A Pirate’s’ Life For Me - Gawain

A What-if omake that depicts Rob Loxley summoning a wildly different Servant than who he summoned on Throne Thief in the form of the duo of Anne Bonny and Mary Read. This omake was made possible by Gawain on the patron discord, I am very thankful for his support.

All things considered, Rob Loxley had been very lucky to not have been too late.

Considering the variety of shifting cogs present within the Holy Grail War of Fuyuki, even with (or perhaps because of) the diminished state of the Fifth War after the turning point presented by the Fourth, a single missed hour could have been the end of his dreams, as the Servant Class he’d been planning to summon was filled before he could realize his own destiny.

Thankfully for our story, such a thing never came to pass… And we are not here to dwell on that particular what if, as surely the boy would not have given up there after coming all this way. No, what we are here to discuss is a far more lighthearted scenario.

That is to say… What if Rob had been early?

Let’s say by a week at the very least. Far back enough that most of the Servants wouldn’t have been summoned by their Masters just yet. Which also would have been far back enough, that perhaps the Magus that Rob stole all of his knowledge of the war from hadn’t yet developed a way to disqualify the many faces of Hassan-i-Sabah from being summoned.

So having not locked himself into summoning an Assassin, and several Servant Slots yet to be filled. Rob Loxley would use a regular chant, and by dint of fate, and a bit of added contrivance, when he opened his eyes after that flash of light…

He would be met with…

Two people.

Even for someone as… unusual and inexperienced as Rob Loxley, the fact that he had summoned two Servants would have been a factor of shock… if not for the fact that their appearance had completely left him speechless.

“Servants… Rider.” The taller and more voluptuous one said, giggling cutely at the awestruck look on her new Master’s face.

“Are you surprised?” The shorter yet surely no less cute of the two spoke, her tone a lot more reserved and surly, but with a face like hers… it only increased the cuteness factor. “The two of us are One Servant.”

“I am Anne Bonny.” They traded turns speaking, never interrupting each other’s conversations yet never missing a beat either, showing off the synchronization they had honed over a lifetime’s worth of experience with each other. “And She is Mary Read.”

“Pleased to meet you.” They ended, at the same time.

Rob, for his part, could not respond for a long time.

“Hmph, I think you broke Master, Anne.”

“Ehehe, so early?”

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“You two look amazing!” He would say eventually, as he was bound to say to anyone that appeared before him, so great was his awe at the turn of his fortunes… so high on life was the boy who would seek affection above all else.

The voluptuous one would look away, pretending to be abashed yet oh so very happy. “Ehehe, come on Master, you’re making me blush!”

And while her partner would say those words, the smaller one would tug at his clothes, making him look down with a curious look. “...My scar doesn’t bother you at all?” She would ask demandingly, looking all the more cute because of it.

The boy, who had barely noticed its existence would only blink, and ask.

“Eh? Why would it?”

Mary Read would look away, a dusting of red on her cheeks. “Master is very dangerous.” Anne Bonny would grin and nod, all too happy at this turn of events. And then they would both giggle when Rob inevitably whined.

Cuteness was indeed a danger of its own, as this trio would display time and again.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

If one thought that Tamamo Vitch Koyanskaya was a wildcard, they would have been surprised at just how far she had to go to match the levels of chaos that would be caused by her being replaced with the duo from Calico Jack.

For you see, Koyanskaya had a concrete goal that she worked towards, and though that goal was flexible and could be warped around any new development (say, an ever growing fondness for her Master), all that the two pirates desired was Adventure.

None of them truly had a wish for the Holy Grail now that they had each other, beyond more Adventure together. And there would be plenty before the Holy Grail War was over.

For this War was one filled with Villains that needed to be ruined, and of course, plenty of booty to plunder, as their enemies would find out in short order.

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“So much loot!” Rob Loxley would shout, eyes literally shining with the brightness of what he beheld.

“The quality is amazing too!” Anne would say, literally swimming with gold. “You can really tell! A bag of this would have you set for life.” A pause. “But we’re not taking a bag!”

“Rob! Rob!” Even the usually stoic Mary would have a wide grin on her face as they all ran around like mad people possessed by the very spirit of Greed! "There’s a giant ship over there!” She would say, clinging to her Master’s arm and Hand.

“I’M GOING TO STEAL IT!” Rob roared, and his Servants cheered, much to the chagrin of a certain someone.

“GET OUT OF MY TREASURY YOU MONGREEEEEEEEELS!”

“””NO!”””

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And of course, no Adventure would be truly complete without the friends we made along the way, and that was what Rob Loxley treasured above even the mountains of gold he was destined to plunder on his journey.

There would of course be the usual. For the deal that Rob had shared with a certain someone was one that transcended the barriers of worlds in order to be fulfilled. And he was just too much of a thief to not go after a particular book.

But his relationship with his Servants, the people who he was destined to meet first, the ones that would pave the way for his journey to achieve the love that he sought, those relationships would be just as special.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

“You treat us so well, Master.” Anne Bonny whispered into Rob’s ear, making him shudder as her pendulous breasts pressed into her Master’s back. The significantly more petite Mary Read pouted, but before long, she was able to round the two lovebirds.

It was she that delivered the first kiss… pressing her lips against Rob’s in a way that one might consider to be too innocent and chaste to expect from a pirate, yet it fit her so perfectly. “Let us spoil you too.” Mary finished for Anne.

“So generous, kind… “ Anne said, kissing alongside Rob’s neck and making his shudders worsen in the process….

“So strong and talented.” Mary continued, her fingers trailing along Rob’s abs, to trail all over his muscles as he groaned in pleasure.

“Dashing…”

“…Brave.”

“Chivalrous…”

“...Amazing.”

Compliment after compliment they gave, until their Master was covered in kisses, his whole body flushed a deep red, a certain part standing at attention while he supported a gigantic smile of happiness that just refused to go down.

“You should be careful.” Mary said finally, after they had exhausted all of their words of kindness, and all that was left to do was show their affection in action rather than words. “Or we might fall for you for real.”

“Is… that a bad thing?” He asked.

The two pirates shared a look, and smiled fondly at their Master’s innocence.

“Not at all.” They both said at the same time.