo Keep me posted okay?? xoxo
Kati Morton
2016-10-06 21:21:16 +0000 UTC#KatiFAQ ... I was sexually abused by my brother from the age of 11 to 16. He would have been 13 to 18/19. I never reported him to the police. As a family, we cut him off and I felt that was enough. I am in my 3rd lot of counselling to deal with what happened and tbh, I am starting to question if I should have reported him? I am now 32. He has his own children now. I am starting to question his motives behind my abuse. Would it make ANY difference if I WAS to report him after so long? (Although I'm in the UK) x x
Nicky Fitch
2016-10-04 21:46:09 +0000 UTCOf course :) Happy to help! xoxo
Kati Morton
2016-08-15 18:13:14 +0000 UTCThankyou x
Jennifer Mackay
2016-08-12 17:42:59 +0000 UTCThankyou so much x
Jennifer Mackay
2016-08-12 17:41:45 +0000 UTCHi Jennifer, Oh my, Please know you are not alone with this, and I totally understand what you are going through, the pain and how distressing the thoughts are. and the ones of visualizing the suicide are so traumatizing, I thought like I was the only person and have only been talking about them today with the insurance providers MH crisis support nurse. I have wanted to die since I was 10, which is when I took my first OD, and today I had a thought that because I had wanted to die for so long, maybe now its just a default reaction, I am not saying it is for you, but because I know I dont want to live, as I have no reason to, whenever things get to a point where I cant take anymore, then I am back to thinking and planning. For some reason I think in pictures, so i have visualized this in my mind like a voicemail message for myself, (strange I know) and I now needed to change what I heard when I called myself, I haven't found a new recording yet, I am working on it, I don't know if this is right, or if it will work, but I just wanted to share it with you just in case it might help you. Thinking of you, and sending lots of love :) xxx
Angela Everett
2016-08-12 01:32:45 +0000 UTCHey Jennifer :) I am so sorry that you are struggling so much right now and feeling so stuck. Yes they will go away and stop, but you are going to have to keep talking about them in therapy. I know they have brushed them off in the past, but keep talking about it and bringing it up. Mention how distressing the thoughts are and how you want them to go away. I think just having someone hear you and work with you on them can give a little hope and lessen the thoughts. xoxo
Kati Morton
2016-08-06 00:19:22 +0000 UTCHey Nancy :) It's actually very normal & part of the recovery process! Here is a video I did about that feeling :) I hope it helps!! xoox <a href="https://youtu.be/FIiagjxdBPc" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/FIiagjxdBPc</a>
Kati Morton
2016-08-06 00:15:59 +0000 UTCHi Jennifer - I am sorry to read how stuck you are feeling. I often get those suicidal thoughts and I hate them too - they make you feel so much worse and hopeless the more they occur and if they have been happening to you that long no wonder it's affecting you this much. One thing I was told (when I was speaking to someone about how much the thoughts bother me) is as soon as those thoughts enter your mind, visualise kicking the thoughts away and remind yourself that those thoughts have never helped you in the past (and you have 26yrs of evidence of this) so kick the thought away (easier said than done) but have something to replace the thought with. I replace it with "what's something I can do that I know will lift my mood" and I think about that. It's usually taking my dog for a walk, hot shower and lavender massage oil afterwards, getting in the garden or an up coming holiday plan, anything that can distract myself from the thought. But I also keep coming back to realising that the thoughts have never helped me so it's ok to kick them away. I know this is hard to do but as soon as you have a win with kicking them away successfully in a moment, you will feel a tad stronger. Hope you can get some relief from it all quickly. Hang in there. Xxxx
Amy
2016-08-05 22:20:12 +0000 UTCMy problem is the suicidal thoughts have been there for 26years. I started cutting and overdosing at 12 spent long periods in hospital between ages of 14& 23 now at 38 I haven't attempted suicide (although continue to self injure) or been in a psych ward for 15 yrs but the thoughts are still there and they are just as distressing and scary as the were the 1st time I experienced them all those years ago. I have intrusive images of my suicide and sometimes I worry they are just flash forwards to the day I will die. I don't know what to do, I can't cope with the thoughts. My therapist is aware I get them but it seems that it's not important to anyone as long as I don't act on them but I can't bear the though of the suicidal ideas never stopping. Please tell me if they will ever stop. I feel quite hopeless right now,
Jennifer Mackay
2016-08-05 20:40:40 +0000 UTCHi kati, my question to u is this. Im n therapy, but it seems that my self injury abd purging have gotten worse, could this b because im having to talk about all the details or am i just going crazy! Luv ur videos plz help
Nancy willeford
2016-08-05 17:56:47 +0000 UTC
