A Massive Pain In The Ass - 2/6 [Little Sh*t Part 10]

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Katsuki watched as the tall people unloaded bags and boxes from the strollers they’d picked out at the store – for Izuku and the girls, of course, Katsuki didn’t need a stroller! He was so big that he got to stand on the back of it and surf it back home! He’d like to see blobby little Izuku do that.

Izuku had cooed at him the whole time, clapping his clumsy little hands and burbling his excitement at how cool Katsuki was. Understandably, of course. Katsuki was the coolest kid ever.

“Alright, so we’ve got the baby futon for Izuku, and I’ll drag Katsuki’s mattress into my room for the night so I can keep an eye on them both,” Kirishima began, rummaging through their pile of purchases to find what he wanted. “Plus your super cool matching All Might onesies!”

“Weeeee!” Izuku sang, clapping his little hands excitedly. “Ma ma!”

“Yeah, Might Might,” Katsuki agreed, grabbing a bag to look through it himself. “Where’s my clothes gone, Spiky?”

“This one here!” Kirishima grinned, handing him a bag. “The bathrooms are just down the hall, if you wanna go get changed. Want me to come help?”

“I can do it!” Katsuki huffed. “Can go toilet myself too.”

“I’m sure you can, buddy. Why don’t you go while you’re there, then? And don’t forget to wash your hands!”

“I know that!”

He dragged the bag down the hall, frustrated when he heard much heavier footsteps following him, glancing back to see mismatched eyes meeting his gaze.

“I just brought this,” he explained, holding up a piece of plastic. “To help you reach on your own.”

“Oh.”

“You’re welcome.”

Katsuki grumbled, but he didn’t argue, watching Shouto unfold the little step-stool and set it in front of the basins. He was smart enough to know he was gonna need it, but he’d never lower himself to saying thanks to the weirdo.

“It’s starting to get a bit late,” Shouto mused. “What do you like to eat? We should start arranging dinner soon.”

“Rice!”

“Cool, with meat on it or something?”

“No!”

“Just rice?”

“Yeah!”

“How about some vegetables?”

“No!”

“Alright,” Shouto shrugged. “Rice is easy, I can do rice.”

Katsuki smirked, proud to have gotten his own way for once, and Shouto folded his arms across his chest, leaning back against the bathroom wall.

“How about Izuku?” he asked. “Probably lots of mushy stuff, right? Since he doesn’t really have teeth.”

“Mm...” Katsuki wracked his brains, screwing his face up in thought. “Mashtatoes.”

“Mashed potatoes?” Shouto asked knowingly.

“No! Mashtatoes!” Katsuki insisted, stomping his little foot. “Is... Is different!”

“Okay. Different how?”

“Mm... Cheese.”

“Cheese?”

“Mashtatoes have cheese.”

“So mashed potatoes with cheese in them?”

“On top!”

“On top, got it. Do you want some mashtatoes too?”

“No! Don’t like cheese!”

“So mashtatoes for Izuku, and rice for you.”

“Yeah!”

“Okay, deal. Is there anything else you like? For tomorrow maybe?”

“Rice!”

“Anything except rice?”

“No!”

“Okay,” Shouto sighed. “I’ll make lots of rice.”

“Good!”

Shouto left him to it, off to cook a mountain of rice for Katsuki and probably their other classmates to share, and Katsuki turned his attention to the toilet in the little stall. His own toilet at his parents’ home was smaller, and a cooler colour. This one was weird, and big. Luckily, Katsuki was big too! He would be fine!

He stripped off his clothes, and in a moment of inspiration, dragged the step-stool over to the toilet to help. It made it much easier for him to get high enough to sit down properly, to make sure he was positioned where he wouldn’t fall in and get his bum bitten by a toilet fish.

Flushing was another issue. He had to carefully navigate himself up to stand on the toilet seat, reaching over to push the button, and when the loud flush began it made him jump so hard he almost dipped his foot in the yucky pee water. Thankfully, his amazing reaction speed kept his foot dry and un-nibbled, and he climbed back down triumphantly to get dressed.

“Hands!” Shouto called from the kitchen, the moment Katsuki opened the bathroom door.

“I remembered!” Katsuki yelled right back, turning around and stomping back to the sink, dragging his stool over to help him get clean. He was just testing Shouto, obviously!

“Good boy,” Kirishima praised, when Katsuki returned with his too-big clothing in hand. “Shouto is making dinner for you guys, and Mina is setting the girls up with beds and stuff in her room. Do you wanna come see my room, too? You can sleep there with me tonight, and Izuku too.”

“Fine.”

“Come on, then!”

He tucked Izuku into the crook of his arm, picking up an armload of bags to go with them, and Katsuki pouted as he stubbornly snatched his own clothing bag, hugging it to his chest.

“Thanks for helping, Kacchan!” Kirishima grinned, without missing a beat. “You’re a great helper.”

“I know.”

He led the way up to the bedroom, and Katsuki pulled a face when he saw inside – the walls were covered in weird posters, his bed looked like it was made of swamp, and with his desk and a big punching bag and a dozen other things crammed in, Katsuki wasn’t sure where he was supposed to sleep.

“Hmm,” Kirishima hummed to himself, glancing around as he apparently came to the same conclusion himself. “You know what? Your bedroom is less cluttered, how about I sleep over in your room instead?”

“My room!” Katsuki agreed immediately – what did old-him's bedroom look like? Was it the same as his bedroom at home? Was it even cooler?

“Alright, come on then!”

The room next door was unlocked, just waiting to be invaded for sleepovers, and Katsuki’s eyes widened as he looked around.

It was much cleaner and less cluttered than Kirishima’s, thankfully, and Kirishima set Izuku down in open floor space, grinning as he pointed back at the door.

“I’m gonna drag my mattress in so we can have a sleepover!”

“You can use my bed,” Katsuki offered, voice much quieter than usual.

“Thanks, Kacchan! You still need somewhere for you to sleep, though!”

“I’ll sleep by Izuku,” he said firmly. “Gotta look after him.”

“That’s sweet of you, but-”

“No,” he huffed, cutting Kirishima off. “I’m sleeping with Izuku.”

Kirishima smiled softly, nodding faintly when he saw the determination in Katsuki’s eyes.

“Okay,” he conceded. “We bought a couple of small futon to use, since they’re easier than dragging mattresses around, and it’ll stop Izuku from rolling off a bed. I’ll set both of them out, and you can sleep beside him.”

“Good.”

“But you have to be careful, okay? He’s still smaller than you, you can’t roll over and squish him!”

“I know!”

“Alright, you can sleep beside Izuku, then.”

“I think he wants a nap already.”

“Oh. I guess he hasn’t had one today, not really.”

Dressed in his fuzzy new All Might onesie, Izuku had quickly lay down on the wooden floor, rolling around until he found a spot he deemed acceptable to curl up for a nap. With his hand in his mouth and drool soaking into his little hood, he was already out like a light, and Kirishima laughed when he saw it.

“Okay,” Kirishima said softly. “Let’s get your beds made up, so Izuku can take a nap, and yours will be all ready when you get tired too.”

True to his word, Kirishima made a call and soon there was a blond man standing in the doorway, unfolding squishy futon and making them up with blankets and pillows. Katsuki hated to admit it, but the bed looked pretty enticing by the time it was done. It had been a long day.

“There you go, buddy!” Kirishima whispered, laying Izuku in his little bed beside Katsuki’s. “Get some rest!”

“He pooped.”

“Huh? What do-” Kirishima froze, sniffing once and screwing up his nose. “You’re right, he pooped.”

“Not it!” the blond man chimed in quickly. “I’ll keep an eye on little Kacchan!”

“Not little.”

“Sorry! Big man Kacchan!”

Chuckling to himself, Kirishima scooped Izuku back up and carried him through to the bathroom, dragging along a bag of diapers and wet wipes that Katsuki did not envy.

“I’m Denki,” the blond man explained, sitting down on the floor beside him. “Sorry, forgot to tell you. You usually call me ‘stupid’ or ‘idiot face’ or something of the sort, though.”

Katsuki grinned, a sharp-toothed look of glee, and Denki laughed brightly.

“I made a stop by your wife’s room,” he continued. “Picked up something for you.”

From his pocket he produced two little All Might plushies, and Katsuki felt his face light up again no matter how hard he tried to act cool.

“I know it must be weird, not knowing exactly what’s going on and where you are. I thought maybe these guys would help you be brave if you get nervous, or just be fun to play with if you’re fine!”

“Thanks,” he conceded, accepting the toys from Denki’s hand. “One for me and one for Izuku.”

“Exactly. Matching little buddies for our matching husband and wife.”

Katsuki nodded firmly, tucking them into the blankets of their matching futon, and Denki just grinned knowingly when he saw Katsuki’s face.

“Are you hungry yet?”

“Not really. Spike-Head got me snacks at the mall.”

“Cool, dinner might be a little while still. Why don’t you lie down for a bit with your Izuku? He might need you to comfort him, being in a scary new place.”

“Yeah, I will,” Katsuki nodded firmly. “He needs a nap or he’ll get cranky.”

“Exactly. I’ll come get you guys when dinner is ready, okay? Or if you need anything, you can call me. Your phone is here, see?” He pulled it from his pocket, and Katsuki couldn’t help but wonder how much more cool stuff was in those pockets. “I’ll put my name on the screen, and if you need anything, you can just push the ‘call’ button and I’ll answer super fast, I promise.”

“Okay,” Katsuki nodded. “Um, thanks.”

“My pleasure, Kacchan!” He looked up as Kirishima returned with a sleepy, but clean, Izuku in hand. “I’m gonna steal Kiri away for a bit while you take care of Izuku, okay? But he’ll be with me if you call.”

“Okay.”

Kirishima tucked Izuku into his bed again, and green eyes grew wide and bright when they spotted the toy All Might beside him. Katsuki helped him pick it up, watching him shake it and gurgle happily, and after a moment he slid into his own bed, too.

“I’ll take care of him,” Katsuki said firmly, setting his phone close enough to reach in a hurry, but far enough to not risk Izuku rolling onto it as he slept. “You guys can go make dinner.”

“Okay,” Kirishima said fondly. “Thanks, Kacchan. Have a good time. I’ll see you in a couple of hours, unless you need me first.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will.”

The pair showed themselves out, and Izuku didn’t even seem to notice their departure, too busy burbling at his newfound toy excitedly. Katsuki knew he would drift off again soon, that the novelty would wear off and he’d drop off to sleep, and then, maybe, Katsuki would have a little sleep with him. Just to keep him company, of course.

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