A unique blend of roguelike, card game, action game, and choose-your-own-adventure, Hand of Fate is a game made of old ideas, balanced perfectly to produce something fresh. I like it, is what I'm trying to tell you.
2015-03-08 23:01:23 +0000 UTC View Post
This is ridiculously late, but it's done! Apparently, Nintendo has not had me listed as a reviewer since I left Destructoid, which explains why getting codes was always so hard when I worked at The Escapist. At any rate, that *should* all be ironed out now, and I can get timely Nintendo reviews running. Until then, enjoy The World's Latest Review of Majora's Mask 3D!
2015-03-07 00:53:42 +0000 UTC View Post
Gavin is away for a week because he’s too much of a pop star to play with us, but we still have a delightful show lined up for you. Where else will you hear about robotic arms punching their way through your genitals in a misguided wank plan? Nowhere. Nowhere else. We also talk about why we’re not wetting ourselves over VR, we chat about the educational sex game How Do You Do It?, and we giv...
2015-03-05 15:38:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Games like this are really helping me get over my compulsion to arbitrarily meet some imaginary word minimum in my reviews. I can barely muster over 500 words to talk about RER:E1, and you know what? That's fine. The game so far is certainly doing a fine job of showcasing how not every game works in the episodic format, and the clear difference between something designed for serial release, and ...
2015-03-04 19:31:38 +0000 UTC View Post
You know, it'd really suck if some people got their wish and took the politics out of games. Politics are part of what makes Helldivers so much fun. Well, that and the ravenous insects, strategic shooter combat, and hilarious accidental deaths. They help too!
2015-03-03 13:04:52 +0000 UTC View Post
This week's episode examines the industry's obsession with "making it cinematic" and how, despite that obsession, videogames still don't even understand what makes films work. Let's stop using meaningless terms to justify garbage decisions.
2015-03-02 15:02:15 +0000 UTC View PostThank you so much for the support this month!
2015-03-01 07:59:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Well, I wish the first official Warriors review on The Jimquisition could have been positive, but sadly the latest installment is as cynical as cynical can be. I've had some frustrations growing with my favorite overall game series for quite some time, and DW8: Empires characterizes all of them. It's not a pretty review, but it's a needed one.
2015-02-28 01:20:18 +0000 UTC View Post
This week's episode is just ridiculous. When we're not busy laughing at ourselves, we ask Gavin about Assassin's Creed: Unity for no good reason, as well as discuss some Kirby and Resident Evil: Revelations 2. Then we bang on about Dying Light's ridiculous $386,000 special edition, which is comedy gold, and we deduce that Eastenders is the Warhammer 40,000 of soap operas. All in all, a good show ...
2015-02-26 13:16:50 +0000 UTC View Post
I've been looking forward to this one for a while. I'm still on a big Resi kick, I loved the first Revelations, and also BARRY! Sadly, this debut episode is just... cynical. The episodic structure makes no sense and the microtransactions are shameless. It's also very dated, or at the very least, feels unsuited to consoles/PC. It's okay... but that's all it is.
2015-02-25 13:14:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's a review of Kirby and the Rainbow Curse. Nintendo games have been arriving to me late recently (hence why there's still no Majora's Mask 3D review) but I've been informed of a possible clerical error at Nintendo - hopefully resolved for future review content! Also, not sure what sparked the recent groundswell of new supporters here, but thank you, as always, to everyone on Patreon keeping ...
2015-02-24 22:53:51 +0000 UTC View Post
While past episodes have touched on the subject, we've had a surprising lack of shows dedicated to discussing game length. That may be because it's an ancient topic that never seems to have any sort of resolution. Nevertheless, with The Order: 1886 sparking a fresh whirlwind of debate, I figured it was time to actually examine the arguments in play and figure out exactly how important a game's l...
2015-02-23 16:19:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Another rip-roaring show, and provisional congratulations to Laura on a provisional engagement!
2015-02-19 17:01:19 +0000 UTC View Post
I expected to be an outlier on this one and was not looking forward to it (contrary to popular belief, the attention I get when I score a game lower than others is NOT much fun!). Apparently this game should be renamed The Order: Eighteen Eighty Six Out Of Ten though, because now everyone's doing it. I've seen some folks accuse reviewers of "bullying" this corporate product, as if that's what cr...
2015-02-19 14:06:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Making this week's episode didn't exactly feel good. I don't like singling out individuals in general, especially these days, but the current narrative being erected around Peter Molyneux is just... skewed. Hopefully, this helps contextualize exactly why people are so frustrated with the man and his promises, and why folks aren't just arbitrarily pillorying him over one failed Kickstarter. The m...
2015-02-16 14:31:59 +0000 UTC View Post
In this handy guide, I let you know how to efficiently transfer your data from one Nintendo system to the other. Since we're talking about Nintendo, the steps are quick and easy, convenient for everybody! And other lies!
2015-02-13 14:06:00 +0000 UTC View Post
The gang return for Buckfast, Evolve, Peter Molyneux's lies, and Netflix doing weird things with The Legend of Zelda. Do you want to hear people choke on bad drinks? Do you want to hear Godus' nonsense get proper torn into? Do you want to excuuuuuse Link? Get your Podquisition fill right now!
2015-02-13 00:42:20 +0000 UTC View Post
I used to collect the best user reviews on Metacritic when I wrote for Destructoid, providing highlights of games that got torn to shreds by the public scoring system by angry gamers. That feature has returned as Metabombed! In our inaugural post, we look at what folks are saying about Evolve and, well... it ain't pretty!
2015-02-12 13:15:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Like I said, Evolve's alright, it's just... well. It's tiresome, ultimately. This kind of game thrives on being unpredictable and the sense that no two games are the same. Evolve is predictable, and all games are the same. A brilliant idea that sits on its laurels and doesn't follow through. Shame.
2015-02-11 18:07:12 +0000 UTC View Post
An Evolve review is in the works, but here's some first Jimpressions in the meantime. Recorded live this morning, I go through some Hunter gameplay, then get my arse royally handed to me as a Goliath. The game is... decent. Hours in, I'm enjoying it, but I am already feeling somewhat tired of the whole thing, as nothing ever seems to change or - dare I say it - evolve. Anyway, here's a video!
2015-02-11 00:26:54 +0000 UTC View Post
Last week was all about telling Nintendo off. This week is all about giving it a little pat on the head. In time, you shall learn that I am a harsh but fair master. In time, you shall grow to love me. So yeah, Hyrule Warriors was one of my Jimquisition Award 2014 winners, but its quality extends beyond the core game. It's also a fantastic example of how you do DLC correctly. Let us count the way...
2015-02-09 15:08:49 +0000 UTC View Post
Equal parts hilarious and depressing, Raven's Cry sees Topware reproducing the amazing awfulness of Two Worlds for a new generation. It's laughable, and saddening, and the script/acting makes it seem like it was originally a porno. Join Cap'n Christopher Raven as he abuses and uses women, stabs men in the hand for no reason, forgets how to make sounds with his mouth, and fails at his one basic j...
2015-02-07 01:12:16 +0000 UTC View Post
Another podcast of wonder and joy will fill your pretty ears this day! We talk about BDSM funtimes, how boobs changed throughout history, and even have some rare praise for Ubisoft! In addition, we talk about loads of games, and that ridiculous League of Legends tournament bollocks. We do sounds for you!
2015-02-05 15:45:47 +0000 UTC View Post
Darkest Dungeon may be in Early Access, it feels more complete and enjoyable than a lot of "finished" games these days. Watch me play it for a good long while. I get battered, bruised, and then I claw my way up into sweet, jubilant victory... before it all goes to absolute murky hell.
2015-02-04 00:49:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Episode One was good, but felt constrained by the license. Episode Two breaks the shackles and finally lets this game series start being its own thing. The Lost Lords is pretty dang legit!
2015-02-03 08:01:21 +0000 UTC View Post
Nintendo's new plans for revenue sharing with YouTubers doesn't directly impact me much, but I hate its implications and Nintendo's general attitude toward the new face of games media. While it's only in "beta," I don't think there's a way this can be altered that won't have horrible conflicts of interest at best, and see Nintendo exerting undue control over coverage at worst. Sod it.
2015-02-02 15:33:24 +0000 UTC View PostThank you so much for the support this month!
2015-02-01 07:59:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's my review of the first episode of Life Is Strange. It has potential, that's for damn sure. However, they really need to get that dialog sorted out, because it is the audio equivalent of the uncanny valley.
2015-01-30 02:07:58 +0000 UTC View Post
Time for another podcast in your face-ear-things! Euro Truck Simulator, Dying Light, rivers, drugs, Amsterdam! Everything you could ever need, all in one sound file. You love it!
2015-01-29 14:50:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Here be my review of Dying Light, which really could have been amazing, if not for the game's seeming fear of... being amazing. I get this sense that "AAA" games are becoming afraid to stand out now. Like, they are mediocre by design, because if you look like everything else, you'll appeal to everybody. Or something. Shame.
2015-01-28 15:37:10 +0000 UTC View Post