DITW 11-12: Friction

Hyun’s reaction was hard to decipher. A tremulous fluttering of her brow, crinkling for a fraction of a second in troubled folds; her lips twitched and her face jutted closer. For a fleeting moment, Kimmy thought the revelation angered Hyun, but then an expression of confusion solidified. “What do you mean?”

And now, wary she’d miscalculated Hyun’s surety, she pandered a heartfelt clarification: “It’s not how it sounds.”

Hyun’s confusion became bewilderment, and the question forming on her lips dissolved. Her eyes darted as she sought an explanation without being told—none came.

Kimmy said, “It’s a lot to explain,” and ran fingers through her hair.

“But how could it not be Josh’s?”

Kimmy sighed and averted her eyes. “It’s been a strange summer.”

Hyun rubbed her knee, looking away and lost in thought for a moment. Then she said, “It was weird when Josh came home that night. Was he mad?”

“Like I said, it’s been a strange summer. I don’t even know how to explain it.”

Hyun was more eager now, ready to become involved. “You can tell me.”

Kimmy rubbed the back of her neck, then looked Hyun in the eye. “I need someone I can talk to.”

“You can talk to me,” Hyun said with earnest zeal.

Kimmy looked down, shaking her head, gathering the courage to take this risky step forward. Hyun waited. Kimmy said, “Nine weeks ago...” Then she faltered, not sure of the best way to begin. “Josh already knows this.”

“That your baby might not be—”

“No-no-no,” Kimmy interrupted, taking a light hold of Hyun’s wrist. “I haven’t even told Josh yet.”

“Haven’t told him you’re pregnant?”

Kimmy pursed her lips and met Hyun’s gaze. “You’re the first person I’ve told. I only went to the doctor today.”

“Really?”

“Josh isn’t expecting me to be pregnant. This is going to be a surprise for him.”

The crease in Hyun’s brow hadn’t left. “But he’s going to be happy?”

“Of course,” Kimmy said. “Of course he’ll be happy.”

In the silence after this confirmation, the admission of her baby’s unconfirmed providence loomed large. The silence was filled with Hyun’s obvious but unspoken question: Even if the baby isn’t his? Kimmy said, “It’s his. It has to be.”

Hyun’s features softened to a more compassionate mask. She said, “I’m sure it is. But... but who’s this other man?”

She wasn’t sure how to answer. The thought of saying the man’s name disgusted her. She imagined hearing her voice saying Devlin Stone’s name out loud, and it turned her stomach. She thought of answering by saying it was her boss, but that was worse. That came with the connotation that her infidelity may have come from the impetus of stepping up, or worse, that her boss had manipulated her via an exchange of power. That was worse because it made her look weak. At last, she said, “A guy Josh and I know from high school.” Heat flared on her brow and cheeks. That sounded worse. High school. How immature. How juvenile. There was no way this spectacle of bad behavior could be spun to gold. No way for her bad behavior to shine in a bath of flattering light. The realization hardened some knot in her heart.

Hyun said in a soft voice, “Your boss?”

Kimmy’s corrective response was quick. “Before he was my boss.” And that meant Hyun would think Kimmy’s offered invitation inside her body garnered her lucrative employment. She groaned and rubbed her brow. “There was a... we—Josh and I—went to a high school reunion in July.”

“I remember.” And, seeing how hard this retelling came for Kimmy, Hyun reached to hold Kimmy’s shoulder, her thumb stroking lightly.

Kimmy paused, as if for dramatic effect, but she was staggered by the enormity of this revelation, growing huger in scale before her. Now, no matter what happened, the time before this conversation couldn’t be recovered. There was no going back. This would change everything forever. “I’m trusting you,” she said, her tone serious and grave, not an act, but a recognition of reality.

Again, Hyun showed that earnestness, that desire to connect. “Of course,” she said, sincere.

After a moment of consideration, Kimmy said, “I need someone to hear me. You know?” Hyun said she did, and Kimmy continued, saying, “Everything is fine between Josh and I. Yes, maybe things got a little weird between us—like when he came home that night you were sleeping over—but we’re fine. . . . If I try to explain this, you’re going to think it’s crazy, so I don’t even know where to start...”

“You can take your time.”

Kimmy looked aside, contemplating, then she said, “Josh and I have, like, fantasies or whatever. You know, we play around with each other; mind games.” Hyun watched and waited, not interrupting. “I hope you don’t think it sounds wrong. Or immoral.”

Hyun didn’t answer right away, but when Kimmy was silent, Hyun said, “I don’t know what you’re saying yet.”

“Okay. It’s like this: nine weeks ago, I was with this other guy in a way that makes me worried.”

“You slept with him?”

Kimmy shook her head. “No, it’s a...” She palmed her forehead and sighed. “It’s a stupid long shot, but I can’t get it out of my mind.”

Hyun seemed exasperated by the stalling, and presented a new direction. “How can your boss be the . . .?”

“He’s not my boss.”

“But I thought . . . Isn’t he?”

“I suppose. I don’t see him that way. I’m . . . I’m more important than he is. His father owns the company.”

Hyun lowered her eyes, thinking, saying, “Oh,” eyelashes fluttering.

None of this was going as easy as she’d imagined. Hyun’s reaction exposed a personal weakness; a shallowness that she knew existed but thought would be easier to conceal. Referring to Devlin as less-than-her showed vanity. Showed it in a way that Hyun didn’t concede—her claim had been unconvincing. And Hyun saw an aspect Kimmy didn’t want her to see. It seemed more important to show Hyun that Devlin didn’t dominate her, that she didn’t submit to Devlin. But it would be better to present it that way. Better for her perceived innocence to be portrayed as a woman subjugated by a powerful man—a time-honored tradition—than one who led her own path of dishonor. “Devlin’s my boss. He is. I don’t want you to think he took advantage of me. That’s all.” Hyun nodded and Kimmy continued. “Devlin and I almost had a thing in high school.”

“Okay,” Hyun said with easy patience, letting Kimmy roll now.

The plain truth now. “Josh likes it when I flirt with Devlin.”

“Why?”

‘She shrugged. She didn’t even know why, she could only guess. “I don’t think Josh even knows why. He just likes it.”

“So you flirted with your boss?”

Kimmy couldn’t meet Hyun’s eyes, looking away and saying. “More than that. We . . . rolled around, we, uh, we weren’t wearing clothes.”

Hyun shook her head in disbelief.

“I know. I can’t believe I did it either. But I did. And Devlin was, you know . . . aroused.”

“And Josh knows?”

“Josh likes that.”

Hyun scratched her head and narrowed her eyes, struggling to comprehend what Kimmy was telling her.

Kimmy said, “I know it’s crazy.”

“No,” Hyun said, slow and draggy, more to say but unsure if she should say it. Then: “I mean . . . Meyer liked to play games, too. It’s just...”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“No, I’m not going to. It’s Meyer’s business. But I guess I understand.”

Kimmy sighed, then said, “I’m glad. It’s so much to dump on you—”

“I don’t mind,” Hyun said, brightening. “You can tell me whatever you want to tell me. I’ll listen to you.”

Kimmy cocked her head and showed a weak smile. “That’s all I want. I need someone to hear me.”

Hyun smiled at last and the skies opened. Kimmy smiled as well, then shook her head at the insanity of it all. “There’s not a chance it isn’t Josh’s, but I can’t stop thinking of that time when...” She didn’t know how to phrase it.

“Did Devlin, you know, uh . . . did he finish?” Hyun’s eyes darted to Kimmy’s crotch, not wanting to say a vulgar thing out loud.

“No,” Kimmy said. “No, he didn’t...” She didn’t want to say this next part, but she had to for Hyun to understand why she might be worried. “He put his thing inside me.”

Hyun’s eyes widened, and, though her lips stayed closed, her jaw dropped.

Kimmy also widened her eyes, admitting how insane it was. “Yeah. I can’t even believe it, but...”

“And Josh likes that?”

This was something she wouldn’t be able to answer honestly, so she said nothing, only pursing her lips and looking aside. “So, yeah, Devlin didn’t finish, like we didn’t have sex or anything, other than...”

“He put it inside you.”

“Right. And . . . and...”

Hyun waited, face innocent, but Kimmy felt funny saying what she wanted to say. “Oh,” she chuckled and let it go. “Never mind.”

“No, Kimmy, tell me,” Hyun said, and touched her wrist again.

“Devlin’s thing is . . . it’s like, uh . . . huge.”

Hyun’s reaction to this salacious detail was unexpected. If she’d grimaced or even gagged at this disgusting revelation, she wouldn’t have blamed her. But Hyun giggled then clamped a hand over her mouth, her eyes showing the embarrassment at such a response.

Kimmy let her know it was okay by joining in, laughing too, but still trying to be serious. “Sorry. I had to say it. . . . It’s important. You know? Like, it was way inside me, if you know what I mean. And, I know he didn’t . . . uh, ejaculate. But, like, what if it was, you know...”

Hyun said, “Like, leaking?”

Kimmy nodded. “Right? Like it was...” She didn’t know how to best reinforce the message she was conveying. She tugged up the loose sleeve of her light sweater to reveal her skinny forearm, holding up a fist and showing Hyun, gripping her other hand down at her elbow. “It’s, like, this big.”

#

Josh watched Hyun’s apartment window from the Qashqai, parked at the end of the visitor’s lot, backed in so his windshield faced the building. Kimmy ran into Hyun at the grocery store, she’d told him. Girl’s night out. Dinner with Hyun and Sophie. Sure. Okay. Yeah, maybe.

But it could be bull shit, too.

It could be total bull shit.

She ran into Hyun at the grocery store and arranged a night she could borrow Hyun’s apartment. I just need it for an hour. I’ll pay you five hundred if you take Sophie out for a movie. Call before you guys get back.

Kimmy could be up there right now fucking Devlin Stone. Laid out in Hyun’s bed, taking Devlin’s monster cock. Kimmy was probably addicted to it. She could hate Devlin as much as she wanted, but her husband could still picture her with her legs spread for the man. Just fuck me, then shut up and leave. That was what the new Kimmy was like. Crazy as the scenario was, he could picture it clearly and didn’t think it was ridiculous.

Or maybe it was worse. Maybe Kimmy told her what an incredible fuck Devlin was, how rich he was, how hung he was. Maybe the new Kimmy wanted to corrupt Hyun. Maybe she would tease Hyun. Maybe she’d bring Devlin over for some fun, hoping the three of them would end up in bed together. What if they were all in bed right now, Sophie away at a friend’s house, two empty bottles of wine, three naked bodies writhing in Hyun’s bed?

He groaned and bit a knuckle, sitting in the coffin silence of his shut-down car, the windows opened a crack so he wouldn’t steam them with his hot breath in the cold of an autumn night. He unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out, the thing hard as steel and leaking with excitement.