Daily Free-Write August 19, 2020

"Hmm, his diaper isn't very wet. Are you sure he's getting enough to drink?"

I crossed my arms and huffed, causing the paper on the exam table to crinkle. The doctor and my husband were talking about me as if I wasn't there. It wasn't fair that I had to be treated like a baby and wear diapers just because of how I looked. 

"I'm trying, but getting him to drink is tough. I gave him a sippy cup of juice in the morning, but he hasn't touched his bottle all day."

"Doesn't like the bottle, eh? It's a common problem with regressees. Give him a regular cup or water bottle for now, and feed him a bottle of warm milk at bedtime til he gets used to it. The most important thing is to make sure he gets enough liquids - he should be wetting through four or more diapers every day." 

"I don't wanna wet my diapers!" I said, pulling my grumpiest face.

"Well, you have to, little man," came my husband's reply. "At least until we figure out how to get you back to normal size."

"Yes, about that. I looked over the results, and I think you'd better take a seat, James." 

My husband and I both blanched at the Doctor's tone and he sat in the nearest chair. 

"Don't tell me it's terminal..." He said. We both knew that regression could be a fatal condition if it progressed too far. 

"No," the Doctor said, "there is no danger of that. He won't get much smaller than this, but based on the tests, it doesn't look like he'll ever be getting big again. I'm afraid his condition is permanent." 

My husband looked visibly relieved. I, on the other hand was incensed.

"What do you mean it's permanent? How do you know that? Huh? I can't live like this for the rest of my life! I'm not a baby! Run the test again. Run it again!!"

"Jacob Ronald Cooper." Said my husband in a strong voice that shut me up. "You will not yell at the doctor! I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but this is not how we conduct ourselves in public, young man."

"But I-" 

"Don't make me get the pacifier." 

I shut my mouth, not wanting the humiliation of being pacified in public. 

"That's good news doctor, it really is. As long as our little Jakey is safe and sound, that's all that matters. And it's not all bad having him like this," Daddy added, conspiratorially.

"Oh dear. looks like someone has sprung a leak," said the doctor, and I felt the front of my diaper getting warmer.

"Yes, he's lost quite a bit of control. That's been a point of contention with him, but he just can't be trusted to know when he has to go anymore."

"He'll get used to it," said the Doctor. "Why don't I give him a change before you head out?"

I couldn't believe how far I'd fallen. I began to wail loudly, and sure enough, James was on it with the pacifier. My wails soon became whimpers as I found myself sucking on the soft teat. 

I was still seething as he carried me out of the office and strapped me into the car seat. He sat behind the wheel and turned to look at me. 

"It's okay, little one. I know that isn't what you wanted to hear but we'll get through this, you'll see. From now on I want you to call my Daddy. I know you still think of me as your husband, but now that your status is permanent all that will have to change. The Doctor's office has already contacted the Department of Regressed Citizens and you are going to become my dependent."

I knew all that. We had learned all about it in school. But what he said next really shocked me.

"And there's something else. I-" He paused to collect himself. "I've been seeing someone. That's right, ever since you became little, I haven't felt the same as I did before. I love you, honey, but you know I need a man in my life to take care of me. Well, I found one. His name is Jerry, and you'll meet him soon enough. He's going to love you, and I know you'll love him too, if you just give him a chance."

I was no longer paying attention. I was too busy bawling my eyes out. How could he do this to me? To us? But even then I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew he would have to move on eventually, it was just upsetting how soon it had happened. 

"Sweetie," He said, his voice choking up. "You'll always be baby boy. And I promise we will make your second childhood a happy one." 

And even though I refused to acknowledge it then, I knew he meant it.