DITW 11-21: Cadmus et Hermione

Passion pumped through her system in unexpected ways. Sometimes she lost herself in it, rolling with Hyun in her arms, suckling on her skin, enjoying the feel of Hyun’s delicate mouth on her own skin. There was no reproductive imperative, only pleasure. The act of sharing intimacy with a woman was so foreign, but now that she was immersed, so much came naturally. She loved to hold the back of Hyun’s thigh, loved to sweep her hand on the small of her back and then move it down to coddle her ass. She loved when their hard nipples met and rolled against each other. Even loved kissing her. And kissing was the most intimate.

The strangest thing, the scariest thing, was the honey-soaked space of time during Hyun’s approaching orgasm. That was when the roiling, queasy guilt returned. She would deliver this pinnacle of sexual pleasure; she would experience it with Hyun. While she’d come twice already, delivering was not the same thing as receiving. Receiving was abandon, delivering was responsibility. And with responsibility came guilt.

But she persevered, preparing herself to witness Sophie’s mother in her time of release. Hyun liked the little toy. She liked the vibrator. She did not like the threatening bulk of the Devlin replica. The vibrator made her do many things. Hyun would writhe. She would moan. Her moan was delicate, and a turn-on. She liked to grind the heels of her hands into the bed, and when she made fists, she let her curled little fingers stick out. When Kimmy would draw out the vibrator, she would roll it upward so the plastic shaft crushed Hyun’s clitoral hood, mash it while the motor had the thing buzzing. This drove Hyun wild. And that’s when she realized the orgasm was close. Hyun’s breaths came in brief in-and-outs, then she would hold her breath for seconds, then the quick chuff again; her hips moiled against the buzzing vibrator, and Kimmy kept it in place, maneuvering it against Hyun’s clit. Then small feminine cries rose and fell in Hyun’s throat. The thought occurred to her that Hyun would be silent when she came. She wouldn’t bell out a long shrieking cannonade. No matter how large the orgasm, Hyun would hold it in like a sneeze in church. The curiosity quelled the guilt and encouraged her vibrator hand to continue working. She teased Hyun, gave her what she wanted, then gave her almost what she wanted. Then the moments where Hyun held her breath lengthened. Her own complicity in this revelation was undeniable—the teasing she delivered would conjure Hyun’s orgasm. Hyun’s hips raised from the mattress. She humped her pussy against Kimmy’s teasing. The orgasm began. Hyun grabbed the bedding, a squeezed and tormented sound building in her collar, rumbling in her heaving chest. The writhing stiffened. Hyun fought the writhing’s natural progression: thrashing. Kimmy watched Hyun’s neck in the moonlight as the tendons stretched against her soft skin. A quick moment of release where Hyun collapsed in the bed, gasping and panting, and then she stiffened once more. Her legs trembled. One foot kicked out in a sweep. This was it. She’d pushed Hyun over the edge. Hyun’s legs bent then, heels pushed into the mattress, knees pointing up. Her legs flapped open, then snapped closed, and she performed a half sit-up. Her hands went over Kimmy’s, easing the pressure away from her swollen and sopping sex. Kimmy couldn’t stop the smile. She’d just witnessed an amazing and intimate sight. One that bound them. She snuffled a small laugh and kissed Hyun’s knee, her thumb finding the vibrator’s button and clicking it off.

The orgasm reduced Hyun to boneless slag. She breathed through her mouth, trying to catch her breath while making as little noise as possible. She had stifled the enormity of the orgasm. Some heroic interior soldier had jumped on the grenade.

Kimmy climbed up the bed and deposited the vibrator on the nightstand, turned and closed her body against Hyun’s. Spooned with her. She wouldn’t chase Hyun with provocative statements, wouldn’t rile her with all the itemized reasons what they’d done was okay. Only presented herself as a stalwart companion in their mutual adventure. She comforted her. Helped bring the covers over them both, re-cuddled with Hyun, both of them naked under the bedding. She brought the sheets right under their chins, hugged Hyun, kissed her shoulder. Wanted Hyun supported and safe. Hyun should feel safe with her, feel protected and cared for.

Afterward, there was no more talking, only breathing, only comfort. Hyun stroked Kimmy’s arm and let her head incline toward hers, their black hair tangling in the pillows. In time, they fell asleep that way.

* * *

But sleep was controversial. Maybe only an hour or two before she was awake again and staring at the bedroom door’s pale rectangle. It was a flimsy, hollow barrier that kept them safe from the outside world. Because what they’d done held cascading implications that flickered before her like a blackjack dealer riffling the deck. So much beyond that door would hold what she’d just done in high offence. It should bring her before a war crime tribunal. In the cool clarity of the quiet and still bedroom, the guilt returned. Hyun was delicate, and what she’d done truly predatory. And yet, even now, even facing the grimness of her immoral act, the care she felt for Hyun was real and throbbing with hot-blooded honesty. Their sexual endeavor had been a revelation; a genuine discovery. Maybe just the tip of the iceberg.

But the act also brought with it the dismaying complex of potential disaster. While the union shored up her defense, it also left a wide, indefensible swath on the battlefield. More transgressive proof.

That door bothered her.

It wasn’t enough to hold back the outside world. It wasn’t sturdy enough to withstand the boring, penetrative gaze of the suspicious. And without that door, she was naked. There would be no hiding her unclothed sin.

No familiar faces peeking into this bedroom would assemble any rational explanation. She’d sexualized Josh’s discovery, but Josh’s discovery of this indiscretion would be incendiary. And what about Sophie? The thought of Sophie wrung her heart. And her father? Her sister? Not even Devlin would get it, though it would amuse him. Maybe only Amy would see the path that brought her here.

* * *

The phone alarm went off at a quarter to five. She’d told Josh she would be home at four-thirty, but set her alarm for fifteen minutes later. The tension would drive him wild.

Hyun stirred, and Kimmy held her. Hyun sighed, the weight of morning realization settling on her frail shoulders. The thing they’d done last night was not a dream. It had happened.

But then Hyun moved past the dread, rubbed Kimmy’s arm, turned her head to face her. There was a small, uneasy smile there, but she was happy to see it. She kissed Hyun’s forehead, then regarded her a short while, caressing her cheek. They said nothing, only watched each other, then Kimmy left her, sat up and stretched. They were both still naked. Hyun gathered the bedding to cover herself. But she didn’t stay in bed, instead, stepping a leg out, saying, “Let me make you something to eat.”

Kimmy stuck a leg into her pants. “No, no, stay in bed, Hyun. You don’t have to. I’m just going to sneak out.”

“Shower here, Kimmy. I can make you some breakfast. It’ll save you time.”

She zipped the fly, buttoned the waistband, then stood topless admiring Hyun. So much goodness ebbed from her. She’d tainted Hyun’s goodness last night, tainted it for her own uses, and that was a terrible thing to do. And yet, her feelings for Hyun were undeniably caring. What she’d done was a means to an end, but she’d also given Hyun everything Hyun had worriedly fantasized. “Just some toast.”

Hyun picked up some of her clothing from the floor, holding it in double coverage over the bedding clinging to her body. “And some eggs.”

Kimmy picked up her top, holding it loosely in one hand. “You don’t have to, Hyun. Stay in bed, sleep longer.”

Hyun shook her head no, urging Kimmy, “Go, go get in the shower. Don’t worry about me.”

* * *

She would shower in Hyun’s bathroom and then come home to Josh, not smelling like sex. Not smelling like Hyun’s pussy. That smell would deliver the sweet, endless-questioning torment Josh loved, but it would betray Hyun. This was their secret.

But while she soaped and cleaned, she did so surrounded by Hyun’s personal items. Not just Hyun’s, but far worse: Sophie’s. Johnson’s baby shampoo, paraben and tear free, plus comical sponges in the shapes of rubber ducks and slices of watermelon. The squirming guilt resumed, but by the time she had cleaned up, she’d talked herself out of it, knowing in her heart she cared for both Hyun and Sophie, and she would never harm them for anything. Yes, not only that, she would do anything to protect them.

When she emerged from the bathroom, showered and dressed in last night’s casual ensemble, she found Hyun in the kitchen, dressed in pajamas, pouring a cup of tea.

“How was the shower?”

“I’m all clean,” Kimmy said.

Hyun had poached eggs and put them on toast with butter, served tea and orange juice, and cut up an apple and sprinkled it with cinnamon. Kimmy laughed and shook her head, pulling out the kitchen chair and sitting.

Hyun asked her what was funny and Kimmy told her, “You might be the kindest person I know.”

Hyun’s cheeks went red, and the sight widened Kimmy’s smile.

They ate together, though Hyun only had time to poach two eggs. Kimmy offered her one to share and Hyun said, “I’m going back to bed, it’s too early to eat.” Kimmy ate what she could while Hyun nibbled on a slice of toast, eyes darting furtively in her direction, looking at her, but not wanting to get caught or for their eyes to meet.

There was so much to say, so many things to straighten between them, but they were both too comfortable in the moment’s easy placidity. Then it was time to leave. Josh was waiting.

Hyun waved her away from putting the dishes in the sink, saying she would do it, telling her to get going, she would wash them later. Sophie was away today, not at school, but free on a PA day at her friend Chloe’s place, where they had an ice cream machine. They laughed about it, but the laugh was uncomfortable.

In the foyer, ready to leave, they stopped and faced each other. Hyun looked down.

Kimmy stood, shoes on, her shopping bag with Devlin’s big dick in it, wrapped in a towel. She lifted Hyun’s chin so their eyes would meet.

“Everything is going to be okay. Do you believe me?”

Hyun nodded, chin dancing on Kimmy’s fingers. “I do.”

“This is us. This is you and me. I’ll never say a thing about it.”

Hyun’s lips thinned, and she chewed her cheek. “Okay.”

Kimmy unlocked the door, and opened the bolt, turned back to Hyun, wanting to say the right thing, the perfect thing that would ease away all her troubles.

Hyun spoke first. “Don’t hurt me, okay?”

Kimmy winced and looked down, much like Hyun would do. She lifted Hyun’s chin again, and this time kissed her on the lips, long and lingering. “I won’t,” she whispered, kissed her once more, turned and opened the door.