The Good Life: Kaiju Fights (ch. 108)

I was a thirty year old man, and wisdom came with age. I wasn't the eighteen year old boy I once was, shaking his fist at an unfair world, angry and disappointed that it didn't live up to my expectations. I had spent a year cultivating a fight that saw the destruction of my world in nuclear hellfire, another year in an entirely separate post nuclear apocalypse hellhole, and then another year playing a subtle game of influence and leverage in a world full of magic. There was the odd month here or there that I spent at El Dorado, of course… 

But I had spent eight years in Final Fantasy. I was biologically immortal, so losing ten years or a hundred didn't make much difference to me. However, I still felt those years. I lived them. Picked up a few skills, mastered a few others, all so I could say that it was time well spent. And with that time came a fact that I never really thought that much about. 

I couldn't have my cake and eat it too. Not always, at least. I had gotten pretty good at getting what I wanted, but not always.

“I should be going with you,” Zack said, a heavy weight on his shoulders as his hands curled into fists. Behind me, a Huge Materia was being loaded into the closest thing this world had to a jet plane. Its design was an interesting mixture of understanding the laws of physics and breaking them with Gravity Materia. With it, a handful of SOLDIERs were being loaded into the ship, Sephiroth and what was left of the Second Class. 

“You’re needed here,” I told him, and it really was a shame I wouldn't be here to see it. Oh, what I had planned…! I was almost tempted to leave a synth behind, just so I could harvest the memories, but it almost didn't seem worth it if I couldn't use my Room to really feel how the confrontation would go. 

In a few hours, Cloud and Avalanche would fight their way up the tower to stop the plate from being dropped. Zack would be here to stop them, and he wouldn't have a smoking hot childhood friend with massive tits to tempt him to the Light Side. Meaning that the only way to stop the plate from falling would be to go through him. 

Oh, the drama. Top tier, soap opera tier drama, and I wasn't going to be here to see it. I could almost weep. Yet, I had a date with Yoruichi and a giant kaiju monster -- between the two, the choice was obvious. 

“I know. I know,” Zack agreed. “We poked Avalanche and they're going to poke back. Someone needs to hold down the fort. Just feels like I drew the short straw,” he grumbled with a loud and dramatic sigh. Then he fixed me with a stern look, “Be careful, Law. I got a real bad feeling about this whole thing, and you're a lot squishier than us.” 

“I'll be careful. And in the face of giant monsters, I'm pretty sure that we're all equally squishy,” I added, punching him in the shoulder and trading a quick grin with him before turning away. I honestly didn't know if I would see him again. It all depended on how pussywhipped Cloud was without actually getting any, and how much of a Company Man Zack was. 

It would be a shame to lose him, but no matter what, I was going to win, and keep winning. It was only ever a question of how much. 

So, I headed into the airship, Zack and Angeal seeing us off after Sephiroth exchanged a few quick words with his old friend. He entered the ship, taking a seat across from me, with an obvious tension in his face and shoulders. With every second counting, the ramp closed with a hiss of air before the ship began to rise up. 

And then we were off. The jet was fairly fast, top of the line tech that had been in development for a long while for the Wutai War. An airship that could reach all corners of the world within twelve hours, allowing SOLDIERs to deploy rapidly wherever needed. While SOLDIER had since fallen from grace, and the jet itself wasn't quite what it was designed to be, it was good enough to get the job done at a speed of around twelve hundred miles an hour. 

Yet, it still wasn't quite as fast as we needed it to be. 

“We're going to be late,” one of the SOLDIERs remarked, looking at a hologram of our journey like a sci-fi GPS. “How much damage do you think that thing could do in ten minutes?” That was how short we were on time -- ten minutes, and we'd arrive just in time to watch the WEAPON arrive and maybe take a shot at it with the big gun. But we wouldn't. The only way that we could have was if we were already on our way before the first sign of detection, and that was with the pedal to the metal. 

Instead, we were going to arrive at an absolute slaughter. Luckily, Junon wasn't particularly important as far as cities went. Nor would its loss impact any production base that I wanted to take advantage of in the very near future. 

That was, of course, assuming that I was wrong about where Asami would have dropped Yoruichi. For all of her willingness to compromise her morals for the sake of putting me down like the rabid dog I was, I would and still did consider Asami a moral person. The kind to see a disaster coming, such as a Godzilla-esk kaiju wiping a city off the face of the planet,, and try to do something about it. It fit her personality. 

Get Yoruichi out of the way and save a city. Two birds with one stone that she was also was throwing right at my head.

“Is there even a point in going? We should pull back, figure out what this thing is-” a Second Class started, only to cut himself off so sharply that his teeth clicked at a glance from Sephiroth. 

The tension swelled in the ship to the point that you could choke on it. Sephiroth wasn't entirely unaware of it, and his gaze flickered to me, almost pleadingly. 

Anything for my buddy. Just to think, with a few more touches and a mental breakdown, we were going to be the best of friends. “We already know what the creature is. Just as we also know what they want -- Mako energy,” I started, bringing the dozen SOLDIERs to me. “To that end, it's going to head for the reactor in Junon, which we can use. Our job is to plug in the Huge Materia and buy enough time to line up a shot.” 

That earned a few nods, so I finished my impromptu pep talk, calming their nerves and getting their heads in the game. “This creature- these WEAPONS? Two thousand years ago they were unstoppable, but we've come a long fucking way from pelting monsters beyond our comprehension with sticks and stones. We have big swords and even bigger guns, and that thing will bleed and die like anything else.” 

That twisted the tension on its head -- everyone liked to feel like a badass, after all. They cracked grins and jokes, losing that edge of fear as it was replaced by confidence. Misplaced confidence, probably, as I'm almost certain that this was going to be a one way trip for most of them. Downside of being cannon fodder, I guess. Not my problem. If anything, it worked to my advantage. 

“Thank you,” Sephiroth said softly, and I flashed him a lopsided grin. 

Oh, he was in for a rough day. 

The rest of the trip went relatively smoothly with the tension only swelling once more as we neared our destination. All the more so when a voice made the announcement that they all were dreading. 

“The creature has made landfall. Transmitting visual feed now,” The pilot informed before the hologram flickered to become some shaky cam footage off… 

A flower monster? 

Well, not quite. It was serpentine in nature with large petal-like wings flowering across its titanic body. It had an armored like human head with a large horn jutting up from its forehead while a teal glow emerged from its mouth, its arms reminded me of a praying mantis with blades for hands. All the while, as it erupted up from the sea, shedding millions of tons of water that fell down in streams with thunderous force, it revealed that the creature was capable of flight. 

It was also big. Way bigger than its shadow under the sea had hinted. It was easily a mile long in length, but probably bigger with each of its bladed hands as large as Shinra Tower. 

It was a proper kaiju. 

“They're fucked,” A SOLDIER breathed, eying the hologram with a cold revelation that in the ten minutes it would take us to arrive, there simply wouldn't be a Junon left. That was all the more clear when the glow intensified around the WEAPON’s mouth, revealing that it had atomic breath. So cool! 

It was almost a disappointment when something blurred forward and struck the WEAPON with enough force to bottom of its chin that its jaws snapped shut. Much to the bafflement of those inside the airship. 

“That looked like a hit- do we have an asset on the ground in Junon?!” A SOLDIER yelled, looking to Sephiroth for answers. He didn't have any, while another demanded for the recording to be slowed to see what hit the WEAPON, but there was only a blur for a few frames of the video and they were too washed out for any detail. Yet, I already knew who it was as the WEAPON staggered back from the blow. What I was less sure about was who was fighting with her as large swaths of the sea were being turned to ice to prevent a tidal wave from sweeping over Junon. 

I felt a knot of tension I had been carrying for years now come undone as the plane continued to speed ahead, desperately trying to arrive in time to make a difference. And it was as the WEAPON recovered from the blow and began to lash out, this time a tightly controlled beam of atomic breath cutting through a mountain side like a knife through butter that Sephiroth made a call. 

“We don't slow down,” Sephiroth decided. “We drop into the city at our current speed. Dr. Waterloo?” 

“I can handle a rough ride,” I agreed, giving a thumbs up. The decision to not slow down shaved off a few minutes from our arrival time, as it was generally a good idea to not fly Mach 2 when trying to land. The decision sent the SOLDIERs into a flurry of last second preparations before the ramp door began to open. Sephiroth took the lead and simply stepped off the end of the ramp, and it was clear how fast we were going when he swiftly became a spec in the distance. 

The other SOLDIERs followed suit, with me and a final pair jumping out with the Huge Materia. They made sure to grab hold of me, thinking that I needed their assistance. Meanwhile, I looked on from above at the WEAPON, which seemed even more massive than the hologram had indicated. It was absolutely titanic, easily as big as the city that it was attacking, and that made me realize that I had underestimated the power of the WEAPONS just a touch. 

Not that it really mattered as I also saw a thread of lightning left in the wake of Yoruichi as she battled the creature. I could hear the seismic claps of impact as she kicked the creature back, chunks of its exoskeleton as large as buildings crumbling with every blow, but the WEAPON wasn't merely big. It was shockingly fast. 

Missile-like scales erupted after Yoruichi, tracking her down as she moved with blistering speed while the creature lashed out with mountain-sized blades. The air pressure generated with the speed of each swing sent super tornado-like gales of wind tearing through Junon that tore buildings off their foundations and sent them flying. All the while, the air and water swirled unnaturally, telling me that materia was in play. 

I was glad that I held off on implementing my Magic Circuits. My Room swept over the creature and I could feel the power lurking within the materia that served as its core. It made every Huge Materia that I had gathered thus far look like a joke. There was more raw Mako energy in it than a reactor could suck up in a year going full throttle. 

The WEAPONS were exactly what I wanted them to be. Now for the task of killing it. 

With my Room, it was simple enough to maneuver around the powerful gusts of wind as we paradropped to our destination -- the big gun. One of the SOLDIERs used a Gravity Materia to slow our fall, letting us land lightly on the rooftop. From there, they swiftly abandoned me to go get stuck into the thick of things against the WEAPON. 

It was quite a sight. A much more appealing apocalyptic event than a simple nuke. 

“I gotta get myself some of those,” I said, performing a quick Shambles to get the Huge Materia where it needed to go. Wasn't a point in putting on appearances as everyone in the base had left in a hurry to save themselves since the gun was just a giant paper weight without any ammo. “This should help my case with Jenova. She'd know how big of a deal killing a WEAPON is.” 

I had a plan in place for that and there was a window of opportunity to exploit. I just had to thread a needle -- weaken the Life Stream enough, but not so much that it decided to GTFO. And I had to present my case to Jenova and convince her that I was capable of delivering on my end of the bargain. 

Humming to myself, I snapped my fingers and the facility came alive while I slotted in the Huge Materia. Eight years of practice had given me fine control over my powers, and speeding the thirty minute warm up process down to thirty seconds was simple enough. Meanwhile, I headed to the targeting system to see that the creature was just out of range for the gun. I could try shooting the bullet and having it circle the planet to hit it, but that'd take a day to arrive. 

Instead, I spoke, “Yoruichi. It's me. Could ya’ knock it a few hundred feet to the left, please?” I carried my words to her ears, though it was a difficult thing to do given how fast she was bouncing around. I felt a flicker of surprise from her, but sure enough, Yoruichi did as I asked and kicked the mountain sized creature in the side of the head to send it flying. I genuinely wasn't sure what was more impressive -- her raw strength, or the fact that the WEAPON was shaking off the blow and making to lash out. 

Behind it, a storm was brewing. Clouds blackened, wind swirled, and the sea rose to meet the sky. The mother of all hurricanes was being born before my eyes as I pressed the big red button. 

The mountain that served as the stock of the massive gun shuddered. The Huge Materia, which was full to the absolute brim with power, was instantly depleted. It served as the spark to send a bullet that weighed north of five hundred thousand tons out the long barrel at about Mach 10. If there was anyone left outside of Junon, then they were probably deaf when the loudest gunshot in the world rang out, so loud it might literally be heard around the world. 

The effects, however, were immediate. 

The bullet struck the WEAPON, and it exploded in a way that was reminiscent of those videos of ‘what does a 50. Cal bullet do to a watermelon?’ The answer? Reduced to chunks. 

The top half of the WEAPON was reduced to a mist and bloody chunks, a bright glow coming from the materia that served as its core that was now exposed. The body began to fall from the air a second later, like a puppet being cut from its strings, and it hit the water with a clap of thunder. A tidal wave swept up, but Sephiroth and that woman- Yamato, her name was, I think. They used her frost powers and Ice Materia to flash freeze the tidal wave in an attempt to save the city. 

Which left me to arrive at the tip of the barrel of the gun, and in a blink of an eye, I was greeted with a familiar face. 

“That was fast!” Yoruichi greeted me with a smile and a cocked hip. “I thought I was going to be stuck here for ages before you found me. How'd things go with Asami? Have fun?” 

Ah, it was good to see her again. She was exactly as I remembered her -- dark violet hair, warm mocha skin, golden eyes that danced with a cat-like mischief. Which made absolute sense, given that it had been maybe five minutes since she was punted out of the universe and dropped here by Asami. 

“More like a decade,” I corrected, rounding up a little with a cocky grin. “It took about three months to get enough juice to reach this world, then I spent about nine years waiting for you to show up.” I answered, and Yoruichi blinked quickly at that before a soft smile tugged at her lips. “I figured I’d find you where the biggest mess was. And here you are.”

“Find me at the center of trouble? I'm pretty sure whatever that thing was, it was probably your fault,” Yoruichi said, skipping over to me and giving me a look over. At my smirk she let out a huff of amusement. “It actually was, huh? I'm not even going to question how you managed to swing that, but… you look good. That serum really juiced you up, huh?” She remarked, patting my shoulders and arms. 

The last time she saw me, I had been on the cusp of death, needing an emergency surgery and only recovering thanks to the serum that now flowed through my veins. 

“Yup. And made me immortal, so you don't need to sweat a decade,” I assured her and she flashed a smirk, my powers telling me the information that I had spent a good chunk of my lifetime waiting on her had been weighing more heavily on her than she was willing to admit. “Now that you're finally here, it's time to start making some moves. We got three months left to finish taking over this world before heading back, to avoid any time paradoxes. You haven't had a chance to see the highlights yet, but this world is great!” 

Yoruichi responded by hooking an arm around my offered elbow, turning in the direction of a burst of Conquerors Haki down in the city below. My lips curled into a smile as I looked down to see Yamato unleashing a roar, swinging at Sephiroth with all of her strength. That was the downside of her version of the serum, I recalled -- FEV induced rage. 

“Let her play a bit,” Yoruichi said as we walked along the barrel of the gun. “She could be fun to recruit.” 

“The one she's playing with is going to be a friend of mine,” I told her, watching as Sephiroth was smashed through a building. I think for the very first time in his life, he was finding himself outmatched. It would be good for him. 

“Oh? How about you tell me what you've been up to for the past decade. Is it all as exciting as giant monster attacks and new friends?” 

“Yoruichi… Oh, you have no idea!” I said with a smile. 

Damn, it was good to have her back.