The Deku-Shaped Hole - Chapter 1

All Katsuki knew, was that when they graduated high school, he was the only one who didn't cry. His friends, classmates, the other students in their year, their teachers, even Aizawa, had all teared up a little as they said their final farewells. But Katsuki had just stood there, dry-eyed, staring blankly at the piece of paper in his hands. He had officially completed his U.A. Education. The best hero school in the country, plagued by villain attacks and kidnappings, a constant war of rivalries as they each tried to one-up each other's quirks, and here he was with the piece of paper that said he was done. He could officially go and be a pro-hero.

He should have been happy, but instead he just felt lost. He was woefully unprepared for this.

But still, he marched out with his head held high, ignoring the tears his parents shed as they hugged him and snapped terrible photos to hang on the wall with his certificate. 

It was officially over.

He'd spent all of two weeks back at his parents' house, packing up his things while he searched for an apartment. Some of his classmates were already rooming together, too codependent to survive without the dorms anymore, but he had sneered at anyone who even began to extend an offer. He was going to be on his own for the first time in his life, and he was going to love it.

He didn't love it.

Sure, the peace and quiet was nice, but it was also so empty. He was used to having people to yell at when things went wrong, people to cook for when he felt like it, people to study with, or to play games with when he needed some downtime.

Maybe his friends had been ri- No, fuck that. His shitty friends were never right. He just needed some time to adjust, that was all. Once he got stuck into work he'd be grateful for the silence, would be glad to just fall straight into bed without dealing with shitty extras begging him for help or giving him shit for being an "old man". So what if he liked to be asleep before nine? He was the only one in their graduating class to simultaneously boast three titles: "never came to class hungover", "never pulled an all-nighter", and "never failed a test".

Well, unless the provisional license exam counted, but he maintained that the whole thing was bullshit and the judges were just out to get him. Most of his classmates had actually agreed with him on that one, which he considered another point of pride, as sad as he knew that was.

Katsuki didn't regret not crying at the ceremony; he tried to regret as few things as possible in his life, plus he wasn't a pussy bitch. He didn't regret rejecting his friends' offers to rent a place together, either. He knew he'd have gone insane with them around. What he did regret, were the things with a much more lasting impact. The way he'd treated his parents, for one. The way he'd bullied Deku. The way he'd acted at the first sports festival, resulting in his own kidnapping, and severe injuries to some of his classmates. And the way he'd pushed Deku away on their last day of school, when he'd asked Katsuki for a hug.

That one still stung to think about.

He wasn't sure why he'd done it, honestly. It wasn't like he'd never reluctantly conceded a hug with Kaminari and Kirishima over the years, and Ashido never stopped touching him, but something about it being Deku had made him feel awkward.

He hadn't known it might be their last interaction.

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"In other news, Pro-Hero Deku remains in hospital today. Official reports maintain that he is stable, but not taking visitors or interviews at this time. Let's cut to our local correspondants for updates on the incident which sparked this tragedy."

Katsuki changed the radio station in a hurry. He didn't need to hear shitty journalists speculate over what happened to him, he'd already seen and heard the reports a thousand times. Rumours were of no use to a hero.

He glanced at his phone on the passenger seat, at the screen lit up with notifications from their graduating class's group chat. He'd muted the thing the moment it came to exist, but some small part of him now hoped that he would see Deku's stupid face pop up, covered in bandages but beaming all the same, apologising for making them worry. 

It was impossible, of course. He'd seen the security footage. If nothing else, there was no way Deku's phone had survived that impact. 

He swiped the notification away and hit the call button instead, letting it connect to his speaker system as he stared out the windscreen at traffic.

"It's about time you called, little brat!"

"I'm coming to stay for a bit," he told her flatly, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh. "Traffic is bad though, so I'll be there late."

"And you couldn't give us a little warning?! What if I had plans?!"

"You can do whatever the hell you want, I just need a bed to sleep in." He paused, sighing again as he considered his words carefully. "They need someone to cover Deku's zone while he's out of commission."

Mitsuki fell silent, words halting on her lips, and Katsuki nodded even though she couldn't see him.

"Have you talked to his mother?" he asked, flicking his indicator on and changing lanes, managing to get two more cars ahead before he stopped again. "She must be a mess."

"She is," Mitsuki agreed. "I've been visiting her a lot."

"Do you think she would mind if I dropped by to check on her?"

"I'm sure she would love to see you, Katsuki. That's surprisingly sweet of you."

"Me and the nerd have a deal," he shrugged. "He would check on you if something happened to me, too."

"I'm... Flattered," Mitsuki said in disbelief. "That's actually really nice."

"Yeah, well, we have to keep our own neighborhood safe, right? What's the point being a hero if our own families and neighbours get hurt?"

"You've really grown up, Katsuki," she said softly. "I'm excited to see you. I'll save you dinner."

"I can just buy something on my way in."

"Don't be ridiculous, you need to eat healthy, hearty food if you're going to protect everyone. I'll make you a nice, hot meal."

"Both kinds of hot?" he requested. "It's been a while since I had that good spice mix you use."

"That goes without saying," Mitsuki laughed. "Alright, you drive safe, and I'll see you later tonight."

"Yeah. See you later."

"Take care."

"You too."

With a little click, the call disconnected, and Katsuki's sound system returned to playing dull talkback radio. Normally when he drove, he would have his favourite music blaring as loud as his speakers could handle, but today had felt like a more sober occasion, and he'd instead opted for news reports and general chatter.

Maybe he was missing some human interaction after all, if he was resorting to radio personalities for company.

The chat pinged again, and he glanced over, scowling when he saw Kaminari's name pop up. Every time, that damn noise made him hopeful, and every time, his jerk-ass friends let him down. They should all just quit using the chat until Deku was better. Didn't they know how many hours it would take him to catch up? The nerd would backread everything. How inconsiderate.

He briefly considered yelling at them for it, but that would only serve to remind them he was still in the chat at all. As far as any of them knew, he could have left years ago. No one would ever know he kept it just in case.

It was dark by the time Katsuki pulled into the driveway, parking alongside his parents' little car and yawning as he crawled out. His legs needed a damn good stretch, after being stuck in traffic for so long. 

He grunted when the weight hit him, suppressing his instinct to lash out, recognising the shock of blonde hair that hit him in the chest.

"'Bout time, brat," she grumbled, with no bite behind the words at all. "Come get some food, you're too skinny."

"I'm not skinny," he grunted, shoving her lightly but letting her hug him all the same. "The trip was great, thanks Mom, yes I've been doing well, and work is still good, thanks for asking."

"I was gonna let you sit down first, asshole. Come on you little shit, your dinner is getting cold."

He pulled his backpack from the boot of the car and followed her inside, smiling faintly when she immediately started fussing over him. No matter what her general personality, she was still a mother, after all.

"When did you last get your hair cut?" she demanded, ruffling his spikes as he picked up his chopsticks. "It looked good before, when it was all shorn off. You've gotten fluffy again."

"Welcome home Katsuki, it's good to see you," he said stubbornly, shooting her a weak glare. "I hope you enjoy the food, I made it just for you."

"You'd yell at me if I said any of that shit, and we both know it."

He cracked a smile, and soon Mitsuki did the same, returning to the kitchen to retrieve tea for them both. She sat down opposite him, sipping from her mug as he scoffed down spicy curry, humming his approval.

"Do you know what happened?" she asked finally, her voice oddly quiet.

"I saw the security camera recordings," he acknowledged, grimacing. "It didn't get everything, but it got enough. How about you?"

"Only what they told Inko. I think they downplayed it a lot for her sake."

"Probably," he agreed, nodding faintly. "I'll talk to her. If she wants to know more, I'll tell her more."

"You're a good boy," Mitsuki praised, grinning when Katsuki rolled his eyes. "See? You hate it when I say anything cheesy."

"Where's the old man, anyway?"

"In the shower, he'll be down soon. We ate earlier."

"Figured."

He finished scoffing his food down, then sighed contentedly as he leaned back in his seat, glancing around himself. The house remained unchanged, still the same as when he was a toddler, give or take a few photographs here and there. It was comforting, in a way. He could always come back and find everything just where he'd left it. 

"Katsuki, you made it!"

He looked up to see his father on the staircase, a little older and grayer than when they last met, but still he wore the same little smile, so strangely delighted to see his son again.

"Missed you too," he answered with a smirk. "Been doing okay around here without me?"

"Always better when you're back."

"See, old hag? That's how you're supposed to act when your only son comes to visit."

"Fine, next time I'll be the mushiest fuckin' wreck of emotions you've ever met, then we'll see how you like it."

"At least I'll know you care," he snorted, smirking all the same. "Mind if I borrow the laundry machine? Didn't get a chance to do my costume before I left."

"I'll take it, you go have a bath and get settled in."

"You sure? It's been a while."

"I remember how to wash your costume, brat," she frowned, taking the pile of gear the moment he retrieved it from his bag. "It'll be the cleanest you've seen it in years."

"Sounds good. Thanks."

She paused for a moment, sighing as she reached out to rumple his hair again.

"You really do need a hair cut though."

"Yeah, I know."