DITW 14-4: Strange Creatures
Added 2024-04-06 13:57:29 +0000 UTCHyun opened the door, pleased by the unexpected visit. Right away, Hyun saw everything was not right in Kimmy’s world, stepping back and ushering Kimmy into her apartment, saying, “Are you okay?”
Kimmy trudged into the foyer. “Is Sophie here?”
“No, she’s with Meyer. What’s going on?”
Kimmy put down her bag, closed her eyes, palming her forehead, not knowing where to begin. She’d been on her way home from work and knew Josh wouldn’t be there. She texted Hyun to see if she was home and Hyun told her to come on over.
When Kimmy had no response, only standing there trying to collect her shattered world in a way she could present it, Hyun was helping her into the living room, urging her to remove her jacket and sit on the couch. “I’ll make us some tea.”
“You don’t have to do that, Hyun,” Kimmy told her, taking Hyun’s wrist and guiding her to join her on the couch. “Just sit with me for a minute.”
Hyun sat on the couch, ever patient, watching Kimmy, her posture comforting and supportive, and her presence welcoming. Kimmy said, “I’m glad you were home.”
“Is it something bad? Is everyone okay?”
“Everyone’s fine. Sorry, I guess I’m melodramatic, not saying anything. That’s not fair.”
Hyun nodded, still patient, and now Kimmy smiled. She took Hyun’s hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t called this week.”
“I know you’re busy.”
“I need to make time for you.”
“We’re both busy, Kimmy. It’s okay, I mean it.”
Kimmy licked her lower lip, her head sagging toward Hyun, their gazes connecting. “I think I messed everything up.”
“What did you mess up?”
“Everything. Josh. Work. Marriage. Career. My life. You name it.”
Hyun frowned. “What happened?”
“I...” She looked away from Hyun, wondering what way to frame this that would make sense. The truth wouldn’t make sense. “I don’t think he loves me anymore.”
“Are you sure he loved you before?”
She rolled her gaze back to Hyun, puzzled. “Of course. What do you mean?”
“He wanted you with someone else.”
“Oh. No, it’s not like that. It’s so complicated I don’t even know which direction I’m facing anymore.”
“Did he tell you he doesn’t love you?”
She shook her head no. “I see it in his eyes. Or, I guess, don’t see it in his eyes.”
Hyun stroked Kimmy’s forearm. “That’s why you’re upset?”
Kimmy put her hand over Hyun’s. “Can I hang out with you tonight? Are you busy?”
“I’m not too busy for you,” Hyun said.
“Can I order us some dinner? Can we stay in?”
Hyun nodded, smiling, leaning close and laying her head on Kimmy’s shoulder. Kimmy said, “Josh is staying at Meyer’s again.”
“Okay,” Hyun said. “Are you guys going to separate?”
Kimmy screwed her mouth up, hating the thought of abandonment, of Josh losing his love for her, of leaving her behind and moving on. The thought of him happy with another woman burned in her stomach and hurt her heart. The idea of him smiling because he was in love and it wasn’t with her and his back faced her broke her and she wondered why she would ever try to picture that. She’d done it to herself all day. “Don’t ask me that.”
Hyun went upright, apology harrowing her features. “I’m so sorry, Kimmy, I didn’t mean to—”
Kimmy palmed Hyun’s warm cheek. “It’s okay, it’s fine.”
Hyun looked down. “I’m not very good at this.”
Kimmy thumbed the soft plump shape of Hyun’s lower lip. “You couldn’t be better, Hyun. You’re perfect. You’re everything I need right now. Just be with me. Okay?”
Hyun kissed the pad of Kimmy’s thumb, eyes still averted, submissive and stinging from her mistake still. “I want that,” she whispered.
Kimmy’s hand slipped behind Hyun’s neck and she pulled Hyun close. Hyun drew her feet up on the couch and snuggled into Kimmy’s side. Kimmy closed an arm around Hyun and held her tight. And when that felt good, she held her even tighter. Tighter until a happy feeling swelled her heart and pushed away all the dread, at least for the time being.
“Sometimes I feel,” she whispered to Hyun, “like everything I want is so close, but the harder I try to claim it, the more it moves away from me.”
“It’s slippery,” Hyun said. “If you persist, I promise good things will come to you.”
“What about the bad things I’ve done?”
“If someone loves you, they’ll forgive you. And if they don’t, they never loved you at all. They were lying the whole time.”
Kimmy hugged Hyun again. “I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to make you happy.”
*
Sophie met Josh at the apartment door like she’d been expecting him. Josh manufactured joy and pleasantness, enduring a real struggle to stick his chest out, stop slouching, raise his heavy brow. Anything to conceal from Sophie the physical manifestation of his aching heart.
Sophie was pure and innocent and excited to see her Uncle Josh. He kneeled to hug her, then she brought him into the apartment. Meyer was already on the couch playing video games, saying, “What’s up, buddy,” without turning. “Give me one sec.”
Josh took his suit jacket off and sat on the couch. Sophie asked him if he wanted a drink of water.
“That’d be great, Sophie.”
Then Sophie did the unthinkable, asking him, “Where’s Aunt Kimmy?”
He said, “She has a girls’ night or something,” wondering why Meyer hadn’t explained to his daughter better why Uncle Josh was staying over yet again.
Sophie was too polite to say it, but he could read it in her eyes. Something was wrong and Aunt Kimmy was having a lot of girls’ nights. Sophie left to get him a glass of water.
“You didn’t tell her Kimmy wasn’t coming?”
Meyer paused his game. “I just said you were coming to stay over tonight. I didn’t mention Kimmy.”
Josh let it go.
He covered his eyes with a hand. “What a day today. Every hour was like ten.”
*
They ate light but still indulged. Kimmy told Hyun to get anything she wanted and Hyun used Doordash, ordering sushi from her favorite place to eat, and a box of donuts. They ate age gyoza and sushi rolls; yellowtail and spicy salmon and futo maki. They split only a single Boston cream and then lay on the couch and watched TV together, silent but embracing, the sound turned low. Later, in bed early, Kimmy told Hyun, “I don’t know if I want to have sex right now.”
“I don’t want that,” Hyun said. “I just want you in my bed.”
They lay on their sides in t-shirts and underwear, and the strongest urge pulled Kimmy’s lips to Hyun’s. They kissed, and Kimmy closed her eyes and breathed in. Hyun tasted like toothpaste, but she smelled warm and homey, like body and faded soap. It was a wonderful smell.
*
Meyer said, “You can’t trust women,” and swigged from his beer bottle.
Josh said, “That’s what it comes down to, is it?”
Sophie had gone to bed an hour ago, and now it was the two cousins, Josh on the couch where he’d be sleeping tonight, already dressed for bed in T-shirt and sweatpants. The TV was muted and the Jays and Phillies were on, the Phillies ahead by two.
“You know Sophie will be a woman some day.”
Meyer winced. “Don’t remind me.”
“Don’t reduce women to characteristics you don’t like.”
“Yeah, it sounds shitty, but I’m not wrong. Pattern recognition, cuz. I was on your couch, now you’re on my couch, and it’s all for the same reason.”
“Women,” Josh said in mock misogyny, crossing his arms and harrumphing. “We should start a club.”
“You’re joking because I’m getting too close to the wound.”
Josh leaned his head to the side, bowing his eyebrows in sly chiding.
Meyer laughed, knowing he sounded brutish. But he persisted. “Who knows what they want. If they know what they want. They’ll say one thing to mean another, soothe you, aggravate you, all of it to get what they want, and what they want is just hormonal impulses and societal constructs and I swear, the pill is fucking them all up.”
Josh shook his head, bothered by the reminder that Kimmy was on the pill and had gone on it to have an affair. And even then she couldn’t assure him the baby belonged to him and not Devlin. No, that was wrong. She could assure him, she just couldn’t assure herself. “Manipulators,” he said and swigged his beer.
“Now you’re talking,” Meyer said, and wagged the neck of his beer bottle Josh’s way.
“Talk about pattern recognition, though—we’re the common denominator. The Waters.”
“The Waters are cursed,” Meyer said. “Cursed by our love for Asian women.” He giggled at that, eyes getting sleepy, watching Guerrero getting tagged at second to end the inning. He scoffed and rolled his eyes.
In the quiet that followed, Josh considered ways he would depict to Meyer what had happened, preserving his dignity, and even Kimmy’s. How would he explain what had happened, the sheer enormity of it, without ruining his life?—without humiliating himself to his closest friend and family member?
The circumstances of Kimmy’s sins had cast him into this thick purgatory where he was held immobile, forced not to move in any way that might alleviate his torment. He had to suffer for Kimmy’s crimes.
Meyer’s head rolled Josh’s way when the commercial came on. “You going to tell me what’s going on this time? It’s serious. I feel it.”
“I don’t know what it is yet. No, I do. At least I know it’s serious. I’m sure of that.”
“Was she having an affair for sure? What, you better not tell me she’s leaving you for that guy, I swear to fucking god. That would be the fucking lowest, most evil . . . Kimmy wouldn’t do that, would she?”
A bright spot in this terrible evening switched on. It calmed him to say, “No. She is not leaving me for him. She doesn’t want me to leave her.”
Meyer studied his profile for a while and Josh faced him. They looked at each other, not knowing what to say, his cousin’s mouth screwing around, not sure what would be consoling and what would be aggravating.
Meyer settled on: “You want a shot of whisky?”
Josh sighed and rested his head back on the sofa. “I have to go to work tomorrow, Meyer.”
Meyer nodded, regarding the ball game again. He said, “We’ll do something this weekend. We’ll have some fun, loosen up. I’ll take your mind off it. Hyun’s got Sophie. We can do whatever we want.” He turned to Josh, sitting on his sofa in sweats and a T-shirt, smiling. “And you’ll have a bed instead of a couch.”
*
They kissed forever and Kimmy couldn’t remember another time where she had enjoyed it so much. Hyun had a perfect mouth, small and plump, and her body was soft and warm. No hard muscle and scratchy hair, no stubble shredding her cheeks or her neck, no hard and urgent dick poking at her, wanting inside her to spit its seed. Kimmy’s hands drifted from the small of Hyun’s back and down her panties to cup her cool ass cheeks. She guided the underwear down while their mouths still sucked and their tongues still slithered. Hyun’s breaths deepened. She’d said to Hyun she didn’t want sex, but this was something else altogether.
Hyun gasped as Kimmy stroked the folds of her sex, the membranes full and hot and sticky. She kissed Hyun’s neck. Their bodies writhed and their legs wrangled in languorous glory. Hyun pushed Kimmy’s underwear down, both of them with their twisted panties scoring mid-thigh, and now they tilted hips and touched mounds, the scratch of their pubic pelts brushing up the sexiest sound under the covers. Hyun stroked Kimmy’s belly, her palm circling low, over the magic creation growing inside her.
Comments
I think we should all remember that because a person is bullied it doesn't mean (as Devlin self-servingly claims) that they are weak or a victim... even though violence was committed against Josh, he did not submit or, accept inferiority. Neither did Kimmy until she did so in a stereotyped, feigned sexual patriarchal fashion and this she soon subverted by becoming an ersatz bully to curry favour with her 'lover'. To this extent she has made herself much more of a victim than Josh. She is colluding in the Stones' exploitation and abuse of the lower classes, not realizing that no matter how hard she tries as a woman she will never be seen as more than an alienated human resource... never as a peer... the only measure of respect she gains is as a rival... which Devlin's limited perception enables him to ignore... at his peril! Her analysis of what she has 'bought into' as Kat has pointed out is what she perceives as rebellion, freedom and scorn for others IS all those privileged things. Privilege is bad, it means you don't accept the same rules others are expected to follow, and get away with it. You are exempt. Though she feels nostalgia for her past and her partnership with her husband she also despises them, which is binding her in a knot because it entails denigrating part of what still forms her self. When Kimmy wants Josh to espouse violence like Devlin, or join with her in mocking her boss, she is ignoring the fact that this is the behaviour that led them to their present impasse. You can't do wrong and get right! We all do things wrong at times...but making wrong a lifestyle is a serious mistake...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-09 14:58:36 +0000 UTCAlso I am reminded of how Kimmy is deprived of the sight of Josh at key moments, or even closes her own eyes to not witness Josh's reactions... She often almost deliriously talks herself up as Josh's benefactor or even deliverer, evoking another great quote of Milton's from Samson Agonistes, "Ask for this great Deliverer now, and find him. Eyeless in Gaza at the Mill with slaves." This is where Samson brought low a Philistine temple by main strength killing himself in the process... a temple dedicated to a god of prosperity and kingship...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-09 04:29:53 +0000 UTCIt’s all to do with Devlin for Josh. I think if Kimmy picked anyone else Josh would have submitted. But Kimmy did it to be wicked and humuliate Josh. She also likes the power and prestige. I don’t think she is going to ruin Devlin. I think she wants to keep her game continuing.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-09 03:30:48 +0000 UTCHate to think the supernatural elements might consist of wooden dolls with sharp knives. Having said that, I like KT's Warlock story mostly because (1) it's KT; (2) I like that kind of story; (3) Keely has worked her way into the story..
Donkatsu
2024-04-09 01:43:38 +0000 UTCUntil Kimmy regains her own dignity she will not be fit to honour others with the same benevolence... Kimmy can never earn back Joshua till she is able to recognize that she herself has locked him in her box along with hope, to fester into a malaise as filthy and malodorous as treachery itself... even if it were feasible it would hardly be an hour's toil... Kimmy has been eclipsed this whole time...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-09 00:50:49 +0000 UTCI love that! I wonder what fun supernatural elements could be woven into DITW, and what they might do to our favorite characters? As for the eclipse, I imagine it magnifying her sexual urges, as the eclipse metaphorically obfuscates her moral vision, nearly completely.
Pete
2024-04-09 00:26:53 +0000 UTCYeah, she enjoys being bad and she equates her being bad with getting things she wants. Sex, orgasms, money, expensive things, power. She definitely perceives her old self as weak, and by extension sees Josh as weak as well. She loves him, but I really don’t believe she respects him, whether she’d admit that or not. In a lot of ways, Josh is kind of proving he isn’t weak though. To this point, he hasn’t fully submitted to her control, he’s wavered but he has yet to submit to the deal she’s been begging (cajoling, pleading, entreating, insert your verb here) him to take. Having money and expensive things (and having his sexual kinks met) is not worth the moral trade offs she’s asking him to make, in his mind. I’m not going to moralize about Josh’s position being the righteous one, etc. But it is the reality he lives in, and in many ways Kimmy is right, it is the obstacle keeping her from getting what she wants. She hasn’t yet broken him of that, which does show a level of resolve. I wonder if part of her frustration is because of just that, not that he’s being too moral, but that she never perceived he would be this tough an obstacle.
JL23
2024-04-08 23:17:29 +0000 UTCYes Kat! Kimmy is most definitely a sadist. Her character has definitely evolved through the series. The first couple of books I would have said she was a sheltered Maggie who just wanted to spread her sexual wings. But the recent books have been even more darker with her admitting getting pleasure from being bad and tormenting Josh! I think that evolution makes her in my opinion KT’s greatest character creation and the one with most depth. Even though I despise her as a character.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-08 22:13:43 +0000 UTCThat’s a good point, Andrew. IMO, with Kimmy it doesn’t seem to be so much her lack of experience, but her letting go of the things that held her back from having the life she has now. She said in the previous chapter, “Residual angst, abhorrence of harming another, general proclivities of moral goodness held so much of her past in place. Wickedness had liberated her from fear and from harm and shown her success and mastery over others she would have shrunk from in another life.” Sexual experience plays a part in that, but it’s not all about lust. For her, being wicked in general is what turns her on, the lying, the sneaking around, etc. By cheating on Josh with Devlin, and by extension Hyun, she’s freeing herself from her past, and her strict upbringing. I think that’s as much as a draw for her as it is for the big dick in Devlin’s pants.
Kat
2024-04-08 21:23:00 +0000 UTCLol! That’s really funny! There’s a lot of cloud cover in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) today. I doubt Kimmy was affected at all. No hope for Josh either way, though. Haha
Kat
2024-04-08 21:15:19 +0000 UTCWith the eclipse approaching Toronto do we think the effect will make Kimmy more or less sexual. Is there any hope for Josh with either outcome?
Donkatsu
2024-04-08 19:09:58 +0000 UTCDoes anyone think that if Kimmy had more sexual experiences in college she wouldn’t be the way she is? I kinda think she would be like Maggie except Maggie got to explore more with encouragement by Max. The only problem is Kimmy seems more sadistic and takes pleasure at Josh’s suffering.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-08 17:58:21 +0000 UTCPretty dark but that’s most of this story!
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-08 17:53:07 +0000 UTCWhy didn’t Hyun mention Kimmys affair with Devlin? Wouldn’t she know that’s the reason for Kimmys dire situation. And also her pregnancy worries.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-08 02:46:12 +0000 UTCI just realized what Kimmy did when she went home to the flat on P Day she pulled a 'Bartleby' on Josh. Knowing him well enough... she simply ignored Josh's efforts to push her out. When he asked her to leave she didn't actually say "I'd prefer not to!" but her obdurate avoidance had the same effect of passive resistance. Passive resistance versus passive aggressive... Josh had more resources than Bartleby's boss so that's where they find themselves on Wednesday, once more in a reversal... ironically in a purgatory. Bartleby's boss couldn't retreat to another office but THEY can entrench themselves with their allies. Given that those allies share Sophie, she is a present danger as children usually catch on to far more than preoccupied adults remember or suspect, so we can hardly look forward to a truce or a tacit understanding. Though, when you offer fate so much temptation, internecine strife is not out of the question !
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-07 18:36:36 +0000 UTCGreat discussion on this! I had long thought Hyun to be just the stock 'innocent' in all this. But, after this chapter, it seems like she clearly does have her own selfish wants. She seems to be pushing, trying to shape Kimmy's thoughts in this chapter: 1. "Are you sure he loved you before?" 2. “If someone loves you, they’ll forgive you. And if they don’t, they never loved you at all. They were lying the whole time.” 3. "I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to make you happy." #1 attempts to sow a seed of doubt. 'Are you SURE he loved you before?' #2 attempts to create a shared paradigm (or worldview). It's laying the groundwork for 'proof' that Josh never loved Kimmy at all; that he was lying the whole time. The proof is that Josh (presently) won't forgive Kimmy. It's a truth that Hyun can use as the foundation of her maxim. This is subtle, and clever. It's indirect. Hyun's learned from her mistake, #1, the direct approach, which Kimmy shot down and became defensive from. Now her assault has become more adroit. She's learned and improved. #3 This is where Hyun seizes on the opportunity to reframe Kimmy's perception. I'M going to take care of you (NOT Josh). I'M going to make you happy (NOT Josh). The chapter ends with things just beginning to get sexual, but it may continue all night and into the next morning. Kimmy's lust awakening is a golden chance for Hyun to make good on her promise to make Kimmy 'happy.' I think she may pounce on it. As their lovemaking begins, Kimmy thinks to herself that "she couldn't remember another time that she had enjoyed it so much." Coincidental? Or is Hyun highly motivated to make Kimmy very, very happy? Bringing an eagerness and passion to their lovemaking like none she's brought before?
Pete
2024-04-07 17:21:07 +0000 UTCThank you, KT for giving us this untruncated version... Enabling us to pick our way through all the sprawling broken rebels strewn like wreckage where Pandemonium will stand. I think I'm seeing more that is in plain sight and more that is hinted at and I realise patience is the key, some of the answers may not be as simple as I suspected: and fallen miltonic angels are never going to auger anything bar doubt... Keep up the good work...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-07 15:32:03 +0000 UTC"The idea of him smiling because he was in love and it wasn’t with her and his back faced her broke her and she wondered why she would ever try to picture that. She’d done it to herself all day. “Don’t ask me that." I've always liked Hyun... she gives us a breather and helps me think and is herself a foil to Kimmy... as Meyer is a damper to Josh... a damper and a foil... leitmotifs... From the moment she was introduced, as a Kimmy doppelganger and fan, I knew she would figure in the storyline... Her and her broken but adhesive family, Sophie and Meyer! She liked the earlier Kimmy... and seems a reluctant lotus eater only nibbling for Kimmy's sake. No craving for affluence, or cosmetic glamour...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-07 15:01:31 +0000 UTCThe distraction is Devlin... as you well know...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-07 15:01:02 +0000 UTCI kind of agree with you. I’m more interested in finding out what Kimmy did to Devlin when she jerked him off. I bet it’s going to be something devastating for Josh. That’s why KT hasn’t revealed what was said or did.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-07 06:02:42 +0000 UTCI agree, this thing with Hyun has the greatest possibility of destroying everything. I don’t see how any of them move past that either. It is so reckless. Kimmy doesn’t even seem to fathom how bad this can get for her. She was afraid for her dad and sister finding out about her pregnancy and Devlin. This would be even more shameful for her, because she’s cheating with her niece’s mom, while also being pregnant, daddy unknown.
Kat
2024-04-07 05:46:14 +0000 UTCI’ve given Hyun a lot of slack, but not anymore. We can blame Kimmy for her lack of self control, but Hyun knows what’s she’s doing, too. She showed her motivations when she asked Kimmy, “Are you sure he loved you before?” She’s trying to manipulate Kimmy in her own “innocent” way, trying to create doubt, when Kimmy is desperate for comfort. More than betraying Josh, I think she’s showing a total disregard for her daughter here. She can’t possibly think that a romantic relationship with Aunt Kimmy would work in this situation. I kind of wish Hyun would just go away, or spill what she knows already.
Kat
2024-04-07 05:34:51 +0000 UTCMeh. The whole Hyun subplot does nothing for me. Thats just me of course. It still feels like a distraction.
CSH
2024-04-07 04:48:45 +0000 UTCI think Hyun, the baby not being Josh's, and Josh ever finding out that he ate Devlin's cum out of Kimmy while both Kimmy and Devlin laughed behind Josh's back about it on the phone. Are quite enough events to end this marriage. Too many lies by Kimmy.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-07 03:25:02 +0000 UTCMeyer knows that Hyun is attracted to women right? Honestly, I never really paid that much attention to their back story other than they are divorced but being civil to each other cause of Sophie.
JL23
2024-04-07 00:11:12 +0000 UTCYour suggestion of Devlin being secretly sterile opens up at least one particularly dark option: 1. Josh comes to the certainty that the baby is Devlin's. (Maybe Devlin tells Josh that Kimmy told him so, or maybe Josh's anxiety just drives him to a bit of madness) 2. Enraged, Josh doubles down on his ultimatum to Kimmy (if it's Devlin's, get rid of it) 3. Kimmy's not sure who the father is, but true to her word to "do anything" to prove her love to Josh, she relents. 4. She "gets rid of it," with great reluctance and a very heavy heart. 5. She then learns of Devlin's certain sterility. 6. Two forks from here: A. She proves her love for Josh by NOT sharing this horror with him, and by bearing the burden this terrible pain alone; and/or B. This fuels a rage in her unequaled to any she's ever felt. The pain of the miscarriage, of Josh's repeated shaming of her, of his 'insufferable' inability to face the truths of who and what he is, and now of this horrific outcome that (she believes) her relentlessly unforgiving husband pushed her into, fully breaks the moral compass within her. Unable to reconcile her true love for him with what's occurred, she becomes untethered from how the rest of us process the world. A villain is born.
Pete
2024-04-07 00:09:56 +0000 UTCIf Kimmy has been doing what she is doing, because she said to evil incarnate that she eschews what is right and loves what is bad, I must have inadvertently wandered onto the wrong page on the way to my last Black Mass... She must've just been born bad a victim of wicked Asian genes... Where is Lamont Cranston's bit of fluff when you need her... Margo perhaps knows what evil lurks in the heart of Kimmy... or just women... you know... in general... If we are to judge by the word of God... the actions of one merit the punishment of all kind've makes individual free will sound pretty useless... a bit of a con job really...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 23:22:03 +0000 UTCNow I'm beginning to sound like I think Kimmy is an anomaly and has no context except the woman taken in adultery which now taints everything she touches with Devlin's copious or Josh's paltry, seed... Give me a break, Satan wipes his arse with little devlins.
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 23:07:54 +0000 UTCI agree Kat, it’s so reckless to get involved with Hyun like this, and she doesn’t see it. Reckless for Hyun as well, neither of them seem to see how this could destroy so many relationships, especially Sophie. At the beginning, Kimmy had something of an idea of including Josh in this, but then he came back from the ball game with Devlin and starting to figure out what was really happening; since that point, she’s kind of kept Hyun in a glass box for herself, something she only pulls out when she needs it. I don’t remember her once even talking to herself about how Josh might perceive what she’s doing with Hyun, it’s almost like she doesn’t ever intend to confess to any of it. It feels more and more like this is being set to blow up in her face, maybe at the end of this chapter. Even more than Devlin, this feels like the thing that will cause Josh to cut the cord in a more permanent way.
JL23
2024-04-06 23:01:22 +0000 UTCI agree Hyun is playing with fire, but Kimmy is literally taking advantage of her. Kimmy is the one who has the problem. Kimmy initiated the sex after begging off on it! At the moment, Kimmy is the one whose actions belong to someone who has nothing to lose... actions that I am sure had Hyun received honest information about would not have ended with her surreptitiously having sex with, not 'bad' or 'evil' Kimmy but 'Wrong' Kimmy... What is wrong with her... Why is she addicted to sex to the exclusion of so many other forms of social connection? She is happy to throw Josh and Hyun under the morality bus... withholding information as though words hold no meaning and supply no context to action... and her own WORD is a plastic gambling chip!
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 22:50:13 +0000 UTCI predict if the creampie is ever brought up it’s done by Devlin as way to taunt Josh maybe they are having another argument like the Hazelton.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 22:44:34 +0000 UTCAlso the baby is Josh’s and he still divorces Kimmy!
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 22:40:54 +0000 UTCVery astute observations, Kat. I often find myself giving Hyun a break, but does she really deserve it? Sure, Kimmy is insidious with her manipulations, but Hyun wants this. Her veiled hints of Josh leaving and not actually loving Kimmy make her intentions much more obvious what she wants out of this. While she is generally a sweet, kind and loving individual, her actions here aren't that. They're manipulative in their own right because she shows she has not one iota of caring for Josh's position in this. She's focused on herself and Kimmy.
L_S87
2024-04-06 22:37:20 +0000 UTCPersonally me I lost it with Kimmy because after their argument about the baby. The next day she goes to work and then Devlins apartment and gives him a handjob ( which to some people is still cheating). And possibly even more deviant things . She also told him she loved the affair even though it hurt Josh. She’s a sadist if there ever is one! She pissed all the goodwill I had towards her.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 22:29:00 +0000 UTCYes, two days
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 22:22:41 +0000 UTCI think a week?
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 22:22:02 +0000 UTCI actually drew the conclusion she had accepted Meyer's rejection because she was perhaps cheating on him with a woman and she was too embarrassed to admit it. Or it was a toss up that, or she was worried that he would want a three way, or other things that her education had taught her were improper.
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 22:11:03 +0000 UTCHow many days have passed since Kimmy’s first night with Hyun, while Josh waited in the car outside the apartment? If it’s Wednesday, does that mean it’s only been 2 days since the Hazelton with Devlin and Josh?
Kat
2024-04-06 21:50:13 +0000 UTCHyun's was immediate clichéd phatic consolation... just like Meyer. Isn't 'reeks of anger' supposition, I remember nothing from anyone, even Sophie's parents, that suggests such a degree of lingering rancour.
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 21:45:14 +0000 UTCJust when I was starting to soften towards Kimmy, she goes back to Hyun behind Josh’s back, of course. After she told him no more lies, and that she wouldn’t hurt him again. This thing with Hyun is so much worse than anything she’s done with Devlin, including getting pregnant with his baby. She and Hyun, because Hyun is not some victim without a choice, are playing with an active bomb that could result in the destruction of a family. Josh may be able to get past Devlin, but I don’t think he’s going to be so forgiving about Hyun. Kimmy seems to have a sex addiction. Why else would she keep putting herself in these situations that have the ability to destroy her entire life? She may be saying how much she’s enjoying the comfort from Hyun, and how good it feels to be with her, but the bottom line is Kimmy wouldn’t be happy in a relationship with Hyun. She’ll always need something else. She’s not being honest with anyone right now, including herself. For as much as Kimmy refers to herself as the strong one in her relationship with Josh, she’s actually quite weak. She can’t seem to spend one day without fucking someone, even if it threatens to destroy her relationship with him. I really wanted to root for her and Josh. I wanted to see Kimmy doing everything she could to prove herself to Josh, and to humiliate Devlin, even if it meant having sex with Devlin again. I just don’t see how being with Hyun is part of any master plan of hers. As for Hyun, she’s not innocent in any of this either. She knows what she’s doing. She’s the one putting her daughter’s life at risk. Yes, Kimmy and Hyun together could destroy many relationships, but this is all on Hyun now. She’s Sophie’s mother and she has a choice. Josh is with Sophie while Hyun is screwing his wife, Aunt Kimmy. I don’t see how any of this ends well. To be honest, I hope there’s not much more with Hyun, unless it’s spilling the beans on Kimmy. I’m kind of disgusted with her right now.
Kat
2024-04-06 21:40:02 +0000 UTCI agree entirely L_S , but it started as a generalized sexist stereotype... and his compassion (though I counted on it) was only clarified later... I knew someone would supply the clarification I was in too much of a rush to supply. Because, all of a sudden, I woke up to the fact I hadn't in fact yet read the rest of the chapter... I'm really sure KT loved writing the harangue. I have heard similar invidious generalizations from the mouths of women about men. Isn't life short enough without impugning our common humanity so casually.
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 21:30:32 +0000 UTC"over the magic creation growing inside her." I now become cynical, how except in the sentimental moments of some expectant parents is it magic... As it is probably Hyun's innocent reflection I withdraw my objection, KT! Another gemlike instalment. Tons of cliffhanging for me. And kudos for you!
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 21:07:01 +0000 UTC“No. She is not leaving me for him. She doesn’t want me to leave her.” I give Meyer some credit back for not high-fiving Josh, though Josh's credit sinks for revealing so readily something that doesn't show HIM in so bad a light.
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 20:56:09 +0000 UTC"The circumstances of Kimmy’s sins had cast him into this thick purgatory where he was held immobile, forced not to move in any way that might alleviate his torment. He had to suffer for Kimmy’s crimes." It was alright when I believed Josh was using sin ironically. Now he joins Meyer in the kennel... He is a whingey whining self-serving knave, who, Kimmy is right in feeling he no longer loves her and, is a prig who is full of himself and mounted on a high horse. Better tighten his cinch! Adultery is not a crime... or the prisons would be even more overcrowded... with men than women!
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 20:36:19 +0000 UTC"I swear, the pill is fucking them all up.” I presume from Meyer's knee jerk women are from Venus comment, he does not mean its freeing women from certain evolutionary consequences of sex and allows them to act with greater freedom. Though they don't have to act with the same selfish frivolous indifference that some men have always inclined to! THE pill is also yet another non-bed-of-roses women have inherited as THEIR responsibility in the 'cushy' garden of their 'lazy pampered' existence.
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 20:27:30 +0000 UTCI have a bunch off the top of my head. My favorite that Devlin is impotent. So he bangs a bunch of women without the consequences of pregnancy! Another is that Kimmy is not going to ruin Devlin but trying to get all three of them back in the game.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 20:09:28 +0000 UTCGlaucon I agree with much you say... but what we know of Hyun's situation suggests to me she can divide her dreams from the pragmatic demands of bringing up her daughter... I think even for Kimmy, she is a safe harbour... Kimmy herself feels she is in the wrong... The only truly calculating character in this story could only negotiate his way out of a wet paper bag, by doing it with a lot of unnecessary jerking and thrashing about!
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 20:00:39 +0000 UTCI think you both hit on a lot of things. Kimmy only really wants Hyun when she needs comfort and acceptance. She mentioned a few chapters ago how Hyun had been texting her for a week and she pretty much blew her off without a second thought. But when she felt Josh slipping away from her again, she immediately went to Hyun. She doesn't judge Kimmy, though I agree Hyun has ulterior motives for that, and is probably angling to build an actual relationship with Kimmy. In that way, she could be a real negative force against any reconciliation. If she gives Kimmy all the positive reinforcement she could possibly want, it's only going to make Josh's intransigence in accepting what she's done stick out even more. That I think is what attracts Kimmy to Hyun, she's comfort food in a way, and a continued rift with Josh will only give all that time to reinforce itself. But you're both also right that Hyun doesn't really know Kimmy or what she wants. And I don't think Kimmy sees her as someone she could have a real relationship with. I think the dynamic between the two changes if they were together. She talked about Josh being a damper and a foil for her wickedness, and in a way which she realized she needed both of those things. But maybe if she was forced to move on from Josh (I don't think she would ever make the decision to end it, it only would end if he ended it), but maybe if it was over and she pursued something with Hyun, maybe she could go back to a more "normal" relationship. I don't think so, I think her need now for the dark and for control is too great to give up, but it's an interesting thought. Would only make Josh feel worse if she gave it up for Hyun when refusing to for him.
JL23
2024-04-06 19:51:20 +0000 UTCI think, Kimmy can't bear the thought of Josh leaving her. Further proof to me she is as incapable of controlling herself or anyone else, as you or I. As a teacher I can tell you personal control is ever ready to slip out of our grasp...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 19:43:42 +0000 UTCI took that more to be commiseration on Meyer's part than any true feeling. He is dating again, after all, and seems to like her. This is more about, in my opinion, Meyer trying to show solidarity with Josh over them both having wives (ex wife in Meyer's case) who did them wrong, from their view point. He's supporting Josh by pointing out that this isn't his fault, don't drag yourself through the mud over it. Is it fair to women in general? Nope, not even close. Not accurate either. BUT, it's a conversation I've heard a number of divorced men have many times. So it is realistic from that standpoint.
L_S87
2024-04-06 19:42:36 +0000 UTCOf course, none of our intentions are totally pure. Language is a complex tool we are privileged to own.. it is a means of communication and a way to handle reality. But it is difficult because we think that it is possible to express the same idea in many ways... We don't 'plan' what we say... So Hyun might have sexual feelings but it was not what she said... It was Kimmy who resorted to it because it seems she can no longer distinguish between affection and sex. SHE is rewarding Hyun's amiable decency with the only currency she currently comprehends. And if you or anybody else thinks I planned any of this apart from liking your reply and the first sentence... I had no firm idea where I would wind up. And 'I' was only writing not conversing. Ideas really do pop into our heads verbally... hence the muses. KT does prodigious things with her stories... but her sentences are still linear. My starting point is that Kimmy has as little control over her thoughts as the rest of us... even less because of a recent catalytic upheaval in her life! Still liked your reply JL... despite carping over details!
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 19:33:19 +0000 UTCNo, that's a good point, Glaucon. Kimmy definitely uses (intentionally used that word here) Hyun for comfort, now on a regular basis. And while I could see Kimmy turning to her for a semi-permanent solution if Josh does leave, I think you are right in how Hyun would react to "current" Kimmy. Hyun has never seen the true Kimmy. She gets a well crafted facade for when Kimmy needs things, but she hasn't seen full on succubus Kimmy, or worse, bully Kimmy. Josh has. That's his struggle, beyond the betrayal. If Hyun learned the truth, or Kimmy subjected her to the full force of her new persona, I agree that Hyun would not like that person, at all. Hence me calling their arrangement semi permanent. If nothing else, Kimmy has learned she likes big dick too much to ever truly give that up. And while I wouldn't preclude Hyun from having an interest in sharing, she certainly is now with Josh, someone like Devlin would never work for her. Kimmy clearly has no desire to tell her about the most recent encounter. Because Hyun would hate that. I do wonder how Kimmy will react if Josh truly leaves. Her thoughts here about Josh being with another women make it quite clear how she feels about that subject. I'd be afraid for Josh's new women. Being sweet and amicable would definitely not be an occurrence. Kimmy is no Hyun with respect to how Hyun acts with Meyer (since Meyer is clearly dating again yet she hasn't said anything negative about it)
L_S87
2024-04-06 19:29:24 +0000 UTCI think you’re spot on with a lot of this. It seems to me that Hyun is a fun and comforting fantasy for Kimmy, but we see in her inner monologue that she doesn't take Hyun seriously (like when she essentially ignores or minimizes Hyun’s attempts to reach out. She only cares about Hyun for what Hyun can do for her and only when she’s in the mood). I could see them beginning a more serious relationship, but as soon as Hyun gets a sense of the reality of what being with current Kimmy would be like (or more of the truth of what’s really been going on), I don’t know if that relationship is destined for success. But who knows! There could be an inner world of Hyun we aren’t privy to where she would accept being cheated on and lied to for the sake of her dream girl.
Glaucon
2024-04-06 19:15:28 +0000 UTCProbably not, and I think she is done apologizing or confessing to anything related to Devlin. The Hyun angle is another story entirely to me, because it doesn't just impact Josh, it impacts and potentially upends the lives of three people who they are very close to: Meyer, Hyun and little Sophie. It could potentially turn into a mess that results in them losing all 3 of those people. As much as the Devlin stuff humiliates Josh, this humiliates him and potentially takes away the only other support structure he has to cope with it.
JL23
2024-04-06 18:55:01 +0000 UTCI'm not sure of Pete's theory that Hyun is the puppeteer behind it all (but that would be fun), but I don't totally buy her intentions were totally pure and totally just to make Kimmy feel better. She was angling for what happened at the end and telling Kimmy what she wanted to hear to make that happen. Of course she has no idea of what Kimmy really wants (and some of the things she fantasize about doing to Hyun).
JL23
2024-04-06 18:50:50 +0000 UTC“If someone loves you, they’ll forgive you. And if they don’t, they never loved you at all. They were lying the whole time.” That's a very myopic take, Hyun, and reeks of anger at Meyer for leaving her for her "indiscretion". And while Hyun is generally very sweet, and innocent, you can read between the lines on some of her questions where she wouldn't be too heart broken if Josh were to leave. Because she'd get what she really wants. So, yes, of all the people in this mess, she's the nicest, but as ever with KT characters, there's a bit of devil in her too. What I'm really unsure of is how Kimmy plans to reconcile the statements she's made to Josh over the last few chapters and what we see happening here. Her statements of Josh being everything, of not lying to him anymore... none of that coexists with what she's doing with Hyun. Someone she's clearly developing deeper feelings for based on those last paragraphs. How does she reconcile this plan with Devlin, fixing her marriage, keeping Josh and regaining his love while also doing this with Hyun in secret? At some point she has to share the truth with Josh or anything she gains she instantly loses again. Yet Hyun won't abide that. This seems like a catastrophic failure just waiting to happen. And while I know a lot don't see this as viable, this chapter shows me now, more than ever, that if Josh leaves, Kimmy will probably end up with Hyun at some point. Because Hyun's questions and comments here make it clear she wants that. I don't think it's what Kimmy wants, she wants to keep Josh, which is why she clearly got a bit irritated with Hyun for her suggestion of Josh leaving. I guess Kimmy's perfect world is Josh accepts her, stays, they have fun with Devlin and Hyun is a sometimes side piece. I just don't know how that lives long term. Too many secrets.
L_S87
2024-04-06 18:50:18 +0000 UTCEmbittered clichéd Meyer does not make a pretty picture. He resorts to the typical gender solidarity fall back... men cannot understand women and vice versa... Whereas human beings understand each other perfectly! Women aren't monsters because they are common and monsters aren't (does that make them individuals? Lucky sods!). See Clement of Alexandria, your ideas are still alive and unwell in the 21st Century... or should I say alive and kicking!
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 18:41:35 +0000 UTC“If someone loves you, they’ll forgive you. And if they don’t, they never loved you at all. They were lying the whole time.” How could anybody see a relationship with Hyun as a bad thing FOR Kimmy. What a wonderful piece of merciful sophistry she kindly offers her friend. Naturally some will see it differently. My response is... Honi soit qui mal y pense!
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 17:57:08 +0000 UTCMeta Question: Series End If KT decides to end this series with a surprise twist, what might be some good ones? I confess, I've binge-watched a tale about traitors lately, so my mind is suffused right now with this sort of thing. One twist ending that comes to me is... What if Hyun was the true puppeteer? Behind it all? Her agenda: To get Kimmy for herself. Bonkers? Perhaps. What are some 'possible' or insane twists that would leave you draw-dropped, whispering "oooooo, wow"?
Pete
2024-04-06 17:38:35 +0000 UTC“Oh. No, it’s not like that. It’s so complicated I don’t even know which direction I’m facing anymore.” This seeming phatic outburst reveals a deeper truth about the life she was ejected from initially by an apparent betrayal of her own physiology to be immersed by the arrival of a tsunami of sexual addiction and submission to the superficial temptation of affluence. She is stranded swaying dizzily between two momentous disasters.
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 17:24:42 +0000 UTCShe may never tell him. She's already confessed to Josh that she enjoyed it all. To her, that may feel like an umbrella confession. Also...She is a villain. Or at least a villainous character. Is it in her nature to confess to every sin?
Pete
2024-04-06 17:14:45 +0000 UTC“He wanted you with someone else.” The good old tangled web again Kimmy... as you tried to explain the effect of your trauma after the miscarriage, once again you've shifted the blame to Josh. You inverted the sin like you flipped stereotypical gender roles with your husband. Maybe you usurped him because he didn't supply strength in your time of need, instead you suffered banged up in separate cells... Could this be why you seek affection solely through sex, and you have a weird connection to Devlin which he does not reciprocate. After all what made you furious at him was his inability to cede to you what was tantamount to a favour... not to interfere with HER husband.
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 17:03:46 +0000 UTCKimmy still hasn’t told Josh about him eating Devlins creampie out of her! And then she and Devlin laughing behind his back! Because that was Kimmy at her worst.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 16:34:32 +0000 UTCKT is intentionally keeping the video of Kimmy with Devlin unrevealed which means it’s probably going devastating for Josh. I can’t wait for that chapter!
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 16:28:47 +0000 UTCYes, I should make that clearer. It is Wednesday, the next day. I imagined Josh set it up with Meyer on the phone that he would stay with him.
KT Morrison
2024-04-06 16:24:45 +0000 UTCMy other question was on timing, cause I always like to keep track of that. Is this just the next day (Wednesday) or did we jump ahead a bit? We left the last chapter with it open on whether Josh would at least stay in the apartment with her, even if they were sleeping separately. But here, Kimmy knows Josh won't be there when she gets home, and the way Meyer talks, Josh has told him he will be staying with him for the foreseeable future. Did Kimmy/Josh have another conversation we didn't see then? I don't think we'd jump too far, because I do think we'll see whatever conversation Devlin's father wants to have and if that will give her ammunition in her plot. So maybe it is the next day. Just feels like we missed something between Kimmy and Josh that lead to what seems like at least a temporary separation.
JL23
2024-04-06 16:15:40 +0000 UTCYes! Josh loves Pre-Devlin Kimmy. But it looks like she is never coming back! And she’s still doing sexual stuff with Devlin which is a big no for Josh!
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 16:14:05 +0000 UTCHe loves Kimmy, which is keeping him from leaving her completely. The issue is he loves and wants a Kimmy who no longer exists, and who has basically admitted to him she can’t go back to. The question he needs to work out in his own mind is if he can love the Kimmy who’s now in front of him. If he answers that as a firm no, then I think it’s done. For Kimmy, I think it will be over if she unveils the entire plan to Josh, plays all her cards, and he’s still not 100% with her. At that point, she’ll probably have to accept there’s no coming back.
JL23
2024-04-06 15:49:51 +0000 UTCShe told him in the last chapter that she wasn’t ready to explain what she was doing, and that he needed to accept that “he might not be ready to hear it either yet.” The implication of course is her continuing to see Devlin, and certainly that’s all Josh sees, but it’s possible she’s including everything with Hyun in that as well. I do think she knows she will have to explain her relationship to Hyun with Josh at some point. In the last chapter, she said getting Josh to be OK with what she did with Devlin was just “the first step” toward her absolution, or something like that. Josh basically knows everything with her and Devlin that truly matters, the only other damaging secret she has really now is Hyun. So maybe it’s part of her plan, but it also just feels like she uses Hyun as her substitute Josh. When he’s not engaging with her, and she isn’t obsessed with her lust, she needs comfort and support. And I could see her ultimate “revenge” plan ending with them still involved with Devlin, just with a Devlin that is completely submissive to and controlled by her, both in the bedroom and the boardroom. And by proxy, she will feel that means Devlin is submissive to Josh. Not sure either of them would view it that way though.
JL23
2024-04-06 15:44:29 +0000 UTC"The truth wouldn’t make sense." Kimmy's problems in a nutshell... though perhaps the interior size of the shell would like all minds defy the perceptions of an outside observer considerably... The truth not making sense has been her problem for a while now. Too confusing to HER first and foremost most probably...
Bill F Protagoras
2024-04-06 15:44:19 +0000 UTCI think the tragedy of it for Josh is that he still loves her and that's where the pain comes from. If he didn't love her it would be a lot easier to step away.
Glaucon
2024-04-06 15:34:06 +0000 UTCI feel like this story is on its last hurdle till is conclusion. I think these last couple of chapters are moving pieces in place! I wonder what the big set piece is going to be for this book? Like the hotel room with Devlin, Kimmy, and Josh.
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 15:31:16 +0000 UTCI loved Kimmys POV. I loved how she started feeling jealousy thinking about Josh happy with another woman. The opposite of Josh thinking about her happy with Devlin! I kinda agree with Kimmy that he doesn’t love her anymore! He’s only in it for the unborn babe and if it’s not his he’s going to bail!
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 15:25:26 +0000 UTCShe is currently cheating on him though, immediately after assuring him she isn't going to lie anymore and that she'd never hurt him again.
Glaucon
2024-04-06 15:21:39 +0000 UTCI agree with another commentator that Kimmy’s plan is not to ruin Devlin but restart their game from her vantage point before Devlin ultimately wrecked it! So basically she lied to Josh the whole time about hurting Devlin! I wonder if she is going to use Hyun as some kind of bait for Devlin down the road?
Andrew Mellein
2024-04-06 15:18:12 +0000 UTCTwo thoughts... That this was really human chapter for Kimmy, no scheming, she just truly needed comfort. And that, for both Josh and Kimmy, these may be the first steps toward accepting that they may be over. If even just one of them goes far enough down that path, I think their union (or union as it is) is over.
Pete
2024-04-06 15:15:38 +0000 UTCGuess the person I feel worst for in this chapter is Hyun. She’s too pure of heart for what Kimmy is doing to her. Well, maybe not entirely pure, I think she’s playing a bit here, to get what she wanted. But I do think overall she’s innocent and naive, and Kimmy is using her to feel better about herself. To me, there is no way to explain any of this to Josh and make him OK with it, unless she totally breaks him and gets him to submit to her wickedness. Even then, their relationships with Meyer and Sophie would get thrown into turmoil. I don’t understand at all where any of this with Hyun fits into the plan. But maybe that’s it, none of it does, she just needs something to make her feel better, something pure and loving, cause she can’t get that from Devlin and Josh will no longer give it to her. But I can’t see how this doesn’t ultimately blow up in her face.
JL23
2024-04-06 14:51:07 +0000 UTC
