What's A Normal Way To Feel? | Scars Are Triggering | Referrals Hurt | Texting A Therapist?
Added 2018-09-08 01:27:38 +0000 UTC1. After being depressed for so long, how do we tell what’s real and what is (was the depression) stress/anxiety? I can't tell if what I am feeling is normal/real or if its just being blinded by depression. I have spent so long learning to not believe my own feelings, with lots of thoughts related to self-harm, suicidal ideation (no current SH/SI) and now learning about an ED after years of depression. I am always trying to decide if a revelation in therapy/life is real or just hiding a relapse or the ED hiding, or even just me trying to trick myself when really I just need to try harder.
2. Dear Kati, I was wondering if you could talk about ways to cope with scars from trauma/abuse. A lot of the time we hear about how to deal with triggers in the world around us (sights, sounds and smells) but how do you cope when you are triggered by your own body. People say scars tell a story but what if you don't want to remember that story. Thank you for all that you do.
3. Hi Kati, when you have referred to another person (psychologist). How do you not feel defeated and like it’s going to fail. I feel like I don’t wanna tell anyone else. It’s been so hard to open up to one person.
4. Recently there was a Facebook post asking if you would consider your therapist texting to check in with you to be crossing boundaries or otherwise not a good practice. The responses from people of yes or no were surprising. From information I've seen, statistically it seems so many have either been contacted or were given a private contact number to text by their therapist. It made me realize that I have never had a therapist even suggest or try contacting me, or give me any direct contact info. It never really occurred to me that this is a possibility with any therapists or psychiatrists I've seen. They seemed so busy that they just wanted me to be gone at the end of the session and not have to be thought about until the next one. Maybe not fair to them but to someone trying to improve a feeling of self worth, it nevertheless felt that way. I'm a bit perplexed, I almost want to take it personally that none of them seemed to care that much about me, even when it was pretty dire for me and they knew it. I could ask but shouldn't it be the therapist that offers to text in the first place? Anyway, I feel that if I have to ask, then they probably don't want to go to the trouble and I would just feel like an imposition. Which from my experience with therapists, I kind of do anyway. The more I considered this, the more of a profound impact it has had on me and I’m really wondering if I want to keep seeing the therapist I have now or just stop with therapy altogether if I don’t feel valued as a person. If the most I have been given is a scribbled number for the state hotline because I was told I might need it, well that doesn’t really feel like caring to me. I’m out of options because of insurance to look for anyone else and I really don’t know what to do.
Comments
I live in California. I’ve been fortunate enough to have a therapist who has a separate number for her patients that she has provided me with. She has encouraged me to use it if I feel in crisis or just need to reschedule. She has also provided me with an official crisis number. She’s a good support for me and I can see how much she really cares. I’m sorry that so many others have had such negative experiences but I’d encourage them to keep looking for a better therapist. They are out there. There’s so many strong and resilient people on this platform. You guys are amazing for continuing this process to get better. I know it’s a real struggle for me as well, even with a good support system. I often get discouraged but will keep moving forward
Alyssa
2018-09-08 23:03:27 +0000 UTCMy previous psychiatrist was not reachable. I tried calling many times. This time I call in and say it's an emergency and the receptionist talked around it. There was no way to reach him so I went to the ER. Had he been reachable, I probably wouldn't have went to the ER. Then my previous therapist started canceling our appointments with excuses. I felt like she was taking advantage of me. She just didn't want to go to work. I have many more stories but I agree with you. It's hard to find a solid psychiatrist and therapist. And my insurance only covers so many therapist and psychiatrists. The list is running shorter and shorter.
SWP
2018-09-08 19:32:10 +0000 UTCTo kind of address the last question, I have seen therapists for over 25 years, all over these United States as I've moved around. I hate to say this, but my experience has been that unless you are seeing a private therapist with high-paying private insurance, there is a very small chance that you will find someone who will care or extend themselves very far for you. I have never been given a cell number. Once though, I did have a psychiatrist who had an answering service and who was extremely good about returning calls. God bless him. But most psychiatrists have receptionists who (and it's always unclear to me how complicit the psychiatrists are in this) refuse to allow you to talk to your doctor or even leave a voicemail. And most therapists and psychiatrists now say "If you have some problem, go to the emergency room." There is no weekend or vacation coverage of any sort. But then the ER staff do not seem to be trained to deal with psychiatric patients and often try to dissuade you from being there. "You're not actually suicidal, are you? You wouldn't ever REALLY hurt yourself, would you? Come on." And when it comes to feeling that therapists don't really care, I was in a group once, and someone was actually brave enough to come out and say it. She wasn't obnoxious about it either. She was respectful and phrased it as a tentative question. But the therapist got really annoyed and replied "Look, this is just a job for me." I listen to Daniel Mackler's video's on YouTube, and he helps me. I especially like his video "A Former Therapist's Critique of Psychotherapy." I'm not against therapy. But I do feel that Daniel has a good suggestion that you engage in what he calls "self therapy" as you are going through it. I have seen more bad therapists than I can shake a stick at, and it is so damaging every time. I'm going to keep trying, though. On Monday, I'm going to start all over again. But I'm also going to continue to let my friends in on what's going on in therapy, as well as journaling. It was my friends who let me know my last therapist was being completely inappropriate. I think it's easy for me to blame myself if I don't get outside opinions. Best of luck to the questioner!
Jori Church
2018-09-08 18:53:33 +0000 UTC
