The Deku-Shaped Hole - Chapter 4

Inko smiled as she watched Katsuki cook, sipping at her tea as he worked. He adamantly refused to let her lift a finger to help, and she couldn't help but feel a fondness toward him. He did his best to keep a conversation going, but even the silences were comfortable – Inko was a quiet person until she got excited, just like her son. When passion took them over they held no rivals, but until then, they were both content to just quietly enjoy the company. 

"Are you cold?" she asked, when she caught Katsuki shiver a little. "It must be coming into winter, it's been getting colder in the mornings. I'll get you a jacket."

"It's fine, I'm okay."

"It's no trouble."

She disappeared down the hall, returning with a dark grey hoodie that Katsuki recognised before he'd even really looked. It was one of Izuku's plain-clothes collection, specifically bought to throw on over his costume and blend into the crowd a little easier. He'd seen plenty of candid photos, both online and in gossip magazines, featuring the exact same piece of fabric that Inko was now slipping around Katsuki's shoulders.

It might have been the softest thing he'd ever touched, Katsuki thought. No wonder the nerd wore it so often, it was like wearing a cloud of warmth. He was gonna have to find out where it came from, when the idiot woke up. 

"Thank you," he smiled softly, snuggling into the cozy fabric, loose around his much slimmer frame. "Breakfast is almost ready."

She set out two places at the table, and soon Katsuki was dishing up a hearty meal, taking his seat to join her. Inko really did make good company, it was no wonder Deku had opted to live at home for so long. He'd probably meet some sweet girl one day and buy a house to start a family with her, but he had no doubt there would be a little wing of the building set aside solely for Inko to inhabit with them.

"Do you think Deku will have kids one day?" he found himself asking, cringing when Inko's eyes widened. "I mean, we're getting to that kind of age. Some of our friends are getting married and stuff, y'know?"

"He won't have biological children, but he might adopt one day. Probably not until he retires from being a hero."

"Really? How come? The adopting, I mean."

"You can ask him when he wakes up," Inko smiled. "I'm sure he'd be more than happy to tell you all about it, at length and in-depth."

"I'm gonna go see him this afternoon."

Inko froze for a moment, and Katsuki almost retracted the statement, almost began a spiel of "if that's okay with you, of course, I don't have to go." She was too sweet and gentle, he hated how soft he became around his long-standing rival's mother.

"You'll tell me how he looks, won't you?"

"Of course. I know it's hard, hell it's even hard for me, but I will tell you what I find out with complete honesty."

"Thank you, Katsuki. That means a lot to me."

"If there's anything else I can do," he found himself saying, immediately kicking himself for it. "Fuck I sound like a loser, forget that. Just tell me how I can help, alright? I'm awful at this shit, so you'll have to tell me, but I do want to help."

"I'll be sure to let you know."

Conversation seemed to come a little easier, with the air cleared, and Katsuki relaxed as they ate and chatted, turning on the news to listen to reports and discuss the events. It really was just like back in high school, when he used to eat breakfast with Izuku sometimes, and a small part of Katsuki's brain pointed out that Inko probably felt the same. He shoved that thought aside in a hurry.

When the time came for them to part ways, Inko stood in the doorway with a little smile on her face, waving as he stepped into the hall.

"It was nice to see you again, Katsuki. Thank you for keeping me company."

"My pleasure. Same time tomorrow?"

"That sounds lovely. It's my turn to cook this time."

"Sure, sounds good. Oh, I should give you this."

He reached for the zip on his pillow-soft hoodie, but Inko shook her head, gently nudging his hand away.

"It'll be cold on your way home, you keep hold of it."

"Thank you. I'll wash it and have it back safely by the time Deku wakes up."

"Have a safe trip home, and I hope your visit this afternoon goes well. Give him my love, tell him I miss him and I'm waiting right here for him."

"Of course. I'm sure he misses you, too."

He hugged her goodbye of his own accord, a little surprised at himself, but when the few stray tears seeped into his front he couldn't bring himself to be upset about it.

"Take care of yourself."

"You too, Katsuki."

─────

The hospital was quiet. Something about that was surprising to Katsuki, though he supposed it came with being in a long-term care ward. There were no doctors and nurses rushing back and forth between rooms, no one being wheeled into operation rooms in a hurry, no random people spilling blood all over the floor – if not for the white coats everywhere, he almost could have said it looked like a hotel. Lots of nice little individual rooms, all well-kept and clean, just a few beeping machines reminding him otherwise.

"I'm Bakugou Katsuki, here to see Midoriya Izuku," he said to the receptionist, watching her look up the name and start. "I was told arrangements had been made."

"Yes, of course Mister Bakugou. Um, I'm obligated to ask if you're sure you want to see him. It may be... Distressing."

"I'm sure."

"Very well, take the elevator up to the third floor, he's in room three-oh-two."

"Thank you."

He took long, slow breaths as he ascended, shivering a little when he reached the right floor. He huddled inside Deku's hoodie, folding his arms around himself tightly. It smelled of him still, his scent woven into the fibres after all the long hours of use, and he hated himself for finding it comforting.

He knocked on the door, immediately feeling like an idiot for it, and slowly pushed it open on a clean, untouched room. There were a dozen machines surrounding the bed, sheets pulled up over his limp body, though he could see the outline of hundreds of bandages beneath the thin material, and a few plaster casts that he suspected weren't entirely necessary, what with Deku passed out and all. 

"Hey, nerd," he said softly, taking a seat beside the bed. "I was gonna bring flowers, but that seemed dumb, so here."

He took a tiny All Might figure from his pocket, planting it on his bedside table, and smiled slightly as he added a matching Bakushinchi one.

"These ones aren't publicly available yet, so you'd better wake up soon enough to appreciate it, shitty nerd. He's gonna watch over you when I'm not here."

There was something oddly heart-breaking about Izuku's lifeless body, only the hum of the mask on his face even keeping him breathing.

"Hurry up and get better, okay? Everyone is worried. Even I'm worried."

For over an hour he sat at Deku's side, sometimes talking nonsense and updating him on the news, other times just sitting in silence, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest.

"I read your letter," he confessed finally, leaning in to gently touch Izuku's hand. "And I've been thinking about it a lot. I don't want to agree, Deku, because that would mean you losing it. It's not mine to hold, it's never been mine. I mean, sure, it would be cool as fuck to add explosions to that huge power of yours, but this was made for you. It's like your quirk has existed all this time just so that you could use it. So it's hard to even consider taking that away, you know?"

He paused for a moment, wishing that just for a moment he could feel Izuku squeeze him back, could see his eyelids flutter or hear that dumb voice bleating "Kacchan!" like he had for so much of his life.

"But the thing is, you must be terrifed too. As much as we're scared of losing you, it must be so much more horrible for you. I should have realised that earlier, I guess. It's not like this is a new concept to me. So I thought I'd come here and make you a deal. Listen closely, alright? I'm only gonna say this once."

He leaned in close, his lips right beside Deku's ear, and spoke slowly and clearly to his fragile form.

"I'm gonna do it. Just so that you can rest peacefully and not have to worry. In return, you have to promise not to trigger it unless you're absolutely certain it's the end, got it? If you wake up and I have your power, I am gonna be pissed. I'm gonna give you the option to send it to me, but you're not gonna do it unless you're absolutely sure, got it? If you don't object, I'm gonna assume you agree to my terms."

Still Deku remained silent, and in a way Katsuki was disappointed. A small part of him had hoped the nerd might wake up just to argue with him.

"It's a deal, then. Here goes nothing."

He pulled a strand of green hair from his pocket, wrapped carefully in tissue paper, and pulled a face at the nerd before he swallowed it down.

"It's done, idiot. If I feel some creepy power come rushing in, I'm gonna assume your ass is dead. So don't make me feel it, okay? I hate to do this, but please, Deku, don't let me feel it."

His breath shuddered as he sighed, closing his eyes to savour the warmth and sweet scent beside him.

"Please, Deku. Please wake up for me."