The Deku-Shaped Hole - Chapter 2

Katsuki rose with the sun, yawning as he slipped into his running gear and padded down the stairs. It had been a while since he'd run through the old neighbourhood, but he had a feeling everything would remain unchanged, as it always had in the past. Their town had a habit of keeping things the same, no one seemed to feel the need to mix it up. He could probably find the same people in each of the houses as had lived there when he was born, with the exception of the few kids like him who had grown up and moved out.

As he ran through the empty streets, watching the sun come up in the distance, he couldn't help but think of Deku. He found himself jogging along a familiar forest trail, a path he was still not supposed to be on, but he'd never cared for being told what to do by a sign. The log across the water was old and gnarled, a little less sturdy than it used to be, but still he found himself balancing across it, pausing halfway to sit and look out at the horizon.

He wished he could go back to that day.

If he closed his eyes, he could still hear their dumb squeaky voices. Dumb little Deku, asking if he was hurt, and even dumber little Katsuki, snapping at Deku for daring to think he was anything less than invincible.

The nerd had always wanted to help, that never changed. He'd gotten in trouble endlessly for it at school, been threatened with explusion at times, even, but still he'd continued to run in, yelling and swearing as he got himself destroyed to save even a single civilian.

For the first time, Katsuki found himself choked up. He cupped a hand over his mouth to keep in the shuddering gasps, staring wide-eyed at the water below as he tried to get himself under control.

Stupid Deku, always getting himself hurt, never letting anyone help him no matter how much he insists on helping others. No wonder you got hurt, dumbass. What the fuck were you thinking?

He hauled himself back to his feet, hurrying off the end of the log and turning his jog to a sprint. If he ran fast enough, no one would notice the way his breath shuddered. If he ran fast enough, no one would discern the sweat from the stubborn tears. 

If he ran fast enough, maybe he'd stop thinking.

He found himself at the base of a familiar apartment complex, staring at his phone screen as he considered. Any normal person would still be asleep, but with her son in hospital? Inko probably hadn't been sleeping at all, frankly.

He rang the intercom.

It didn't take long for the flustered voice to respond, and for a moment he couldn't find words, even considered just walking off like nothing had happened.

"It's me," he said softly, instead. "Sorry it's so early, I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Katsuki?! Come in!"

A little buzz told him the doors were open for him, and he took a deep breath as he marched forward, holding his head high. He took the stairs up to the right landing, his lips pulling tight when he found Inko waiting for him in the doorway. She looked up with a wobbly smile so much like her son's, her eyes watering a little, and as soon as he came close enough, she threw her arms around Katsuki's waist.

"It's so good to see you," she mumbled. "I've missed you, Katsuki. Come in and tell me all about what you've been doing."

"Yeah, sure," he nodded, placing a hand between her shoulder blades and guiding her back into the apartment. "I'm sorry, it must be so lonely here for you."

Even when everyone else had split off and moved out, Deku had never left his mother. He claimed it was impractical, considering he worked in the area anyway, and that there was no sense in paying for two different apartments when one had always served them perfectly well. What he really meant, though, was that he couldn't leave her. Not any time soon. She'd been alone for too long, while he was in the dorms, and he refused to let it stay that way. He loved her too much to let her be lonely.

"For you as well," she answered, looking up at Katsuki's empty expression. "Mitsuki said you live alone?"

"Yeah. It makes things simpler," he explained. "I work long hours, I'm sure you know. It's nice to come home to a clean, quiet apartment where I can just fall into bed and not be disturbed."

"Izuku is similar," she smiled softly. "We eat breakfast together every morning, but by the time he gets home he's too tired to sit down and have a real dinner, I'm lucky if I can get food in him at all."

"I have containers in my fridge," Katsuki smiled back. "They're labelled by day, I just force myself to eat whatever is labelled for that night."

"Maybe you need to have words with Izuku," Inko laughed faintly. "You could probably make him eat better than I can."

"Yeah, I'll yell at him for you."

He sat down at the table when she gestured, watching her fuss in the kitchen as she made tea for them both, and as he watched, he couldn't help but notice the untouched breakfast food laying on the counter.

"Sorry, did I interrupt your breakfast? Don't mind me, you should eat."

"I haven't had much of an appetite," she explained. "Maybe I'm the one who needs yelling at."

"I can do that," Katsuki shot her a toothy grin. "How do you think the nerd is gonna feel when he comes home any day now and finds out you haven't been taking care of yourself?"

"I know. Have you eaten yet? You've been out running?"

"Yes to the running, so no I haven't eaten."

"Let me fix you something."

"Only if you'll eat with me."

She smiled softly, nodding once as she passed him a mug of tea. It was deep red in colour, and smelled slightly woody. Katsuki almost teared up as he took his first sip.

"Is it still your favourite?" Inko asked. "I wasn't sure, it's been a while."

"Yeah, it is," Katsuki nodded. "Thank you."

The silence between them was comfortable as Inko cooked, taking sips of tea between stirring and mixing, and soon there were two plates on the table covered in hot egg and rice. Katsuki dug in, relishing the home-cooked meal, and Inko watched him fondly for a minute before she took her first bite.

"I don't get much time to cook," Katsuki explained, when he paused for a moment between mouthfuls. "God I would love to eat good hot food like this every morning, I'm usually running on onigiri, or even bread. Don't judge me."

"Any food is better than no food. You're most welcome to join us for breakfast while you're in town, I know your parents aren't much of the breakfast type."

"I wouldn't want to impose."

"It's no bother at all, honestly. I'd love to see you, and I'm sure Izuku would too."

"Have the hospital talked to you much?"

She paused, taking another long sip from her tea, then shook her head. 

"They strongly recommended I don't visit," she said quietly. "They won't stop me, but I didn't really want to ask why they were so adamant."

"That bad, huh?"

"It seems that way."

"Family only, too, I assume."

"Yes," she smiled faintly, "but if you want to go, I'll gladly tell them you're family."

"I'm not sure they'd believe that," Katsuki snorted. "It's a nice thought."

"Do you really want to visit?"

When their eyes met, neither of them spoke, and Katsuki quickly busied himself with another piece of egg and rice. 

"You could go on my behalf, if you like. You can tell me how bad it really is."

"I couldn't."

"Think about it, maybe sleep on it for a while. If you want to see him, I'll find a way. If they asked him, he would never turn you away."

"He's too forgiving."

"I know you had some rough moments in the past, but they're exactly that, Katsuki. They're in the past. Izuku forgave you a long time ago for anything you may have done wrong, can you not forgive him for the same?"

"He never did anything wrong, I was just... I was an asshole. I did far more to hurt him than he ever would have told you."

"I know there was more going on than I understand, but I also know he forgives you all the same."

"How could he possibly? Every scratch or bruise he came home from school with was me. Every time he told you he tripped over or banged into a desk or whatever other stupid excuses he made, they were me. And I hate myself for all of it, how could I ever do such awful things to a kid who just wanted to be by my side?"

"Children make mistakes. Sometimes awful ones, but they're still just mistakes."

"I hurt him. So many times. I told him..." Katsuki's breath shuddered, and he wiped stubborn tears on his sleeve. "I told him to jump, once. Off the school roof. I didn't mean it even as I said it, but I still think sometimes, what if he had done it? How could I possibly have been so cruel to a kid who was my best friend just a few years before?!"

"Because you were a kid," Inko smiled softly. "He was so happy, you know, when you started becoming friends again. Every weekend, it was 'Kacchan said this' or 'Kacchan did this' and slowly it became 'me and Kacchan', and he was so happy every time he said it. You mean the world to him."

Katsuki clutched at his chest, shaking a little as he strained to control himself, and Inko smiled sympathetically.

"I'll cook breakfast tomorrow," he choked out, sniffing stubbornly. "For you and me."

"That sounds wonderful, Katsuki."

─────

With his costume freshly washed and dried - shining clean, much to his mother's pride - Katsuki made the walk to Deku's office. Officially speaking the entire agency belonged to him, though he had made the smart decision to hire people more qualified than himself to lead. He may be footing the bills, but his managers were the ones who were in charge.

"You must be Mister Bakugou," one of them spoke, in a strangely formal tone. "It's nice to meet you. Come on through, we'll talk details."

And so, surrounded by hushed whispers, Katsuki found himself entering an office at the back of the building, away from the ruckus of sidekicks doing their jobs. All the furniture was polished wood, probably expensive as all hell, but Katsuki couldn't help but notice that the cushions were a familiar shade of green. It made his chest ache all over again, and he pulled one into his lap to squeeze in his fists.

"I apologise on behalf of the whole company for causing you such an inconvenience," the woman began, her name already long gone from Katsuki's mind. "We were under very strict instructions that if anything should happen to Mister Midoriya, you would be our first point of call."

"Yeah, we have kind of a deal," he mumbled, fidgetting with the cushion. "You just want me to walk his zone, or is there more?"

"Well, the main thing is he left a letter for you. I assure you he is the only one who has laid eyes on it thus far."

She handed over a sealed envelope, and Katsuki shuddered at the thought of what might be inside.

"It's probably his will," Katsuki said bluntly. "So you should probably tell me if that's something we're likely to need."

"I'm hesitant to say likely, but it's not out of the realm of possibility."

"I need to see him, then."

"That is not advisable."

"I didn't ask if it was advisable, I said make it happen. His mother is fine with it, she already offered to call and tell them I would be going on her behalf."

"If you wish to see him, it can be arranged, however I do highly recommend that-"

"Stop there. I'm not listening to any of that second bit. Just make it happen."

"As you wish, Sir."

Katsuki opened the letter, not even touching the words before he noticed the piece of tape stuck to the bottom, a few strands of dark green hair caught beneath. It took him a moment to understand, to scan across to the paragraph nearby, a little arrow pointing between the two. 

If things look bleak, I'll be thinking of you and willing it. Just swallow this and hope I'm conscious enough to make it happen.

"Not gonna happen," he grumbled. "No fuckin' way."

"Would you like a minute, Mister Bakugou?"

"No, I'm fine. Continue."

"Most of Mister Midoriya's work has been split between the other employees, they are more than capable of handling it, so if you don't wish to walk his patrol zone we are happy to make arrangements for others to handle it."

Katsuki glanced back down at the letter again, the solid lettering making his heart thump a little harder. He'd always hated seeing that writing, it was usually some dumb analysis notebook when Katsuki saw it, and those notes had always made him inexplicably mad. This time, though, it seemed to ease the ache in his chest, just a little.

"I need to talk to someone," he answered finally. "Get them to cover it for now, and I'll get back to you."

"Of course, Sir."

"Is there anything else you can tell me? Anything he said, maybe?"

"Only that he trusts you more than anyone else. He specifically said 'even more than All Might', if that matters."

"Thanks," Katsuki nodded. "I'm gonna take off, then. I'll give you a call in the morning."

"Thank you for coming in."

He didn't bother to go home to change his clothes, instead getting straight on a train. While he travelled, he stripped off his belt and gloves, stuffing them in his bag and pulling on a hoodie. He still knew the list of stops like the back of his hand, knew when to relax, when to expect an influx of passengers, when to start weaving his way through to the doors. After so many years, when he filed off and approached the tall gates, he couldn't help but smile faintly.

"My name is Bakugou Katsuki," he spoke into the intercom. "I'm a pro-hero and used to be a student here, I need to talk to one of my former teachers."

"Present your ID to the camera, please."

He held up his hero license, letting the sensors do their thing, and finally the gates slid open for him. He still wasn't used to having to present himself, so accustomed to having a badge on him that would automatically allow him passage, but his hero license should thankfully serve a similar purpose. 

He realised his mistake too late, when he got to the old classroom door and found the desks full of teenagers, half their faces lighting up immediately when they saw him. The room fell silent, and Katsuki looked awkwardly at Aizawa, trying to convey his apologies with his eyes.

"What a nice surprise," Aizawa said flatly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I wanted to talk to you about, uhh, you know," he mumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. "I didn't think to look at the time."

"Come in. The bell goes soon, you may as well talk since you've already distracted them."

"Sorry about that."

"Class, this is Bakugou Katsuki, or Pro-Hero Bakushinchi. He was a student of mine a number of years ago, and inexplicably got through his entire education without being expelled, nor killing another student. If you have any questions, now's your chance."

Fifteen hands shot into the air immediately, and Katsuki sighed, looking out over them with disdain.

"This is gonna take a while, isn't it?"

"Good luck, Bakugou."

It took some time and effort, but Katsuki managed to bite his tongue, answering the questions without any direct malice in his tone, and only a hint of snark and sarcasm. He gave thoughtful answers to thoughtful questions, told a few anecdotes from his time on the job, and before he knew it the bell was ringing. Students fumbled to pack their things away, a hint of amusement passing through Aizawa's face at the sight. Katsuki knew exactly why. He'd been the King of packing up early to get out the door in a hurry. It wasn't often that he'd had to throw his stuff away and run.

When the class cleared out, heading off to the gym, they made their way down the hall to a much quieter wing of the building. Aizawa sat down at a little desk, and Katsuki slid the door closed behind them, sitting opposite him with a long sigh.

"Good group of kids you've got there."

"We don't need to do the pleasantries, Katsuki."

"Oh thank god."

They exchanged little smiles, but Katsuki's faded quickly when he remembered why he was there, when he remembered the crushing weight sitting on his shoulders. It was like a demon on his back, snickering to itself quietly for long enough to let Katsuki be distracted, then cackling into his ear when he least expected it, jolting him back to earth in a hurry.

"I wanted to talk about Deku."

"I assumed as much," Aizawa nodded. "I don't have any more information than you do, if that's why you're here."

"No, his agency are going to arrange for me to go see him. They keep saying it's not advisable, and until now the few people who have been allowed to visit have taken their advice."

"Are you sure you want to see him, if it's that bad?"

"I have to. How do you think he feels, being there alone? I know he isn't conscious, I'm not stupid, but he must be so damn lonely."

"You're a good person. Is there something in particular you wanted to ask? Or do you just need to talk it out?"

"A bit of both."

He looked away, staring at the wall of photographs hanging off to one side. There were few people who got to see inside Aizawa's private office, and part of him wanted to say that everyone who walked in would be surprised by his vast collection of framed photos. As it stood, though, Katsuki suspected the only people who were invited in, were the same people who wouldn't be surprised by such a sentimental gesture from him. 

He knew exactly where his favourite picture was: Second from the left, fourth picture down. His third-year Sports Festival, when he'd taken first place fair and square, and accepted his medal with the utmost grace and humility. 

At least until they'd gotten back to class. After that he'd never stopped gloating, but that was beside the point.

Aizawa had asked him to wait behind, when his classmates began to leave, and when Katsuki had been expecting a lecture, instead he had just set up a camera on his desk. With no audience to behold the sight, Aizawa had put his arm around Katsuki's shoulders, and they'd both smiled surprisingly genuinely at the camera. 

On his graduation day, Aizawa had given him a framed copy of the photo. It hung in his apartment living room, alongside a few other photos Katsuki had resigned himself to keeping. Katsuki and his parents at various ages and events; his twentieth birthday, with all his old friends; and an old, slightly crumpled photograph, smoothed out and carefully framed to match the others: two kids on their first day of elementary school, grinning at each other like tiny idiots with their All Might backpacks, one green haired and the other blond. 

"I was an asshole to him at school," Katsuki said faintly, hands fidgetting in his lap. "Everyone says he forgave me, but I still don't believe it. I know he's... Well, he's Deku. But to think he could move on like it was all no big deal..."

"Midoriya always believed in giving people a chance," Aizawa shrugged. "It took a lot to make him really blow up at someone. You did plenty to prove that you'd changed, and you more than redeemed your past transgressions. Midoriya saw that better than anyone."

"I did some terrible things."

"Would you still do those things now?"

"No! God no."

"And that's exactly why Midoriya forgives you."

Katsuki sighed, but nodded faintly all the same, eyes darting reluctantly to his graduating class hanging on the same wall, to Deku's beaming smile, too damn wide for his face. 

"I promised a long time ago that if anything happened to him, I would make sure his work was taken care of. I wouldn't let everything he does fall to the wayside just because he was gone. I guess I'm just not sure what his role really is anymore."

"You were a huge All Might fan, before you met him, were you not?"

"I still am," Katsuki frowned. "Don't make it sound like he was a disappointment."

"Of course. Then you should know what his most important role was, as a hero."

The words rang familiar in his mind, dredging up conversations long since gone by. Words from All Might, words from Aizawa, even words from Best Jeanist.

"He was a symbol. As long as he was in action, people were deterred from starting trouble. He could never afford to look weak. The Symbol of Peace."

"And what was the problem with that, do you recall?"

"Trick question. There wasn't one."

Aizawa raised an eyebrow, and Katsuki frowned stubbornly.

"People claimed there was a problem, because one pillar isn't strong enough to hold up an entire building. Because if he cracked, it would all crumble down. But one strong support surrounded by a thousand small ones is just as good as ten strong supports. All Might was the central pillar of an endless tower. When he cracked, the building stayed up just fine."

"And why is that?"

"Because there are always more heroes, even if they aren't as all-encompassing as All Might."

"Because we had the right heroes," Aizawa corrected him. "We had heroes who worked as a team, and played to each other's strengths and weaknesses. That was the part you struggled with, was it not?"

Katsuki refused to meet his eyes as he nodded.

"Where do you fit into your analogy?"

"I'm the guard dog outside," he smiled wryly. "I bark and bite and do my best to keep harm from getting near the cracking column."

Aizawa scoffed, but didn't argue, just leaned his head on his hand. 

"And Midoriya?"

Katsuki thought back over a thousand incidents, both with and without All Might at their side, and with a little sigh, he nodded.

"Midoriya filled in the cracks, while I kept people away from them. He started by bracing the pillar, and over time, he took its place."

"So you think Midoriya is the new All Might?"

"No, not exactly."

Aizawa waited patiently, and Katsuki pulled a face before he spoke again.

"He's powerful, even more so than All Might, but he's not as showy. He's not focussed on making sure his name is known around the world, he's not producing thousands of pieces of merch with his face on it, he just does his job and he does it well."

"Very true."

"He doesn't show up at the last second and announce his presence while people cheer and scream, he doesn't force himself to keep smiling while he fights, but if a villain sees him coming, they're sure as hell gonna run."

"Then why does he keep walking the streets?"

"Best Jeanist said it deters villains if they see heroes on every corner, and it lets the people come to recognise us and trust us."

"He's a smart man, sometimes."

"So Deku patrols the city just to show everyone he's there?"

"I'm sure there's more to it than that, but you can ask him yourself when he wakes up. I suspect that's the bit he cares about the most, though."

"So if he's not walking the streets, people will be less deterred," Katsuki sighed. "There are plenty of other heroes in his place, though."

"If you were a villain, would you be more put off by seeing All Might in front of you, or seeing ten random other heroes?"

"Point taken."

"I think we both know why you're in town," Aizawa smiled. "You just hate the idea of trying to do what he does. Talking to random civilians, rescuing cats from trees, being friendly."

Katsuki shuddered, but cracked a smile all the same.

"I'll do it. I won't like it, but I'll do it."

"All Might likes to call Midoriya the 'Symbol of Hope'. He was a beacon of light in an otherwise dark time in this country."

"Yeah, I've heard that one before."

"Do you know what he and Midoriya call you?"

Katsuki shook his head.

"The Symbol of Victory. When Midoriya pictures victory, he pictures you."

"Yeah," Katsuki nodded, out of breath suddenly. "He joked once that he yells and swears more when he really wants to win."

"There are only two things that make a hero a hero. Catching villains, and saving people. Claiming Victory and inspiring Hope."

"Then I'm just gonna have to do both, aren't I?" Katsuki asked, wiping stubborn tears from his eyes. "Until the dumb nerd gets out of bed to do his job, I'll have to do it for him."

"I believe in you, Katsuki. More than you know."