April 2022 - $1 Apology Email
Added 2022-05-01 17:00:08 +0000 UTCHey [YOUR NAME],
So, you remember how we borrowed your dollar? And said we’d get it back to you? Well, about that…. It’s gonna take a little while longer. But once we explain, we’re sure you’ll understand.
Last night, we were in a car accident. It was really horrible. We had the accident and it was everywhere, all over the car, the seats. It will take us months to get this accident out. And wouldn’t you have it, when we had the accident, we were sitting on the dollar you loaned us. So it was completely covered in accident. We realize how unprofessional and frankly disgusting this all was, so we took the dollar to the local dry cleaners.
The dry cleaner (he wasn’t moist at all, incredibly) told us that unfortunately, due to supply-chain constraints, it would take him four years to clean your dollar. So. We’re sorry, but there’s nothing we can do. In the meantime, we’ve gone ahead and debited your card on file for one more dollar.
Thanks and we’re so proud of you and your [ACHIEVED MILESTONE IN PERSONAL LIFE].
Comments
ALL HAIL
JumboJimbo
2022-06-19 21:32:59 +0000 UTCThis feels like something from welcome to nightvale
Cpt.MeowStache
2022-05-04 14:27:34 +0000 UTCI'm sad about my dollar, but glad you guys seem to be okay. That must've been a lot of accident.
Alyssa Wong
2022-05-03 00:45:22 +0000 UTCCompleted
Matty
2022-05-02 11:35:31 +0000 UTCI appreciate your acknowledgement of my ACHIEVED MILESTONE
Matty
2022-05-02 11:34:51 +0000 UTCFour years!? I know a guy who could clean my dollar in THREE. This is an outrage!!!
Mattari
2022-05-01 22:21:11 +0000 UTCDid you guys shid on my dollar?
Melissa Di Varano
2022-05-01 20:48:14 +0000 UTCThis is brilliant 😂
CheetahZoey
2022-05-01 20:34:48 +0000 UTCGoof’d**
Jheyda1
2022-05-01 20:14:54 +0000 UTCYou have earned yourself another month of my patronage.
Sadib Khan
2022-05-01 19:59:37 +0000 UTCOh man, I totally didn't just remember that dollar I loaned you last month! And I'm definitely super upset about it. But I DO appreciate your congratulations about my new job at the chocolate factory doing chocolate science with chocolate, so I suppose I'll let it slide for now.
SKS
2022-05-01 19:45:33 +0000 UTCOh man I remember when I accidentally accident'd a bunch of times and now I have 3 kids
Christopher Day
2022-05-01 19:21:54 +0000 UTCI'm just glad you guys keep the other 4 of my dollars for a video.
Richard Garcia
2022-05-01 18:07:38 +0000 UTCCan Arin or Dan answer one or two comments instead of these stories about losing my dollar?
Octo
2022-05-01 17:47:57 +0000 UTCIt's ok guys when you gotta go you gotta go 😔
Gina Furst
2022-05-01 17:17:52 +0000 UTCJeez louise we got funny guys on here xD
Adventureruler
2022-05-01 17:17:40 +0000 UTCThis happened to my buddy Arin
Tim Brown
2022-05-01 17:09:44 +0000 UTC
