therealprettyboygirl

Daddy Issues

What makes someone choose to become a stripper, when they don’t have to? Commonly people conflate the desire to pursue sex work with “daddy issues,” and while I don’t entirely disagree, I’d like to posit that “daddy issues” are the primary driver for most people in their various industries. Do I have daddy issues? Of course. I have daddy issues, my father has daddy issues, his fat...

Part 2: Taking Too Long

I didn’t want to end so abruptly with the previous story. Mike and I danced. There was a moment I was in his lap pretending to have the most erotic experience of my life. It was apparently such a compelling performance that near the end he asked

Him: Did you cum yet?

Me: Not yet, but almost.

My friend Starr always answers this question with an emphatic “Yes!!! Soooo many t...

How My Parents Met

Hello friends,

I’m on vacation and so I don’t have one of my usual stories for y’all. I’m finally taking a much needed mental break from writing. I’ll be back at it again next week. Thank y’all for supporting my work. I hope you enjoy this one from the vault xoxo

My mother and father met in Puerto Rico at a club called Peggy Sue. My mother, Gloria, was twenty-...

Mike’s Bitch Wife: Part 1

I came in for a day shift Friday after a newish customer texted me about buying an hour with me. He texted, “Are you working today? I wanna fall in love for an hour.” I’d assumed that meant a $600 Heaven Box, which was enough incentive to show up on a day that isn’t typically on my schedule. I was coming from a commercial audition, so I had my hair curly and natural and I was...

Dancing for Dancing’s Sake

Crushes can be such a beautiful thing. There’s nothing quite like that passionate, breathless infatuation-- that aching desire to know every physical and intellectual nook and cranny of your beloved.

Dale was in to see a different girl Saturday evening. He hadn’t texted me even though he’d asked me to send nudes Friday. When I got to work I sent him one of my old locker ...

Dale’s Sugar Daddy Issues

Dale has never been in the greatest shape by any measure. Way back about a year ago the first time I danced with him, he clarified that he wasn’t some kind of baller even though he was blowing money on Kylie like he had enough to burn. Over our many months together, he’s divulged every detail of his life to me and the army of strippers satiating his needs in Kylie’s absence. Dale doesn’...

The Human Condition

If you’ve ever had to bear with men sucking on your nipples while your breasts are swollen with cysts, then you know where this story begins.

After a shitty week sequestered inside waiting for my flu to pass, I was finally well enough to work a shift. I was feeling extra raw and sensitive, waiting for the imminent beginning of my menstrual cycle. The days prior are the worst for me. I h...

Men Have Feelings: Another Danny Story

Slow season has begun, which means dancers are feeling more pressed than normal trying to earn the same living as they do during the busy seasons while customers cling to their wallets for dear life. Luckily, my regulars have bolstered the financial drought in this typically grim period, but I’ve also been lucky enough to encounter a few new customers. One recent midshift I met a stuntman who...

The consultant, the doctor, the pineapple juice, the diaper, and how to run a business

CW: Assault

I didn’t think about making any additional money after Marcus left. I decided to take a dinner break and see if I could soft sell one last dance set. If it didn’t happen, I wasn’t losing anything. I took a seat at the bar and the German coke head consultant plopped down beside me. Earlier, I’d watched him from the other side of the one way glass of the half-hour room. ...

From Scammer to Scammer

Dale hit me up out of the blue recently asking where I’d been, since he hadn’t seen me in a while. Our paths seldom cross due to our conflicting schedules. He’s an early bird who needs to be home with his cats by eleven. I’m a night owl with a smorgasbord of day jobs. I was surprised when Dale texted me because I’d gotten the idea he’d lost or deleted my number the last time I texte...

Marcus Is Drowning: Pt. 2

CW: Suicide

Him: A friend of mine was throwing a bachelor party here, so I came and paid for all of his dances, something like $2,500 at the time, but I didn’t start coming regularly until 2013, I think.

Me: What happened in 2013?

Him: Good question. Well… I’d been working my way up at Viacom for the last decade. I thought I was going to retir...

Marcus Is Drowning : Part 1

My manager tipped me off about Marcus. I’d been on my dinner break eating a large salad with buffalo wings when Keith came over and pointed out a middle aged man with tan skin and white hair. He wore a crisp white button down shirt and slacks. He looked like a rich uncle unwinding after work. After I finished eating, I decided to approach him without any expectations. Maybe he would fancy me,...

Fucking Couples

I kept an eye on a white couple in their late thirties, maybe forties who sat beside the bar, sipping their nonalcoholic beverages for a few hours before I decided to go up to them. They could best be described as pop punk rockers who grew up and had to abandon their tempered rebellion for desk jobs. They weren’t wealthy, and it was apparent to me that they weren’t frequent strip club patro...

Hey guys

I’m exhausted from a very busy week so I’ll be posting my story tomorrow. Thanks for being patient!

A Brief Stripper Fight

I always miss stripper fights. It’s very uncommon at my club, which comes as a surprise to people, but the dancers at my club are exceptionally kind. There are arguments and tension at times, but fighting isn’t common.

Friday, Ecstasy had been called on stage for her set after a new girl. The new girl was taking her sweet time gathering her stage money and talking to customers, tryin...

Finding The One

I scanned the club looking for any well dressed middle aged man sitting alone. It was early Tuesday night, and the pickings were slim. I saw one skinny white man in his mid fifties bent over a piece of paper with a pair of round glasses perched upon his head. The man looked like if Jack Skellington had flesh. Upon his long wiry body sat a round little head angular features and pronounced eye so...

Keeping Glen Close

Glen came by after another of his extended absences. He used to come by every other weekend with his friend and employee, Chuy a jolly Mexican man, but recently Chuy stopped drinking. Since he now has to do everything soberly, Chuy lost interest in long evenings at the strip club. When Chuy refused to continue accompanying him, Glen brought another one of his friends/employees to his...

I Bleed, Therefore I Am A Vagina

I walked into the club scared for posting about unionizing. I have no protection against retaliation, aside from a mutual threatdown. They threaten me or fire me and then I threaten to report all of their underhanded dealings. But what kind of work environment would that create? Would I just end up shutting the club down and costing other women their livelihood? I’m afraid to interact with my...

White Man Face Blindness

I was almost certain I’d danced with the man before-- but as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have a terrible case of White Man Face Blindness. I never thought I’d get to the point where my phone contacts would become an indistinguishable cluster of basic man names. Yesterday, “Gary” texted me and I cannot for the life of me put an old raisined face to this name.

Returning t...

New Post Tomorrow (Monday)

Hey guys, I’ve been on vacation and I’m a little behind on my writing. I will have your story of the week tomorrow. Thank you so much for supporting me. I hope y’all are enjoying the podcast. New episodes every Thursday. If you’re enjoying it, please let me know and write a review. Again thank y’all for bearing with me 💜👼🏽

Eye Contact

I’d just danced with one of my regulars who wears a condom when we dance so that he can nut into his pants. In return for my service, aside from a nice tip, he’d brought me granola bars to snack on. He’s always worried about whether or not I’m eating and taking care of myself, between sending me Spanish memes of lecherous old men eyeing milfs breastfeeding. It’s a complicated relatio...

Venice Beach Boy

I’ve said it multiple times, but I hate the South Bay boys. There’s a few groups that come in regularly after a late night drinking at one of the beach bars. They arrive after 2:30 a.m. and take up as much space as possible and somehow never buy more than a single 99% of the time. I’d thought Lance was one of those boys. We’d met a few times prior to this evening, and every time I was a...

Pilot for Girls Night Out (only up on patreon for a limited time only)

Junie: 20-years-old, Black/Latinx, grew up lower middle class, culturally Midwestern and out of touch with their ethnic cultures, in the process of defining their gender identity, they use they/them pronouns but also identify with “girl” culture. Currently enrolled in Fine Arts University with Cola. Junie is squirrely, capricious, ADHD, anxious/neurotic, irresponsible, flirty but charmingly...

For the Love of Lin Mai

A large man entered the club carrying what seemed to be his entire life, stuffed into two duffles which he dropped off in the DJ booth. He wandered the club hesitantly, unsure of where he was welcome to sit. I noted his confused expression and volunteered:

Me: You can sit over there.

I pointed at a table across from the stage.

Him: Thank you.

He went over to the table an...

Crossing Boundaries

It was twofer special time and I decided to shoot my shot with one of the men from this group of white bros (or as I like to think of them, “brethren”). I figured I’d ask whichever one of them made eye contact with me first, which turned out to be less simple than I’d anticipated. It’s funny how men simply don’t notice the dancers. We walk right past them and it’s like they have a...

Danny’s Golden Shower

I know what you’re all thinking: where was the golden shower in the last story? I mentioned briefly in my last Instagram post that I finally broached the pee barrier with someone, and if you’ve been following my work long enough, I bet you guessed that that person was Danny, and you’re right.

Danny called me over, but tried to bargain down my price for the second night. Usually I do...

More of the Danny Chronicles

Before I dive into this most recent Danny Story, I wanted to note that my partner and I have started couples’ therapy. We’ve spent a lot of time confronting hard truths and crying together. Relationships are so complicated and there are definitely times that I hate him, but I also love him and would truly be sad to lose something so precious to me. Of course, I’m not a believer...

Another Danny Story

Time for another Danny Story.

Danny arrived during the one weekend I decided to set aside for myself and my partner, so we could attend a friend’s wedding. Danny had promised he would arrive days earlier, and that we would go on a little shopping trip to find me a proper strap-on so I could finally peg him. I was in it for the sport, to fulfill that core internal desire many ...

War and Boobies

One early Saturday evening I was dancing on stage when a little bald man came up to tip me. A few other men joined us on the opposite end of the stage and I took turns paying each of them attention. I tried talking to the little bald man, but he didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure if he was only casually interested in watching me dance, or if he wasn’t a big talker; however he was ti...

CW: Rape Pt. 2

I’d planned to work Friday after my meeting with Dino. Normally I would wear something I don’t mind ending up smelling like a strip club, because inevitably if I leave any object in the club for more than a few hours it ends up smelling like a combination of every perfume from Victoria’s Secret with a vague hint of body odor, but I’d decided to dress a bit more business like. I wore a g...