Rest Day (Hi Res)

This is the hi res (~3600 px)! Thank you so much!!

A painting for Sombreve! Some places can make even the most restless of Aeons feel at peace. Time for a lazy afternoon.

Another fun one for Sombreve. Love this character. Always very fun, too, to put big or tough looking characters into peaceful situations. c: So you can imagine how much of a treat this was to paint!

Well, minus the perfectionism that hit me there for a bit. I got pretty annoyed with myself with some of my brushwork for a while, wound up re-doing the background and some bits of Sombreve a few times trying to get it "right". But "right" never came. So, had to try and be happy despite my brain. Which, actually, kind of worked out. Tried a few things near the end to soften things, and with a critique from :userSashaRJones: , to try and add a bit of glow and saturation to some bits in the end. (I think it worked best on the... tattoo? Marking? what's the right word uhh let's go with marking.)

Regardless, big man, big rest, big mood. You guys, gals, and NB-pals already likely know that's my jam. Thank you again, Sombreve, for trusting me with both your big dude and for this idea! Cheers!

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Man. Every time I feel like I'm improving, my brain wants me to feel the opposite, it feels like. I hit a lot of mental hurdles here with this guy.

I mentioned it earlier in the post, but perfectionism is always something I keep struggling with. I never usually feel like I'm doing well enough, so I keep painting and re-painting to try and match the people who have more skill and experience than me. I guess out of a sense of ... jealousy? Envy? My brain likes to tell me that I'm alone in a lot of what I'm doing -- not skilled enough to make up for some of the content I produce, but the content I produce not being enough for the skill level that I am. Like it should be better because of what it is, or that I should be able to draw perspectives, atmosphere, size, bulk, all of that better because of the skill I have and I'm just looking lazy.

It's hard to shake out of once I'm in it. Which happened here for a little bit. Remembering Sasha's critique helped immensely, though. I do still feel, most times, like I don't really have an art community, but getting at least a passing critique from a peer in this field helps stave off that feeling a bit. I just kind of wish I belonged somewhere, that I could share art with others who are sharing art without feeling like I'm shoving myself in or that I'm not there out of pity or as a laughing stock.

I'm proud of the work I do in the end. Even if I tell people, like you all, that I sometimes hated the -process-, I'm always proud of the work I do nowadays. Hating the process is more admitting that I hate the way my brain works, I suppose. That I wish I could work harder, better, faster (, stronger?).

I know my Patreon is sort of a reflection of that at times, too -- I don't think I put out enough rewards or posts to warrant it, and I regularly think I should probably shut it down, but. I just want you all to know that I really do appreciate the support. I'd be worse off without you. I just want to be able to look back and say I'm proud of what I've done.

Which, well, when pieces like this are finished... I think I'm able to. I just ask for forgiveness in taking some time to get there compared to others out there who are so much more skilled in so much less time. I'm trying. Some might say I'm trying too hard, but I can't not try. Thank you guys, gals, and NB-pals for sticking with me. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I will try to talk to you again soon. Cheers. <3