Lollipop

Penelope inhaled deeply, tossed the last of her cigarette aside, and breathed out a long stream of smoke. She didn’t like being back in her parents’ house. Her three years away at uni had been her first real taste of freedom, but now she was stuck back at home looking for a job. Sometimes she needed to escape to the back garden, and smoking helped her handle the stress of dealing with her mother. They fought about everything – her friends, her clothes, her future…

She heard noise coming from inside, someone unlocking the front door and entering the house. Her mother, no doubt. She cursed and reached under the old outdoor cabinet where Dad kept his gardening supplies, fishing out her stashed-away bottle of deodorant, and hastily spraying it all over herself. Mum didn’t like her smoking either. Never mind that she was twenty-one years old. Never mind that she always made sure to do it outside. Never mind that it was her own choice and her own body. Her mother could have even given her good reasons to be against it (It’s bad for you, your father and I are worried about your health), but she never did. There was only one reason that had ever mattered in this house. Because Mummy said so.

Satisfied that she’d gotten rid of most of the cigarette smell, Penelope slipped back inside the kitchen. Her mother was coming down the stairs, apparently having dumped her shopping up there. Penelope eyed her curiously. She’d been surprised when her mother had announced she was going out into town. It was odd for her to go shopping at all, except for the weekly food shop.

“Hello, Penelope,” she said, barely glancing over when she saw her daughter. “I bought you a lollipop. It’s on the table there.”

For a moment, Penelope was stunned. Her mother had never, not in twenty-one years, bought her a lollipop, or any other kind of sweet for that matter. To do so now seemed almost insulting. “A lollipop?” she repeated, scornfully. “What, have you got a tricycle for me too? I’m not a little girl, Mum.”

“I got a few for when Halloween comes around,” her mother said, airily. “For the trick or treaters. It’s on the table if you want it.”

“Is that what you went out for?” Penelope asked, incredulously. “Halloween’s not even for another couple of weeks. And anyway, you hate Halloween. You never used to let me go trick or treating with my friends when I was little.”

But her mother ignored her, busying herself with the kitchen cupboards. Penelope frowned. Apparently she hadn’t earned a reply. She went over to the table, more out of curiosity than anything else, and there it was. A large, rainbow swirl lollipop, like something out of an old-fashioned sweet shop.

She felt a little odd staring at it. The bright candy colours almost looked like they were spinning, swirling around, pulling her closer. She blinked. Maybe she did want a lollipop. She reached out and picked it up, and all of a sudden she realised that her mouth was watering. She licked her lips and swallowed, staring into the spiral. The colours were so bright and inviting. It looked so tasty. So yummy. She gave it a lick.

At once, she felt a rush of pleasure so strong that she almost moaned out loud. She licked it again, and it was as though fireworks were going off inside her head. She’d never tasted anything so delicious. It was too large to fit into her mouth, but she shoved it against her lips and sucked on it desperately. She could feel drool running down her chin, but she didn’t care. Slowly, the lollipop began to dissolve, and Penelope swallowed down the sweetness over and over again. She licked and slurped and suckled, the lollipop getting smaller and smaller, her head full of nothing but thoughts of her delicious treat. She’d have to thank her mother, she thought. She’d have to thank Mummy for buying her a yummy lollipop.

Then, as if she was waking up from a dream, she realised it was all gone. She’d eaten the whole thing. No more lollipop. Her lips were wet and sticky, as was her chin, and she felt a horrible guilty fear welling up inside her. She’d done something naughty, she was sure of it. She was going to be in big trouble. But when she looked up nervously, she saw that Mummy didn’t look angry. She was just standing there, watching her with a smile on her face.

“Isn’t that so much nicer than those icky cigarettes?” she asked.

“Yes, Mummy,” Penelope agreed, pleased that Mummy wasn’t cross with her. Her head felt a little funny, a little fuzzy and tingly. “Thank you for my lolly!”

“Good girl for remembering your manners,” said Mummy, taking a damp cloth and wiping her daughter’s messy lips and chin. “Well, you’ve had your lovely lollipop, and now we need to do something about those nasty clothes too.”

Penelope looked down at her ripped jeans and her low-cut, figure-hugging top. “But… I like my clothes,” she said, confused. She still felt a little dizzy.

“Well Mummy doesn’t, so we’re going to throw them away. I’ve put some new clothes out for you upstairs. Go up and change into them.”

“But…”

“Penelope,” Mummy said, warningly. “Do you need a red bottom?”

“No, Mummy,” Penelope said quickly, her hands darting instinctively to her bum.

“Then do as you’re told.”

Penelope nodded. Her head was feeling a lot clearer now. She didn’t want a spanking. She wasn’t sure when she’d last got a red botty over Mummy’s knee – for some reason it felt like a long time ago, but that couldn’t be right. She was always getting into trouble with Mummy, so it must have been very recently. And wasn’t that so silly? Because really it was easy, it was so simple to just behave and do what Mummy told her. She went upstairs and headed for her bedroom, Mummy following behind her and patting her rear occasionally to speed her along.

Once she entered her room, Penelope saw immediately that Mummy had laid out a short, pale yellow dress with ruffled sleeves and a Peter Pan collar on the bed. Her name was stitched onto the front. Beside it was a pair of matching yellow ankle socks. For a moment, Penelope thought there was no underwear, but then her eyes fell upon the big white square sitting on the bed and, with an unpleasant tightening in her stomach, she realised what it was. Surely that wasn’t for her. She was a big girl. And those were for babies.

“Get undressed, Penelope,” Mummy instructed.

Penelope started to strip. She pulled her top over her head and yanked down her jeans, handing her clothes to her mother as she went. Her mother tutted at the rips in her jeans, and tugged at the low-cut neck of her top as she held it. “These are going straight in the bin!” she declared, more to herself than to her daughter.

Once Penelope was down to just her bra and undies, she paused and looked at her mother.

“Underwear off too,” said Mummy. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Penelope nodded submissively. She reached behind her to unclasp her bra, letting it fall away from her breasts, and slipped her lacy panties down her legs. Once she was naked, she looked at the nappy on the bed dubiously.

“Put it on,” said Mummy.

“Um, Mummy?” Her voice was meek and whiny. “Can’t I wear my knickers instead? Like you?”

“No,” Mummy said, simply. And that was the end of the matter. Penelope didn’t ask why not. She already knew the answer. Because Mummy said so.

For a moment, there was a pressure in the back of her head, some voice or feeling that urged her to disobey, but Penelope shook her head and ignored it like a good girl. She picked up the nappy, blushing. She didn’t mind her nice new clothes, but this was silly. It was large and thick, and it crinkled loudly. It looked even bigger and more babyish once she’d unfolded it, but she fed it through her legs obediently, pulled it up against her naughty parts, and started taping the sides together with Mummy’s help.

“There you go,” Mummy said once they’d finished, standing back to admire the sight of her adult daughter standing in her bedroom wearing nothing but a thick, disposable diaper. “Pretty as a princess.”

Penelope blushed even redder, and she lifted her arms gratefully when Mummy pulled her new dress down over her head. It was a little tight around her chest, but otherwise soft and comfy.

“Lift your feet so I can put your socks on,” Mummy ordered, and Penelope obeyed, lifting her legs one at a time and holding onto Mummy’s shoulders for balance while her frilly ankle socks were slipped over her bare feet.

“Perfect,” Mummy announced, standing up to fiddle with her collar and sleeves and straighten out the hem of her dress. “Come and see how you look.” She took her by the hand and lead her over to the floor-length mirror standing against one of the bedroom walls.

Penelope’s cheeks went scarlet when she saw her reflection. Whenever she moved, there was a flash of white from under her dress, the hint of a nappy, and the bulk between her thighs spread her legs apart and forced her to stand in an overwide, toddlerish stance. There was a twinge in her bladder, and a horrible thought occurred to her. “Mummy, am I allowed to use the potty?” she asked.

“No, Penelope,” Mummy said firmly. “No more toilets for you. That’s what your nappies are for. When you need to go potty from now on, you’ll do it in your underwear.”

And that wasn’t okay. That was too far. She wasn’t going to accept that. Even Mummy was looking at her almost expectantly, because surely she was going to argue, to refuse. She wasn’t going to nod her head and just agree to pee and poop in her own pants from now on. She was going to fight.

Instead she pouted. “Okay, Mummy…”

Mummy’s smile widened. “Good girl,” she said, primly. “Do you need to go potty now?”

Penelope nodded.

“Pee-pee or poo-poo?”

She thought about it for a moment. “Both, Mummy,” she said.

Mummy nodded. “Then you can do both in your nappy right now, Penelope,” she said, in a tone that brokered no discussion. “Chop, chop.”

Penelope looked down shyly at her nappy. It was easy enough to start peeing. It took a few seconds, but then she could feel the warm wetness spreading through her padded pants. It didn’t feel too bad, but the knowledge that she was peeing herself sent a fresh flush to her cheeks. And it was nowhere near as embarrassing as what she did next. She bent her knees a little, falling into a squat, and started pushing. She tried to pretend Mummy wasn’t watching her, but when she glanced up at the mirror, past her own face, red with effort and embarrassment, she could see her smiling. Penelope clenched her eyes shut, screwed up her face, and grunted as she dumped a warm, heavy load into the back of her nappy. She felt like a stupid baby, but knowing she was being a good girl made her head tingle with pleasure, just like it had when she’d had her lovely lollipop. She bit her lip as she pushed another wave of poo-poo into her pants. Then, a little dazed, she finished going potty and looked up.

“Good girl!” Mummy said, looking very pleased.

Penelope smiled. “Can I have another lollipop, Mummy?” she asked hopefully, straightening up.

“No, Penelope,” said Mummy. “I think you’ve had enough lollipops. All that sugar will ruin your teeth! But if you’re a very good girl, Mummy and Daddy will buy you a tricycle. You can ride it around outside and show off for all the neighbours.”

“Yay!” Penelope cheered, jumping up and down and flashing her loaded, sagging nappy. She really wanted another lollipop, but a tricycle would be almost as good. “Thank you, Mummy!”

“You’re welcome, little girl. I have a feeling that this time around, you’ll be good enough to earn a lot more treats!”