February 2022 - $1 Tier Apology Email
Added 2022-03-01 19:01:01 +0000 UTCHello [YOUR NAME],
This month, we were just about to mail your dollar back to you, when a gust of wind blew the doors open to our office, swept the dollar away out the door and into the streets and sky. We watched it leave us in a beautiful flurry and spent the entire afternoon and well into the evening searching the neighborhood. We asked the elderly and young alike if they had seen our dollar and they said they hadn’t, and we wondered if they’d ever lie to us, our dear neighbors, and thought better of it. Then, we went back to the office, ate seven Big and Bold Chicken Bacon Ranch Hot Pockets, and entered into a fitful sleep.
That night, a storm approached and cascaded upon us in the night and the windows shook with thunder and sometimes even lightning. In the rumbles and sometimes flashes of white-purple and downpour of sheets and sheets and rain we thought we saw something out the window, a glint of green, the stare of a disembodied George Washington, far away and yet watching. As if his paper eyes were tracking us through the windows. Something deep in our bones told us to run, to chase him, to hear of what he had discovered in the great wide world could change us. Would it be worth it to find out? Even if it cost us our sanity, or even our lives?
We decided against it, citing the cold rain, and stayed put on our office-cot, and tried to sleep again, but we couldn’t, so we listened to our favorite song (Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson) sixteen times on repeat and then fell asleep.
We wonder if your dollar will come back.
We’ve gone ahead and debited your card on file for one more dollar.
Thanks for understanding, and a have a great rest of your [UNIT OF TIME].
Comments
:'((( I miss him....
Alyssa Wong
2022-04-23 06:01:36 +0000 UTCdo wat you needs to with that $1
Natasha Kennedy
2022-03-22 06:11:54 +0000 UTCThe dollar belongs to nature now
ZigZag
2022-03-21 22:28:24 +0000 UTCI'm sure he'll return someday
Daniel Easley
2022-03-08 19:13:49 +0000 UTCcrying rn
Yeetmundur
2022-03-07 01:48:46 +0000 UTCThis story inspired me to go listen to Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson 16 times in a row; I will never do that again lol
Zen Solipsist
2022-03-06 19:48:36 +0000 UTCStill a better love story than twilight
Matt Muffin
2022-03-01 23:11:53 +0000 UTCWait who has their own "office-cot"?
Dax Cross
2022-03-01 19:28:09 +0000 UTCThat was beautiful...
Melissa Di Varano
2022-03-01 19:27:27 +0000 UTCFun fact, Kelly just ousted her last name and added her middle name instead, officially now Kelly Brianne... while she changes the paperwork.
Alyssa Linzmeyer
2022-03-01 19:16:07 +0000 UTCSome say our $1 is still out there...
Colachan
2022-03-01 19:09:42 +0000 UTCThis reads like modern Lovecraft
Ellie
2022-03-01 19:08:47 +0000 UTCWhat an arduous night
Kyle Major
2022-03-01 19:04:29 +0000 UTCLiterature at its finest
Destiny Miller
2022-03-01 19:04:00 +0000 UTCThat was a beautiful story, brought a tear to my eye
CheetahZoey
2022-03-01 19:03:23 +0000 UTC
