Long Night Sky - Sketch

A sketch that came up a few days ago, this time not digitally but traditionally and then scanned, wow, there's a noticeable difference haha

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Personal...

Well this image has some context, not in history as I would like but in...well a little bit of why I ended up doing it

As some of you know I was studying at the university, and I emphasize "was studying", I ended up giving up on that idea finally, simply, there is not enough time or resources to survive at this rate, between programs, payments and materials to buy I simply can't keep up, suddenly it became a decision to...continue studying with the risk of not even knowing if I'll have something to eat in a week or let it go and concentrate on my work and other pending things, I...cling a little to the idea of ​​continuing studying for a while, result?...a debt that has already caught up with me and honestly will be tied to me for several months, maybe years...I don't earn enough to ensure I get out of this quickly, and I still ended up at that point as before, honestly...I don't know if I'll even get there Next week, fine, I try to...stay calm and think things through as best I can, but it's getting more complicated.

Right now I'm at that point where you start selling things to...just survive...a fan, my bike, my cell phone, a camera, monitors...I tried to sell my graphic tablet with a screen but, with luck they wanted to offer me 20-25 dollars, obviously I didn't accept but...there are fewer and fewer options, that was the "most valuable", in any case...I guess I'll find a way out of this...that's how it's been...practically all this year, trying to cheer myself up even though things are just going downhill, getting worse, I don't know, maybe I'm just not trying hard enough or maybe it's just not time yet, I want to keep some hope despite everything, to think that somehow things will turn out well after all...

but anyway, getting back to the subject..., as I mentioned before, I was studying at the university and... well they had asked me for quite a few materials, clearly I couldn't afford them all...no matter how hard I tried...sometimes resulting in not even being able to do the activities they asked me to do, which, well you know... It translates into bad grades and... ahhh... that... which in part also contributed to my decision to finally give up... no matter how hard I tried, or even got into debt, in the end I couldn't keep up... I still have some material, other... I sold it... although for practically nothing... what I kept was... I don't know, just a part of me still wanting to hold on to that idea of ​​someday taking it up again, I don't know, saving it for when I can come back heh... yeah right, come back... that opportunity simply vanished... or maybe I just couldn't accept it...

As you know, sometimes I draw my own things when I feel stressed... not very elaborate really, just... to clear my mind a bit, and well, I finally decided to use the material I still had, which... well, now it boils down to just some bristol paper and... some pencils, and... I don't know, just to distract myself a bit, or calm down... and then I just asked a neighbor to scan it for me (since I don't have a way to take pictures either). At this point, I sold my camera and my cell phone, and... well, here it is, maybe I'll continue it, maybe not, I don't know, I just hope that if I don't finish it, it was because of my own decision and not because I can't do it anymore

Ahh... what a... beginning of the month, it's... an interesting month... this month I turn 21... wiiii... I only remember this date because of documents to sign or fill out... or sometimes Google and its reminders, I used to get a notification with it haha... nothing important really, just that... I don't know, that date always ends up giving me a low self-esteem... even though I could maybe talk to someone on the internet if I wanted to... I don't know, I always feel alone... between four walls that I don't even know if I'll be able to keep in the future...

whatever... yeah... I wasted a lot of time here... I should keep working, sorry for this... see you