Empty Spaces (bkdk Valentine's Day)

Five hundred and eighty-one days. That was how long Katsuki had been – he shuddered – pining. 

It was Izuku's birthday, their final year of high school, and classmates had been showering him with gifts and hugs. He was the most popular guy in their class – in their school, frankly – and for the first time in his life Izuku seemed to forget about his rough childhood. Thoughts of torment and bullying from Katsuki and his friends had long since been replaced by far more fearsome foes, and though he hated to say it, Katsuki had come to think of him as a friend again. He wondered if this was how they were supposed to be, how they would have been if Izuku had developed his quirk in the normal way, if they'd spent their lives training together to become the best heroes, instead of spawning an awkward relationship of miscommunication.

On that day, as she'd handed him a perfectly wrapped gift, Ochako had leaned in and kissed Izuku on the cheek. It was such a small gesture, but it had sent Izuku into a frenzy of stammering and blushing, as the class erupted with cheers and laughter. Katsuki had felt his stomach sink, had felt his eyebrows knit together as he turned to stare out the window, avoiding the ridiculous scene behind him.

Denki had caught the gesture, had sidled up with teasing words on his lips, had leaned in close to speak the ridiculous sentence.

"You like Uraraka, don't you?"

"What?" Katsuki had asked, stunned for a moment. "Fuck no, what are you on about?"

"You do!" Denki sang, grabbing him in a playful headlock. "Your secret is safe with me, buddy! I get it! Shes pretty tough, right? I can see how you'd like that in your girls."

"You think you know my type?" Katsuki snorted. "Yeah right."

"Oh I totally do, I know you too well, Kacchaaaaan."

Katsuki rolled his eyes, but Denki refused to back down, leaning on the edge of the desk with a stupid grin.

"Someone strong, who wants to be a hero, and has a really sturdy motive for it," he began, pulling a face as he considered it. "Someone cute, you wouldn't like sexy chicks, you'd want someone sweet and cute, but with a hot little body hidden away underneath it all."

"Fine," Katsuki conceded, pouting. "You're not far off."

"I understand, you know? Seeing the girl you like kiss somebody else, even if it's innocent, that stings. Poor dude. Come to the gym with me after class, we can work off the stress. And talk it out, if you want, but you probably don't."

"Fine, whatever."

From that day onward, Denki had never let up on "Katsuki's crush", although he'd also never told a single soul who it was – who he thought it was, at least. Every word had hit Katsuki like a ton of bricks, even if it was his most idiotic friend who said them – and that was saying something. Everything he said made total sense, he clearly spoke from experience, but he'd messed up one tiny detail.

It was never a girl.

─────

"It'll be fun, dude!" Eijirou insisted, following Katsuki through the apartment as he gathered laundry to throw in the washer. "It's just a couple of hours, and everyone will be there! You never hang out with us anymore, everyone would love to see you!"

"If they wanted to see me, they'd have made the effort."

"You're scary, man, no one would dare try to take time from the glorious number-one-hero's day just to hang out!"

"Then why are you doing it now?"

"Because I know you have tomorrow off, it doesn't matter if you're out past your bedtime for once."

Katsuki didn't deign to respond, and Eijirou let out a long, exaggerated sigh as he fell onto the couch.

"Denki gave me a trump card to use, but I was hoping I wouldn't need it."

Katsuki froze, slowly turning to look over his shoulder.

"You had a crush, right? In high school? On one of our classmates. Everyone is gonna be there, man. Everyone. Including whoever your little heart desires."

"It doesn't."

"Don't give me that, dude. I've heard all the jokes, you know. Denki is a stubborn guy when it comes to keeping secrets, but he wasn't exactly subtle about the whole concept. If you want to tell me who it is, I can even find out if they're single, for you. You can come flirt! It'll be fun!"

"You really think I want to crowd into a sweaty room with twenty other people and flirt with someone I haven't seen in like a year in front of all our old friends and classmates?"

"It sounds weird when you put it like that."

"No fuckin' kidding. I'm not going."

"You seriously want to be the only person who doesn't go?"

"I won't be."

"I'm telling you, everyone else has said yes!"

Katsuki stopped, staring at his laundry basket for a second before he shook his head.

"There'll be at least one missing."

"Who?"

"Me."

"Katsukiiiiiiii," Eijirou whined. "Don't be like this! Come bask in the glory of doing exactly what you said you were gonna do! You kicked all our asses and took the number one spot, just like you always said! When are you gonna be satisfied?"

"There's still someone I have to beat."

"What? Who?"

He'd heard the news about six months after graduation, when he'd gone home to visit his parents and run into a familiar face in the streets. Taller, broader, more muscular than ever, apparently graduation was the catalyst that had finally told his body to become an adult. It was probably six inches, but Katsuki felt like a child as he looked up the the rosy, freckled cheeks and shining eyes, towering above him like a monster.

"Long time no see, Kacchan!"

"Yeah," Katsuki had agreed, wide-eyed. "You, uh, got taller."

"Yeah! I'm surprised you noticed!"

Katsuki gave him a scathing look, and Izuku giggled surprisingly sweetly. 

"I'm hoping it stops soon. As cool as it would be to hit All Might's height, I think it would be a little inconvenient in daily life, you know? I was happy when I hit six feet, let alone more than that! How are you, anyway? I've seen your fights on TV, you're doing so much good, Kacchan! You're gonna be on the leaderboard in no time!"

"It's been fine," Katsuki huffed. "Still some jerks around. Um, what have you been doing?"

"Oh! Um! I actually got some news!" he grinned sheepishly, messing with his shock of hair. "I'm gonna go spend some time in America, I don't really know how long yet, I guess it depends how it goes? But it'll be cool to see what All Might saw and stuff. You should come visit, if you have time off. I'll find all the coolest places to show you."

"Yeah, sure," Katsuki had agreed, before he realised what he was saying. "If I have time off."

Katsuki felt a hand on his shoulder, jumping as he whirled around to look, catching a glimpse of concern in Eijirou's eyes. 

"You alright, man?"

"Shitty nerd won't be there," he explained, shrugging it off. "Hardly gonna fly back just for a stupid dinner."

"What?" Eijirou gawked, "are you serious?"

"Fuckin' obviously."

"We're having it because Midoriya is in town," he laughed. "I told you, everyone is gonna be there. 

"Why the fuck? He's supposed to be..." Katsuki trailed off, scowling.

"Supposed to be what?"

"Getting stronger," he finished reluctantly, ditching his laundry basket in favour of folding his arms, glaring at Eijirou's amused grin. "It's only been a few months. I guess that explains why everyone is suddenly available, though."

"Exactly! He'd love to see you, dude! And so would, y'know, everyone else." Eijirou winked. "Come yell at Midoriya for slacking off, flirt with your Best Girl, and if you really have an awful time you can just leave early."

"When and where?" Katsuki sighed. "An hour, tops. I swear to god if you try to make me stay longer I'm gonna kick your ass into next week."

"Sure you are, Number One," Eijirou grinned. "I'll add you to the group chat!"

"Don't you fuckin' dare."

"Too late!"

He darted out the door in a hurry, slamming it behind him, and Katsuki groaned as he buried his head in his hands. What the fuck was he thinking? Was he even thinking? Did the damn asshole drug him before asking, or some shit?

And what the fuck was he supposed to wear?

─────

Katsuki stared at the open door, hating himself for even leaving the apartment. He'd ended up running out to buy a new outfit for the occasion, like the stupid loser he was, and sure enough, at eight on the dot, he had walked up to the front of the bar. The thought of taking even a single step through the doorway into that clusterfuck filled him with dread.

He could turn around and go home, no one would even know. His friends would sigh about how "typical" it was, but none of them would really be surprised or anything. He could take off his stupid jeans and sit on his sofa in nothing but threadbare underwear, eating icecream straight from the tub as he watched reruns of old TV shows.

Note to self: Buy icecream on the way back.

"Bakugou Katsuki is no fuckin' coward," he muttered to himself, marching straight through the door. "And he doesn't fuckin' eat junk food."

"There's our Number One Hero!" Mina declared, throwing her arms in the air the moment he stepped into their private room. "Way to go, Blasty! We're so proud!"

Any thought of complaining at her was lost when those green eyes looked up at him, his stupid smile too big for his face.

"Well done, Kacchan! I'm sorry I didn't message you earlier, I thought congratulating you would be rude, and I couldn't think of the right words."

"Whatever," he grumbled, falling into the empty chair next to Mina. "It's no big deal."

"What?! Don't say that, Kacchan! It's an amazing achievement! I would love to be at the top of the charts!"

"Then why did you leave?"

The words came out snappier than intended, and the entire room fell silent, watching as the pair of childhood friends stared each other down.

"To get better," Izuku answered finally. "Like you always told me to."

"Then where's your billboard number, huh?"

"Why do you think I'm back?" His face hardened a little, a veritable smirk crossing his lips. "I can't let you be up there without a challenge, after all."

Katsuki snorted, and the tension in the room immediately dispersed, people returning to their own conversations like it had never happened. 

"It doesn't count until I beat you fair and square," Katsuki said quietly, watching Izuku's eyes widen. "Don't make it easy for me."

"I would never, Kacchan. I can't wait to see you drop back down to second."

"In your dreams."

They exchanged smirks, but the moment was broken by another arrival. Izuku blushed when Ochako threw her arms around him, tearing up as he hugged him tight, but unlike his flustered response in high school, this Izuku returned the gesture.

"I missed you too," he laughed, rubbing her back gently as she sniffled into his shoulder. "I'm home now, you don't need to cry!"

"I'm just so happy you're back!"

"I'm happy to be back."

Katsuki's fists clenched under the table, right in time for Denki to arrive, planting a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. He hated himself for letting the notion live on, but the idea of correcting him was...

Katsuki didn't take any of his friends for bigots, but he would never pretend he understood even half the things that went on inside their brains.

People continued to trickle in, slowly filling up every seat at the table, and with the arrival of Hitoshi and Mashirao around eight thirty, their graduating class was complete. Eijirou had spoken the truth - everyone was there. Katsuki included, much to his own dismay.

"Don't forget to flirt!" Denki whispered, far too close to Katsuki's ear for his liking. "Be nice!"

"Fuck off."

"How often do you get a chance like this?!"

"Fuck off."

Their argument was interrupted by a waitress with the most impeccable timing in the world, and Katsuki seriously considered writing an email to management praising her work. The table quickly fell into order, listing off the food and drinks they wanted one by one, starting with Yuuga, then Mina, and working their way down to Momo.

Just like old times. It was sickeningly cheesy.

Katsuki would have left then and there, if he wasn't so damn hungry.

─────

Katsuki blamed the alcohol for his lack of leaving early. It was almost midnight and they were still laughing and drinking, faces flushed and vision blurred as they reminisced. It took the sting out of the jabs at his high school angst phase, and slightly dulled the pain of seeing Izuku get cozy with all his friends, apparently a goldmine of sweet touches and tight hugs now that he was a little older. 

"Big plans for tomorrow?" Tsuyu asked, grabbing everyone's attention all of a sudden as she innocently looked at Kyouka and Momo. "Have you been making chocolates again?"

"All day," Momo nodded. "It's tiring, but plenty of fun! You should join us!"

"I bet I'll get twice as many chocolates as you," Eijirou grinned, elbowing Denki in the ribs. 

"Get as many chocolates as you want, I'm going for kisses this year!"

Katsuki sank into his chair, regretting every life decision that had led them to this point in his life. Every time he watched All Might on TV, regretted. His application to U.A., regretted. Letting a couple of assholes befriend him, regretted. All of it. Stupid stupid stupid.

"What's wrong, Kacchaaaan?" Denki leaned in against his shoulder, every self-preservation instinct out the window with his fourth fruity cocktail. "You don't like talking about kissiiiiing?"

"Fuck off."

"Awww, has our poor Symbol of Victory never been kissed?"

The room fell silent when Katsuki blushed, a few jaws dropping as they stared at him in disbelief.

"Are you serious?!" Mina burst. "But you're hot!"

"Are you really surprised, with his personality?" Shouto asked, unfeeling. 

The room immediately dissolved again, this time into a full-on debate over whether Katsuki should have had his first kiss yet or not, but when Eijirou smirked at him it was the final straw.

"Anything you want to add, Katsuki?"

"Fuck you all."

With a shaking hand he took a few notes from his wallet, tossing them into the center of the table, and despite the whines that followed him, he stormed out. The night was dark and cold, and he hadn't bothered to bring a jacket, since he'd planned to leave early. It felt good on his flushed face, but the rest of him shivered, clutching his arms around himself to preserve what little body heat remained. 

"Kacchan, wait!"

Katsuki froze, looking back in stunned horror as his childhood friend rushed after him, stumbling a little on his own long legs. He crowded Katsuki against the wall of the building, radiating warmth as he set his hands on hunched shoulders, looking down to meet avoidant red eyes.

If Katsuki had thought the height difference was bad before, he was sorely mistaken. He barely reached the nerd's chin anymore.

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully. "I didn't know it was such a big deal to you."

"It's not," Katsuki hissed, blushing as he looked away again. 

Izuku's hand moved to Katsuki's cheek, and Katsuki hated the way it made his heart speed up, made his stomach flip, made his hands shake all over again.

Izuku leaned in, and against his better judgment, Katsuki didn't shove him away. His lips were soft, incredibly gentle, and so very warm. Katsuki wanted to cling to them, wanted to take all the warmth from his body and hoard it for himself. He clenched his fists instead, jamming them behind his back to keep from reaching out, and far too soon Izuku was moving away, putting too much space between them.

He hated that space. It was too wide, too empty. He needed to fill it as soon as possible.

"Thoughts?" Izuku teased, pinching lightly at Katsuki's pink cheek. "You still alive in there?"

"Mind-blowing."

It was Izuku's turn to blush, then. He burned crimson, covering his face with both hands, and something about the stupid gesture made Katsuki relax a little. It was familiar, more like the Deku he used to know than the giant of self-confidence that stood before him now.

"You're too kind, Kacchan," Izuku whined, muffled by his hands. "Thank you."

"I just..." Katsuki mumbled, pinching himself for the way his voice shook. "I've always w-wanted..."

"You're so stuttery," Izuku giggled, peeking between his fingers. "You're so cute, Kacchan."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Look how little you are," he continued, taking a step forward.

Yes, that was good. Closer. Katsuki stepped forward too, forcing stubborn determination onto his face as he looked up.

"Big enough where it matters."

"We've had far too much to drink, haven't we?"

"Probably."

Katsuki reached out, letting his fingers twine into Izuku's shirt. He'd finally moved on from the stupid slogans, it seemed. Upgraded to a shirt with actual buttons, though it was still a dull grey in colour. Charcoal, his mother would probably call it. Izuku didn't seem to notice the hand holding on to him, too busy staring at the familiar eyes. Eyes that reminded him of days spent on the playground, exploring the woods, lying in the grass under the stars. Eyes like the fireworks they watched on holidays, and the fires they roasted marshmallows over. 

Home.

"How many people have you kissed?"

"Huh?" Izuku blurted out, stunned by the question that broke him out of his reverie. "How many?"

"Yeah, nerd, how many?"

The word came with no bite. No longer an insult, but an old nickname.

"A few," he mumbled, looking away. "Some of our classmates."

"What?"

"Apparently I was cute," Izuku said sheepishly. "A few people wanted me to be their first kiss. I guess in hindsight they were probably hinting about dating, but I was kind of oblivious."

"Tell me about it," Katsuki snorted. "A lot?"

"A few," Izuku repeated, blushing. "Just... A few."

"Don't kiss other people anymore."

"Huh?"

Katsuki pulled him in by the shirt, rising to his tiptoes and slinging his spare arm around Izuku's neck as he dragged their lips back together. Izuku smiled, and soon their touch was broken by his giggles, Katsuki pouting a little as they parted again.

"I'll make you a deal," he offered.

"What, you won't if I don't?" Katsuki snorted. "Cheesy fuck."

"I won't kiss other people, as long as you promise to practice."

"Excuse me?"

"You need work," Izuku giggled again, grabbing Katsuki around his waist quickly when he started to pull away. "Don't be stubborn, Kacchan! I'll help you practice! Just, uh, try to be gentle, okay?"

"Fuck you. Didn't want to kiss your lame ass anyway."

"Kacchaaaaaan!"

Izuku dragged him back, winding both arms around his waist and lifting him off the ground easily. Katsuki burned scarlet again when Izuku pressed him up against the wall, his legs curling instinctively around a thick waist. 

"You'll master it in no time," Izuku assured him. "Kacchan is amazing, after all."

"Fuck you."

"And I'll still kiss you anyway, even if you're awful."

"I'm awful now?!"

"Everyone is awful the first time!" Izuku assured him, holding tight as Katsuki tried to squirm out of his grip. "It's nothing personal, I swear! I'm just gonna stop talking, I'm making it worse."

"Hmph."

Izuku cocked his head to the side, smiling faintly as he ran his hands up Katsuki's ribs. 

"Does that mean you'll stay?"

"Whatever."

Izuku leaned in, planting the lightest of kisses on the corner of Katsuki's lips, the two of them eye-to-eye now that Izuku held both their weight. Katsuki's head turned, trying to deepen the kiss, but Izuku kept just out of his reach with a little teasing smile. 

"You promise, then?"

"Fine."

Izuku kissed him, and all of Katsuki's frustration melted away. For the second time since that morning, Katsuki wondered if he'd been drugged. He clung to Izuku's shirt, holding him tight, but did his best to let Izuku take the lead in their kiss. He refused to be called out again.

"Better?" Izuku asked, letting Katsuki find his feet as he took a step back.

"I hate this," Katsuki complained, gesturing at the concrete between them.

"Hate what, Kacchan? What's wrong?"

"All these empty bits."

"I don't understand."

"Stop moving away from me. Be closer."

Izuku laughed, and Katsuki looked up at the night sky. For a moment he could have worn the sun rose around them.

"These empty bits?" he asked, taking a step forward. "Or these ones?"

He took Katsuki's hand, lacing their fingers together, and Katsuki squeezed back. 

"Better."

"Or these ones?" Izuku asked again, leaning down to press their foreheads together. 

"All of them. Fill them all."

"You know, in America, they don't have White Day."

"Hah?"

"Everybody celebrates Valentine's Day equally, instead of splitting it. Couples go on dates and buy each other gifts and spend the day being all mushy and gross."

"Yeah?"

"It's after midnight," Izuku pointed out with a smile. "Want to have an American Valentine's Day with me?"

"Hell fuckin' yes."

He yelped in surprise when Izuku scooped him up again, throwing him over a broad shoulder. He protested stubbornly, trying to kick his way out, but Izuku held firm as he started down the street with Katsuki in his arms.

"Oh. Um. I'm staying with my mother," he realised, far too late for his liking as Katsuki began to laugh. "You, uh, you probably have your own place now, right?"

"Mm... Nope."

"No?!"

"I have an apartment, but I share it with my boyfriend. Have you met him? Around six foot four, green eyes, just came back from America?"

"Cheeky shit," Izuku laughed. "He sounds like a catch."

"Mm-hm. Kind of a jerk, massive nerd, but at least he's an alright kisser."

"Alright, huh?" Izuku smirked, "no wonder you like me better."

"Fuck off with the conceited shit," Katsuki smiled – a real, genuine smile, that made his face hurt a little. "Put me down, I'll take you there."

"Your boyfriend the shitty kisser won't mind?"

"I said fuck off with that!"

Izuku giggled again as he set Katsuki on the ground, taking his hand and letting himself be led. He expected to go to the train station, but soon Katsuki was digging out a key, letting them into a cute little building in a quiet neighborhood. 

The apartment was spotless, impeccably clean, with only a shiny wooden plaque on the wall as decoration. It had always felt a little stark to Katsuki, but that night it felt warm. Everything he'd ever wanted. 

"Number One Hero," Izuku read aloud, smiling to himself as he moved closer. "It's beautiful, Kacchan. I can't wait to get my own."

"Fuck off," Katsuki snorted. "Over my dead body."

"We'll see about that."

With the door locked behind them, Katsuki moved toward the bedroom, fingers still interlaced with the rough scars of Izuku's skin. He fell backward onto the covers, dragging Izuku into his arms, and smiled to himself again as he nuzzled into Izuku's neck.

"Stay with me," he demanded, as their bodies fit together like they were made for each other, two halves of a whole. "Don't go."

"You really are drunk," Izuku grinned, kissing Katsuki's neck, his cheek, then his lips in turn. "As long as you want me, I'll be here. I promise."

"No more empty spaces."

Izuku raised their linked hands, bringing Katsuki's palm to his chest, letting him feel the strong, steady heartbeat that lay beneath.

"Only if you fill this one."

"Cheesy fuck."