September 2021 - $1 Tier Apology Email
Added 2021-09-30 20:58:08 +0000 UTCDuuuude. We don’t have your dollar. I know, I know, we said we’d give it back. And this email comes to you as a direct contradiction of our previous messaging. But you know what we’ve got? A story. And isn’t that what’s most important in life? The stories we tell, that’s how we communicate, how we share our lives with each other -
You want your dollar? Ok, well that’s not gonna be possible. And here’s why.
We framed it. See, we framed it, like, in celebration? And so we’d know where it was when we needed to return it to you. But mostly to commemorate our first dollar borrowed from our great friend [YOUR NAME] through Patreon. And what an accomplishment it is! Aren’t you proud of us? We know we’re proud of you.
So we left for the weekend - we separate work and life, we have boundaries, these are all good things, right? And our regular armed guards patrolled the premises like they do every weekend - thanks for your help Ronald and Linus!!! and you’re not going to believe this - but they were distracted by a beautiful woman that turned out to be a deceptively painted trash can. They were then unfortunately hogtied by a group of as-of-yet unidentified professional thieves who proceeded to use acrobatics to hop over the laser alarms, and then drilled holes through the safe to steal the dollar you loaned us. They escaped from the roof using a carefully lined up aerial ladder from a borrowed fire truck.
But hey, we’re going to get your dollar back. We’re going to! Cross our hearts. The heist team wasn’t a plant or a laundering scheme or anything. We’re going to get your dollar back - but in pursuit of that, we’ve gone ahead and debited your card on file another dollar. For the rescue efforts. You understand, right?
Comments
I wish you luck on pursuing those dollar stealing burglars.
rubynall
2022-01-03 14:28:45 +0000 UTCAll's good, just uh... don't tell my mom about this please?
FoofofDeath
2021-10-12 23:44:51 +0000 UTCShow feet.
Show Feet Guy
2021-10-12 18:54:11 +0000 UTCGoddam Markiplier!!
Kirsty coulton
2021-10-08 08:27:06 +0000 UTCMan if I had a dollar for every time I've been distracted by a deceptively painted trash can.... I'd have to go to get them converted into GBP cus you can't use US dollars in England.
Aries Chaos
2021-10-06 15:54:15 +0000 UTCVibez#8332
2021-10-05 00:53:28 +0000 UTCit’s just da green baby G
Natasha Kennedy
2021-10-04 18:20:11 +0000 UTCYou better be sorry >:(
2021-10-02 20:46:42 +0000 UTCDude what the hell that was my rare dollar! It was worth 500 pennies man! Ugh... just when's the next D-club meeting?
TheSpookiestSkeleton
2021-10-01 19:43:43 +0000 UTCUm, the bank note I loaned you had a picture of Abraham Lincoln on it, so... where’s that at? 😜
BoodaSRK
2021-10-01 15:37:57 +0000 UTCThe lower tier of patreon subscription is 1$. In the tier's description they ask if they can "borrow a dollar." And here they are apologizing for losing said dollar, I think.
2021-10-01 10:58:18 +0000 UTCi think a good reminder of how much we all loved dave (RIP to a real one) and how proud we are of everyone (except for that Totally Real Not Suspicious Story's heist team, cuz shame on them for stealing THE dollar) would be to put an IOU in the frame until its returned. hopefully at least the IOU note will be fine, and won't have any mysterious food stains or ominous disappearances of its own. an IOU should be safe inside such a well-secured facility, such as Game Grumps HQ, right?? surely!
Al Kordella
2021-10-01 03:32:08 +0000 UTCBoom... there's a boom in the shot...
Lurkybot3k
2021-10-01 01:11:02 +0000 UTCThe $5 was used yo buy that less than foot long
Kyle Major
2021-10-01 00:33:12 +0000 UTCHmm you have a lot of details on this crime. Those security cameras were wet up nice. Anyone seen ninja Brian lately
Kyle Major
2021-10-01 00:32:14 +0000 UTCI legit love the concept of you guys coming up with a reason why you lost my dollar every month for a dollar.
Lawnmowerdude
2021-10-01 00:30:37 +0000 UTCCall the eff 🐝 👁️!!!
The Data Diddler
2021-09-30 23:17:50 +0000 UTCTy for being honest 😌💗
Finnen Cerises
2021-09-30 23:15:25 +0000 UTCThis patreon confuses and confounds me. I mean, take my $5 with love...but what is happening here exactly?
2021-09-30 22:45:59 +0000 UTCThis is peak shit posting and I love it.
2021-09-30 22:30:38 +0000 UTCwhst about our 5
Mark Blythe
2021-09-30 22:26:40 +0000 UTCDamn that’s crazy. Good thing I did the $5 thing, I bought Arin a sandwich and y’all’s shit got stolen lol
2021-09-30 21:41:29 +0000 UTCI cool with that, bros. Just let me know if you need another for groceries and stuff.
2021-09-30 21:40:34 +0000 UTCI guess I can spare another dollar... 😉
Melissa Di Varano
2021-09-30 21:34:52 +0000 UTCAgreed
2021-09-30 21:29:42 +0000 UTCI'm happy to support the Grumps through both Youtube membership and Patreon but ngl these patreon rewards are kinda weak.
2021-09-30 21:24:40 +0000 UTCSo.... what actually happened lol
Miyagawa Ketsueki
2021-09-30 21:21:12 +0000 UTCFINE take another dollar...
Victor Blas
2021-09-30 21:19:59 +0000 UTCI paid for this
2021-09-30 21:18:27 +0000 UTCWas Ross behind all of this? Maybe Dan knows the truth.
Hannah Sheridan
2021-09-30 21:09:27 +0000 UTCDamn that’s a great use of our dollar love it
Tyler Eckhardt
2021-09-30 21:09:14 +0000 UTCI dunno man. Kinda want that dollar back. I've got a lot of dollar stuff to do.
Kyle Colley
2021-09-30 21:09:08 +0000 UTCDan looks a little suspicious 🤔
2021-09-30 21:07:22 +0000 UTCWell, shiet.
Alyssa Linzmeyer
2021-09-30 21:06:45 +0000 UTCThat’s a lotta words
2021-09-30 21:05:10 +0000 UTCWe understand +$1
2021-09-30 21:04:43 +0000 UTCThe action film we have wanted, that dollar went through quite the trip. Let’s hope the boys can safely get it back 💸
CheetahZoey
2021-09-30 21:01:32 +0000 UTCArin, I love you but your nose hair looks like a spider leg and I can’t not see it now.
Magpie
2021-09-30 21:01:30 +0000 UTCHow could this happen? I can’t believe they got past your monkey child that you keep in the grumps room
2021-09-30 21:01:26 +0000 UTCOh just keep it ya crazy boys. I got another one somewhere.
Sarah Reis
2021-09-30 21:01:21 +0000 UTCPlease return my George to me :-(
Sean Ducharme
2021-09-30 21:01:00 +0000 UTCDan looks like he knows something...
Reid Stein
2021-09-30 21:00:43 +0000 UTCAll he wanted was some mushu
Kevin Baird
2021-09-30 20:59:35 +0000 UTC
