How to gain insight into your illness | Am I actually sick?
Added 2022-11-03 16:49:30 +0000 UTC
Comments
Thanks so much for making this video and all you are doing. I have schizophrenia diagnosed 2019 and first psychotic episode in 2013 . I am a qualified doctor and have worked in psychiatry before. Despite this when i got sick i could not recognise it as i did not get hearing voices but instead delusional memory. I did not get voices or thought broadcasting. I did though think that my house was bugged and email and facebook messages being intercepted. I experienced someone telling me mockingly that they had bugged my house. In a beautiful mind the wife and psychiatrist work hard to prove to John Nash that his delusions are just that. No one did that for me. I was in hospital under a section for 5 months. In the end i realised that the only way to get out was to lie and say ‘ you are right i must be sick’. I had a tribunal coming up so when i did that they quickly released me. It was once I was out of hospital living alone in my own house that i recognised i was sick. At that point, accepting the horrible diagnosis, i became suicidal. I am a born again christian and my faith is very important to me but many of my delusions were religious so once i released i was ill my faith was badly shaken. Without my faith and with such a terrible diagnosis with all the stigma i could not see any point in living. I would say the real battle began when i reached this point as until then i did not actually resent being alive. I felt i was being treated really unfairly but did not wish i was not alive. So insight is good but once it is gained it can lead to suicidal ideation that is quite strong. So be careful relatives. If you have found this page/ resource already you will see that it is possible to live well with schizophrenia and that life can still be worth living. So glad i did not take my own life when i wanted to. Doing the semi colon suicide awareness virtual marathon when i was at this point really helped me. The semi colon symbol represents how in a sentence when you think you have come to an ending there can with a semi colon be a new beginning without their having to be an ending. This reminds us that when all seems bleak and like there has to be an end to life as the solution then actually there can be a new beginning . Hope this helps someone! Xx
2022-11-08 11:11:52 +0000 UTC
I found this really helpful. I’ve experienced anosognosia before and I really wish that my psychiatrist had met me where I was at. Thank you very much for sharing this!
2022-11-08 06:31:18 +0000 UTC
I lived with anosognosia until I got on the first medication that worked for me. It took me a while to realize that it was working. But a number of years later, when they switched me to a medication that didn't work, I had a good relationship with a psychiatric nurse, and I knew that something was wrong. I didn't realize how odd that was until I listened to this video. I am surprised that the anosognosia didn't return at that point. I got back on meds that worked, and I have had no symptoms since then.
