Flowerbed

This fic is a ridiculously belated birthday gift for Shotty ^^ thank you for being such a good friend <3 Here's my best attempt at a take on one of your faves, from a very old conversation about it! ;)

─────

“It just feels like... my lungs are really, really small.”

Ochako’s eyes widened, listening attentively, and Izuku hummed to himself as he considered it.

“I know people talk about not being able to inflate their lungs properly, but it’s been so long that now it just feels like they’re small, you know? I’ve had small lungs for so long that I’ve just gotten used to it.”

“Doesn’t it make it hard in heroics, though?”

“A little, but my inhaler helps a lot, so as long as I keep it on me it’s not really a big deal. I use it every morning and every night, that keeps my lungs loose and like... stretchy. If they get tight, I just take another dose during the day.”

“Wow, that’s so intense! I never even knew! You’re amazing, Deku!”

Izuku blushed, shrugging it off, but Ochako continued to sing his praises – she was a sucker for stories about overcoming adversity, he could only imagine the field day she’d have if she ever found out he’d been quirkless.

“I heard the surgeries work really well, you’ve never considered it?”

“No.” Izuku smiled softly to himself. “They have a lot of side effects that I don’t want to risk, unless it’s going to kill me or something. That never happens anymore, though. It’s just a little inconvenient, and I don’t want to risk forgetting how it feels.”

“How the flowers feel?” Ochako asked, eyes widening. “Why?!”

“How the love feels,” he clarified with a sheepish laugh. “So many people say they feel weirdly numb for a long time after, like their emotions have all been dulled, and they can’t remember why they loved the person in the first place. I don’t want to lose that, I’d rather have the tiniest lungs in the world than lose that.”

“You’re such a romantic, Deku.” She sighed fondly. “I wish I loved someone that much, it’s so sweet.”

“You’ll meet someone, one day! I just hope yours loves you back, so you don’t have to deal with the rest of it!”

Her smile fell, and Izuku shook his head quickly, hands flailing as he struggled to figure out how to comfort her. She just chuckled though, hushing him when he tried to apologise, and leaned in to give him a tight hug.

“Do you ever see him? To know if you truly still love him?”

“All the time,” Izuku laughed. “It still makes me happy, every time. Even if he doesn’t love me, I’m just happy to see him, to spend time with him.”

“Does he... know?”

“No, gosh no, I would never put that burden on him. I don’t want him to force himself to love me just so I won’t be sick anymore, you know? He’d never be able to break up with me because he’d be worried about making the flowers come back. I can’t ever tell him, it would be too selfish.”

“You’re such a good guy, Deku.”

“Thank you,” he laughed awkwardly. “That’s nice of you to say.”

The laugh made him cough quietly, a single orange petal landing in his hand, and Ochako could only smile at him sympathetically as he stuffed it in his pocket to throw away later. He jumped when familiar footsteps stomped down the hall toward them, glancing at the time and cursing himself as he leapt to his feet.

“So sorry, I’ve gotta go, I’m meant to be training with Kacchan! Sorry!”

“No problem!” She giggled. “Have a good time!”

“Sorry, Kacchan!” he squeaked, before Katsuki could say a word. “Two minutes! Just let me get changed!”

“Hurry it up, you damn nerd. I’m buying you an alarm clock for your next birthday.”

“Noted! Thanks, Kacchan!”

He took off to his bedroom, throwing on some gym clothes and racing back down, catching up with Katsuki halfway to the sparring rooms. Katsuki slowed down immediately, narrowing his eyes at Izuku for a moment and huffing as he looked away again, continuing his brisk walk toward the practice building.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” he asked, voice oddly quiet. “You’re feeling okay?”

“What? Yeah! Of course I am! Why?”

“Seems like your asthma has been bad lately,” he grumbled. “If I’m gonna put you in hospital again, I’d rather it’s because I beat your ass than because your lungs gave out.”

“It’s no big deal, I promise! Besides, I have my inhaler!”

“Whatever.”

He pulled it from his pocket, waving it in Katsuki’s face, but Katsuki swatted it away lightly, already satisfied. Izuku had always made a point of proving himself, even though Katsuki never seemed to need it. He was such a stickler for the truth, had always seemed incapable of lying even if he wanted to, so he was quick to take other people at their word, too. Izuku liked to think he was just reinforcing that trust, though, for when the time came that he needed Katsuki to believe him without evidence.

The doors were wide open when they arrived, left for the students to do weekend training if they desired, so Katsuki marched straight in and slung his hoodie aside, getting set up on the mats.

“Loser cooks dinner?” Izuku suggested with a smile.

“You’re on.”

─────

Izuku hit the ground, coughing hard, and Eijirou rolled off him immediately. He helped Izuku sit up, patting him on the back, and Izuku quickly covered his mouth with his hands as the coughing continued. He felt the petals spill out, filling his hands, and quickly snapped his fingers together tighter to keep them from spilling.

“Woah, are you okay?” Eijirou asked, eyes widening. “Is that blood?”

“Out of the way, asshole,” Katsuki grunted, shoving Eijirou aside and reaching into Izuku’s pocket. “Oi, nerd, here, use it.”

“Don’t look,” he croaked, turning away stubbornly. “Kacchan, please.”

“What the fuck? Just use the damn thing!”

“Please.”

Katsuki threw the inhaler into Izuku’s lap and turned away, folding his arms stubbornly, though his rapidly tapping foot betrayed his nerves. He growled, muttering under his breath, and Izuku finally let go, bright red petals spilling into the grass. Eijirou let out a low whistle, but Ochako was at his side in an instant, clapping a hand over his mouth and giving him a warning look.

Izuku shoved the end of his inhaler in his mouth, breathing deeply, and slowly his chest began to loosen up, his lungs accepting oxygen again. When he looked down, he found four huge roses, their petals swirled in a way that would be magnificent if they hadn’t come out stained with blood. Like the true friend she was, Ochako swept them away in a hurry, and Katsuki huffed as he glanced back over his shoulder.

“Can I turn around now, nerdass?”

“Yeah,” Izuku choked out, his throat raw. “Thanks, Kacchan.”

“Dunce Face, bring his water,” Katsuki demanded, marching closer to kneel at Izuku’s side. “The hell was that about? Shitty Hair said there was blood?”

“Just my throat, it’s fine.”

“Oi, Pikachu, where’s his- Oh.”

Denki grinned, already holding out the All Might-themed bottle Izuku carried with him everywhere, and Izuku guzzled down water gratefully, letting the cold soothe his aching throat. He took another huff of his inhaler, lungs finally returning to normal, and when he looked up, he finally managed a small smile.

“Thanks for worrying about me, Kacchan.”

“Shut up,” Katsuki grumbled, cheeks burning. “Just take care of yourself, dumbass.”

He hauled Izuku to his feet, taking a quick glance at his red-stained hands, but when Izuku seemed steady on his feet, he backed off. Still he hovered, though, a lot closer than he’d usually be, and Izuku tried to look reassuring when he shot him a wobbly smile.

“Midoriya, take the rest of the day off. Uraraka, can you-”

“I’ll take him,” Katsuki cut in, already striding over to the bleachers to grab their things. “Come on, Deku, we’re going back.”

Ochako didn’t release Eijirou until the pair was well out of sight, both of them staring at the crushed roses silently while everyone else gathered their own belongings to wrap up.

“He doesn’t want anyone to know,” Ochako whispered. “He has it under control. At least, he did until now. I’m not sure what happened.”

“It does tend to get worse over time, right?” he asked, staring at the tattered petals. “Is he getting the surgery?”

“He doesn’t want it, he says he loves this guy too much to risk losing the feeling.”

“What do you mean ‘this guy’?”

“It’s someone he went to middle school with, that’s all I know, other than every time he talks about him, he gets this dreamy look on his face like he’s never been happier, it’s like the sun shines out his ass or something.”

“Uraraka,” Eijirou sighed. “It’s obviously Bakugou.”

“What?!”

Everyone looked up at the squawk, and Eijirou sighed when she clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle it, shaking his head at her slowly.

“That look you’re describing, that’s how Midoriya looks at Bakugou every single time. He walks into the room, dreamy smile. He yells at someone, dreamy smile. He blows something up, dreamy smile.”

“I mean... You’re not wrong,” Ochako admitted. “But why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“Because it’s Bakugou. Do you really think he’d respond well to hearing that news? If you accidentally slipped or something and he found out, their friendship would be ruined.”

“So what do we do?”

“I guess we could try to come up with some kind of plot to get them together?”

“Because matchmaking schemes always go so well,” she snorted. “Besides, he wouldn’t have the disease if Bakugou liked him back, right?”

“I don’t think Bakugou likes anything. Except blowing things up, I guess.”

Ochako sighed, nodding, and finally they moved away from the discarded roses, heading back toward the rest of the class.

“I’ve never seen it get so bad.” Tenya hummed thoughtfully. “I wonder if there’s something we can do to help him, there are things that trigger asthma more harshly than others, right?”

“He’s fine, Iida,” Ochako assured him. “His inhaler does the job whenever he needs it, and if there was anything else he needed, he’d tell us! He wouldn’t want us to start treating him differently because of this, we just need to let him handle it!”

“I guess you’re right,” Tenya nodded. “He’s made it this far, after all. I’m sure if there’s a stronger medication he can go on, or something, he’ll be sure to do it himself without us interfering.”

“Exactly! He’s a smart guy! He takes care of himself!”

“I hope so,” Eijirou sighed. “I really do.”

─────

Despite his protests, Izuku found himself tucked up in bed, laughing awkwardly as Katsuki fed him hot tea with lemon like his life depended on it. He sat back against perfectly fluffed pillows, clutching the warm mug between his hands, and when Katsuki had finally deemed him suitably settled, he joined Izuku on the bed.

“When are you gonna tell me?”

“Tell you what, Kacchan?”

“I’m not stupid, I know it’s not just asthma. I’ve been watching you do this shit since first year. First it was inhaler on cold mornings, then it was every morning, then before bed, now you’re constantly huffing on it during the day too? It’s getting worse. When are you getting the damn surgery?”

“I’m not.”

“Haaah? Why the fuck not?”

“Because I-” a burst of coughs cut him off, and Katsuki’s eyes widened in alarm when a few orange buds came out of him. “I’m fine, Kacchan, I just don’t want the surgery, okay? I just... Don’t.”

“You’re being a sentimental asshole, aren’t you?” he growled, eyes narrowing. “If this chick liked you back you’d have gotten rid of the stupid flowers by now, so why do you care about holding on to these dumb feelings?”

“Because it’s not dumb, Kacchan. And it’s not some chick. For starters, it’s a guy, and I’m in love with him. I don’t want to just throw away everything that matters to me! He’s important, and special, and I like feeling this love for him. I like the fluttery feeling I get when he smiles at me, I like spending time with him and talking to him any chance I get, and even though I know he’ll never return my feelings, even though I know it’ll never happen, I like daydreaming about holding his hand and hugging him or cuddling under a blanket when it’s cold. I don’t care how much it destroys me, I do not want to forget these feelings. They matter to me!”

He didn’t realise he was tearing up until Katsuki reached out, wiping a tear from his cheek, and more neon-orange petals spilled from his lips, landing in his lap.

“Sorry.” He sniffled, wiping his face stubbornly. “I just- I don’t like the thought of it, of forgetting everything I loved about him, you know?”

“Okay,” Katsuki said softly. “I don’t get it, but that’s your choice. Just... Calm down, okay? Don’t make it worse.”

“It’s fine, Kacchan, it doesn’t get worse just because I cry.”

“Drink, your throat must hurt.”

“You don’t need to baby me.”

Something scratched at his throat, and Izuku pulled a face, cheeks flushing pink.

“Can you look away for a second?”

Katsuki huffed, but turned away all the same, closing his eyes while Izuku reached into his mouth. He got a grip on a petal, gagging slightly as he tugged, and despite his cringe, he managed to pull a big, bright flowerhead from where it had lodged in his throat.

“I had it once,” Katsuki mumbled, his eyes still firmly closed.

“Had what, Kacchan?”

“The stupid flowers. They caught it early, so I just had to do the meds rather than the surgery, it didn’t take long.”

“I never knew.”

“Yeah, wasn’t exactly the type to brag about that shit.”

“I guess not,” Izuku smiled faintly. “Did you miss it, after? The... feelings?”

“I was too young to understand. I don’t remember... anything, really. Just being confused when I kept puking up leaves and grass, then they gave me some pills, and a few days later I was back to normal. It was in the break just before middle school, so I didn’t even have to miss class or anything.”

“That... kind of makes sense,” Izuku mumbled, ducking his head.

“What does?”

“You kind of got... assholey. In middle school.”

Katsuki huffed, but he didn’t try to deny it, and Izuku cracked a little smile.

“Puberty probably isn’t the best time to be fucking with that shit,” he acknowledged. “Hormones are already doing their shitty thing, then you throw hanahaki meds into the mix and everything gets all screwed up.”

“I don’t know why you got it anyway. Everyone loved Kacchan, surely it couldn’t have been unrequited.”

“No one liked me,” Katsuki snorted. “I was an ass.”

“No way! You were cute, and talented, and amazing at everything you did! You still are!”

“Obviously,” Katsuki smirked, making him giggle. “But I was still an ass, no one likes an ass.”

Izuku fell silent, unable to find the words to respond, and Katsuki huffed quietly.

“Besides,” he continued. “Even if people had liked me, it’s not like the flowers magically know that. As long as I thought it was unrequited, it was gonna happen.”

“Oh, I never thought about that.” Izuku hummed, taking another sip of his tea. “I guess that’s true.”

“You need to stop with these things, at any rate,” Katsuki snorted, picking up the orange flower by his fingertips. “Keep spitting out this shit and you’ll end up covering your entire bed with them.”

“You could say it would be a... flowerbed,” Izuku giggled, ducking when Katsuki swiped at him. “Okay, okay! That was bad, I know! I couldn’t resist!”

“Damn nerd.”

Katsuki fell silent, and Izuku followed suit, watching the way Katsuki so quickly got lost in his own thoughts. He could never tell what was going on in Katsuki’s brain, and his chest always ached when he saw that soft, contemplative look on the handsome face, his hand slowly lifting to touch Katsuki’s leg lightly.

“Who is it?” Katsuki asked again, a little more direct this time. “Whose ass do I need to kick?”

Izuku smiled fondly, shaking his head, and Katsuki finally turned to meet his eyes.

“Kacchan, who else would it be?” he asked fondly. “It’s always been Kacchan.”

For a moment Katsuki just stared, wide-eyed, before an unattractive snort came out of his mouth.

“Stupid nerd,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “What’s with these damn flowers then, huh? Of course your dumb ass would spend years coughing up flowers when you could have just told me.”

“But Kacchan is amazing, you would never-”

“Don’t you dare tell me what I would and wouldn’t do,” Katsuki huffed. “Just- Fucking kiss me or something, alright? We need to show your lungs who’s boss.”

Laughing through his tears, Izuku nodded, and Katsuki leaned in to press their lips together clumsily. It was wet, and sticky, and completely unattractive, but still Izuku never wanted to let him go.

Katsuki shifted, slotting himself into the space beside Izuku, where he could wrap an arm around his waist and pull him closer, their bodies flush together. Izuku could only grin at him as he wound an arm around Katsuki's neck in return, planting another quick kiss on soft lips and wishing it would never end.

"It doesn't have to," Katsuki said knowingly, brushing a thumb over tear-stained freckles. "Stop mumbling and kiss me."

"Gladly."

─────

When Izuku walked into class the next morning, he was met by a dozen concerned looks and a handful of hugs, everyone bursting with questions. They hadn't seen him all night, since Katsuki had brought him dinner in his room, and the way everyone so desperately wanted to check on his wellbeing was honestly kind of touching.

"I'm doing much better," Izuku assured them all. "Better than I've ever been!"

"Just don't push yourself too hard," Ochako reminded him, her expression full of sympathy and worry. "You've still got your inhaler, right?"

"Actually, no," he grinned, turning slightly to glance back over his shoulder. "I don't think I'm gonna need it, anymore."

A warm hand wove through his, and Izuku squeezed it lightly, grinning up at the surprisingly soft face above him. This time, when the little smile made his chest squeeze, it didn't come with pain or concern - he was able, for the first time, to just enjoy it for what it was.

"Nope," Katsuki smirked, planting a kiss on the top of his head. "Never again, nerd."

The class flew into a frenzy, bordering on a riot, everyone erupting with cheers and squeals and a few screams of WHAT?!, and Izuku could only laugh as Katsuki dragged him over to their seats, nudging him into his chair.

Izuku took a long, deep breath as he waited for the yelling to die down, relishing the feeling of his lungs expanding in his chest, filling up with more air than he thought he'd ever held. It was a really, really good feeling, and Izuku could only hope that he never had to lose it again.

"Hey, nerd?" Katsuki asked, twisting around in his seat.

"Hi, Kacchan!"

"Next time I give you flowers, they're gonna come from a store, not your damn lungs, got it?"

Izuku giggled, clapping a hand over his mouth to stifle it, but Katsuki only smiled fondly at his sheer delight.

"That sounds great, Kacchan."

"Damn right it does."