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Illiriel

Illiriel

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Illiriel posts

173: We Are Never Going to be Done With This “Saved a Million Babies” Thing, Are We?

“This stinks,” Ashtoreth said, frowning down at the crude map of the cosmos that she’d drawn into the scorched earth before her.

Hunter spared a glance at the giant, smoldering lizard corpse behind them. “You could have just let me cut its head off.”

“I’m not talking about the lizard carcass,” she said. She frowned. “That smells bad to you? Anyway, I’m talking ab...

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172: The Advantages of Having Dated a Narcissistic Jerk

“Okay, so it turns out that we’re very, very far out,” Hunter said. “As in, there’s maybe one other realm we can reach from here. Sadie can get us there, but I’ll have to help her draw the rune circle and it’s going to take us some time.”

“Just one option?” Frost said. “One place we can go?”

“Yeah,” said Hunter. “From the feel of it, it’s a primal wor...

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171: A Song of Fire and Lightning and Also Way Better Fire That’s Purple Too Three

The [Infernal Commands] came a moment later.

“Halt,” Haddad said.

It was the perfect time to use them, after all. Ashtoreth was on the retreat and had pulled so many tricks out of her sleeve that they had to think she was running out of them. The momentary paralysis, if successful, would have easily sealed the deal.

And because each of the...

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170: A Song of Fire and Lightning and Also Way Better Fire That’s Purple Too Two

Air howled around her as she sped through the distance between herself and her sisters. She moved fast, but not at full speed: she’d timed her charge to take the 1/8 second that it took her to conjure Wanderschloss.

Apollo conjured her own greatsword and lunged toward Ashtoreth in response. Haddad, however, hung back much as Ashtoreth had expected she would, bright yellow light...

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169: A Song of Fire and Lightning and Also Way Better Fire That’s Purple Too

Apollo and Haddad wore matching robes of heavy cloth, both a mixture of white and the respective archfiend’s personal color, red or yellow. Apollo, doubtless the leader between the two of them, calmly glowered at Ashtoreth, staying silent.

Haddad, however, floated forward, crossing her arms and grinning, looking considerably happier than when Ashtoreth had seen her last.

Ashtoreth...

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168: Once I Pull My Intestines Back In, I’m Definitely Gonna Get To the Bottom of This

She felt strangely weak, and a moment later she looked down to see why: she’d still been bisected through her abdomen, and the tumble against the ground had disemboweled her. Strangely, it hurt less than she’d expected.

It still hurt, though.

“Ow.”

“Oh fuck,” she head Kylie say from nearby. “Frost! Frost!

She still couldn’t regenerate...

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167: The Battle of the Extremely Sane Tier 5s

Ashtoreth felt something impact her from the side and there was a flash of blue-white light…

Ashtoreth was tossed against hard stone ground, her wings crumpling under her as she rolled to a stop. She lifted herself off the ground, glancing around frantically to see the rest of her allies scattered around her.

For a moment, she was so relieved that it felt unbearable: everyone was ...

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166: Everyone Involved Here is Clearly Very Sane

Ashtoreth felt the new presence before she even turned around. Her magical senses registered them like a small moon, one that had been absent one moment, but was suddenly there in the room with them the next.

She didn’t want to take her eyes off Dazel… but the sudden threat weighing on her mind insisted that she wheel to take them in.

They looked much like an elf wearing a simpl...

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165: Dazel

A moment later, she absorbed the memories in the crystal. It wasn’t a particularly disorienting process: just a sort of mental click and then they were there again.

She could even remember the exact moment she’d decided to betray him. It had been in her room, right after he’d let slip that he had a history with Hell and then asked if she’d have given her life to save Eart...

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164: Your Soul, Your Choice

“So the first entity was a flock of brightly colored birds,” Ashtoreth explained.

“O-kay,” Frost said. “The whole flock?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” said Ashtoreth. “I don’t really know how it worked, because whenever there was a vibe shift then they’d switch out whichever bird was talking to us. And whenever they had to think for a second, all their constit...

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163: An Audience With Lisa Frank’s Favorite Flock of Birds

It was only a short while later that Ashtoreth and Dazel both hovered in the air below the building-studded ceiling of the enormous cavern, assessing what she was pretty sure was the designated meeting place.

It looked almost like the steeple of a human church, only inverted and hanging from the ceiling of the cavern. It was also painted a vibrant combination of pink, green, and yellow, w...

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162: If There’s One Thing I Know, it’s That Human Hell is Full of Italians

“This. Is. Delicious. Dazel, have you tried some?”

“I’ll get to it. I’m enjoying my flab squiggles.”

The little mound of pale, translucent flab squiggles in his small bowl jiggled like a pile of rubber curly fries as he sucked another one into his mouth. She couldn’t blame him: the flab squiggles tasted a lot like seasoned, enriched belly fat.

Ashtoreth ...

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161: Small Cosmos, or Big Treachery? Honestly, Could Even be Both

Have you sold either of your sisters yet?

Dazel asked the question matter-of-factly as Ashtoreth waited for Sadie to finish her teleportation circle. Kylie had already left, taking to the air once Ashtoreth explained where the men were and what they’d found.

Ashtoreth scowled. Did Sadie tell you guys about that?

No, Dazel said. Why would Sadie ...

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160: The Only Thing Stranger Than the Advertisements Here… Are the Humans

“Wow!” Ashtoreth said as a street filled with people bustled around her. “That was amazing!”

She’d taken payment in chitt, as the chitt offered had been more valuable than the cores in Ashtoreth’s estimation. Mostly, though, her payment had come in the form of a rendezvous that he’d arranged for later in the day, with the payment of her last roll of plastic wrap pen...

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159: I Just Want to Say One Word to You—Just One Word: Plastics

For some reason, Kylie and Sadie had both seemed mortified by the prospect of approaching random strangers and asking if they could sell goods to their bosses. Even after Ashtoreth had insisted that things were fast-moving and hectic here by nature, and that people probably showed up with goods to sell but no clue how to sell them all the time.

Ashtoreth, though, had no problem with quest...

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158: The Lich

“Actually,” Ashtoreth said. “I just need Freyr right now. Yama’s more useful, and just one of them fetch us more than what we need to finance everything.”

“She… will?” Kylie asked.

Definitely, Ashtoreth said with telepathy. They’re well-bred daughters of the King of Hell himself. Sure, that comes with some heat, but they’ve failed in their task—he...

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157: The Perks of Imprisoning Your Family in Glowing Gemstones

It took them less than an hour to pore over the guidebooks and address every point of confusion they could find. After that, it was time for one final brief.

Our story, Dazel said, is that we looted an abandoned human base on Primeval Karaz after the attack on Fallen Harana failed. The humans set up on Primeval Karaz with the intent of settling in and farming, hence why we ha...

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156: Someday, Kylie, We’ll Find You a Plane Populated by Nothing But Medium and Large-Sized Dogs

The six of them materialized out of the warp spell and stared at the strange sight of the vast world lying before them.

“‘Miniature city,’ you said,” Frost said, voice containing a clear note of awe.

They stood on a platform looking out into a cavernous, artificial chamber shaped like an egg that was miles across. They were at its midpoint, and a bowl-like depression lined w...

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155: Outer Markets, Like Most Things, Are Best Enjoyed While Filthy Rich

“I gotta tell you,” Ashtoreth said. “Humans invented way, way better elves than the real ones. Satchels?”

Sadie removed the backpack that Ashtoreth had asked her to wear, then opened it and removed both her and Kylie’s bags.

“There’s a lot of human-made elves, Ashtoreth,” Dazel said, floating into her field of view from where he’d been all but hiding behin...

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154: This is Exactly the Kind of BS That Santa Never Had to Deal With

Author Note:

I know I've been away for almost a week, but I've still been writing. I have 5 more chapters written and almost ready to post, just editing them now.

I've been away from my usual routine for the past two weeks. Also, this part of the story has required a lot of careful planning.

Hope you enjoy!

* * *

“What’s up, ...

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153: If There’s One Thing I Know, it’s That I’d Make a Great Psychologist

The massive lizard broke free of the treeline with a tremendous sound of cracking branches and disturbed foliage. It reared up on its hind legs and roared, its long, narrow snout coming apart to reveal jaws studded with needle-shaped teeth.

{Ibexicon — Level 188 Elite}

“Eh,” Ashtoreth said. She fired her cannon, a shockwave ripping through the air around her a...

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152: Making Realistic Plans for the Future

For a time after the assault of Morax Tol’s bastion, Ashtoreth was stuck facing what she slowly came to realize might be the worst possible outcome.

Nothing happened.

She’d known they would assault Fallen Harana without her, but Primeval Karaz? They didn’t even tell her or her people that they’d left. She’d simply woken up one day to find that most of the soldiers she trai...

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151: Admit it: You Have to be a Bit of an Edgelord to Pick Black

Ashtoreth felt Dazel go rigid where he sat in her lap. “Uh… yeah…” he said.

She had to admire Sadie’s cleverness in deciding to attack now. With Hunter’s mom and Raven around, Dazel would be limited in how nasty he could get, but the humans had probably developed all sorts of techniques for insulting each other without breaching etiquette.

“Yeah, you know,” Sadie con...

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150: Dinner With the Wolfhards

Ashtoreth and Hunter warped to a runic circle that had been drawn on the front lawn of a small house.

“We’re actually staying in a missile silo somewhere,” said Hunter. “But they let us out so mom could set her own table.” He shrugged. “She really wanted to get back into the house for a night. Come on.”

“It’s Ashtoreth!

A small human came...

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149: This Wolfhard Rejects Just Being Another One of the Herd

In the end, it turned out that Earth wasn’t Pinnacle.

After her psychic evaluation, Ashtoreth had been sent back while the humans prepared for the assault on Primeval Karaz. She was fairly certain that they wanted her to participate when they did attack… but it was taking them more than a few hours to prepare, and they didn’t want her anywhere but Earth if it could be helpe...

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148: Concerning Big Things VS Little Things

Ashtoreth registered what Frost had said, then shrugged off her satchel. “They must’ve stealthed some lower-level psychics across Primeval Karaz,” she said. “Makes sense to want to read my mind before they launch their secret surprise misdirection attack.”

“Why are you taking off your bag, Ashtoreth?” Frost asked, eying her.

“It’s elvish leather,” she said. “An...

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147: The Most Crucial Event in the Timeline was… Oh My...

“I’m definitely taking this, right?” Ashtoreth asked, gesturing to where she’d written the ability out with a glamour. “It’s too weird and tantalizing. What’s Pinnacle?”

“No idea,” said Dazel. “But the first place we should check is probably Earth, right? I mean… it seems unlikely, but Earth has a lot of unexplained weirdness going on with it.”

“Nah, that...

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146: With Spells Like These, I Should Get Better Spells

“See, now, this is the issue,” Ashtoreth explaining, tugging on the brim of the massive witch hat that she’d conjured. The hat, which had two holes in it for her horns to poke through, remained stationary instead of rotating. “I can’t spin it.”

She’d landed on the top of the pyramid and rejoined the party. Dazel had floated down to land in her arms, his movements seeming mor...

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145: The Hand That Mocked Them, and the Heart that Fed

Ashtoreth stared at Dazel, trying to process what he’d said. It didn’t surprise her, not really. It was more or less what she’d guessed… if a lot more extreme, from the sounds of things. But somehow, it was still hard to take in.

She knew, in an academic sense, that before fiends had ruled Hell, devils had. She knew that her father had overthrown the old King. She knew—or though...

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144: Say It With Me, Kids: UPGRADE!

{DING! You gain 14 levels. You are now level 461.}

{You gain 210 DEX, 210 STR, 266 VIT, 210 MAG, 112 PSY, 140 DEF}

{Congratulations! You’ve absorbed enough power to choose your fourth Class Aspect!}

“All right,” said Ashtoreth. “Here it is. Moment of truth!”

“Well don’t leave us hanging,” said Frost. “W...

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