Pun-ishment [Threadvember]

This one is for CakeyDill who requested "pun maker Izuku drives bakugo crazy"

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Katsuki was ready to just fall into bed and never move again. They'd been on a stake out all night as it was, and of course the god damn villains had decided the perfect time to make a move was five minutes before they switched shifts. Adrenalin had kicked in and gotten them moving, Katsuki on one side of the street and Eijirou on the other, fighting together the way they'd always done. They'd met up a few hours later with Izuku and Shouto, as each team dragged their apprehended villains into a police station for handover, and with fading excitement and a rising sun they'd started to yawn.

Katsuki would have fallen into bed and never moved again, if not for the fact that they were being put up in a hotel for the length of the mission, and his only chance to get a decent cooked meal without going out searching for it was during the short hours of the hotel's breakfast buffet. With his stomach growling, he couldn't bring himself to pass it up.

They ditched their costumes quickly, trading them for whatever clean civilian clothes they still had on hand after three days of stupid work hours, and together the four of them met up at the long line of metal platters and dishes, ready to stuff their faces.

"You seem chipper for someone who got no sleep!" Eijirou laughed, throwing an arm around Izuku's shoulders as he giggled over something undoubtedly stupid. "It's all I can do to keep a smile on my face, and here you are laughing and cracking jokes!"

"He's overtired," Katsuki explained, without even looking up to make the diagnosis. "We should probably get a different table."

"Aww, don't be mean, Blasty! Come on Midoriya, let's get some food and go find seats all together!"

"Bad idea," Katsuki warned again, too tired to do much more than that. "You sharing a room with him, halfie?"

"Yeah."

"Good luck."

He loaded his plate up with everything on offer, balancing it carefully as he followed Eijirou and Izuku toward a free table. He debated ditching them, finding a spot on his own, but the only thing worse than putting up with his shitty friends was sitting with shitty strangers.

It began the moment he sat down, with Eijirou setting down glasses of water in front of each of them, and Izuku giggling as Katsuki took a sip.

"Hey Kacchan," he began, his tone already setting Katsuki on edge. "Water you doing later?"

He earned a chuckle from Eijirou, a polite little smile from Shouto, but Katsuki just rolled his eyes. He knew where this disaster of a human conversation was going.

"Sleeping," he answered flatly, as if the pun hadn't even existed. "Why?"

"Me too, what a coincidence! Oh, but Kacchan, did you want to borrow my jacket?"

He frowned at Izuku, biting down on a fresh pepper, and against his better judgement, he answered.

"What?"

"You look a little chilli," Izuku giggled.

Katsuki lost a groan at that, reaching over to punch him, but Izuku dodged it with another little giggle. He picked up a piece of toast, and Katsuki was too tired to even lecture him about the lack of nutritional content in bread, instead settling for a bite of his meat-filled omelette. Izuku could have his damn carbs, Katsuki would take protein any day.

"Shut up and let me eat," he said finally. "I'm too tired for your bullshit."

"Aww Kacchan, you're bacon my heart!"

"I hate you."

"Are you saying I butter cut it out?"

Sure enough, Katsuki looked up to see the nerd spreading creamy butter on his toast, and he almost slapped it out of his hand then and there.

"That omelette looks egg-cellent."

"I'm leaving."

He climbed out of his seat, grabbing his plate to move, but much to his dismay a group of high schoolers on a field trip had arrived, crowding the buffet and every extra seat in the room. He gritted his teeth, debating whether he should just walk out and forget the food, but his stomach was still growling in protest. It might have been the hardest decision of his life.

"Sorry Kacchan, I didn't mean to annoy you that much," Izuku pouted, when Eijirou shot him a pointed look. "I'll try to cut back."

"I think they're funny," Shouto offered, taking a sip from his mug of hot tea. "Bakugou getting pissed off is like the icing on the cake."

"Aww, Todoroki! Thank you very matcha!"

"I swear to God, nerd, I'm this close to punching you in the face and damning the consequences."

"Please don't Kacchan, that'll hurt."

"Then shut your damn face."

"Kacchan is so strong, after all."

"Compliments won't save you, asshole."

"I ain't got muffin on you."

With a cheeky little grin, Izuku slid a banana muffin across the table toward him, and sparks popped off in Katsuki's hands. Every eye in the room turned to look, and Shouto's ice hand was already rising in case he needed to stop them in a hurry.

"Relax, Bakugou, he's already made puns about everything on our plates," Eijirou chuckled. "He has to be almost out, all he has left is the table."

"Nah, that one might make you unstable."

Katsuki slammed a hand over Izuku's mouth, the sharp, sweet scent of his sweat stopping Izuku in his tracks, and his eyes knitted together as he stared at the hot hand on his skin.

"You done, you piece of shit?"

Izuku nodded once, and Katsuki gave him a warning look, slowly taking his hand away. The tension in the room was palpable, but slowly, with Izuku's continued silence, the other guests began to return to their own activities and conversations.

Katsuki was just beginning to relax, finishing off his food and a few more glasses of water, contemplating how full he was and whether he was ready to finally return to his room, when Izuku returned with four little cups of pudding in his hands, handing a coffee flavoured one to Katsuki with an apologetic look on his face. Katsuki accepted, dipping his spoon in to get started, but as he shoved a scoop of sweet pudding in his mouth that familiar stupid grin stretched across Izuku's lips.

"Thanks for pudding up with me, Kacchan."

This time, Katsuki stormed out.