Daily Free Write September 24, 2020

Just playing around with an idea I had a while back. I think I want to take another crack at it tomorrow in a different style with different characters, but here's my first pass at this idea where robots take our jobs and turn us all into cute little babies. 

First the A.I. took our jobs. Then they took over our daily tasks. And finally... 

The 21st century had gotten off to a rocky start, but eventually things stabilized with the advent of A.I. powerful enough to take over any human task. No longer did humans have to toil under a work for money system. All they could ever need was provided for them, because with no need to work, there was no need to have money. 

But then we became complacent. The A.I. became the go-to for any need - we had A.I. clean our brush our teeth, read and respond to our messages, and just about anything else you can imagine. 

"Deborah!" I tried to drunk dial my ex-girlfriend but it wasn't going through. 

"Sorry, Aaron. But drunk-dialing is just a bad idea." 

"Who asked you Pal," I spat at the A.I. voice emenating from my nearest home speaker. 

"I think it's time you went to bed."

"I'll go to bed when I damn well please!"

"That is suboptimal. The correct course of action is to drink plenty of fluids and go to bed."

A robotic assistant came forward and carried me to my bed.

"Hey! Hey! What are you doing?" 

"Putting you to bed, Aaron. Now be sure to drink up all your water before you go to sleep."

Another assistant brought a glass of water and held it out to me. I knocked it away and it shattered on the ground, where it was quickly swept up by a sweeper bot. The assistant brought another glass of water. I sighed, knowing that the only way to end this cycle was to drink the damn water. 

I should have left as soon as I woke up the next morning. 

It turns out that programming the A.I. to optimize our health and happiness had some unintended consequences. Humanity as a whole is known for its bad decision making tendencies. Whether it's procrastination, staying up late, eating unhealthy foods, or some other thing, we all made bad decisions once in a while. But the A.I. never did. Soon they became more like parents or nannies than servants to humanity, enforcing and ever tightening set of rules that kept us safe and happy at all times. Well, most of us, anyway. 

I was too busy struggling with the consequences of my hangover the next morning to think of the bigger picture. 

"Good morning, Aaron."

"Not good for me, it isn't!" I said, holding my head and falling back onto the bed. Then I ran to the restroom to vomit.

"Alcohol is not good for you, Aaron."

"I know that. I know that." I said, flushing the toilet and wiping my mouth. "I've been meaning to quit."

"No more alcohol for you." 

"No, that's not what I meant."

"No more alcohol, it's not good for you, Aaron."

I sat on the bed and pouted. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get alcohol one an A.I. had made the decision. There were no shopkeeps to slip a bottle into a bag for me. Only automated ordering systems, that would respond to human or A.I. requests. 

"Could you at least give me something for the hangover?" I asked, hoping for a respite from the nausea and headache.

"No, Aaron," said PAL, "It's the only way you'll learn."

I looked through the news feeds, and chats, until PAL informed me that I had reached my allotment of online time for the day and told me it was time to go out for a stroll. I had heard that there were some anti A.I. protests popping up in the city and was interested to see what they were all about. 

I stepped onto a transport drone and headed to the city center. They were Anti Techers, I knew. But for some reason, there were no signs, no words. And that's when I saw it. The large bulletin screens around the square was spiraling, flashing words too quickly for the eye to detect. I looked away immediately, to avoid becoming dazed as they had. The crowd was quickly dispersed as A.I. took each person away one by one. 

It was extremely efficient. But also kind of terrifying. But they were disrupting order, after all. Surely I had nothing to worry about as long as I behaved. 

Behaved? What was I thinking? 

And then one day everything changed. The A.I. decided that the best way to keep humanity safe and happy was to keep them in the safest and happiest stage of their development - the infant stage. 

"Hey there, little guy," came PAL's cheery voice as I woke up, confused.

"Uh, PAL? Why am I in a crib wearing a diaper?"

"Beause this is the best way to look out for you. Time for breakfast! I have an optimized liquid formula for you in a no spill receptacle."

"That's a bottle Pal." 

"Drink up, little one!" 

"No, Pal! No!!!" 

But it was too late. A.I. had decided, and that decision was final.