The Murder Baboon’s camouflage was as impeccable as always. I could only vaguely sense they were on the battlefield by looking at how some of the monsters moved- the occasional dodge for no reason, a few moving a touch awkwardly, as though they were carrying something. It was subtle. Invisible if you weren’t looking for it.
I mean, the ones nailed to a bigger monster ...
2024-11-04 17:00:21 +0000 UTC
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That thing I've been working on? The thing that wasn't quite clicking, but I had a minor breakthrough and now I'm turning the Alpha readers loose on it? I'm going to call it Project Abilene for now. (H/T Warren Ellis for the naming scheme, which I am shamelessly stealing from his newsletters.)

Anyhoo, th...
2024-11-03 03:59:29 +0000 UTC
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“I had expected there to be a monster hiding somewhere. It felt inevitable. But candidly, I didn’t see the Woodcutter or his Wife being it. And if one of the two was going to be the monster, I’d have put money on the Woodcutter.”
“Why? Not like you had met either.” Versai asked. She looked mummified. I had returned us to the Tower to heal up again. Since progress th...
2024-11-01 16:00:22 +0000 UTC
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I looked around, trying not to look like prey. Rikka was right- the tray for incense was empty, and the little sand holder for the incense sticks was empty. Something clicked.
“Ah! Mrs. Hungry, you don’t have any incense to offer. What are you going to offer Lord Welcome?”
“Mmm? Oh. Yes. He needs an offering. I’m sure he’s hungry too. Mmm. Maybe you...
2024-10-30 16:00:13 +0000 UTC
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“No, absolutely not. Versai, slow her down. Rikka, set traps behind us. Miyuki, pick me up and run to the Temple. Everyone, we are falling back to the Temple. Right now.”
I didn’t try to whisper or anything. A bat-spider-wolf-monster thing is going to have hearing beyond all human comprehension. Besides, there were only so many places we could run to, now that it ha...
2024-10-28 20:53:48 +0000 UTC
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Visiting my baby niece ate up most of yesterday. In a nice way, but still. It will be up today, just a bit later than usual.
2024-10-28 14:33:57 +0000 UTC
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Sebastian had prepared ten bottles of Ghost Touch Potion. It didn’t last long after being applied to weapons, and he and I agreed that it was far better to be safe than sorry.
“So… I really should have asked this ages ago, but how do we apply it to ranged weapons? We can’t smear it on non-existant beams of light.” I had the insane image of just smearing it on Ra...
2024-10-25 16:00:17 +0000 UTC
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I got myself together. I don’t know how long it took. A while. Not forever. I was becoming more used to the horror, though far from immune. My God. The scope of it. Feeling like a particle of dirt inhaled by some unspeakable monster and then having a momentary view of the lungs you were lodged in, the heart who’s walls you were, somehow, trapped in…
But ultimately you get...
2024-10-23 16:00:15 +0000 UTC
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I didn’t shout. Shows a lot of emotional maturity, I think. I’d say that I’m on a really positive path as a leader and human being. I just closed my eyes and visualized the Principal versus Deer running gag from Nichijou. Haha, the bullet-proof vest does nothing, Principle-San. Deer-San is too strong.
When I opened my eyes again, my two Six Stars were waiting. We...
2024-10-21 16:00:15 +0000 UTC
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“Rache, report! What kind of monsters were they?”
“Dunno their name, Boss. They have armor, but they look shorter and heavier than the armored ones we usually see.”
Wallbreakers. It had only been a couple of waves, and we were already getting wallbreakers. Not as bad as flying units, but arguably as dangerous, or more dangerous, as the stealth units.&nb...
2024-10-18 16:00:34 +0000 UTC
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Whistling arrow Miyuki- so long as the creature she shot was still alive, her arrow would make a horrifying whistling sound. So horrifying, it scared the monsters. The more monsters she nailed in place with an arrow, the louder the noise would be.
Which led me to wonder- what would happen if she shot a giant monster? I doubted she could pin it to the ground at long range, but w...
2024-10-16 16:00:14 +0000 UTC
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“I am told the law changed four hundred years ago. At that time, if someone was ill, their family took care of them, and if they were addled, their family minded them, and if they were mad, their family took care of them too. One way or another. But the law took no interest, do you see?”
“I don’t, sorry.” I shrugged.
Carousel half ...
2024-10-14 16:00:16 +0000 UTC
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In retrospect, “recruitable” does not explicitly mean “friendly.” Lots and lots of games have you fight some god-tier enemy only to recruit them afterwards. Inevitably, they still have all the brain damage you gave them during your fight and now throw hands like a narcoleptic snake.
Mrs. Hungry lead us through the woods like an implacable ghost. Somehow I knew tha...
2024-10-11 16:00:16 +0000 UTC
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Jujustu Kaisen has its problems. Their commitment to jumping the enemy and group beatdowns is not one of them. It was always Naruto that was weird on that one. Early on they stressed the importance of teamwork, and then? Straight solo battles. Even Shikamaru, who really should have known better.
Me? I couldn’t run the ones even if I wanted to. And I don...
2024-10-09 16:00:16 +0000 UTC
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“Fall back on me! Rache, work around the edges, high speed attack runs only! Rikka, get around behind them and attack from behind. Rakim, stick with me. Keep ‘em off me! Miyuki, shoot to pin them down, but keep them alive for now. Shoot whoever is closest. Versai- Get them!”
I have gotten used to shouting my orders very fast. There is still room for improvement.&...
2024-10-07 16:00:18 +0000 UTC
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I don’t know how long I stared up at the statue. My brain kept going around in a very small loop- It looked exactly like the hooded figure that grabbed me and sent me to the Tower. On the other hand, all I saw of that… person was a pale, boney hand, and a load of black robes that piled up into a hood on his? head. So this could be a statue of any freak in a black robe.
<...
2024-10-04 16:00:17 +0000 UTC
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Do I stay or do I go? If I go, go where? And if I stay, how do I live? There is a ton of stuff in the hut, but so what? It’s just stuff. Just because I’m eating today doesn’t mean I can eat tomorrow.
Could I hunt for food? Probably not. I have no idea how to hunt. Never been hunting. Fishing? I still haven’t checked out the lake. But I wasn’t exactly a fisherman...
2024-10-02 19:38:28 +0000 UTC
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I poked at the tablet, trying to figure out what was in there. It didn’t go great. I feel like they tried their best, but I didn’t speak the language or read the language so there was only so much I could get. Could the tablet teach me their language? I’ve never been big on languages. English, obviously, and you pick up some Spanish living in California, or at least southern and central C...
2024-10-02 19:36:59 +0000 UTC
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I'm going to start rolling out Vol. 2 of Weeaboo on Royal Road. Fifteen chapters/five weeks ahead of the public release. I'll update the tiers to reflect where that puts everyone. Right now the tiers are a complete mess, and probably should be consolidated. Just got way too messy for a while there. Ah, what else? There should be something. I ordered a new cover for Weeaboo Vol 2, so we will see...
2024-10-02 19:35:40 +0000 UTC
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TL:DR- Keeping the current chapter length and schedule, Vol. 4 of Slumrat comes out 5/20/25, and a literal "fuck around and find out" approach to story development.
We are now five weeks into the new Weaboo format, and at least on my end, the results are decididly mixed. I don't hate it, but it's not exactly a time saver either. Which is irritating, but life goes on. I'm going to stick wi...
2024-10-02 16:57:22 +0000 UTC
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The Fragrant Bamboo Inn was filled with contented sighs and nods of approval. I sat quite still, trying to process. Ms. Hungry spoke with a steady cadence, not quite flat, but calm. As though she was revealing the most ordinary truths to her listeners. It made those moments where she stressed a word, when she changed the cadence, hit like a thrown brick.
I could imagine that de...
2024-10-02 16:00:13 +0000 UTC
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Fragrant Bamboo Inn was warmly lit from within, drawing us up the path towards it. There was a clearing around the inn, a little island in the bamboo shallows before you ventured out into the piney depths up the mountain. A safe refuge from the invisible terrors of the forest. Whatever they might be.
“Ah, guests, come in, come in! It’s so late, did you get lost on the...
2024-09-30 16:00:16 +0000 UTC
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Alliana refused to be drawn further, claiming that this was all she knew about Hidden Moon Mountain that wasn’t immediately obvious. She packed up and headed out shortly afterward too. Which was irritating. There was a lot I still wanted to ask her. I had to let it slide. I could see some internal switch had been thrown, and now she had to go. Off to the next place.
“...
2024-09-27 16:00:21 +0000 UTC
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I leaned back on my throne, fingers steepled, eyes narrowed in thought. It’s a recliner, so the action was smooth and comfortable, if lacking in regal grandeur. My mind was circling things and drawing red lines on my internal conspiracy theorist wall.
It started with the number of summons. I had no idea how many there were in total, but I’d been getting costumes for l...
2024-09-25 16:00:15 +0000 UTC
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Alliana looked annoyingly comfortable standing in my Throne Room. Her little cart was apparently magic, and had no problem shrinking to fit up the stairs. I had Versai and Rakim with me, just in case. Alliana looked like she couldn’t have cared less. Which was also annoying. I forgave her. Anyone coming with information will find me a gracious and understanding host.
“I tal...
2024-09-23 16:00:14 +0000 UTC
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One must never simp in games or life. The pay-pig is a figure of profound contempt, one of the few universal exceptions to the ban on kink shaming. And yet. For some reason. For some absolutely disgusting, universally reviled reason, people think it’s okay to spend money on gacha games. Gacha games were invented in Japan. A place where whales are hunted and eaten. Something to t...
2024-09-20 16:00:16 +0000 UTC
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I got back before the sky got all “Lovecraftian Apocalypse,” and took a quick look at the fortifications.
“Nice. Very Nice.”
I wasn’t ready to wrap the whole Tower in fortifications just yet, but we all knew the day was coming. My initial plan was a sort of wasp-waisted hourglass design- wide front wall with bastions jutting out at...
2024-09-18 16:00:11 +0000 UTC
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“If Exploding Murder Baboons are going to be a regular part of our lives, and I have every reason to think they will…” My words drained off like piss into a sink.
“Tower Master?” Versai raised a politely concerned eyebrow.
“Sorry. Just processing the fact that Exploding Murder Baboons are now a regular part of my life. That’s my day to day, now. O...
2024-09-16 16:00:19 +0000 UTC
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I locked up. I couldn’t process what I was seeing. I knew I had to take charge, start giving orders, but I just… couldn’t. Kim. Kim got torn apart and blown up. A bunch of other people up on the Bastion got hurt too, but I couldn’t process that right now. Kim. Was dead. Before the thought could completely run through my head, I heard a distinct sound, shattering glass and an almost meta...
2024-09-13 16:00:16 +0000 UTC
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“And the morning and the evening were the sixth day.” The complex feelings in me seemed to call for that kind of language.
“Tower Master?” Carousel looked over at me from under her enormous hat.
“I’ve been here six days. And I think I have created a lot, but even more than that, I think this place made me.”
I didn’t have the tim...
2024-09-11 16:00:12 +0000 UTC
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