DITW 11-9: Tangled Paths

When Kimmy touched him this way, and when Kimmy told him dirty stories and played along with the things that turned him on, he never felt closer to her. And that was so wrong—so wrong the act came with the heavy weight of shame and guilt. Kimmy was a better human than this. A woman who didn’t need the burden of kinky games that turned her husband on. But he loved them. He loved them, and—he could deny it as much as he wanted—Kimmy liked them too. But the way Kimmy liked them was the same way he liked them: cloaked in dark regret and disgrace. He’d asked her, and she’d told him the humiliation turned her on. She fought this like he did. She fought it, but she liked it. Like Devlin sought to boil his frog form, he’d done the same to Kimmy. Degree by degree, turning up the heat until he had his wife playing forbidden games on a private beach in Cayman, cavorting with him and Devlin, staying present for her husband’s sake while her boss had disrobed for a skinny dip and to show off to Kimmy how huge his penis was.

Kimmy’s grip pulsed on the end of his cock, her eyes watching his squished end point peeking out the end of her slippery fist. “The only thing that makes it okay when I’m like that—when I’m cold—is it’s not who I am, Josh. I don’t want to be cold. I don’t want to be mean. I’m like that to win. It’s a game, Josh. You make it real. The game’s stakes are for you and for me. That’s why I like it. Am I making sense?”

“Yes-s, yeah, you are. I know, Kimmy. I know.”

She stroked him a few times. “Our home, our apartment, that’s who I am. That’s who I want to be. When I walk out the door, I get to play. You know? And I’m good at it.”

“You are. I know you are.”

Her eyes moved to his. “Do you want to hear it?”

“I do.”

“Do you understand what it’s like for me?”

“I do, Kimmy. I really do. Tell me. Tell me what happened.”

Kimmy hesitated for a moment, her attention on her hand again, watching it go up and down her husband’s throbbing erection, her grip swirling, adding pleasurable flourishes to her stroking motion. At last, she said, “He proved his point, Devlin did, making me look at myself, making me look in the mirror. I know it sounds crazy to you, crazy that would happen, but maybe that’s what had to happen. I figured it out. I’ve been lost, and when you went to Rome, I thought . . . I couldn’t stand you being away like that. . . . I don’t think I saw in the mirror what Devlin wanted me to see. But I know what I’m doing now.”

His stomach bowed in and out as an enormous pressure built inside him, inflated by his wife’s awful ministration. His whole body trembled, and he hated how pleasure reveled in this awful revelation of how his wife behaved with her boss when her husband wasn’t around. And he followed the path of today’s event between Kimmy and Devlin all the way to Cayman—where the path began.

He said, “You were naked. Naked in front of him.”

Kimmy’s eyes returned to his. “Totally naked, Josh. Devlin was dressed. Okay?”

“Y-yeah.”

“He wants me, Josh. He wants me really bad.”

“Oh, fuck, yes, you’re so hot, so amazing.”

Kimmy watched her hand again, down low between them, his cock pointing up to their faces. “This makes you so hard.”

“So hard, Kimmy. . . . I hate it.”

“Don’t, Josh. Don’t say that. You love it, and that’s fine. . . . I don’t want you to want it, Josh, but I can’t make you stop.”

Yes, this was all him, all his fault. His indecent fantasies had set them on this tortuous route that led to his wife’s panties in Devlin’s couch, to Devlin undressing his wife and then . . . And then? “You’re torturing me. Tell me what happened.”

“He wanted me in his bed, so I told him to jerk off instead and I walked out.

“And he did?”

“I didn’t know if he would or not, but, yes, he did. He jerked off in the bathroom.”

His leg muscles tightened to cables, and he twisted underneath his seductive wife. “While you were there?”

“I was in the bedroom, I was getting dressed. But the door was open, and yes, I saw him jerking off.”

“You saw him hard?”

A beat of hesitation, then: “I did, Josh.”

“Fuck,” he hissed, and though she’d told him to keep his hands at his sides, he palmed his face and growled, rage swimming behind his eyes but held in check by his wife’s stroking grip.

Into his hands, he groaned, “This wasn’t the first time. The first time you’ve seen him hard.”

Kimmy kept her grip on his cock but pried his hands away with her free hand. She looked into his eyes, then shook her head no. “Devlin loves to show that thing to anyone who might want to look. He showed it to us on the beach in Cayman.”

Josh whispered, “He wasn’t hard.”

“I’ve seen it hard, Josh. I’m sorry, but I have seen his dick get hard before.”

Bright flashes of times when Kimmy might have been alone with Devlin flickered behind his eyes. Brief passionate moments where Devlin seduced his wife, tempting her with the best things a man could offer, and gifted with all the physical tools that a woman desired. The body, the looks, the money, the endowment; all things that drove women crazy, including his wife—his fine and glorious wife, who seemed so above such debasing desire. He pictured her office when everyone else had gone home, pictured hotel rooms with canceled meetings, pictured Devlin’s apartment, only a short drive from the office and equipped with all the amenities for dick revealing and deep, deep fucking. Kimmy alone and separate from her husband, living a different life, a glamorous one. All with a hyper-sexual macho degenerate who wanted to fuck her. And who wanted her husband to know he was fucking her.

His eyes locked with Kimmy’s, inches apart, his body prostate and subordinate below her. She stroked his cock and told him all the things he fantasized he might hear. But this time it was real and true. Their gazes remained locked and her hand continued to deliver pleasure. Much was beamed back and forth between them, two people seeking understanding, looking for a way to settle this difficulty between them without having to utter the horrible words that crushed his heart yet made his dick as hard as steel. Kimmy knew the difficult dance she had to perform for her husband and he loved her for wanting to do it.

Voice soft and caring, she said, “It’s okay, Josh. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything. You understand that, right? You know you’re everything.”

“Kiss me,” he said. “Please, Kimmy, kiss me.”

Her mouth came to his and her soft lips closed against his. When she pulled back, she said, “Put your hands down again.”

His hands had remained at his neck, like he was protecting himself. He moved them down to his sides again, vulnerable and naked to the true things Kimmy told him.

“Keep them there,” she said, working his cock, eyes boring into his.

He said, “Do you like it?”

Kimmy said nothing for a while, knowing he’d meant Devlin’s penis, but answering his question with, “You know I don’t like him, Josh.”

“Do you like it? Like it when he shows it to you?”

She frowned and looked away. “I don’t like to be manipulated. When he does that, it’s...”

“You know what I’m asking you, Kimmy. Tell me the truth. Do you like it? Do you like how big he is?”

Her eyes met his again, and he knew what her answer was in the heartbeat before she said it. “I do. I like it.”

His voice rose high, as if in disbelief, even though he’d wanted this answer. “You do?”

“I can’t help it. Just like you can’t help this”—she squeezed his dick, indicating how hard he was—“I can’t help what happens to me.”

“What happens to you?”

“I get aroused, Josh. The same way you do.”

His head rocked back on the mattress like a man in anguish, but the hurt in his heart wasn’t unwelcome. It was cathartic. He hated to think these things were true, but deep down, he’d always known they were. Now that it was confirmed, and Kimmy had shared such strange intimacy with another man, he had the proof that his fantasy had sunk deeper into dark waters. And yet that’s where he’d always wanted it to be.

And if there was ever a time he could accept the answer to his forbidden question, that time would be now. He summoned the courage to ask, and with great effort, he said, “Has he ever touched you?”

Kimmy’s expression shrank, but her brow lowered. “What do you mean?”

He scaled back the question, not liking the dark fire that flared in Kimmy’s eyes. “He’s shown you. Have you shown him?”

Kimmy’s hand stilled. Her posture slumped.

He encouraged her to not give up, his hand moving to her wrist, guiding her hand to keep moving. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Kimmy. Don’t stop, keep going—but tell me.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“How can I not know?”

“You already know, Josh. You showed me. Showed me the proof.”

“Your panties?”

She nodded, sad eyes averted from his, and he hated the direction this release had taken. He didn’t like this at all. “He did. He’s seen you. You showed him. It’s okay, Kimmy.” And wasn’t it? Wasn’t it okay? For fuck sake, he’d played games with his own sexuality, exploring the terrible things that turned him on, engaging his wife in it, brought her into his mire, and meanwhile, she’s getting turned on, too. Getting turned on by Devlin Stone’s big dick and asshole demeanor.

But she’s here in bed telling you about her devotion. Telling you that you’re the one that matters. And, hey, how about this: If you accept Kimmy’s love and if you accept her transgression, Devlin has no power. It brings you closer together with Kimmy. When you’re mad and you’re in Rome and you don’t want to see her, you’re giving Devlin all the strength. All the power. You’re giving him a victory.

But if he saw you getting this dirty-talk hand job in bed with Devlin’s sexy Kimmy Chang, he’d shit a brick. Josh Waters is the winner here, isn’t he?

“It’s okay, Kimmy,” he told her again. Even if you let him finger you—and I know he did. “Keep going. Tell me what happened today. Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”

Her expression changed. Her eyes returned to his, back to business. “Touch me,” she said. “Put your hands on me.”

His hands went to her sides, and he loved how his touch brought Kimmy’s eyes closed, showing how she loved his hands on her, how he connected with her. He wished they could be honest and intimate, instead of honest and dirty. Honest and kinky. He wanted to make love to her again, be inside her while she told him how she told Devlin to jerk off and Devlin jerked off right in front of her. Devlin must have thought he would dominate her that way, and yet Kimmy ignored him. Turned her back on him. Got dressed and let him masturbate.

“He sat on the tub edge while I got dressed in the clothes he bought me, and he had his dick out and he was masturbating.”

“You saw him come?” Oh, how fucking horrible.

“Kind of, not really. But, yeah, I guess I did. He came all over the bathroom floor.”

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, are you kidding me?” What the fuck was going on? Devlin Stone fucking jerked off in front of your wife and you’re okay with it? No. Not okay. But something else. Something crazy. . . .